Hello guys,

I am back again and tears are flooding my keyboard. Sooo, college season is coming to a detrimental end. I will be receiving my last few decisions this week. I have been accepted to 15 schools, but we always talk about the acceptances and the rejections get no attention. I understand the need of staying positive during this horrid time, but I want to talk about my rejections, how I reacted to them, and how they made me feel later on.

All the colleges I got accepted to had decent acceptance rates (30% and up), but my top schools are 15% and under and they have truly humbled me. Of course I didn’t expect to be accepted to all of them, but I definitely didn’t think there would be so many back to back rejections. The first one was the University of Florida followed by Tulane, Notre Dame, Baylor, Johns Hopkins, University of Southern California, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Swarthmore, and Northeastern. After applying, thinking about the possibility of rejection initially struck me hard, and I thought I would be devastated, crying, and sad. Fortunately, that was not the case and I took the rejections pretty well. When I first open them I’m a little bummed like any normal person would be and I think about them often, not separately but as a whole and it still hasn’t struck me very hard. I only think it will hit me excruciatingly hard if I don’t get into ANY of my top schools. I’m not necessarily worried about that, because I am still awaiting 14 schools to release decisions and I think I have good odds to get at least 2 out of 23 top schools in all. 

Even if I don’t get into them that just means that it’s not meant for me to be there and I have 15 other schools to pick from and am grateful for all my acceptances. I’m just ready to know all my decisions so I can start narrowing down my options, because people keep asking me where I’m going and I am so tired of saying idk. Yet, I’m also not trying to rush the process, because I don’t want to make the wrong decision and I will never have the opportunity to do this again, to be at this exact moment in life again, or to be this same person.

Now to go more in depth on my feelings about the rejections. I am happy that I can honestly say that I have not shed a single tear over a college rejection. Sometimes I don’t know how to feel about that, because it could mean that I am secure in myself, happy with my acceptances, and proud of myself for even having the courage to submit applications to these places. On the other hand it could mean that I didn’t put enough effort into my application, I don’t care enough about the colleges, or that I am very nonchalant. Either way it’s over and I cannot redo it so I’ll just stick with the first option to keep a positive mind, because there’s no point in overthinking about things that are already done. 

The only thing that makes me kind of sad is the thought that if I were at my old school I would have been valedictorian, class president, and probably would have gotten into some of these schools. I think the MSA classes on my transcript probably aren’t taken serious, because they aren’t academic classes. I could have been taking so many more AP and DC classes, but here I am. Colleges say they like creatives and standouts, but that is only true for art, design, music, and dance colleges. College is like monopoly or spades; it’s a gamble and only a very few win. Even those that win get screwed over sometimes, but college admissions is all a game and whoever plays it the best will get the outcome they want. 

It’s been a long wait, but it’s almost over and I am truly excited for the college experience and the ability to explore the world. Thank you for listening to my sob story. The tears flooding my keyboard have now dried!

Author: Aleria Holmes

Aleria Holmes I'm a Senior Literary Student at MSA with a passion for writing much stronger than a hobby. After high school I plan to attend Columbia University to major in Creative Writing (screenwriting specifically) and minor in Psychology. I love what I do and I hope to make a career out of it someday.

3 thoughts on “THEY DON’T WANT ME…”

  1. What you touched on last in this was so real. The college I’ll be going to doesn’t seem to care a lot about creative writing which I want to continue. I genuinely hope college life is good for you!

Leave a Reply