Author: Amelia Whitaker

The idea for this type of blog post has come to me, but I’ve always pushed it aside. I think a part of me thought I might be making a big deal out of nothing. However, this blog is about a part of my identity, and after talking with a friend, I realized just how much I have to say. This blog is about my experiences being aromantic: a romantic orientation meaning that I don’t fall in romantic love. Please keep in mind that there are far different experiences other aromantic people have- I do not speak for everyone in the community, I’m merely one person. I hope this post can help spread awareness, and maybe help someone.

The aromantic pride flag

Discovery and Representation

For a long time, I didn’t know what I was. I wanted a label, but all I knew was that I wasn’t straight. It felt wrong to be called straight. I had no idea how to describe what I was, or that being aromantic was a thing- aromantic representation runs extremely thin, and aromantic expression in media is even thinner. Even now, I only find either of those two things when I’m searching for it. There was nothing in my daily life to bring the aromantic label to light.

I tried many different labels. 

“I don’t like men- does that make me a lesbian? Am I lesbian? Or maybe I’m pansexual- maybe I can love everyone, and that makes it harder to find love. Maybe I’m bisexual, and I just haven’t found the right one.”

All of them felt wrong to me, but it was all I had. I had to be something, right? I think the longest label I chose was pansexual, but I distinctly remember being uncomfortable with it.

I don’t remember the video, but I found the word aromantic in a youtube comment. I looked up the word and studied its definition. For me, it was like someone clicked on a light, flushing away the chattering shadows of, “Am I? Am? Am I? Am I?” here, in this label, I found something that felt right. Comfortable, like a reassuring blanket. I found tales of experiences similar to my own, and things started making so much more sense. “Aromantic. That’s me! I am aromantic!” I was lucky to have such an experience.

There was a phase after that, after I came out to my friends, where I referenced being aromantic so much. I was consuming everything I could about it, I was so happy.

But, outside of the aromantic community, there was barely anything that represented being aromantic. Even in the LGBTQ+ community itself, there wasn’t a whole lot. (there’s more there now, thankfully.) The ace-specs know the term much better, but it still makes me feel unknown. Off the top of my head, I can only think of one character in large media that’s obviously aromantic,  Kusuo Saiki, (king) and he’s aromantic-asexual. That’s very valid, shout out to all the aro-aces, the aces, everyone else on the spectrum. I love that there’s at least some representation for the community. However, throughout indie media and larger media, I’ve realized there’s so much more ace representation, and then less but still more, aro-ace representation than only aro representation. I want representation for everyone, but by everyone I mean everyone. If there was more aromantic characters in media, people would better understand what it means to be aromantic, and what comes with it. You can be aromantic but not asexual, you can be asexual but not aromantic, you can be both, you can be other things on the spectrum. (Demiromantic, aegosexual, etc.) If there was more representation, it would make coming out so much easier. It’s hard explain something people know nothing about, and it’s hard to find spaces where you feel welcome. Even in the LGBTQ+ community itself, there’s still people who don’t understand being aromantic, pity being aromantic, or try to wipe it off the radar. Which actually brings me to my next point…

The Pitying of The Aromantic Community

My friend theorized that the reason there’s so little aro representation is because being single is seen as unfulfilling and saddening. In reality, many people, even outside of the aromantic community, don’t need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy or fulfilled. There are other forms of love, and for me, romantic love is less fulfilling than platonic love. Platonic love is the type of love you have with friends and family, and it can be just as strong as romantic love, just… not. You can confide in, cuddle with, and spend half of your time with a platonic friend. Strong bonds aren’t always romantic.

In the past, I dated someone for maybe a year. He was of the opposite gender. He asked me out, and I didn’t know how to respond. I liked spending time with him, and he was a boy, so that meant I liked him, right? I said yes.

When I say nothing changed for me in the relationship, I mean nothing changed. He called me his girlfriend, he got me gifts, we went on dates, and it was fun! But I didn’t realize that all I was feeling was just friendship. There was no change in feelings on my side. Going on dates and getting gifts was because I wanted to spend time with him and thought that was how relationships worked. I feel bad thinking back on it; it feels like I was deceiving him unknowingly. It feels so obvious looking back on it, too. I don’t think the reaction to someone telling you “I think I have a crush on your boyfriend…” is, “Oh. Okay?” And I don’t think you’re supposed to feel weird and anxious saying your boyfriend is your boyfriend. 

I did not see him as my boyfriend,  I saw him as a boy friend, and I didn’t know. 

The time I spend with my friends  as friends feels so much more fulfilling than any time with my ex-boyfriend as a romantic partner. Movie dates where I’m wondering how to make romantic  relationships work cannot compare to giggling with friends at the back of a comic-con. Those romantic “I love you”’s only filled me with discomfort I tried to deny, while my heart blooms when me and my friends tell each other “I love you guys,” platonically.

I am not sad being unable to feel romantic love. What does make me sad is when people say, “You don’t fall in love? I’m so sorry. That sounds horrible.” What does make me sad is when people frame it like I’m missing out on some great experience. Romantic relationships may be great for them, but they aren’t great for me. What does make me sad is when people think being aromantic means I’m emotionless, and unable to feel empathy or any type of love. 

The Denial of the Aromantic Community’s Existence

I know it can be hard to comprehend, especially when someone doesn’t know the term. Some people need an explanation, and I’m happy to provide them with that. Some people still don’t respect it, though, and some people completely deny its existence. So many people deny its existence.

“You’ll find the right person one day.”

“You just need more time!”

“You’re young, it just hasn’t happened yet.”

Yes, I’m young. Maybe one day I’ll realize I’m not aromantic and change my label, which is completely fine. But right now I feel aromantic, belong in this label, and don’t ever see it changing in the future. the most tiring things to hear are variants of the quotes above. They’re so invalidating. Who even is the ‘right person?’ What if the right person is one of my friends? In that case, what if I’ve already found them? It feels like I’ve already found the right person in my friends, as friends.

This experience isn’t exclusive to me. Many other aromantics get told the same thing. There are so, so many of us, and despite what others say, we exist. We are valid.

My Opinion on Romance

Because I’m aromantic, most people assume I don’t like romance, such as in movies or books or other couples in real life. While it’s very real for a aromantic person to be repulsed by all romance (on a spectrum),  personally, I adore romance! I really love fictional ships, and other people being together doesn’t bother me. Reading good, cute romance makes me elated. Though, I have to admit- the way people describe romance sounds horrifying sometimes. Like, you think about one person all of the time and feel horribly sad when they’re gone? You dream about that person and can’t help but admire them silently, hoping your intense feelings are returned? You get into relationships in high school, knowing there’s a very slim chance they’ll lead anywhere more? Don’t even get me started on relationship drama. Why is there so much relationship drama?!

I could never. Great for all the romantics out there, but also man. I am glad I don’t have to deal with that. I’m fine with my lovey-dovey fanfiction and media. 

End

If you got this far, then yay! This post was longer than I realized while writing it. I hope you learned new things, and if you have any questions, I have no problem answering. Have a nice day!

This morning was an odd one for my usual routine. Not much deviated, but the atmosphere upon opening my eyes was different- I don’t know how exactly to explain it, but I felt suspiciously calm, not thinking about how much time I had to get ready. It was 5:55 AM when I woke up, but instead of begrudgingly pulling myself out of bed, I just laid and stared. Minutes ticked by, and when I got up after 6:11, I thought: “I’m going to have to rush like all HECK.”

But I didn’t, and I didn’t feel rushed either. Against the notions of my brain, I had time left while I waited for my family. I looked outside my windows, heard some noises, and decided to spend my free time standing in the driveway with my journal. I hadn’t ever decided to write so early in the morning, and though balancing my journal on my arm to keep my writing steady was troublesome, it was a fulfilling experience. The excerpt below is what I wrote during that time, this very morning. Some small edits have been made to make things more coherent.

11/8/23

Sounds of the Rising Sun

The metalworker is in their workshop this morning, the sounds of clinging metal and skittering chains reaching my ears. I hear them activate the saw again and again, three seconds of silence in between before the scraping resumes like clockwork. There’s a masculine, adult voice shouting at something to my left- my guess is that they’re two houses down, but their voice rides the wind with ease. I can’t make out their words, but they shout in the stern, gruff, warning way one would shout at a misbehaving child or dog. Their voice rings out like a bark: heavy at the beginning and swooping up at the end. When I visualize it, I see it as a sharp punch of sound breaking the air. A cluster of birds swim through the sky above, their bubbly chirps alerting me of their arrival. They sound like colorful dots popping against my tongue and ears, and I can almost see those dots bouncing around them as they fly. Their asymmetrical forms gracefully cut through the fog, their shadowy silhouettes melding with the dark treetops. They take their poppy tweets with them as they leave my line of sight, but another flock flies not far behind. They’re smaller, their voices just as bouncy, and they chitter a similar chorus. Their departure brings my attention to the mist-shrouded lake they flew by. In the fog, the wooden posts of my neighbor’s unfinished dock appear as abandoned, alien monoliths. For a moment there is no noise, and I think about the hoofprints in the lakeside, the dying porch ferns by my feet, and the swamp-tree saplings bordering the right side of the pond. The unexpected rustling of branches snaps me out of my thoughts, and I turn around in search of the noise’s cause. It was so quick, so sudden, that I almost think I never heard it. I think, “It’ll be another memory that washes away with the day.” The crinkled brown leaves I see fall tell me otherwise, though- that noise wasn’t figment of imagination. I hear no squirrels amongst the trees and no birds perching overhead, but I do hear the twist and click of the front door lock. The weather strips squeal as they’re pushed apart from one another, the motion making the automatic light flick on. My mother is here, my sibling is in the car, and it’s time to go to school.

Frogbloginning (Frog-blog-beginning) 

That’s right! It’s time for yet another frog blog! I don’t have much to say before we dive on into the info, but I do have another frog fact to share! Some people might think this is gross, though, so feel free to skip. Frogs throw up by throwing up their stomachs! Like, their entire stomachs get pushed out of their mouths, and then they use their front feet to clean their exposed stomach. Once clean, they just swallow their stomach to put it back in place. How cool is that?! (Source!)

Pumpkin Toadlet (Brachycephalus pernix)

(Source 1)  (Source 2)

Now, you might be wondering why I put a ‘toad’ on this list. Toads aren’t frogs, are they? THAT IS WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN DECIEVED. Every toad is a frog; not every frog is a toad. But, with that out of the way, its time to talk about these absolutely miniscule fellas. Pumpkin toadlets, horribly, have been described as ‘the frog bad at everything.’ Which is, uuhhh… well, I love them and they aren’t extinct, so they’re doing something right! Pumpkin toadlets are so, so tiny that their ears are underdeveloped. This means that their semicircular canals- the bony tubes in your ears that help you balance- can’t… help them balance, making them twirl, summersault, and land every which way whenever they jump. You can find videos online about them! The underdevelopment also means that they can’t hear mating calls, either. 

Purple Digging Frog / Pignose Frog  (Nasikabatrachus sahyadrensis)

(Source 1) (Source 2)

As all I do all frogs, I love this frog so much. Look at its shape! Look at its face! Its so unique, weird, and cute! I say this lovingly: it looks like a yam got turned into a frog. Truly, frogs are amazing. It took a while for the Purple Digging Frog to be discovered because it stays underground most of its life. They only arise for 2-3 weeks during the rain! The females are also much larger than the males, and they straight up carry the males to nesting grounds. The strength of frogs… 

Waxy Monkey Tree Frog (Phyllomedusa sauvagii)

(Source 1) (Source 2)

 Look. Look at this frog. Look at how absolutely chill this green little amphibian is. If you look up pictures of them, you’ll see they can look devoid of braincells and derpy, but they also just… look so chill. The Waxy Monkey Tree frog (A weird name, I know) spends most of its life in treetops. The heat up there, along with spending hours in the sun, would normally dry out a frog’s skin, but not for this species! Waxy Monkey Tree frogs secrete a wax-like substance that retains moisture! Now that you know where the ‘waxy’ and the ‘tree’ part of its name is from, where’s the ‘monkey’ aspect come in? Unfortunately these frogs don’t swing from treetops, but they don’t hop! They just walk, apparently like a monkey. That in itself is GREAT and WONDERFUL and nobody should tell these frogs otherwise.

Frogblogending (Frog-blog-ending) 

That’s it for this frog blog, folks! I hope you learned something new! There’s a lot more interesting frogs out there, available to be researched!

Hello! When thinking of what to do for this blog, I was honestly stumped. I had plenty of concepts and writing scraps on my ideas page, but they all didn’t feel right. Either that, or I thought “I don’t have enough time to write that.”

So, the obvious choice was to start writing something that I really don’t have enough time to write! Haha! Don’t be like me.

The following is what I like to call a ‘drabble.’ To me, a drabble is just something I wrote for fun, like a spontaneous idea. I don’t know exactly where I’ll go with it, but while writing it, I just follow my instincts. I like to try new things in drabbles as well! A lot of my drabbles end up being edited and expanded upon later, but due to short time, this one is rather short. I had a lot of fun writing it, though! The characters in this are dear to me, and I really enjoyed burying myself in Isko’s mindset. Have fun reading, and maybe even give drabbles a try too! They’re neat practice.

Now, prepare yourself for a tone switch.

—☆—

       Isko hates these hallways. He hates their white, fluorescent lighting that bounces off their stupid marble floors. He hates their stupid golden archways, intricately carved with dozens of stupid triangles. He hates their stupid, endless, inescapable, see-through containment cells. He can hear the people inside them; he can see their misty glow. He can barely feel his own legs as he walks past them, focusing his gaze at the door at the end. He doesn’t want to go to the next room; He doesn’t want to see her.

         Her. Vaiya. Even thinking of her name ignites a furious flame within Isko. He wants to slam her head down onto the control counter and throw her into the abyss. He wants to scream at her until his throat bleeds. He wants to rip out her soul and rush her karma. Why does he have to follow her every ord-?

         Hands slam against the glass of the cell to Isko’s right. He flinches, hurrying up his pace. That’s why.

        The flame flickers out, Isko solemnly reaching up to his face. The soul amalgamation behind him continues to beat their fists against the glass.

      “F-f-f-” “F-F-” “F-f-f-f-” “F-f-f-” 

          “O-o-o-r-” “O-O-O-RR-” “O-o-o-o-r-” “O-o-” 

              “Tee-za!” “TTTEZA!” “Ttteeee-zza.” “Rteee-za!” 

       Isko doesn’t respond to their overlapping cries. The door feels like it’s getting further and further away. Is he even making progress? He has to be. He’s walking. Not that logic applies to him anymore, but he has to get there. His face feels like a mask glued to his skull. He can’t take it off. How much time does he have left? He feels nauseated, his stomach buzzing with painful tensity that he can’t will away. It feels like his throat is running with saliva, a coiled object choking him in the back of his throat, pushing him to the edge of gagging but never doing so. His tongue tastes disinfected, his nostrils burn in the sterile air, his hands shake as he reaches out to the doorknob-

     But the door is still far away. Isko digs his claw-like nails into his arm before he can shout out a frustrated curse. Vaiya would hear him, and he doesn’t need more on his plate. He just needs to stay calm. Calm, calm, calm. He repeats the word as he walks forward, forcing his shoulders to relax. 

     Calm, calm, calm, calm…

    There’s soul amalgamations staring at him, calculating.

    Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm…

    How many has he gotten for her now? How long have they been waiting?

    Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm.

    They still think they can escape. They think if they appease her, then they’ll find an opening. Isko can see it on their faces. 

   Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm-

   They don’t get it. There’s nothing they can do. Vaiya will never let them go; Vaiya will never relent. Why are they still hoping? Just give up. The ones that give up are easier to look at. Melted puddles of nulled emotions, glassy eyes that stare into nothing.

    Calm, calm, calm calm, calm, calm, calm, calm. It isn’t helping. Calm doesn’t even feel like a word anymore. Is he repeating calm or clam? Clamp? Triangular, golden clamps. Isko’s breath turns wheezy. It would be funny if it wasn’t terrifying.

    The door is right in front of him. Golden triangles decorate its surface, their shiny exteriors reflecting a warped image of Isko’s face. He stumbles back with a start, squeezing his eyes shut. Hurry, Isko, hurry. It’s just a stupid reflection. He throws open the door with far too much urgency. 

From ants trekking across the ground, to the fish swimming in the abyss, to the birds soaring through the sky, the world around us is full of life. However, living in a world with cars and houses, sometimes its easy to forget that. I used to look at common birds and think nothing of it, but now I can’t help but get elated upon seeing them. I wonder what their lives are like. What has the crow outside done today? Did the stray dogs in the parking lot sleep well? Did the frog on the rock see anything interesting?

This type of thinking has given me a whole new appreciation of the world and its inhabitants. I’ve had many small encounters with creatures that remain fresh in my mind today, and though these encounters might not mean much in the grand scheme of things, they feel special to me. Today, I want to share some of these moments! Unfortunately I only have pictures for one, but I’ll put it in!

Late Night Doe of Early Morning

I’ve never considered myself a light sleeper, but its occurred to me that I probably am. Recently I awoke from slumber at 3:20 AM, the sound of crunching leaves reaching my ears. At first I didn’t want to get up, but then my brain hit me with the, “What if it’s a cool animal?” And I cannot argue with that. I stood up faster than I ever have, sleepily-but-also-somehow-very-wide-awakenly moving aside the white curtains blocking my view, and lo and behold, there was a brown doe standing in the moonlight. I didn’t know what she was doing here, especially since I live right next to a loud workshop and neighborhood, but she was unbothered. I don’t know if she even noticed me. I watched her walk to the front of my house with effortless elegance. After writing what I saw down, I went back to sleep.

I wonder what that deer was doing there? I don’t know what she could have gained from walking through my yard. Whatever her reason, I hope she’s doing well.

Light Searching Luna Moth

Bonk, bonk, bonk. Reading in my bed at night, I hear it. Bonk, bonk, bonk. One of my cats is suspiciously staring at the window by my corner lamp. BONK, BONK, BONK. The noise was so loud it was honestly a bit frightening at first. What gargantuan bug could be smacking against my window so fiercely? I had to know. And I also had to keep my cat from terrifying the thing. Sorry, Sophie. She was transported out of the room before I looked to see what it was.

It was glorious. Amazing. Entrancing.

It was a MOTH. A luna moth, to be precise! Though one of its swallowtails appeared to be missing, it seemed to be flying fine, though it was mostly bonking on my window to get to my lamp. I was absolutely amazed with this moth. It was was so fuzzy, so absolutely huge, green, and it was a moth! I immediately told everyone in the house that there was a luna moth, and me and my sibling watched it on its quest for light. I was honestly a bit worried it would hurt itself, but it landed on the side of the window eventually.  Sadly, but also thankfully, it realized it could not reach the light. It flew off into the night to hopefully chase other dreams, like safely landing on outdoor lights that aren’t heated and are 100% safe for moths.

Bouncing Bunches of Tiny Frogs

In the spring and summer, my yard bursts to life…

…With frogs. Toads? Every toad is a frog, but not every frog is a toad.

In any case, my yard becomes overrun with this teeny-tiny brown frogs, small enough to fit on my fingertips. They hop around in huge numbers doing frog activities. I love them so much, but they make me so scared for them. I watch my every step like a hawk and spend a moment making sure the coast is clear before pulling down the trash can. May the frogs be prosperous!

Opossum Apparition

Yet another encounter in front of my bedroom window, and another result of hearing crinkling leaves. I don’t remember the exact time, but I believe it was somewhere around 5:00-6:00 when I woke up to hear crunching leaves. I walked over to the curtains and pulled them aside, seeing a huge opossum. Opossums are so cute, cool, and also dangerous, and though I knew what they looked like, I had never seen one in person. I didn’t know they were so huge! I watched its tail sway back and forth as it rounded the corner, and to be completely honest, I almost gaslighted myself into thinking it wasn’t real. If I hadn’t told anyone else about it, I probably wouldn’t even be telling this story now. Many, many nights later, me and my sibling discovered an opossum digging through are trash. It was ferocious as it was adorable, and I wonder if  it was the same one as before. I hope they’re living their best life(s).

(A photo of the Orion Nebula)

ALIENS! A icon of my brainrot; I absolutely adore aliens. While I do believe aliens exist somewhere out in the cosmos, I don’t believe in any alien conspiracy theories (nor do I want to hear about them.) The aliens I’m interested in are the ones of fiction. 

 I love, love, love, creating my own species and reading the lore of what others have made. From everything I’ve seen, alien creation has practically no boundaries. Do you want to create an alien that doesn’t incorporate science, or even breaks science? You can do that! The universe is endless- who knows what kind of materials are out there, and what they can do? You want an alien that is built off of science? Also great! That’s absolutely amazing! You want an alien that’s humanoid? Despite what others say, that’s also totally possible! Convergent evolution is already a thing on earth itself! You want an alien that looks other worldly? GO FOR IT! You can make aliens that live in the sea, underground, in the sky, in deadly forests, in hot lava, space itself, and more. Your imagination can run rampant, and you should let it! There’s tons of theories and ideas you can use as well. Life has evolved to be small, so what if a sentient lifeform evolved to be small? What would microscopic societies look like? Alien lifeforms could be made out of some new substance that doesn’t appear alive to humans. What could arise from encountering a species like that? You also don’t need to stick to ‘bad’ aliens. Aliens can be anything! Good, bad, neutral, whatever! You can even add the societal complexity humanity has to them! I, personally, really love aliens that are just as excited to discover humanity as humanity is to discover them. Positive interactions! My favorite book of all time, Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, has my favorite depiction of aliens ever. Man, I love that book. 

We’ve only scratched the surface of alien creation, though. When you build aliens, you can start with a completely blank canvas. Its up to you to decide what their planet looks like, what lives on that planet, the properties of that planet, how it effects the aliens, and vice versa. You can write history from the first evolution all the way to the space age. You get to create an entirely new culture, society, language, religion, and more. Think about how your aliens properties might change how they live! If they’re hyper-intelligent, what would their school systems look like? Would they hold knowledge over strength, strength over knowledge, or maybe something else? If nature is a part of a major religion, would your aliens be more hesitant to destroy it? What are the beauty standards? Are there even beauty standards? A fun exercise for this is to take human customs and reverse them. What if having eye contact is rude? What if houseguests are supposed to cook dinner instead of the host? What if you’re supposed to be loud instead of quiet?  

…Okay, this is probably too many questions. I’ll ask one last question, and its very important. The question is: Why? Its fun making all of these concepts, but its always good to have a reason for why your aliens are the way they are. If you have a concept you really like but can’t find an answer to “Why,” don’t be afraid to use that concept for another alien species! I personally like to put all my species in the same universe. Here are some final parting tips for creating aliens, but you can do anything!  

• Research different kinds of planets. Gas giants, tidally locked planets, etc. 
• Research how the moon and sun effect planets, along with how their distances, sizes, and quantities might change things. 
• Look at pictures of deep sea creatures and bugs. If aliens like that aren’t your vibe, go look at pictures of random animals that interest you! 
• Research adaptations for different climates.  
• Think about mundane things you do and think about how other creatures might do it. (Making beds, cooking, playing instruments, etc.) 

(A photo of the Pillars of Creation)

(This blog INCLUDES MINOR SPOILERS.)

You’ve all probably heard of a game called Undertale before. It took the world by storm when it was released, arguably shaping the internet itself. Even now, eight years later, the fandom is still kicking, a testament to the effects it had (and still has) on people. 

Undertale was a big part of my life in the past. To be exact, it was a special interest of mine for years. I would listen to the phenomenal soundtrack on loop, I would watch playthroughs on T.V using YouTube, and I would eat up and create so much fan content, among other things. Every now and then I go back into a less intense version of my Undertale phase, which is what inspired me to write this blog! There’re so many incredible things about Undertale- the attention to even the smallest details, the comedy, the characters, the story, the music, the secrets, the charm- everything, really. Even now, though I’ve watched playthroughs like a billion times, I still find new things. All of these are great topics to discuss, but today I want to talk about my favorite character in the game: Papyrus. 

Papyrus is a confident, energetic, optimistic, and extremely intelligent skeleton who thinks very highly of himself. He often refers to himself as ‘The Great Papyrus’ and commonly thinks he can’t be wrong, but not in a way I found annoying. Yes, he can be a bit insensitive at times, but I don’t think he means to be, he just doesn’t realize. In fact, I’ve noticed that he struggles with recognizing tone, which I appreciate to see in a character, albeit the reason being his optimism and naïve nature. Not to say he’s unaware when something big is wrong, but he gives one of his friends the same gift every time they train because he thinks she loves it. In reality, she just says thanks and puts them in a drawer.  

Papyrus is also just so friendly and excitable, minus the attacking you to capture you and turn you over to the royal guard. Despite your soul being the key to freeing his species from their underground prison and fulfilling his dreams of joining the royal guard, Papyrus still hesitates to attack you. He stops himself in the middle of asking to be friends, telling himself he must capture you and turn you in. He’s one of the only monsters in game who doesn’t try to kill you, too. When your HP reaches zero, your soul stops taking damage and he just puts you in a big shed. He also gets really nervous when you have to face one of his legitimately deadly traps, so he turns it off before you can even do it. Papyrus also lies to Undyne, his closest friend, to ensure your safety, and that’s huge for him. He feels so bad lying, and says he just wants to be friends with everyone. IT HURTS MY SOUL. The reason he wants to join the royal guard in the first place is because he thinks it’ll get people to think he’s cool, get him more friends, and praise him. He doesn’t have many friends and desperately seeks the approval of others, WHICH MAKES MY HEART BREAK. He tries so hard to be loved, man. 

Moving on, a thing I’ve noticed within the fandom is that a lot of people gloss over how smart Papyrus is. Sure, he thinks Toriel is just a shaved clone of Asgore, but he’s built entire puzzles in Snowdin. Puzzles with pressure plates, spikes, axes, flames, and more. He even sets up an invisible electricity maze for you, and in the winter alarm clock dialogue (which is canon) he builds a labyrinth made of ice and musical ornaments in front of his house. The thing was so huge and complex that another character ended up stuck inside. Papyrus’s dedication, creativity, and intelligence is wild. He even painted a rock formation to look like a giant cliff, and it ended up so realistic that people started believing it was real! Though, that might have something to do with the fact Papyrus can break reality… 

Overall, I just really like Papyrus, man. There are so many more Papyrus facts I could share, but then this blog would probably end up clunky and jumping from topic to topic too much. I will say that I don’t agree with his whole ‘don’t be lazy’ mindset towards his brother, but Papyrus still holds a special place in my heart. He’s so goofy, but there’s also so much more to his character. There’s Papyrus iceberg investigations for a reason.

Cringe culture is something a lot of people are familiar with. Cringe culture, simply put, is an online culture of making fun of and/or harassing groups of people for their interests. Teenagers, adults, and even kids aren’t excluded. Years ago, me and my best friends were talking about hyper fixations. I told them I had one, and of course, they asked me what it was on. A wave of dread washed over me in that moment. I was hyper fixated on a character labeled as cringe, and I was afraid they would think I was cringe because of it. Thankfully, they were fine with it. They’ve never supported cringe culture. 

Even now, that fear of being cringe still lurks. (Heck, even writing this I’m worried about it sounding cheesy.)  I don’t see many people outright call something cringe anymore, but the judgement and toxicity is still rampant. I won’t lie, fans can be horrendous, but that’s being horrendous. There’s fans who will send death threats to people who like a character they’re crushing on, but people who support cringe culture will be out there tormenting someone who harmlessly ships themselves with a character. It’s so stupid- if nobody is getting hurt, physically or mentally, there shouldn’t be a problem. If it makes you happy, do what you want! Make fan characters, write that lovey-dovey fanfiction, design those brightly colored anthropomorphic characters, ramble about Undertale! These things make people so happy, and that’s okay. I cannot express my absolute joy when someone is fine with me watching kids cartoons, or when they listen to me go on a tangent about a comfort ship. It feels as bright as the sun.  

Cringe culture looks at all of what I just described (and more) and seethes. It tears people down, it makes people feel like garbage, it makes people hide their hyper fixations, hobbies, art, music, and writing. Cringe culture destroys creativity and joy, and acknowledging how stupid it is incredibly freeing. My stories and characters have never been as vibrant since I’ve kicked away the cringe monster, even though it still lurks at times. Here’s some things that helped me build my confidence! I hope they help you, too. 

• Legit just throw the word cringe into the trash when thinking about yourself and other people.  
• Hold the word ‘weird’ in a positive light! Weird things are great. 
• Try and look at yourself without bias. When reflecting, use neutral wording. 
• Congratulate yourself for the small steps. A step is still a step; look at you go! 
• Fake it till you make it. Of course, don’t ignore your emotions, but telling yourself “I’m going to do great!” When you feel anxious can do wonders.  

(Do keep in mind this is not professional advice or anything. This is just stuff that’s helped me.) 

And with that, this blog comes to a close! Cringe culture isn’t dead, unfortunately, but together people can stomp it into its grave! Do what you love and have a nice day! 

Recently, my friend introduced me to a game called Identity V. It looked interesting, especially because at the time it was having a crossover with a series we both enjoyed, but I was extremely hesitant to try it. It’s a horror game, for starters, and though I love watching horror games, the moment I’m playing one I start quaking in my shoes. Secondly, it looked like there was a lot of content, and I get overwhelmed extremely easily with that type of stuff. Even with games I really enjoy, big updates- or simply a bunch of new dialogue to discover- can frighten me to the point of not picking up the game for months on end.  Even though I was fearful, I still wanted to play. Eventually, I went to the app store and downloaded it before my mind’s screams of “NO,” could stop me. The crossover event had added two big comfort characters of mine to the game, so I used that to calm myself.  

The game is actually really fun! I’ve been playing for a while, and I like it. There were a lot of things to learn about navigating the home page (Is… Is that what it’s called? Uh… Lobby?) such as where shops are, is there more of that introduction story available, how to flip through all the characters, and more, but I got the hang of it. It took me like two weeks to figure out I could just flip the pages of the character journal to see all of them instead of sorting by type.

The characters also have lore surrounding them, but I have yet to unlock any of it. It requires doing a game mode that I’m still building up the courage for.

The gameplay and aesthetic itself is nice. It’s kind of based off old time periods- I don’t know which- and the main story, though uncomplete, is in the mystery genre! I suspect the main story has something to do with why the characters look like sewn dolls, but I don’t know.  There’s a different match types you can do such as rank matches, multiple different modes like minigames, and double hunters, but I haven’t played double hunters or rank yet. The main type of matches are quick matches, which are what I play the most nowadays. Four players, called survivors, are put into different spooky maps with another player called a hunter. The survivors are all humans, whilst the hunters are either monsters or taller/bigger humans/humanoids that carry weapons. The survivors’ jobs are to decode machines placed around the map, while the hunter’s job is to knock down the survivors and put them in rocket chairs to be blasted into the sky and disqualified. Decoding is done through a series of quick time events, and the hunter must hit someone two times to knock them down. Once five machines have been decoded, the exit gates can be opened, and survivors leave through there to win! The hunter must eliminate at least three survivors to win. There’s other mechanics as well, but I don’t want to make this post too long.  

 There’s a ton of different abilities for different characters. Some survivors can electrocute the hunter to stun them, others can turn invisible for a few seconds, and there’s so many more. My favorite survivor characters to play are The Mind’s Eye and The Novelist, granted I mainly play The Novelist because I got the costume that turns them into one of my comfort characters from the crossover… but his ability is still fun!

The Novelist can swap controls with other survivors, if given permission, and you both get a speed boost when swapped. The Novelist can also swap controls with the hunter without permission, but neither of them get the speed boost, they can’t use abilities or interact, and The Novelist must be close to the hunter for a while before the ability activates. A lot of the time swapping with the hunter merely delays getting hit, but there’s also times where the hunter has no idea what’s going on, walking further away from their body, and thus helping you escape when you switch back. It’s also really helpful when saving survivors from rocket chairs. Some hunters camp chairs to stop survivors from rescuing each other, but with The Novelist and another survivor, you can swap controls and give the other survivor enough time to complete the rescue.

The Mind’s Eye ability ties to the cane she uses as a guide. Other items can’t be picked up due to The Mind’s Eye needing the cane, as she’s blind (yay for disability rep!) but you can hit the cane on the ground and reveal the hunter’s location to everyone, including yourself, for a few seconds. In that time frame you can see other survivors, machines, and it’s extremely helpful.

I usually use the ability when the match starts so I can see where the hunter is and stay away from them, because man am I terrible at escaping. The Mind’s Eye is also faster at decoding machines, which is not only super lit and fits my playstyle a lot, but I also enjoy how it subverts the expectation of “Oh, she’s blind, she wouldn’t be able to get it right.” Like no, she’s gonna solve these things at the speed of light and it rules. The downside is that she’s fragile and thus can’t vault over objects and knock things over as fast, but that works for me. The screen also does this really cool thing when playing as her! It gets shadowy and grayscale, which can give areas different vibes. Meanwhile, when playing as a hunter, my main character is the Soul Weaver.

Basically, the Soul Weaver a spider woman that can set up web traps to slow survivors and reveal their location. She can also put survivors in cocoons, which means you don’t have to carry survivors to rocket chairs and risk them struggling free from your grasp. I actually used to only play as a hunter (you can pick which team you’re on, thank goodness) but once I adjusted to the horror enough, I started playing as survivor. Ironically, now I usually play as a survivor! 

Moving on to the community! It’s.. Uh.. The community in the English chats are horrid, but there’s one channel where people say “flesh,” and add “flesh,” to the end of their sentences. The people there are nice, and to my surprise the flesh thing has been going on for years now. The ‘Flesh chat’ as its called also runs a lot slower than the English channels, so it’s less overwhelming. Despite the horribleness in the English channels, I’ve personally run into a ton more nice people than not! People who will do little dances with you, survivors who wait for each other at the exit gate, people who tell everyone good luck, etc. There’s even been a lot of times where everyone tries to save someone at once. If there is someone who’s being whack, they can only talk before and after the game, in which you can just exit the ‘after-match’ channel and probably not see them again. Hopefully. 

 Overall, IDV is pretty neat from what I’ve seen. The game modes are fun, the aesthetic is neat, and people can be nice! There’s a lot more I could go into further detail on, but this is just the basics. It’s playable for free and available on both PCs and phones, so if you want to check it out, you can! I’m glad I battled my fear and went for it. Fear can be valid, but it can also stop people from enjoying things, and unfortunately its difficult to tell which it is. If you think fear’s holding you back from doing something fun, try going for it!

Frogbloginning (Frog-blog-beginning) 

FROGS. The absolute peak of superiority. The most wonderful creatures in existence. The most goofy little guys who can look like they don’t have a singular braincell behind those eyes, but at the same time they look like they’re reading your very soul and they know your darkest secrets. They are SO CUTE. The way they hop around, the way they’re shaped, the way they’re EVERYTHING. They are insanely cool and adorable and I LOVE THEM. I’ve decided to share some cool frog species! Before we get into that, though, here’s something to note:  

Do NOT pick up frogs with bare hands. I know how tempting it is, but don’t! See, frogs have semi-permeable skin, which means they absorb things, like oxygen, through their skin. When you pick up a frog, the oils on your hands are absorbed. These oils can harm a frog, so if you really need to hold a frog, make sure you wear gloves! (Source) Make sure to tell other people as well; unfortunately, a lot of people don’t know this information. Now, let us expand our frog knowledge horizon! Our first little meepy to look at is… drumroll please… 

 The Titicaca Water Frog! (Telmatobius culeus) 

(Source 1) (Source 2) 

Titicaca frogs, like all frogs, are amazing. They are only native to Lake Titicaca, and unfortunately, they are critically endangered. Their faces look like the ‘:3’ emoticon, they’re one of the largest water frogs alive, and they live their entire lives underwater! Yes, they do have lungs, but said lungs are much smaller than you would expect. Titicaca water frogs instead respire through their baggy, folded skin! These frogs will even do ‘push-ups’ underwater to increase the water flowing over their skin, allowing it to absorb more oxygen. What amazing little creatures! 

The Wood Frog! (Lithobates sylvaticus) 

(Source 1) (Source 2) (Source 3) 

Oh, glorious wood frogs. Wood frogs are the only frogs that live north of the arctic circle, which basically means they live in very cold temperatures! As such, they’ve developed an amazing way to combat the cold- wood frogs freeze themselves during hibernation. You heard that right. 35% to 45% of a wood frog’s body might turn to ice when they freeze. The outsides of cells and organs freeze over, ice forms between skin and muscles, and the frog’s breathing, heartbeat, and muscle movement all cease. Once the ice thaws, though, wood frogs hop right back up on their feet, alive! This is possible because the insides of their cells and organs are protected by large amounts of glucose, making it so only the outsides of cells and organs freeze! How absolutely incredible is that?  

The Hairy Frog! (Trichobatrachus robustus) 

(Source 1) 

Hairy frogs are also known as wolverine frogs and horror frogs! Honestly, the last two names are more fitting, as the hairy frog doesn’t actually have hair. The ‘hair’ seen in the picture above are actually filaments of skin that help these frogs breathe more, and they’re only present in males during breeding season! But is a name like ‘horror frog’ really more accurate? To me, yes, and I say that positively. These guys are gruesome in an awesome way- they push their hooked bones out through their skin to make claws! These claws aren’t true claws as they’re made of bone, but that just makes it even cooler.

Frogblogending (Frog-blog-ending) 

 That is the end of this round of frogs! I hope you enjoyed and learned something new. There’s tons of cool frog species out there, so there very well might be another frog blog in the future! Remember to be nice to frogs, and goodbye!