The school has been officially canceled for the 2019-2020 school year and I honestly do not know how to feel. I mean a part of me is happy that I have more summertime, but half of me is upset because I did not get the chance to finish my junior year. I mean there are so many events and ideas I had planned yet now it feels impossible. However, nothing is truly impossible. This is another situation where I have to put the mind of matter. I have to stop stressing about things I cannot control. What is meant to be will happen! But I can’t help to wonder, what am I going to do now?
Throughout quarantine, I have been focusing on college and scholarships. I mean I have made a whole binder named, “Road to College” lol. I guess you can say that I am excited because I am. College is something I fantasize about my whole life! Ever since I was a little girl I knew I was going to New York University. Fast forward almost ten years later plans have changed and I have now set my heart on Howard University. Picking the right college is important to me, and I don’t want to make a decision that I will regret. However, it seems like since Corona has come everything has changed. I probably won’t get the chance to step onto Howard’s campus. But virtual college tours have been helpful like the Chicago HBCU Alumni Alliance. The organization plan a virtual tour with over ten historically black colleges and universities and that was extremely helpful to me. They are hosting a part 2 here is the information:
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https://www.chihbcualliance.com/part2
The next thing that has been on my mind is getting a job. Yes, the time has come for me to start working for my own money. I mean I did babysit last year but I don’t think that is for me. So, I have my first job interview on Thursday! Surprisingly, I am excited I believe one of the reasons why I was opposed to getting a job was fear. But I have to get over that fear only holds me back. Now that school is out, and I’m almost done with my school work; I can focus on me and my development as a person.
One thing I learned about myself during this pandemic, I am not the best person I can be. I’m disappointed in that because I thought that I was solid, but now I realize that I need to do some self-evaluation. I want to officially start my spiritual journey and grow a stronger connection with God. One thing my grandma always told me is, “The devil is working.” I know he is working hard during this time to try to break me, but I WILL NOT LET HIM! As long as I have my connection with God and my family I can achieve anything.
When I began this blog post I felt truly confused about what should I do. However, now I know. See that is why I love writing, I learn something new every time! Also, thank you so much for the nice comments on How Do Mississippians Feel about Confederate Heritage Month? It means a lot to me to have positive support!
Ah yes! college has officially made a comfortable bed in my head. It is all I think about! This was very insightful. It is still comforting to hear how others are dealing with the pandemic and just to see where everyone’s head is at.