Category: Junior Literary

Guys I want this blog to just kind of be a good send off. It’s the last blog of the year and being at the Mississippi School of the Arts has just taught me so much. Going to this school has made me more independent, driven me to work harder, and just overall taught helped me excel in areas where I once was mediocre or less than. I will not be returning to this school next year, but I still am so thankful that I got to attend for even a year and learn as much as I have. I have made a great circle of friends this year that I plan on trying to keep in touch with and I have a great roomate who I got along very well with. Of course, I’ve also had some rocky moments here like navigating having to be so independent and having to learn how to control some of my symptoms. That is okay though in my opinion that’s what growing up and learning is. I am not excited to leave (mostly because of all the packing we have to do) and I’m going to start a new chapter of my life back at home. I plan on getting a job and going back to my old school where I will likely only have two classes a day and then I will work when I’m not in school and will go back to my home gym which I miss dearly. It’s almost like coming home to a new world so I’m also excited for that I think it will all go well even if it seems a bit scary right now. I will have things I especially miss and things not as much. Like having to take my medicine at certain times at night and being on such a strict schuedle.  But I will obviously miss my friends and how funny all of them are! That’s all for my up’s and downs though and I can’t wait to use my knowledge learned in the future.

I’m so glad I finally have it in me to make a creative blog again. My past seven blogs have been embarrassingly uncreative and, rather than the soul, they came from my brain and ego under the desire to tell people about myself and what I like.

I recently turned seventeen. As soon as midnight arrived, I felt this deeply rooted fear come out and, over a month later, it still hasn’t left. I know I’m young, so there should be nothing to worry about. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. Yet all I can do is worry and, I think, that’s a sign that I’m growing up.

If anyone from the generations that raised me (Baby Boomers and Generation X) read this, they would probably laugh at everything I’m about to discuss. Growing up with people significantly older than me started this ideology that I shouldn’t worry about adult things and just focus on being young, but now that I’m inching closer to becoming a legal adult, no one has told me to stop worrying. Actually, I think most people in my life are unknowingly encouraging my anxiety with all the talk about college and jobs and don’t even get me started on a future family.

It’s all a big mess that I just have to turn my head away from because I can’t clean it up or walk away from it. I’m too young to tackle those problems head on, but I’m too old to not worry about it. So I’m in this dreadful in-between period, just trying to distract myself from the slowly approaching tsunami of stress.

Recently, I’ve taken my mental health very seriously. I’ve been observing myself like a friend: predicting my own actions, keeping track of my worries, and even counseling myself. I have three, going on four, planners/calendars. I still end up needing extra help, though. I feel like I can’t even catch a break.

With my birthday, grades of college classes, regular classes, and arts classes, and relationships with people, this last semester has completely knocked me down, stomped on me, rolled me into a ditch, threw a bunch of trash on me, and then I’m still expected to get up, dust myself off, and buckle in for an extremely busy summer break. 

“But I believe in myself,” I say to myself, knowingly lying. “I can do it. Nothing I haven’t done before!” *extreme eye twitching*

This blog was originally supposed to be a sweet reflection of my junior year, but the more I write, the more I realize I’m so glad it’s over. Usually, I would say I’m not ready to be a senior and I’m afraid to grow up. But right now? I can’t wait to be free from my shackles. The sad thing is, I already know that summertime will put on a fresh, new set of shackles right on these weary wrists until I enter my senior year. Then it’s like I’m switching shackles again.

I know right now is a difficult time for me, and I know senior year will also be difficult. But I hope I can find the joy in… wearing shackles. I’ve worked incredibly hard to discover my weaknesses and aid them over the past few months, and I can only hope I care about myself this much in the upcoming months.

I will admit: I’m very thankful for my junior year at MSA. I think this has been one of the best moments of my life. I’m very grateful for all of my friends and teachers and even myself. I’ve gone through a lot of self discovery and I can definitely feel myself developing into a young adult. 

It’s a strange process and it’s even stranger to physically and mentally feel it. It’s easier to let time pass then look back and think, “Wow, I’ve changed a lot!” but it’s so incredibly weird to look in the mirror and say, “Hey, I’m changing. Like, right now.”

I hope I’m able to write a sweeter blog when I return for senior year or maybe even as I graduate. Maybe then, I’ll be emotionally recharged enough to cry over the fact that the biggest chapter in my life is about to come to an end.

Wish me luck over the summer! If you’re wondering, I’ll just share all of my plans here. In June alone, I plan to attend a week-long writer’s workshop and then go to the beach immediately after and then visit family for another few days. I also plan to go camping, get my driver’s license, deep clean the entire house, renovate the backyard, and on top of all of that, take Spanish 1 and 2 as college classes.

To any of my peers that are planning a busy summer, I wish you the best. And if you’re clearing your entire schedule for summer to rot in your room, I wish you well too. I can’t wait to see how much I’ve changed by the time I return to MSA, and I can’t wait to see my soon-to-be seniorly peers!

First off, I just want to say that this year has been amazing. I never would have expected it to end so fast, but here we are. It feels surreal how fast the times have come and gone, but it also feels like a victory. When I first got here, I was super scared of what being a literary major would be like. I knew I liked to write and build my own characters, but I was terrified of sharing my work. It was fine when I was just reading stuff to my mom but reading my work to complete strangers was definitely a challenge for me.

Besides that, I was also scared that I would not be good enough. When I first got here, I lacked confidence when it came to writing, and I felt it was because of the change in environment. As many people know, coming to MSA is a very big change.

However, I’ve realized that it wasn’t a bad change. I’ve learned about my art, and I’ve learned a lot about other people’s art too.  I’ve learned about character building and descriptions and details and the ways it can make a story flourish. I’ve learned other very important and crucial writing tips to carry with me on my writing journey. I’ve also had the opportunity to see growth in my writing, my communication skills, my social skills, and confidence.

  I’m thankful that I’ve had the opportunity to share and connect with different people. It’s such a blessing to be educated on something that I love (most of the time). I’m also excited about the summer and what it might look like. Saturday is going to be my first job interview, and I can’t wait to see what my summer workplace is going to be. It’s an agriculture center in my town, which works perfectly for me because I love everything about science and nature. I also thought it might be good to check out certain fields. Especially since my senior year is right around the corner.

Besides working, I do plan to rest too. I want to make sure I am getting proper rest, especially since I’ve been heavily neglecting my sleep schedule during these past few months. Of course, it has everything to do with me, so I am taking matters into my own hands this summer by going to bed at nine o’clock every night. I’m not letting anybody talk me out of it.

  Something else I’m looking forward to this summer is a weekly camping trip I do with my friends every year. It’s super fun and it gives us an opportunity to get out of our houses and meet new people. I’m so excited about it, and I’m also excited to meet with my friends again on a weekly basis. I feel like I haven’t talked to any of them since coming to MSA, so it would be nice to see them more often. I hope you guys have also had a positive experience at MSA and I hope to see you next year!

“You have been drawn,” are a few of many words on the page. I can’t stop reading those four words. I can’t stop thinking, “I’m going to die.” I’m going to lose everything I care for. No one has survived. They can say they have all they want, but no survivor has been seen. I can’t believe I’m next. Why won’t my legs move? They feel so heavy. I need them to get to the door.  

“Parker?” my mom calls from the driveway. 

“Parker, what’s going on?” my dad asks standing next to her. 

“They… they drew me,” is all I can mutter back. 

My mother fell to her knees after hearing those words. It’s crazy how big of an effect just a few words can cause. Thes words cause me to stand frozen and cause my mom to weep on the ground and cause my dad to stand there trying to figure out what to do. 

About two years ago, the U.S. Government implemented a draft like plan. Every month, a handful of people would be drawn basically from a hat. If you are drawn, you are forced to have this experimental surgery. The surgery is supposed to help the government get a better understanding of this new biotechnology. Apparently, it’s supposed to revolutionize the way we live. Once used, it’s supposed to change everything. But the problem is, they won’t tell us anything about it. What it is, what it does, why we want it. Nothing. ` 

Everyone who gets drawn goes and never comes back. They always tell us that people survive all the time, but that is just a lie. My uncle got drawn in the first year. When he didn’t return, they told us he survived a moved somewhere else. Then every week we would receive letters from him saying how good his life was now and how his “enhancement” makes everything so much better. The problem was, he didn’t really talk to us much. So, why was he sending us letters. 

After many moments of crying and silece, we all decided to walk back inside. My dad holds my mom as she continues to cry. He carries her through the door where he lets go of her so she can go to the couch. 

“What do I do?” I ask. 

“What can you do?” my dad answers. This makes my mom weep even harder. 

“But I’m not ready to die,” 

“You won’t. Your uncle survived. I’m sure it’s going to be fine,” he tells me. 

“We haven’t seen him since he left for the surgery. We have no idea if those letters are even from him,” I yell. 

“I’ve told you time and time again, stop saying that! My brother is alive, and you know that. You will survive. We will have you back. There’s nothing for you to do,” says my dad. 

“No, I have to go. I have to run. Y’all have to take me somewhere. I can’t risk this. My whole life will go away,”  

“Run where? They’re going to find you no matter what. You have to do this. We will not let you run from this. For once in your life, you need to be responsible,” he yells at me. 

I look at my mom to see if she is willing to help. Our eyes connect, but she looks away. That was all I needed to see to know that she was on his side. At that moment I knew that I couldn’t stay there. My own parents weren’t willing to help save me. So, now I must go to a place where I can get help. 

Six months ago, not long after my uncle was drawn, I was taken to the police station after stealing a few things from a clothing store. Though I’ve been there a few more times since then, that was my very first time being arrested. I’m not sure why I steal. My parents don’t really support me in the way that I need them to. Maybe it’s for attention. Maybe it’s for freedom. I can normally get out of trouble easily, though. I’m a good liar. I use the young and stupid excuse all the time. It works like a charm.  

I don’t even know if I can classify what I’m having as burnout or just ready for the school year to be over. I think many people are feeling the same strain right now where they just want things to come to a closing point. I am doing well in all of my classes but turning in work on deadlines is getting harder and harder and I just keep wondering when is it going to end! I also thing I’m just regressing though as I find myself listening to more melancholy music and not using my coping skills to my fullest ability. So, I plan to put more boundaries in place to try and get back on track first off, I am slowly going down on a medicine that was making me too tired to really do any of my work on time. I am going back to using these squishy things I use to calm down (Lol) and I really recommend them to anyone struggling with getting work done sometimes it’s good to just have something in your hand to take off the stress! I am also going to have to try doing some skills to work on falling asleep earlier because a con of going down on medicine means it’s harder to sleep in general and before I was on the dosage I was on, I couldn’t sleep at all! Which is an issue I have had since childhood. I’ve also been thinking about writing a blog about different medications I’ve been on and their personal side effects for me just to maybe help anyone struggling with similar issues so they may know where to start. Going away from that topic though I plan on implementing these coping skills to hopefully help me get back on track. I also have only started to learn that sometimes it’s okay to ask for extended deadlines or help of course it can’t be an all the time thing but every now and then is alright when you’re struggling. I learned this after going on a trip and realizing there was no way I could get the work done in the amount of time given so it was one of the first times I asked for more time, and it really helped me. So, for everyone else struggling these are some things I reccomend that I feel could really help everyone. I know it sucks to admit it, but adults are right about sleep and some other tools!

During my Easter break, I found myself sinking into a form of media that (surprisingly) wasn’t Common Side Effects. Alongside that, I realized that I’m starting to regress into the girl I was a few years ago under, what I assume to be, the stress of recently turning 17. That means I’m diving back into the things I liked as a 13 and 14-year-old. One of those includes ENA.

ENA started as an animated series by Joel G on YouTube. ENA is a character inspired by Picasso’s “Girl before a Mirror”. She represents two prominent sides of a person as two separate colors, split down the middle. These colors portray happiness and depression represented by yellow and blue respectively. The yellow side has a male voice (which sparked my love for voice actors that are the opposite gender of the character they’re voicing) and the blue side has a female voice. They both have very dynamic and contrasting tones that I absolutely adore. The series consists of 4 episodes all under 10 minutes (excluding “Temptation Stairway” which is 17 minutes long). All of the characters are incredibly interesting. My favorite, other than ENA, is Moony. She’s ENA’s friend and I just think they’re so cute together.

The ENA series is really high quality, and because of that, episodes took a really long time to release. In between “Temptation Stairway”, released 4 years ago, and “Power of Potluck”, the newest episode, my interest in ENA naturally dropped. I still admired the series and character, I just stopped involving myself in the media as much.

Until ENA: Dream BBQ came out on March 27, 2025 (3 days after my birthday!) and I found out about it relatively quickly. Probably because it was a really anticipated game so a lot of YouTubers and other creators that I follow played it and talked about it. I was quick to jump on the train as well, watching my first play through of it on April 12. Then I watched 3 more play throughs and multiple videos breaking down the plot.

I feel like I’m more than qualified to spoil the whole thing, but I highly encourage others to play it for themselves. It’s free on Steam! So here, I’ll just discuss my favorite things about the game and how much I love the Dream BBQ version of ENA.

This game is very similar to the Youtube series, which already felt like clips of a video game. It feels like a playable episode of ENA and I think that’s the perfect way to translate the series into a game. It’s incredibly surreal and confusing while also being fun and leaving a lot of the story to the audience’s interpretation.

ENA has changed a lot between the YouTube series and the game. Instead of yellow and blue, she’s white and red. The different sides of her even have different names, white is “meanie” and red is “salesman”! She even has a cute little hat. I still have a lot of love for the old ENA, the yellow and blue color combination brings back a lot of good memories, but Dream BBQ ENA is definitely my favorite.

I think my second favorite character is Froggy – a Japanese speaking man in a huge frog costume. He has so much personality and he’s very expressive. He even has an amazing ringtone when he calls you! I’m considering making it my own ringtone…

One of my (many) favorite parts of the game is when ENA, who you’re playing as, enters the “Lost Village” and knocks on the doors of the houses in the area until she finds the right one. Each house that isn’t the right one disappears with a unique animation and I just think that’s really funny. It’s also just fun to see all the different animations, it makes me hope to never find the right house just to see the animations.

Even though the anticipation for this game was high (to my understanding), it’s not as popular as I thought it would’ve been. Compared to the traction the ENA series received, the game has received a surprisingly little amount of attention. But that just makes the fan content a lot more special. Some of those TikTok editors make videos that seriously look like trailers for the game! 

All of this to say, I really love ENA: Dream BBQ. I think everyone should play it or watch someone else play it because some of the biggest YouTubers that have played it only have half of a million views as I’m writing – which sounds like a lot but compared to the series’ combined view count of 47.5 million, it’s not!