Old Soul

                                                        Hello Lovelies!  

  Today we’re going back to the good ole days! Chacha cha (Imagine me saying that like Grunkle Stan).  Anyway, today I’m discussing the elite and OG detective, and mystery shows that I’m pretty sure none of you youngsters have watched or even heard of (Please take no offense, I’m joking I promise.)       I’m not ranking them, just going down the list and explaining what each of them are and what makes them the best in my opinion.   Also yes, I’ve actually watched these.  




I love this dude, he’s so chill.  I’ll tell you why later.  Matlock is an elderly criminal defense attorney played by Andy Griffith, meaning he represents the “guilty.”  At least the people who are accused of committing the acts.   He solves these cases with his daughter and one of his colleagues who have the best dynamic, they’re so cute.  Together they run around with each other and find evidence that proves the defendant’s innocence.                                                                         If I’m describing to someone the format of each show, it would always start with someone unknown committing a crime, it’s either a shadow the audience sees or a voice the audience hears that’s committing it.  We never know, but what we do see is the victims, then the next day Matlock is getting called by the starring suspect of the show, to be proven innocent.  For the most part of the series, Matlock has only had innocent suspects, but one of my favorite episodes is when Matlock actually gets a guilty woman who manipulates him into making viewing her innocent.  She really thought she had him, but she forgot with age comes experience, and Matlock knew how to win her game and put the actual suspect in jail.   The episode is called “The Accused” and that’s something I could get into if I didn’t watch a single Matlock episode at all.   Matlock also gets brownie points because half of the time his clients don’t pay him with money, they pay him with food which is why I love him. 




  Monk is also an American crime drama series.  Unlike Matlock, it follows events in the main characters’ storyline as they go through handling the cases.  Adrian Monk is comical, but not in the way you might think, he’s not “Haha” funny, he’s more on the side of “You’re so smart but is so ridiculous” side.  Monk is a former detective with an obsessive-compulsive disorder who consults with the police.   His disorder is a huge impact in the show, because it helps him solve mostly all of the cases with the police.  But, while it’s helpful it’s also very annoying for the people who work with him because they have to make sure everything is clean before he investigates it, or they would have to crawl in dirty places that need to be looked at because he refused to do it.   I mean it’s so serious that the running joke of the show is that Monk only drinks one type of water.  It’s Sierra Springs Water, that’s the only water he drinks.  He doesn’t even drink his own filtered tap water.  I’m not judging, but everyone in the series does judge.  Like seriously, he got stopped at the border because he was taking 2 full suitcases of Sierra Springs water to Mexico.  Just thinking about it is making me giggle, I know someone similar to this, but Monk is a whole other story.    The show also is top notch because the theme song is by Randy Newman or known to some of the younger people as the Toy Story guy.  “It’s a Jungle Out There” is so catchy and many people agree because it won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Main Title Theme Music according to Google.  So, yea, it’s really great in my opinion.  






 My Grandma did it to me.   This was just something she had on all the time, that I became so engrossed in it.   First and foremost, she had a crush on James Arness who played Matt Dillon and secondly, she used to “rest her eyes” while this played and would jump out of her skin when me and my sisters would try to change this channel.   So, after the point of her waking up fully, she’ll play this for like, 72 hours straight.  I’ll be back at my mom’s house and still hear that playing from the 40 minutes away drive.  With that being said: Gunsmoke is set during the settlement of the American West and the main protagonist is sheriff Marshal Matt Dillon, he’s the keeper of everything in Dodger City.  If there’s a robbery, he solves it, if a mom is going on a killing spree while her estranged daughter is away, he knows about it, if there’s a man getting drunk after his best friend killed the drunk man’s wife, Matt can help that man be clean again while catching the murderer.  Also, these are some of the many episodes I watched.   Even though the show was in black and white, and had some poor graphics, I loved it.  The acting was good, and I loved Matt Dillon’s compassion.   One episode, he tried to help these kids save their father who was falsely accused of a murder.  The man was going to be executed, leaving behind his young son and daughter, but Matt wasn’t going to let that happen.  He worked really hard to solve a case that wasn’t even in his jurisdiction.  The show was beautiful.  This is why, it’s one of the elites for me. It was just that good.  


                                                      Walker Texas Ranger 


“The eye of the ranger.  The oh so helpful stranger.  Who better knows the truth from wrong and right.”  Or something like that, I really never knew the exact lyrics.  I just remember my siblings and I going around singing this to each other, right lyrics or not.   Walker Texas Ranger is one of the shows that I started watching by myself without the influence of my grandmother.  I stumbled upon it one day when there was nothing to watch and note this was during the times when Chiller existed and all they played were reruns, so you had to scavenger hunt on the DirecTV channel for a good show.  I just had it on for background noise while I did my homework, when I heard gunshots.  Wondering what was going on I looked at my TV and noticed some guys fighting with kicks and all that.  So, to say, it caught my attention.   I watched this show probably up until I was in the 8th grade I think, but that’s because my mom switched to Roku, and we got some streaming channels.  It was great.   Oh yea, and the plot is similar to the modern day Gunsmoke, and it’s inspired by the film Lone Wolf McQuade. 


                        That’s it, thanks for going down memory lane with me. 

Spotify Wrapped

So for this week’s blog, I wanted to talk about My spotify wrapped, I thought it would be fun to share some of the weird tastes I have in music. So I’ll list my top five songs that I listened to, and for how many minutes, and stuff like that.

So in order of least to greatest of my top 5


 #5 Fifteen Minutes – Mike Kroll

This one Wasn’t much of a surprise, I Listened to it on repeat for a while.
I mainly got into this song by playing a dating sim on my computer called Monster Prom. This song was used as the Outro to that game. 
Not to mention that Mike Kroll has been used in Steven Universe quite a bit I think. I Listened to his entire “I Hate Jazz” album, and have to say that I didn’t find many songs that I didn’t like. 

#4 Just Give Me One More Day – Alej


This song is amazing, I don’t think I could recommend it enough.  Its purely just piano, no vocals or anything else, but my goodness, its outstanding. I listened to this on repeat while reading “The Giver” and it just made reading that much better. I found the song on an Instagram reel, and it took me quite a while to find the name of the song, but once I found it I added it to my Playlist and have listened to it daily. 

I’ve learned that my music taste mainly consists of: Classical, Classic Rock, and Indie Rock. Other than that I just listen to podcasts. 
This next one might be a little weird so bare with me. 

#3 Theme From The Amazing Digital Circus
(Piano Version) – NPT Music

So if any of you know the Amazing Digital Circus, you might recognize this, but for those of you who don’t, “The amazing digital circus” is basically an indie short animation. I watched it a few months ago, and I really enjoyed it, and what I enjoyed more was the music, so I looked up the soundtrack, and found one that was on piano, and saved it. I recommend both the song and the animation if you haven’t seen it. 

#2 Merry Go Round of Life – Andy Morris 

So, this is another classical, pure piano, song that I’ve been obsessed with. 
Some of you may recognize it, if not, it’s from a Studio Ghibli movie called
“Howls Moving Caste” I highly recommend the movie, and the song. 
Theres not much more to say about this one. 

#1 At Dooms Gates – DOOM 64x 

I’m a huge fan of the DOOM series, I’ve watched videos explaining the lore, (but only played two of the games.) But nevertheless, Its one of my favorite games. Especially because of its soundtrack. It mainly comprises of Heavy metal Guitar and drums, but sometimes it adds a little extra. This song specifically was my favorite though. 

At the beginning of the school year, I played this song on repeat for about a week, (Not an exaggeration.) I played it over and over again. I don’t know about any of you, but with me, when I’m in a new environment I like something that I can predict. So, I guess that I just played the same song on repeat because it was something I knew. That may be a dumb way of explaining it but that’s how I made it make sense in my head.  

Anyways, to sum it all up, I’ll just leave how many songs, and how many minutes I had on Spotify this year. 

I played a total of 1,659 different songs this year, with a total of 69,303 minutes. Apparently, that’s 48 days of nonstop music.  
My most listened genre was Indie Rock, and My Most listened band, was Origami Angel which took up 4,711 minutes. It said I’m in the 0.1% fans too. 
Anyways, this year has been a big adventure in my music taste, and I hope it was for all of you Aswell. 

poetry collection p.iii

Technical finale? I had a title for this that was better but I can’t come up with anything better than that.

I’m tired of dead dogs

tw: animal death, gore

Ripping open my skull and feeding it to dogs. They snap frontal to get to my amygdala and feast. Tearing open my liver to feed to hawks and unspooling my veins like spiderweb to feed the mice.

I’m coughing up blood.
I’m tired of running.

I’m being torn apart by dogs and it’s painful but I’m surviving as they tear the flesh from my shoulders. The blood is leaking through my clothes, and I’m sorry. What the hell, I’m sorry.

My body’s giving out so by God, and it’s going to heaven (I think,) so with my last breath, to the dogs that turn up dead under houses, that run underneath and get left on the road, I’m sorry neither of us can do more for heaven on Earth or hell underground and it’s gonna kill us.

They seem proud, but I know they’ll starve
It seems an unfair fate.

She Won’t

crying on her doorstep, her family’s screaming behind a door that’s not thick enough but somehow always thicker than its supposed to be. I give her my coat, it’s no more warming than me

because I know I can’t undo this. I can’t storm inside and make them accept reality accept this.

so we sit on her doorstep, and she cries and weeps and I can’t do anything but hope my coat holds her better than I can

maybe I’m too afraid to say anything. she’s run her throat too dry to speak. There’s a dark feeling in my chest, asking if I’ll lose her, I hope I won’t when she’s my world, but something tells me that’s not my choice. I don’t know anymore.

It’s two am.
Where the hell am I.

What makes Puppet combo so unique

So for this week’s blog there were a couple things that I wanted to talk about. Trying to think of just one had always been something that had proved difficult for me. I could go a more grounded route and talk about how stressed I am about the ACT, or the easier decision of talking about horror games. But I think I have been focusing so much on things that make me negatively anxious, I would say that it is about time to talk about something that made me anxious in a good way. Horror games, or more specifically, one specific creator of horror games, that being puppet combo. So I’m thinking (or at least hoping) that a few of you know what puppet combo games are, but if not I am going to give a short summary. So puppet combo is an indie horror video game creator/producer who has come out with a number of various games in the past year. However, there is something special about this company that puts them apart from others. That being their modern adaptation to a relatively retro style of graphics.

Examples of the graphics:

These graphics are from only three of the various games that puppet combo has come out with.

The first being from their game “bloodwash” the second from a game called “feed me Billy” and finally from a game titled “Murder House” these aren’t just three random games; however, these are among their most popular and successful games. These graphics that are shown aren’t a result of a poor budget or a lackluster producing/coding team, but an intentional choice on the developers’ behalf. This retro and minimalistic style of graphics are meant to induce feelings of not only nostalgia but feelings of fear as well. But what really makes this game so scary is their incredible sound design and use of volume in the games themselves, having not only just loud noises, but an assortment of different terrifying tracks that have been created by developers. And while this is an indie game developing company, this has seen a large amount if success as well as traction, not just from the general audience, but from other small game developers as well, as a result these smaller companies have created a number of different games, one of my favorite games are actually a part of that category. That being a series called fears to fathom.

Images from different additions to the game:

What makes this game unique is that the stories are not created by writers or developers but found off of old subreddits and chat boards on reddit where the user explains their scary experience and developers reach out to them, wishing to turn it into a game. I think that these types of games are so incredible because it proves that you do not need much to create a horrifying environment, and a good horror game.

Oh No..

I should start off by mentioning that during the lockdown, my brother and I got bikes for easter. Mine was baby blue and his was black with orange accents.

This story starts out in the summer of 2020. My best friend, Ava, had come over like she usually did and we were bored. I thought back to this creek at the end of the street and asked if she wanted to go there. She said yes. The only problem was that it was too far to walk. We would have to drive there or ride bikes there. Neither of us could drive and my mom was busy so we couldn’t drive there. We would have rode mine and my brother’s bike there except Ava was too short for my brother’s bike. He was 6’2” and Ava was I think 5’6”. After admitting defeat, I came up with a “brilliant” plan. I had my brother’s old skateboard, my bike, and a cardboard box. (Trust the process). Next, all I needed was some duct tape and rope. (TRUST. THE. PROCESS.). I knew I had some duck tape. I always had duck tape. Don’t ask me why I had a box because I’m not going to tell you (cardboard box house). Next all I needed to get was some rope. I wasn’t sure if we had any rope. I looked through my junk drawer in my room because I usually had some rope laying around. Don’t ask why (I was obsessed with rope when I was little). I didn’t find any rope in my junk drawer so I went to my dads tool supplies which we kept outside. I thought for sure he would have some rope. He didn’t. I ended up settling for some fluffy string I had. No idea why I had it (seriously though, idk man). After I brought back all of the supplies to where Ava was, on the front porch, I got to work. I took the box and duck taped it to the skateboard. Next I tied the skateboard to my bike. (I think you see where this is going.) Next, I took my beautiful creation to the street. Ava got in the box, I got on my bike and started pedaling. The only thing I didn’t account for was when I turned my bike, Ava didn’t. We got about ten feet from where we started before I kept going straight and Ava started tilting to the right. She ended up running into the neighbors red minivan. It was really funny. I was laughing so hard I fell off my bike. I think it’s safe to say we didn’t make it to the creek that day.

Note to those of you who are reading this, don’t be stupid like Ava and me, and crash into your neighbor’s car. Think things through and wear a helmet.


P.S. Ava, if you’re reading this, I’m glad you’re the one who crashed, not me 🙂

Roses Aren’t the Only Love: Talking about being Aromantic


The idea for this type of blog post has come to me, but I’ve always pushed it aside. I think a part of me thought I might be making a big deal out of nothing. However, this blog is about a part of my identity, and after talking with a friend, I realized just how much I have to say. This blog is about my experiences being aromantic: a romantic orientation meaning that I don’t fall in romantic love. Please keep in mind that there are far different experiences other aromantic people have- I do not speak for everyone in the community, I’m merely one person. I hope this post can help spread awareness, and maybe help someone.

The aromantic pride flag


Discovery and Representation

For a long time, I didn’t know what I was. I wanted a label, but all I knew was that I wasn’t straight. It felt wrong to be called straight. I had no idea how to describe what I was, or that being aromantic was a thing- aromantic representation runs extremely thin, and aromantic expression in media is even thinner. Even now, I only find either of those two things when I’m searching for it. There was nothing in my daily life to bring the aromantic label to light.

I tried many different labels. 

“I don’t like men- does that make me a lesbian? Am I lesbian? Or maybe I’m pansexual- maybe I can love everyone, and that makes it harder to find love. Maybe I’m bisexual, and I just haven’t found the right one.”

All of them felt wrong to me, but it was all I had. I had to be something, right? I think the longest label I chose was pansexual, but I distinctly remember being uncomfortable with it.

I don’t remember the video, but I found the word aromantic in a youtube comment. I looked up the word and studied its definition. For me, it was like someone clicked on a light, flushing away the chattering shadows of, “Am I? Am? Am I? Am I?” here, in this label, I found something that felt right. Comfortable, like a reassuring blanket. I found tales of experiences similar to my own, and things started making so much more sense. “Aromantic. That’s me! I am aromantic!” I was lucky to have such an experience.

There was a phase after that, after I came out to my friends, where I referenced being aromantic so much. I was consuming everything I could about it, I was so happy.

But, outside of the aromantic community, there was barely anything that represented being aromantic. Even in the LGBTQ+ community itself, there wasn’t a whole lot. (there’s more there now, thankfully.) The ace-specs know the term much better, but it still makes me feel unknown. Off the top of my head, I can only think of one character in large media that’s obviously aromantic,  Kusuo Saiki, (king) and he’s aromantic-asexual. That’s very valid, shout out to all the aro-aces, the aces, everyone else on the spectrum. I love that there’s at least some representation for the community. However, throughout indie media and larger media, I’ve realized there’s so much more ace representation, and then less but still more, aro-ace representation than only aro representation. I want representation for everyone, but by everyone I mean everyone. If there was more aromantic characters in media, people would better understand what it means to be aromantic, and what comes with it. You can be aromantic but not asexual, you can be asexual but not aromantic, you can be both, you can be other things on the spectrum. (Demiromantic, aegosexual, etc.) If there was more representation, it would make coming out so much easier. It’s hard explain something people know nothing about, and it’s hard to find spaces where you feel welcome. Even in the LGBTQ+ community itself, there’s still people who don’t understand being aromantic, pity being aromantic, or try to wipe it off the radar. Which actually brings me to my next point…

The Pitying of The Aromantic Community

My friend theorized that the reason there’s so little aro representation is because being single is seen as unfulfilling and saddening. In reality, many people, even outside of the aromantic community, don’t need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy or fulfilled. There are other forms of love, and for me, romantic love is less fulfilling than platonic love. Platonic love is the type of love you have with friends and family, and it can be just as strong as romantic love, just… not. You can confide in, cuddle with, and spend half of your time with a platonic friend. Strong bonds aren’t always romantic.

In the past, I dated someone for maybe a year. He was of the opposite gender. He asked me out, and I didn’t know how to respond. I liked spending time with him, and he was a boy, so that meant I liked him, right? I said yes.

When I say nothing changed for me in the relationship, I mean nothing changed. He called me his girlfriend, he got me gifts, we went on dates, and it was fun! But I didn’t realize that all I was feeling was just friendship. There was no change in feelings on my side. Going on dates and getting gifts was because I wanted to spend time with him and thought that was how relationships worked. I feel bad thinking back on it; it feels like I was deceiving him unknowingly. It feels so obvious looking back on it, too. I don’t think the reaction to someone telling you “I think I have a crush on your boyfriend…” is, “Oh. Okay?” And I don’t think you’re supposed to feel weird and anxious saying your boyfriend is your boyfriend. 

I did not see him as my boyfriend,  I saw him as a boy friend, and I didn’t know. 

The time I spend with my friends  as friends feels so much more fulfilling than any time with my ex-boyfriend as a romantic partner. Movie dates where I’m wondering how to make romantic  relationships work cannot compare to giggling with friends at the back of a comic-con. Those romantic “I love you”’s only filled me with discomfort I tried to deny, while my heart blooms when me and my friends tell each other “I love you guys,” platonically.

I am not sad being unable to feel romantic love. What does make me sad is when people say, “You don’t fall in love? I’m so sorry. That sounds horrible.” What does make me sad is when people frame it like I’m missing out on some great experience. Romantic relationships may be great for them, but they aren’t great for me. What does make me sad is when people think being aromantic means I’m emotionless, and unable to feel empathy or any type of love. 

The Denial of the Aromantic Community’s Existence

I know it can be hard to comprehend, especially when someone doesn’t know the term. Some people need an explanation, and I’m happy to provide them with that. Some people still don’t respect it, though, and some people completely deny its existence. So many people deny its existence.

“You’ll find the right person one day.”

“You just need more time!”

“You’re young, it just hasn’t happened yet.”

Yes, I’m young. Maybe one day I’ll realize I’m not aromantic and change my label, which is completely fine. But right now I feel aromantic, belong in this label, and don’t ever see it changing in the future. the most tiring things to hear are variants of the quotes above. They’re so invalidating. Who even is the ‘right person?’ What if the right person is one of my friends? In that case, what if I’ve already found them? It feels like I’ve already found the right person in my friends, as friends.

This experience isn’t exclusive to me. Many other aromantics get told the same thing. There are so, so many of us, and despite what others say, we exist. We are valid.

My Opinion on Romance

Because I’m aromantic, most people assume I don’t like romance, such as in movies or books or other couples in real life. While it’s very real for a aromantic person to be repulsed by all romance (on a spectrum),  personally, I adore romance! I really love fictional ships, and other people being together doesn’t bother me. Reading good, cute romance makes me elated. Though, I have to admit- the way people describe romance sounds horrifying sometimes. Like, you think about one person all of the time and feel horribly sad when they’re gone? You dream about that person and can’t help but admire them silently, hoping your intense feelings are returned? You get into relationships in high school, knowing there’s a very slim chance they’ll lead anywhere more? Don’t even get me started on relationship drama. Why is there so much relationship drama?!

I could never. Great for all the romantics out there, but also man. I am glad I don’t have to deal with that. I’m fine with my lovey-dovey fanfiction and media. 


If you got this far, then yay! This post was longer than I realized while writing it. I hope you learned new things, and if you have any questions, I have no problem answering. Have a nice day!

Some of my favorite so random sketches. In no specific order.


So random was like the daughter show of another show titled, “Sonny with a Chance”.  I frequently compare so random to if there was a Saturday night Live geared specifically to teens. The show consisted of multiple sketches preformed in front of a live audience often combined with musical guests and performances. The show ran for about a year 2011-2012. It was and still is one of my favorite Disney shows and a comfort show for me. 


#1: The Real Princesses of New Jersey 

I feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory, it was meant to be a parody of the Real Housewives which makes it funnier looking back but when I was little, I just thought it was really silly. 

#2: Rufus: At the Movies(You’re not gonna believe this) 

This was the sequel to another sketch, so seeing the teachers on a date after previous tension was kind of satisfying. I also just find the premise of a kid full of ridiculous excuses that are actually true, and no one believes him until the end very funny.

#3: The I’m Gonna Marry Zack Feldman Show!!

Basically, a delusion girl convinced she’s going to marry her middle school crush. It was just very funny, her hype around this whole date for it only to have been a 2-minute conversation that ended in her puking. 

#4: Bedazzle-zit 

This one is a parody of commercial for a machine that bedazzles your acne, to hide it. Something about the corny over the top acting and how violent the machine is that makes this especially funny.

#5: Janice’s Backup Singers 

This sketch follows an unpopular girl whose mom hired back dancers to follow her around school to make her more popular, and craziness ensues. I like this one because the random British accents one of the male students adopts randomly and the songs the backup dancers sing are so catchy. 

#6: M.C Grammar 

In this sketch two men are in the middle of a rap battle to which they are interrupted by M.C Grammar who proceeds to correct and educate them are the parts of speech. This one is in song form, and to be completely honest it’s just catchy. Especially the chorus which, “Cause if you wanna graduate you gotta know how to conjugate// And if you wanna find a mate you gotta know how to puncuate.”

#7: Braggy Benson 

This sketch follows a boy who appears to be trying make friends, they seem getting along until Benson begins to “flex” but the things he’s bragging about are objectively negative, such as getting rejected by a popular girl and failing a test, he does this repeatedly till he scares them away. After which he calls his mom to brag about scaring away two potential friends to which she responds with glee and informs him cheerfully how she burned a whole tray of cookies. 

#8: Zombie man 

I love how extremely morbid this one especially for Disney. This one follows a boy a zombie in a school full of humans, and one of his friends comes up to him and finds out that he ate his prom date. Once he proves to be upset Zombie man tries to smooth it over by offering to eat some other girl’s date so he can have one as all the other girls in the school had a date. He does this and successfully scores his friend a date with a girl who’s sobbing that her boyfriend died.

#9: Lunch Lady Secrets 


This one starts with two kids watching a commercial about microwaveable meals that replicate school lunches for kids who miss them during summer break, the two kids laugh and say how much they don’t miss school and attempt to turn the channel then the people from the commercial appear in their home and continue to talk to the camera as if the commercial is still rolling. While the children freak out and attempt to call the police they continue to film with no care. This one is just silly. 

#10: Sally Jensen: Kid Lawyer 


This one is about a lawyer who’s a kid reprimanding people for lying in yearbooks. This one is just absurd funny; she makes a guy do community service because he told a girl to have a great summer and then her dog died.


My Favorite Ships

What’s up dragon pal’s (don’t ask)


So, you all read the title you know where this is going. So, I wrote this down in my notebook and I’m just typing what I see /kinda/. So, today’s blog is going to be about my top three OTP’s. I didn’t know what else to blog about so bear with me plz. Thank you. 🙂

If you don’t know what an OTP is that’s ok. An OTP is just an acronym for the phrase One True Paring. This phrase is in many fandoms when talking about ships, not boats but the relation “ships” of the character in the show, movie or book. Some of it cannon some of it not.

Now I promise I won’t be like those people who just rant about their favorite ships /I probably will a little bit, but I’ll do my best to stay focused. /

  1. Percabeth (Percy Jackson)

Pin by Imogen Blackhall on Fandom | Percy jackson memes, Percy jackson ...So, anyone here a Percy Jackson fan (I can’t see if you raised your hand.) Anyways if you are then good you already know about this ship but for the folks in the back who don’t have any idea what I’m talking about. Percabeth is main ship in the Percy Jackson franchise between Annabeth Chase and Percy Jackson. /I’m really excited for the show coming out in December. /

So, Percabeth… I sometimes don’t know what to say they are just a great couple and if you’ve read the books then you know that their dynamic is just ugh my heart. Even though the relationship took a bit of slow burn it was till good, (just wait there is an even slower couple.) I recommend if you haven’t read the books to do it cause it tells about their relationship better than I can. I think it’s cute when get to see them go from kinda enemies, cause Athena kids and Poseidon kids can’t get along to best friends that rely on one another to lovers that would and did fight Gods and Titians for the other.

  1. Hiccstrid (How to Train Your Dragon)

Hiccstrid Wallpapers - Wallpaper Cave

I was only 13 when I first saw these two on screen together. The first HTTYD movie was just so beautiful and not just with the animation but the story and the characters. I know I say this a lot, but I really do love this movie. It’s my favorite movie of all time. 

OK now on to the ship.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III and Astrid Hofferson as known as Hiccstrid to the fandom and the creators are just the perfect example of a good enemy to lovers’ story trope. In the beginning of the movie, they don’t even really interact with one another but then they become rivals /kinda/ when they have dragon killing training but by the end of the movie, they are both just so caring for one another. Now, this might be a little silly but these two are the reason I have slightly high standards for a SOA. Now I’m almost at the max word count for this blog so I might do a rant on them in next week blog but in the meantime if you want to hear more on these two’s history watch this video.

 Why Hiccup and Astrid are the Best Couple in History: Their FULL Story – YouTube

My Top Favorite Ships 


  1. Hiccstrid (How to Train Your Dragon)
  2. Percabeth (Percy Jackson)
  3. Nalu (Fairy Tail)
  4. Damian Wayne x Rachel Roth /Raven/ (DC comics)
  5. Lumity / Amity Blight x Luz Noceda (Owl House)


If you read this and didn’t skip this cause of the title thank you for reading this crazy mess that I made have a good day. 

Cris Out! 

Poetry collection p.ii [persona edition]

Wanted to start a trend of writing poetry for november so yeah, poetry p.ii now with personas

 fraudulent accord

if I told you I did it for you, you’d call me a liar. but somehow self-gain makes sense. every word out of my mouth you sincerely tried to block out but suddenly when you try to speak, you expect Christmas to come early. You got this idea,

“It’s all garbage out of your mouth,”

but when it’s yours I guess it doesn’t count. because I lie far too much to ever tell a fib, and when you fib, I just nod my head and glue my lips to keep the bread split between us.

But I think I’m getting tired of that?

I know there’s only much stale bread to keep me sustained, because maybe being fed like a dog isn’t worth my dignity. I used to love this game of back and forth, but hell knows if it means anything, all I know is I’ve been chasing to catch up with it, but the game is faster than my shoes can go.

My soles have run themselves ragged in their effort to keep up, and my knees are starting to give, so maybe I’ll let you leave behind this time and lead whatever race you’re trying to run.


I never thought someone could recreate themself straight from the kiln. Clearly I was wrong.

What happened, I don’t know. I don’t know why this hurts.

You were born fire ash and smoke and I got used to the scent. You clawed your way here yourself, and somehow, we shared the same callouses. That was our normal. Through this, I always thought I had someone who I recognized, we were made of rock and steel, we were made from hell together. We both climbed and we both made it ourselves. I thought it was something I knew well but now something’s different, and it’s turning my insides out. You made it. Without me.

You’re smiling, and you’re laughing, you’re unrecognizable, and I know I should be happy, but I don’t know what I’m feeling.

You remade yourself. Built yourself from the ground up, you wield something once scarred like its molten iron straight from the furnace. And yet here I am, and I’m not. I’m still shackled to my arms and body in chains that I don’t know how to shake.

So I have to ask.

How did you do it?

holding your Breath

No one knows the feeling of breathing like I do

something locked up in your chest
lets itself go and you feel reality reconnect

you’d only been underwater for a few seconds,
you swear

It wasn’t that bad,
you didn’t even notice it.

You were only holding your breath a little bit
where your eyes started to spill themselves from your head
and reality turned to water and maybe you were drowning

but then you woke up.

so it’s not that bad, really. that’s just what breathing is.

A Small Poet

Okay for some reason the blogs being due, totally slipped my mind, so for this post I’m just going to share something I made last month that I worked on for a while.

I know it’s sort of an easy ticket out of my dilemma, but I really don’t have any other choice.

The title is…  A Small Poet

“A Small Poet”


No, thank you.

I’d rather be, a… small poet.


A small poet isn’t left on a shelf. 

A small poet Isn’t… passed out in class,
and needs to be read by Tuesday.

A small poet, isn’t laminated for protection.

A small poet doesn’t cost much more than A buck fifty. 

A small poet has dogeared pages. 

A small poet sits in the house of a single mother. 

Or the apartment of a young artist. 

A small poet, has coffee stains, and highlight marks.
A Small poet is left in a mother’s purse. 

And likes to be read on Tuesdays.
Because he’s a Tuesday person.

A small poet has torn out pages, but they aren’t missing. 

They’re stuck on the walls with tacks and tape. 


I’d much rather be a small poet.

This piece was inspired by one of my goals in life, It might be different than the rest, and probably not as interesting. But my goal is clearly as the poem states, I do not want to be an Emily Dickenson, 

Or an Earnest Hemmingway. I don’t want to be an Edgar Allen Poe or a Robert Frost. I don’t want to be world-renowned. When I die, I don’t want a book of my work to be handed out in class and need to be read by Monday. I want my work to be analyzed for perfection or academic reasons. I simply want it to touch the hearts of those who find it. I would so much rather my work be found in an alley behind a few boxes. Found by a person who cherishes every word.

I would much rather that, than someone who buys my book in a bookshop and leaves it on their shelf to collect dust. I don’t want my book to be protected from dust actually, I would much rather it be worn, and dog-eared, and highlighted. I would much rather my book be owned by few and cherished by few. Then Owned by many and read by few.

I guess that’s my outlook on it, and I don’t even have a book of poetry (yet) to be published. But when I do, that’s how I want it to be read. 

Anyway, I hope that’s enough for a blog. Im just finishing this as were leaving, so theres not much time to edit, so please excuse any misspellings or errors. Thank you.