Guys I want this blog to just kind of be a good send off. It’s the last blog of the year and being at the Mississippi School of the Arts has just taught me so much. Going to this school has made me more independent, driven me to work harder, and just overall taught helped me excel in areas where I once was mediocre or less than. I will not be returning to this school next year, but I still am so thankful that I got to attend for even a year and learn as much as I have. I have made a great circle of friends this year that I plan on trying to keep in touch with and I have a great roomate who I got along very well with. Of course, I’ve also had some rocky moments here like navigating having to be so independent and having to learn how to control some of my symptoms. That is okay though in my opinion that’s what growing up and learning is. I am not excited to leave (mostly because of all the packing we have to do) and I’m going to start a new chapter of my life back at home. I plan on getting a job and going back to my old school where I will likely only have two classes a day and then I will work when I’m not in school and will go back to my home gym which I miss dearly. It’s almost like coming home to a new world so I’m also excited for that I think it will all go well even if it seems a bit scary right now. I will have things I especially miss and things not as much. Like having to take my medicine at certain times at night and being on such a strict schuedle. But I will obviously miss my friends and how funny all of them are! That’s all for my up’s and downs though and I can’t wait to use my knowledge learned in the future.
Category: Junior Literary
This category features the works of junior literary students at Mississippi School of the Arts.
Watching Change in Real Time
I’m so glad I finally have it in me to make a creative blog again. My past seven blogs have been embarrassingly uncreative and, rather than the soul, they came from my brain and ego under the desire to tell people about myself and what I like.
I recently turned seventeen. As soon as midnight arrived, I felt this deeply rooted fear come out and, over a month later, it still hasn’t left. I know I’m young, so there should be nothing to worry about. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. Yet all I can do is worry and, I think, that’s a sign that I’m growing up.
If anyone from the generations that raised me (Baby Boomers and Generation X) read this, they would probably laugh at everything I’m about to discuss. Growing up with people significantly older than me started this ideology that I shouldn’t worry about adult things and just focus on being young, but now that I’m inching closer to becoming a legal adult, no one has told me to stop worrying. Actually, I think most people in my life are unknowingly encouraging my anxiety with all the talk about college and jobs and don’t even get me started on a future family.
It’s all a big mess that I just have to turn my head away from because I can’t clean it up or walk away from it. I’m too young to tackle those problems head on, but I’m too old to not worry about it. So I’m in this dreadful in-between period, just trying to distract myself from the slowly approaching tsunami of stress.
Recently, I’ve taken my mental health very seriously. I’ve been observing myself like a friend: predicting my own actions, keeping track of my worries, and even counseling myself. I have three, going on four, planners/calendars. I still end up needing extra help, though. I feel like I can’t even catch a break.
With my birthday, grades of college classes, regular classes, and arts classes, and relationships with people, this last semester has completely knocked me down, stomped on me, rolled me into a ditch, threw a bunch of trash on me, and then I’m still expected to get up, dust myself off, and buckle in for an extremely busy summer break.
“But I believe in myself,” I say to myself, knowingly lying. “I can do it. Nothing I haven’t done before!” *extreme eye twitching*
This blog was originally supposed to be a sweet reflection of my junior year, but the more I write, the more I realize I’m so glad it’s over. Usually, I would say I’m not ready to be a senior and I’m afraid to grow up. But right now? I can’t wait to be free from my shackles. The sad thing is, I already know that summertime will put on a fresh, new set of shackles right on these weary wrists until I enter my senior year. Then it’s like I’m switching shackles again.
I know right now is a difficult time for me, and I know senior year will also be difficult. But I hope I can find the joy in… wearing shackles. I’ve worked incredibly hard to discover my weaknesses and aid them over the past few months, and I can only hope I care about myself this much in the upcoming months.
I will admit: I’m very thankful for my junior year at MSA. I think this has been one of the best moments of my life. I’m very grateful for all of my friends and teachers and even myself. I’ve gone through a lot of self discovery and I can definitely feel myself developing into a young adult.
It’s a strange process and it’s even stranger to physically and mentally feel it. It’s easier to let time pass then look back and think, “Wow, I’ve changed a lot!” but it’s so incredibly weird to look in the mirror and say, “Hey, I’m changing. Like, right now.”
I hope I’m able to write a sweeter blog when I return for senior year or maybe even as I graduate. Maybe then, I’ll be emotionally recharged enough to cry over the fact that the biggest chapter in my life is about to come to an end.
Wish me luck over the summer! If you’re wondering, I’ll just share all of my plans here. In June alone, I plan to attend a week-long writer’s workshop and then go to the beach immediately after and then visit family for another few days. I also plan to go camping, get my driver’s license, deep clean the entire house, renovate the backyard, and on top of all of that, take Spanish 1 and 2 as college classes.
To any of my peers that are planning a busy summer, I wish you the best. And if you’re clearing your entire schedule for summer to rot in your room, I wish you well too. I can’t wait to see how much I’ve changed by the time I return to MSA, and I can’t wait to see my soon-to-be seniorly peers!
Blog 18
First off, I just want to say that this year has been amazing. I never would have expected it to end so fast, but here we are. It feels surreal how fast the times have come and gone, but it also feels like a victory. When I first got here, I was super scared of what being a literary major would be like. I knew I liked to write and build my own characters, but I was terrified of sharing my work. It was fine when I was just reading stuff to my mom but reading my work to complete strangers was definitely a challenge for me.
Besides that, I was also scared that I would not be good enough. When I first got here, I lacked confidence when it came to writing, and I felt it was because of the change in environment. As many people know, coming to MSA is a very big change.
However, I’ve realized that it wasn’t a bad change. I’ve learned about my art, and I’ve learned a lot about other people’s art too. I’ve learned about character building and descriptions and details and the ways it can make a story flourish. I’ve learned other very important and crucial writing tips to carry with me on my writing journey. I’ve also had the opportunity to see growth in my writing, my communication skills, my social skills, and confidence.
I’m thankful that I’ve had the opportunity to share and connect with different people. It’s such a blessing to be educated on something that I love (most of the time). I’m also excited about the summer and what it might look like. Saturday is going to be my first job interview, and I can’t wait to see what my summer workplace is going to be. It’s an agriculture center in my town, which works perfectly for me because I love everything about science and nature. I also thought it might be good to check out certain fields. Especially since my senior year is right around the corner.
Besides working, I do plan to rest too. I want to make sure I am getting proper rest, especially since I’ve been heavily neglecting my sleep schedule during these past few months. Of course, it has everything to do with me, so I am taking matters into my own hands this summer by going to bed at nine o’clock every night. I’m not letting anybody talk me out of it.
Something else I’m looking forward to this summer is a weekly camping trip I do with my friends every year. It’s super fun and it gives us an opportunity to get out of our houses and meet new people. I’m so excited about it, and I’m also excited to meet with my friends again on a weekly basis. I feel like I haven’t talked to any of them since coming to MSA, so it would be nice to see them more often. I hope you guys have also had a positive experience at MSA and I hope to see you next year!
Excerpt from Drawn (something I worked on)
“You have been drawn,” are a few of many words on the page. I can’t stop reading those four words. I can’t stop thinking, “I’m going to die.” I’m going to lose everything I care for. No one has survived. They can say they have all they want, but no survivor has been seen. I can’t believe I’m next. Why won’t my legs move? They feel so heavy. I need them to get to the door.
“Parker?” my mom calls from the driveway.
“Parker, what’s going on?” my dad asks standing next to her.
“They… they drew me,” is all I can mutter back.
My mother fell to her knees after hearing those words. It’s crazy how big of an effect just a few words can cause. Thes words cause me to stand frozen and cause my mom to weep on the ground and cause my dad to stand there trying to figure out what to do.
About two years ago, the U.S. Government implemented a draft like plan. Every month, a handful of people would be drawn basically from a hat. If you are drawn, you are forced to have this experimental surgery. The surgery is supposed to help the government get a better understanding of this new biotechnology. Apparently, it’s supposed to revolutionize the way we live. Once used, it’s supposed to change everything. But the problem is, they won’t tell us anything about it. What it is, what it does, why we want it. Nothing. `
Everyone who gets drawn goes and never comes back. They always tell us that people survive all the time, but that is just a lie. My uncle got drawn in the first year. When he didn’t return, they told us he survived a moved somewhere else. Then every week we would receive letters from him saying how good his life was now and how his “enhancement” makes everything so much better. The problem was, he didn’t really talk to us much. So, why was he sending us letters.
After many moments of crying and silece, we all decided to walk back inside. My dad holds my mom as she continues to cry. He carries her through the door where he lets go of her so she can go to the couch.
“What do I do?” I ask.
“What can you do?” my dad answers. This makes my mom weep even harder.
“But I’m not ready to die,”
“You won’t. Your uncle survived. I’m sure it’s going to be fine,” he tells me.
“We haven’t seen him since he left for the surgery. We have no idea if those letters are even from him,” I yell.
“I’ve told you time and time again, stop saying that! My brother is alive, and you know that. You will survive. We will have you back. There’s nothing for you to do,” says my dad.
“No, I have to go. I have to run. Y’all have to take me somewhere. I can’t risk this. My whole life will go away,”
“Run where? They’re going to find you no matter what. You have to do this. We will not let you run from this. For once in your life, you need to be responsible,” he yells at me.
I look at my mom to see if she is willing to help. Our eyes connect, but she looks away. That was all I needed to see to know that she was on his side. At that moment I knew that I couldn’t stay there. My own parents weren’t willing to help save me. So, now I must go to a place where I can get help.
Six months ago, not long after my uncle was drawn, I was taken to the police station after stealing a few things from a clothing store. Though I’ve been there a few more times since then, that was my very first time being arrested. I’m not sure why I steal. My parents don’t really support me in the way that I need them to. Maybe it’s for attention. Maybe it’s for freedom. I can normally get out of trouble easily, though. I’m a good liar. I use the young and stupid excuse all the time. It works like a charm.
Accepting Change
My plan for my last blog was to finish my “To Pimp A Butterfly” trilogy and send you all off with a little goodbye to my junior year lol, but I wasn’t able to because I underestimated how much time we actually had left. Spoiler alert, the last three songs of that album are very important. It ends on the note of acceptance, self-love, and dedication. So, now that I am unable to, I decided to just be a little personal on this one. My blogs are never really about me, but things that I enjoy or remember, and I am glad that I found that consistent theme, but that isn’t the point of this.
Coming to MSA may have been the biggest change but best decision of my entire life. Though I’ve had my ups and downs, I have lived more this year than I have my entire life. I’ve never felt like a teenager before. I’ve spent so many of my years envious of other kids who got to live the life I wanted, but that isn’t the point either. The point is that I came here and really lived. I’ve lost friends and made friends, and I’ve begun to find myself because I’ve never really known myself. So, the one thing I was doing while experiencing this euphoria, is plan my summer.
I think I’ve been planning my summer since November, and when I got my car those plans actually came into play. My summer has been a thing that changes all the time last second, and I really wanted to do something different this year. I plan to get a tattoo for my birthday, and it’ll be a jellyfish cause they’re so cool, and they stand for transformation and healing! I’ll have my party in my hometown with all my new friends before I leave the state to stay with my grandma. I planned to go to comic con for the first time, but I probably won’t have time sighh. I want to get a job at the mall and meet new people. In all of my years of going back and forth between home and my grandma’s house, I’ve never had any real friends there, so of course I choose almost last minute to do that lol.
These have been the thoughts that keep me going through the year when everything gets to be too much. I think of what my senior year will be like when I see new juniors navigating their way around here. It’ll be different to be the senior, and it’ll be different to see so many people I know just gone and replaced with others. I also think about my senior year and being surrounded by my bestest friends once again. It almost makes me sad to imagine that we’ll be apart for so long. But it makes me happy that these random people that I talked to one day are so much more important to me now and it makes me excited to meet new people soon!
I want to stay optimistic and keep my head held up high as I experience the changes of going from not only a junior to senior, but a 16-year-old to a 17-year-old. I just found out I was the youngest of most of my friends and it makes me so scared to hear my friends talk about how much different it is to transition between ages. Growing up is the most terrifying thing in my life. And I remember being so much younger and being ecstatic about being an adult, and now I’m almost there and I just wanna go back. But I try to think of it like this: It’s my last year as a child, and I want to live it like it’s the last days of my life.
I know this seems very dramatic for just the end of junior year, I mean I’ll be here again in about two months, but I guess it’s the thoughts of moving onto a different phase in my life that’s getting me more than anything.
I hope someone can read this and feel a little bit better if you’re as scared of change as I am, and I hope that everyone has a fantastic summer.

Remembrance: Packing Up
The day that I’m writing this, May 1st, marks the last go-home weekend of the year, meaning that I don’t have much time left to move out of my dorm room here at MSA. I hate packing. Like hate, hate it. For multiple reasons, I think. I’ve only had to pack up and move 4 times in my life before coming to MSA. Mostly, I hate it because it lifts up dust, which in turn aggravates my allergies, but also, I hate packing because it symbolizes things ending. Some people think of it as peaceful, a methodical collecting of things and appreciating them, but I don’t and I’m not sure I ever will. For me it’s always a hectic and depressing game of Tetris, which items will fit where and how many can I shove in boxes without breaking anything, while also thinking about leaving the space. It’s sad for me because I have to wash a space that has been mine for so long of me. I have to put everything away, wipe off all the dust, and turn out the lights at the end, which scares me a little, I’ll be honest. It also comes from a fear of change. If nothing changes then nothing can ever end. But one piece of advice that actually helped, although it almost made me cry, came from one of my seniors, Cooper Brumfield. He came in my room trying to trade food, even though I didn’t have anything. I had almost cried twice packing up my stuff a few moments earlier, and I told him that, but he asked if he could give me a piece of advice. I said sure, and to my surprise, Cooper quite literally closed the door. For a second, I’d thought he left, but he opened the door again and said “I’ll never see that exact version of you again. That’s the beauty of being alive is we’re always changing.” Spoken like a true literary, right? I’m not going to pretend that I’m not what people would call a crybaby, because I am, but I also have a problem with that term. Why should those who feel their emotions readily and in the fullest be shamed for it? So I guess I’m happy to be a crybaby, and boy did that make me cry a little. I know I’m most likely coming back next year, but I can’t help but mourn how it is now, and I know it’ll never be the same. The seniors that I’ve lived with and that have come to matter so much to me are leaving. But this isn’t all bad. They’re going off to do great things, and by this time next year I hope I will be too. I know it’s always going to end, but it never makes it any less sad. The fact that I feel like I’ve finally found a place I belong definitely makes this harder, because that place is changing and won’t ever be the same. Of course it’ll still look the same, but the energy is changing. Anyways, enough of my pouting. If any seniors are reading this, thank you for being here, and I’m going to miss you.
Much love,
Jude ♡♡♡
My Favorite (Actually Niche) Youtubers
I wasn’t sure what I wanted my last blog of the year to be, but I thought I’d leave you all with some recommendations for youtubers I love and watch all the time. There won’t be a specific order to this list, and these creators will range from a couple thousand subscribers to a million or so, but they are all under-appreciated and deserve more attention. They will also range drastically in what their content is about- some commentary and reaction channels, some movie/media reviewers, some who craft and sew, and even more. I highly recommend you check out these creators over the summer!
1. Kennie JD

I’ve been watching Kennie since quarantine- probably late 2019 into 2020 was when I really found her. She’s been on youtube for at least 12 years. For the first five years, she mainly posted about makeup and storytimes, but, in September of 2019, she found a new niche. She posted a video about the movie Tall Girl, joking about the plot and dramatics over a girl being tall- as if tall women are oppressed or something. Kennie herself is six foot and talks a lot about her own experiences in the video, which made it more immersive. She started a series called “Bad Movies and a Beat”, where she does her makeup while reacting to or giving her review of a bad movie. Sometimes she’ll switch it up with “Good Movies and a Glam”, where she does the same as before, but discusses a good movie instead. I tend to have similar opinions to her when it comes to movies and plot lines, so it’s nice to see someone else experiencing the same confusion I have when watching a certain movie. I also love learning about movies through her videos. She is extremely funny and I highly recommend going to check out her stuff. She talks about many types of movies; from rom coms to horror/thrillers to dramas to cheesy christmas movies. She also reviews reality TV shows sometimes. Her most recent videos have been her reacting to old 2000s reality TV and they are extremely funny. She’s also an extremely talented singer- check out her spotify!!
2. Micarah Tewers

I found Micarah about a year before quarantine, I believe. She is one of the most popular people on this list, with over 2 million followers, but I rarely see people talking about her. She’s been on youtube for at least 8 years now, consistently posting videos of her making costumes and clothing with fast paced and comedic tutorials that no one is necessarily intended to follow. Her videos almost always have a vlog-feel to them, even if they aren’t explicitly a vlog. She has pet parrots, chickens, and ducks who appear in many of her videos. There always seems to be a side-plot to each video where she has to rescue a wild animal or help her dad with something or prank her brother or visit her best friend. She’s extremely funny and there is never a dull moment in her videos. Even if you don’t like sewing or crafting, you will have fun with her channel.
3. Sarah Spaceman

I found Sarah almost two years ago. She really brought back my love for cosplay and cosplay conventions with her video series on how she made this extremely complex cosplay and then went to compete in it at a huge convention. She’s extremely talented and I’ve learned a lot about crafting and sewing through her videos. I also love her vlogs where she goes to conventions as the cons she attends are huge and expensive cons that I won’t be able to go to anytime soon, so I get to live vicariously through her videos. Once again, even if you don’t like sewing or cosplay, you will be entertained by her content.
4. Izzyzzz

I believe I also found Izzy over quarantine, though I’m not sure. Their videos are primarily about nostalgic events, people, websites, and fandoms from the 2000s-2010s. Their deep dives on the video game The Path is where I discovered my love for that game and obscure media in general. They is extremely good at their research, and their videos are always very interesting both visually and auditorily. They always makes sure to give the full context for events and fandom discourse, which helps give an honest and neutral view of the topics being discussed. I highly recommend their videos about the brony history, their deep dive into Animal Crossing, and their deep dive into the Norm of the North twitter account. They’re also working on an animated series right now, so go check that out too!
5. Reilly Elaina

I found Reilly a few months back when I was trying to figure out why everyone on tik tok was mad at a certain creator. Reilly has only been posting for three months, but I predict her account will blow up in the next year or so. She has an extremely soft voice that is really satisfying to listen to (I know how weird that sounds, but I put her videos on in the background while I’m playing Stardew Valley and it’s really satisfying??). She mainly discusses internet discourse, typically things going down actively online. She does extreme deep dives and cites all her sources, which I applaud. She also gives really interesting perspectives to discourse topics that are more ignored/less talked about. For example, she has BPD and talks openly about it and how there are many creators with BPD on tik tok who are spreading misinformation about the disorder and further stigmatizing BPD. You should go give her a follow!
6. Trin Lovell

Another GOAT I found over quarantine. Trin does movie reactions/reviews, but she is extremely funny and out of pocket with her takes and she isn’t afraid to share said opinions. She will pause the movie to go on a fifteen minute rant about the scene and I will listen to the whole thing, nodding along to every word. My favorite series of hers is when she watches the best and worst rated episode of every season of Glee. She is also a self described scaredy-cat and had a series called “The Girl who’s Scared of Everything Watches [insert horror movie]”. Her reactions are very funny and I really enjoy her perspective of the movies she watches, even if I don’t always agree. She’s very entertaining and I highly recommend you go watch her reactions to horror movies if there’s ever a movie you’re too scared to watch alone.
7. Aust

I had to include a gamer here somewhere. I found Aust a few months ago, maybe closer to half a year. He posts longform videos of him playing (mostly) vanilla minecraft. I found him through his 100 Days in Harcore Minecraft series. He’s very funny and also extremely talented and it’s so cool to see everything he can accomplish in a minecraft world. He also has a really calm voice, which is a drastic contrast to a lot of minecraft youtubers. He really reminds me of gamerboy80, my favorite minecraft player of all time. They’re both really chill and really talented dudes who are way too good at minecraft. Go check him out if you like minecraft, or gaming in general.
8. Emma artly

I’m going to be real with you, I’ve only watched one of Emma’s videos all the way through, and it was her deep dive on the MLP youtube fan series “Bride of Discord”. She’s been posting for over two years and her channel has a mix of speedpaints, art tutorials, and commentaries on her interests. Her art style is adorable- kinda a mix of animal crossing, human MLP, and popular fan artists of the 2010s. I feel really nostalgic watching her videos. She’s also very funny, her commentary is really insightful, and I love hearing about topics and niche fandom events that I wouldn’t otherwise have known about.
9. Muldered

I found Muldered the other weekend while I was cleaning my room. I was looking for another deep dive video to throw on in the background while I cleaned, and I found his video about The Minerva Alliance; an analog horror series on youtube that was created by a number of popular analog horror creators. I love analog horror and supporting smaller artists on youtube, so I’m always down to watch their videos or listen to someone give a deep dive on the universe that their videos exist in. As I explored Muldered’s account, I found that his native language is Russian and he uses that to translate Russian analog horror series for his primarily English-speaking audience. I thought this was so cool and have been watching his videos a lot more since, as I love that I’m able to learn about a whole side of analog horror that I would never have been able to before because of the language barrier. He also has great comedic timing and I highly encourage giving him a watch if you also love analog horror.
10. Night Mind

Night Mind has grown in popularity over the years, especially within the analog horror/online horror fan communities. I’ve been watching him for maybe two years at this point and I love everything he puts out. I found him when I was searching for deep dives on the Marble Hornets series, which was a part of the internet that I grew up with but never really engaged with. His videos are extremely insightful and he gives productive critiques to the artists who create the analog horror he reviews. He also works with his community to find really small and under rated channels so he can bring attention to their art and share their creativity with his audience. His passion when talking about a piece he loves will never fail to make me smile. I can tell how much he cares about the art, writing, and filming, as well as all the work that goes into a good piece of analog horror. He’s extremely kind and fosters an amazing community with his followers, something that can be rare amongst youtubers these days. I highly encourage checking him out, his videos are amazing and definitely worth the watch.
Thank you for reading! I hope you check out one or more of these creators, and I hope you have an amazing summer. This year was fantastic and I can’t wait to see you all, plus some juniors, next year!
Marvel Rival Characters I want in the game
Wiccan

I feel like Wiccan as a support would be top tier especially with his portals and his healing zones. Like he could be a mix of Wanda and Dr. Strange and what would be really good is if he can change his attacks between different elements. If he does come to Marvel Rivals, I will be using only him Religiously. though he would be a 5 star.
Deadpool

he would be the best dps I don’t care what anyone says about him being a strategist that doesn’t even make sense since he can’t heal others, and he uses swords. he would be a great anti heal though and a passive where he heals himself would be chiefs kiss. Also there need to be a team up with him and Spidey maybe one with him and jeff.

Night Crawler

to be completely honest I don’t know much about him except the fact he can teleport (want to buy comics of him but don’t know where to start). He would be a crazy DPS as well especially if he can share his teleporting with black panther or Wanda (they dated) plus I think he looks super cool.
Rouge

there are some debates on rather or not she should be a tank or support, and, in my opinion, she is a tank but only because she has high durability in the comics because of captain marvel. she has to fly though because it wouldn’t be rogue if she couldn’t fly and one of her abilities has to be if she can copy someone Elses even if it’s just for a few seconds. She should have a team up with wolverine and Gambit if he comes.

Luke Cage

we desperately need more Black people in the game and Luke cage is the goat. He should be able to go bulletproof like Emma frost diamond form and he should be able to throw huge rock at people. I felt like he should be a tank, but I think he is going to feel like a dps as well like reed but reverse it. I wouldve3 suggested a team up between spiderman and Ironfist but that’s not the iron fist everyone knows and loves plus he doesn’t need any more damage.
Dealing with end of the year burnout
I don’t even know if I can classify what I’m having as burnout or just ready for the school year to be over. I think many people are feeling the same strain right now where they just want things to come to a closing point. I am doing well in all of my classes but turning in work on deadlines is getting harder and harder and I just keep wondering when is it going to end! I also thing I’m just regressing though as I find myself listening to more melancholy music and not using my coping skills to my fullest ability. So, I plan to put more boundaries in place to try and get back on track first off, I am slowly going down on a medicine that was making me too tired to really do any of my work on time. I am going back to using these squishy things I use to calm down (Lol) and I really recommend them to anyone struggling with getting work done sometimes it’s good to just have something in your hand to take off the stress! I am also going to have to try doing some skills to work on falling asleep earlier because a con of going down on medicine means it’s harder to sleep in general and before I was on the dosage I was on, I couldn’t sleep at all! Which is an issue I have had since childhood. I’ve also been thinking about writing a blog about different medications I’ve been on and their personal side effects for me just to maybe help anyone struggling with similar issues so they may know where to start. Going away from that topic though I plan on implementing these coping skills to hopefully help me get back on track. I also have only started to learn that sometimes it’s okay to ask for extended deadlines or help of course it can’t be an all the time thing but every now and then is alright when you’re struggling. I learned this after going on a trip and realizing there was no way I could get the work done in the amount of time given so it was one of the first times I asked for more time, and it really helped me. So, for everyone else struggling these are some things I reccomend that I feel could really help everyone. I know it sucks to admit it, but adults are right about sleep and some other tools!
ENA: Dream BBQ
During my Easter break, I found myself sinking into a form of media that (surprisingly) wasn’t Common Side Effects. Alongside that, I realized that I’m starting to regress into the girl I was a few years ago under, what I assume to be, the stress of recently turning 17. That means I’m diving back into the things I liked as a 13 and 14-year-old. One of those includes ENA.
ENA started as an animated series by Joel G on YouTube. ENA is a character inspired by Picasso’s “Girl before a Mirror”. She represents two prominent sides of a person as two separate colors, split down the middle. These colors portray happiness and depression represented by yellow and blue respectively. The yellow side has a male voice (which sparked my love for voice actors that are the opposite gender of the character they’re voicing) and the blue side has a female voice. They both have very dynamic and contrasting tones that I absolutely adore. The series consists of 4 episodes all under 10 minutes (excluding “Temptation Stairway” which is 17 minutes long). All of the characters are incredibly interesting. My favorite, other than ENA, is Moony. She’s ENA’s friend and I just think they’re so cute together.

The ENA series is really high quality, and because of that, episodes took a really long time to release. In between “Temptation Stairway”, released 4 years ago, and “Power of Potluck”, the newest episode, my interest in ENA naturally dropped. I still admired the series and character, I just stopped involving myself in the media as much.

Until ENA: Dream BBQ came out on March 27, 2025 (3 days after my birthday!) and I found out about it relatively quickly. Probably because it was a really anticipated game so a lot of YouTubers and other creators that I follow played it and talked about it. I was quick to jump on the train as well, watching my first play through of it on April 12. Then I watched 3 more play throughs and multiple videos breaking down the plot.
I feel like I’m more than qualified to spoil the whole thing, but I highly encourage others to play it for themselves. It’s free on Steam! So here, I’ll just discuss my favorite things about the game and how much I love the Dream BBQ version of ENA.

This game is very similar to the Youtube series, which already felt like clips of a video game. It feels like a playable episode of ENA and I think that’s the perfect way to translate the series into a game. It’s incredibly surreal and confusing while also being fun and leaving a lot of the story to the audience’s interpretation.

ENA has changed a lot between the YouTube series and the game. Instead of yellow and blue, she’s white and red. The different sides of her even have different names, white is “meanie” and red is “salesman”! She even has a cute little hat. I still have a lot of love for the old ENA, the yellow and blue color combination brings back a lot of good memories, but Dream BBQ ENA is definitely my favorite.

I think my second favorite character is Froggy – a Japanese speaking man in a huge frog costume. He has so much personality and he’s very expressive. He even has an amazing ringtone when he calls you! I’m considering making it my own ringtone…

One of my (many) favorite parts of the game is when ENA, who you’re playing as, enters the “Lost Village” and knocks on the doors of the houses in the area until she finds the right one. Each house that isn’t the right one disappears with a unique animation and I just think that’s really funny. It’s also just fun to see all the different animations, it makes me hope to never find the right house just to see the animations.
Even though the anticipation for this game was high (to my understanding), it’s not as popular as I thought it would’ve been. Compared to the traction the ENA series received, the game has received a surprisingly little amount of attention. But that just makes the fan content a lot more special. Some of those TikTok editors make videos that seriously look like trailers for the game!
All of this to say, I really love ENA: Dream BBQ. I think everyone should play it or watch someone else play it because some of the biggest YouTubers that have played it only have half of a million views as I’m writing – which sounds like a lot but compared to the series’ combined view count of 47.5 million, it’s not!