Senior Literary – Literary Arts Blogspace

Blog #infinity

Earlier this year, I came across a video that talked about a writer who liked to examine and write about people on their death beds. She had been writing on the topic of death for years, speaking from professional experience with hospitalized patients who were not expected to live very long. The book was called, “On Dying and Death” and it’s by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. In addition to being a writer, Ross was also a significant figure in the health industry and began her career as a psychiatrist. She was even able to develop a general chart or a stage-by-stage explanation of the emotions that people go through before they accept that their loved ones are dying. She called them the five stages of grief, and they are ordered as follows: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Although I never sat down to read this novel and experience it for the amazing book that it truly is, the author’s findings about the mental process behind accepting death stuck with me and I found myself extremely curious to know how she wrote this book, and what other factors played into her crafting these ideas.

I’m not completely sure if this piece of information is connected to Ross’s book, but I also saw that when people are close to death, they are thinking about two things, “Who have I helped, and what have I done in my life?” Hearing this really influenced the trajectory of the path I thought I was going down back then, and it made me consider the meaning of purpose and how I could use my own to contribute to the world.

Before I came to MSA, I didn’t really think I had a purpose and that’s just to say I didn’t believe there was anything that I was working on to better my future or someone else’s future. But looking back on my junior year, I realize that is absolutely not true because some of the happiest moments of my senior year stemmed from the efforts of my junior year. Now, I think it’s so important to celebrate our entire journey, because that’s how we build the courage to keep going, and to continue building whatever craft. So, if anything, my years here have taught me to welcome the hard times and be very open to experience and allow myself to be shaped by my struggles.

Yeah, so, this quote is very special to me because I was able to carve out my own definition of purpose and be moved by it. I definitely don’t have everything figured out, but one of my main goals in life is to be conscience about the world and the people who are in it, not that it’ll make accepting death any easier, but because it’s important to me.

One of my plans this summer is to actually read this book and probably be really immersed in it for a while. I’m interested in works that explore some facets of human existence and contemplate what they mean. Also, I wanted to write about something sad for my last blog, so I thought this book being my latest fascination matched that well, I guess.

Anyways, if you’re interested in this book too, let me know, maybe we can go half and half on it at our local bookstore, and swap it every couple of years?

I’m not scared anymore

I feel like I’ve talked too much about graduating high school, too much about my childhood or how scary I think growing up is. I would have loved, more than anything, to write about what graduation means to me, how saying goodbye to this chapter of my life seems like the scariest change I’ll ever encounter. It feels like such a beautiful moment that is also so incredibly common.

I used to hold a grudge against people that weren’t afraid of graduating high school. I used to think they weren’t consciously going about life, that they would regret not appreciating their high school graduation enough in the future.

But now, I’m starting to become exactly what I could never imagine myself to be. I’m not as scared as I used to be. And it’s funny that I can look back at how different I was before I came to MSA. My hair was wavy, almost straight. I played the oboe and the keyboard (both terribly) in my high school band, and my only sense of community was in that band. I drew every single day and could fill an entire sketchbook in just a few months. My favorite artist was Chappell Roan and I thought I had left hyperpop far behind me (not knowing a new phase was in my future).

At the same time, not a lot has changed. I still love horror media, I still love Smiling Friends (if you told summer 2024 Stephanie that it would be over by now, she would flip. But she would also say she “knew it was coming” just like I did when Zach and Michael first announced its finale). If I met 16-year-old Stephanie, we really wouldn’t be that different. I like to think that she would say we’re completely different people but I don’t think that at all.

I think I’m more different from the Steph that was in her first few months at MSA than I am the girl before that. She had terrible imposter syndrome, comparing herself to her seniors and fellow juniors enough to think that she couldn’t possibly be a real writer. She didn’t even know what the word “prose” meant. She didn’t know anything about writing and that’s what I love about her, she just wrote what she wanted without putting a genre, or even a title, on it. She wrote short stories without calling them short stories, started novels without calling them novels. She wrote with no end goal, word count, or desire to show anyone. And if I really think about it, I’m so jealous of her.

Over the two years I’ve spent at MSA, my writing has obviously changed but my dreams haven’t. I still want to ultimately write horror novels, but now I can see myself writing a romance novel, memoir, short story collection, or poetry collection. It’s important to note that I wrote my first ever (successful) poem to audition for MSA. I had only written one (terrible) poem before that in the seventh grade. I remember it being really difficult, but in the end I loved it. I should’ve known that I would love poetry years later.

Over my time at MSA, I loved writing about my childhood and how attached I am to it. It’s certainly magical, but I think I’ve dwelled on it too long. How many times can you say “I’m terrified of growing up” before people get tired of hearing you? How many times can you say “I’m not ready to be an adult” before you’re eighteen and you have no choice? And how many times can you keep lying to yourself saying you’re not ready when you are, you just don’t realize it?

I’ve made excuses for myself time and time again: I don’t know how to do taxes, I’ve never had a job, I still don’t know how to drive! But I can learn, like I have with everything before. And if I don’t learn the first time, I have no choice but to try again.

I’ve realized that some people know me for writing about how scary this transitional period of life is for teenagers. Sure it’s great hearing them say I’m relatable or “real”, but I’m ready to move on. There is so much more I want to write.

My senior showcase has certainly broken a part of my brain. I’ve realized that there is no going back after “AMERICAN GIRL/AMERICAN BOY”. I lost a part of myself after focusing on my time in Indonesia for the first time in twelve years. Something about not knowing what happened those six years made me the girl I was. The Wasian girl that thought of herself as entirely White, because that’s how she was raised, the girl that dismissed her time in her home country because it hurt too much to think about.

I don’t fully know who I am yet, and I don’t think I ever will. Maybe I’m getting closer to knowing, maybe this is the closest I will ever be. But I’d rather dwell in the uncomfortable honesty about my childhood than ignore it and make that ignorance part of myself. I want everyone to know about how difficult it was for me, because that’s how I became who I am today. Maybe being closer to my culture, my childhood, and the blocked memories brings me closer to my best self.

On a lighter note, I really love sharing this website to anyone outside of MSA that’s interested in my writing. Not only do I get to promote my peers’ casual pieces that display their personality and how I know them, but also I feel like the people I share it with know a little bit more about me when they read my blogs. I also love going back in time and reading my old posts. It’s embarrassing as hell, but I only say that because it’s me.

Outside of this website, I also love searching random internet topics and finding a 10-year-old blog post by a teenager who only had one thing: a website domain and passion. There’s something so charming about reading an internal monologue typed out for all of the internet to see.

When I’m in college, I want to be able to look back at this website and read my old, embarrassing blogs. Maybe they won’t be such a pain to read in a few years since hopefully I won’t remember writing about Chappell Roan for my first ever blog and started it with a clickbait title.

I also want this final blog post to be like a time capsule. I’d love to compare my changes even further in the future when I look back. So:

My name is Stephanie, but I prefer Steph. I’m a senior at the Mississippi School of the Arts and I’m graduating in less than a month. I used to be afraid of becoming an adult, graduating high school, and moving on to college. I am really childish. I cram playing my favorite video game, the new Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream, in my thirty minutes of free time every day. My favorite artists (and band) right now are underscores, Jane Remover and Paramore. I’ve just realized my love for graphic design as I work more on my showcase. I’ve stopped drawing as much as I used to. And I love having pink hair. I can’t wait to read this in a couple of years and go “Wow, that’s funny. I don’t even listen to underscores anymore.”

I’m proud to say I’m not afraid of growing up anymore. I’m not “comfortable with the idea of graduating” like I said in January, I’m excited to graduate. I can’t wait to move on and change. I can’t wait to compare these moments in my life and I can’t wait to cringe at my blog posts years in the future. I can’t wait to become a different person, hopefully closer to the best version of myself.

I was originally going to write about the 2012 “The Lorax” movie. I was going to write about how O’Hare could potentially be Asian American representation, how The Onceler should’ve never been viewed as a forgivable character (at least not any more than O’Hare), and how motivations of Ted were only for a girl way too old for him and he didn’t even care about saving Thneedville for real. I was going to write about how much potential that movie had to be a genuinely good critique of capitalism and how powerful that movie could’ve been and how you can see it in the concept art and the demo songs (that are on the soundtrack!).

I was so excited until I realized it would’ve been my last blog post as a student at MSA. As funny as it would’ve been, I did not want that to be my legacy. So I went for a personal essay (if you squint) about how I have nothing to say about graduation. And I think it’s really funny that “nothing to say” equates to 1,300 words. I’m really happy to say goodbye. AMERICAN GIRL/AMERICAN BOY is on May 4th at 6 PM in the Black Box.

Maybe, I am Batman…

The Batman Meets The Dark Knight - YouTube — Robert Pattison (Left) Christian Bale (Right)

I didn’t know what I wanted my last blog to be. I have so many saved drafts that are never going to be anything because well, it’s over. I feel like two years have never gone by so quickly before. People always said that high school would fly by, but man they really meant it. Anyway, I had a blog draft named “Robert Pattinson Vs. Christan Bale’s Batman.” So, effortlessly, I will be showing how someone can be so similar yet so different, and while doing that, explain how these two years have changed me in so many ways. So, let’s start with Christan Bale’s, or I guess Christopher Nolan, who is the director.

A Complete Guide to Watching Batman Films in Order

Christan Bale was the Dark Knight. He did an amazing job playing Batman and Bruce Wayne, and I guess I can say this is the adaptation of both Batman and Bruce Wayne people tend to enjoy the most. Unfortunately, I did not watch Batman Begins. I got the DVDs from my grandma and that one didn’t work but just know it’s when he becomes Batman. Now, I don’t know much about that movie, so anyways. The Dark Knight!!

Bruce Wayne The Dark Knight

We don’t see Batman until ten minutes has passed in this movie. IN this universe, there are people who dress up as Batman to help fight, but they use guns, which Batman is strictly against. The main antagonist of this movie is the Joker. Christian Bale’s Batman has this more defensive fighting style, while still being aggressive and scaring his opponent, but he makes very quick work of getting them down! Though he does tend to get overly aggressive when angry, as seen in this scene with the joker.

The Dark Knight Interrogation Scene Explained (with Free Script PDF) — the joker has love interest held hostage…

He also has a very close father-son like relationship with Alfred, and in the third movie Bruce fakes his death to stop being Batman, and when Alfred finds this out, he is SO happy. Also, in the third movie we meet Catwoman, who ends up getting with Batman because love interest Racheal dies in the second movie… Glad he moves on, I guess.

Bruce Wayne The Dark Knight Rises — That is Selina Kyle (Catwoman) with her back turned!!

Okay!! Bruce Wayne. This Bruce Wayne is the one everyone knows. He always has a woman on his arm, he’s an airhead, and like however else you can explain him. In the Dark Knight movie, Joker puts a bounty on a man’s head. If he does not die, he will blow up a hospital. So, people were trying to get him, and when someone was about to crash into the car the man was in, Bruce intervenes driving his car in between them, saying he was only trying to catch the light, which I thought was funny. Also, in the Dark Knight, Harvey Dent is there, and Harvey makes Bruce want to quit. He believes that Gotham needs a hero who doesn’t wear a mask. Harvey Dent becomes Two Face after half of his face burned in a fire, and he flips this coin to decide whether or not his victim lives or dies. Harvey ends up dying in the end of the movie after falling, and Batman tells Gordon to never tell anyone, in fear of the hope Harvey put into the city will disappear if they find out what he did, which was kill like three or four people.

The Batman Posters 2022 Wallpapers - Wallpaper Cave

I LOVE this movie. So, this Batman is newer, only doing this for about two or three years now. The movie takes place on Halloween, and it begins with a very emo Bruce Wayne monologuing about Gotham, and how just because he hasn’t been doing this long people are still afraid when they see the Bat signal. The antagonist of this movie is the Riddler, but the biggest thing about it is Batman going from a symbol of fear to a symbol of hope. The Riddler is ruthless, and continues to leave notes to Batman, who is working with Gordon despite the police wanting to arrest him, and I LOVE Gordon in the movie. The Dark Knight Gordon sucks, and is lowkey the real villain… Anyway, in this THREE-HOUR movie, Batman figures it all out, obviously, while going through so much, so why is this Batman different? I’m not completely sure what comic he’s based on, but I do know that this Bruce Wayne is a recluse. He does not leave the house unless he needs to. He’s awkward and everyone knows him because he is still the prince of Gotham, but in a way that’s like Thomas Wayne was so goated, and Bruce is just his son.

Will The Batman Suffer Another Delay? Warner Exec Responds

Battison is SO aggressive, like he really is an act first, ask questions later kind of guy, like genuinely pushing people downstairs type of guy. There was a scene where Gordon is like, “Okay punch me and run so you can get away” and Batman punches him so hard and runs, and later Gordon is like, “You did not have to do it that hard.” Batman pretty much just shrugs his shoulders bruh he’s so funny. Not even joking, they’re lowkey besties in this movie.

The Batman: 10 Best Jim Gordon Scenes — I heart Black Gordon

Seline Kyle is also in this movie. Another villain besides the Riddler is Carmine Falcone, who apparently killed the Wayne parents. Allegedly, said by Alfred who took a bomb to the face AND LIVED. Speaking of Alfred, their relationship is different. They clearly care for each other, but it’s less of a father-son and more of an Alfred is just a butler. Like Afred and Thomas Wayne were close, but he’s not really sure what to do with Bruce, but they do have a sweet moment when Alfred is hospitalized, after, I repeat, taking a bomb to the face.

Alfred Pennyworth (The Batman Saga) | DC Database | Fandom

This is getting long, let me wrap it up. Selina Kyle ends up being Carmine Falcone’s daughter. Batman helps her arrest him but before he can get arrested, the Riddler snipes him. They find the Riddler. The city floods because he blew up the dams because he has this odd following of people who are orphans and upset. Thomas Wayne promised a trust fund to orphaned children but after he did, all the other rich people took all of that money, which left the orphaned children angry. Batman saves a bunch of people and becomes a symbol of hope after realizing his messed-up city needs something to look towards.

The Batman Debuts New Image of Catwoman and the Dark Knight — OH, I love her so much. She apparently auditioned to be Catwoman in the Dark Knight, but I’m glad she got this one.

10 Riddler Comics Which Batman Fans Can't Afford to Miss — Does he know…

Anyway. I think both of these Batman’s (Batmen??) are amazing, and I think superheroes can really make you reflect on yourself, which is something I’ve talked about before. Both of them made big sacrifices and changes to help Gotham. Christian Bale’s Batman risked his reputation, which was already lacking, just for the city to have hope. Battison gave up this persona who everyone should be afraid and changed into someone people want. I think it’s important to make sacrifices and lose people, and it’s important to grow and meet new people. Meeting Selina Kyle was like the best thing that could happen to happen to them and that’s beautiful. I do have to wrap this up, sorry, it’s so long. Remember that change is a wonderful thing and sometimes bad things happen, and even though it can’t always be resolved, sometimes you just have to climb out a really big hole.

Why The Dark Knight Rises Is The Best Of The Dark Knight Trilogy — Dark Knight Rises. Bruce Wayne escaping from a very big hole after being left hopeless

I believe that I’ve learned a lot about myself over these past two years, and that I have lost but also gained so many people in my life. I’ve realized that I can be more than who I always have been, so I will. Maybe I’m not giving a whole city hope, but I am giving it to myself, who always struggled to have it before. Thank you.

In Summary: A Retrospective of My Time at MSA

For my final blog, I wanted to give a semi-autobiographical look into my life these past few years, and how I got to where I am now. I hope that you will find some similarities through my experiences, as well as inspiration from my journey. I also want to take a minute to thank each and every one of you reading this, literary students or not. You have supported my art and my journey, and I can never repay you for that gift. Thank you and please enjoy.

From Pre-K 3 to 10th grade, I attended St. Andrews Episcopal School. I grew up at that school, around those people, and I learned so much. I am eternally grateful that my parents cared enough about my education that they sent me to such an expensive school. Even with financial aid, St. Andrews still costs an arm and a leg. Their education is top tier and easily worth every penny spent. My academic journey was supported every step of the way and St. Andrews is where I found my love of learning. I fell in love with English and writing through the curriculum there. I took Latin classes for multiple years, which further supported my interest in non-modern pieces of literature. I was supported by the teachers, who appreciated my commitment to my classwork. The only thing I lacked at that school was community.

I had friends at my old school, some of which I still talk to today, but I felt out of place for the longest time. It wasn’t till my last year at St. Andrews that it truly felt like a home. I felt like I had to hide so much of myself just to fit into the status quo and the standards set up by everyone else there. I felt like a complete outsider for years, and I struggled to maintain a social life. My grades were perfect but my mental health was not. I knew I needed an environment that supported my creativity just as much as it did my academics. Then, like the universe could hear my thoughts, I was sent a letter.

I don’t remember exactly when I got my letter about MSA, but I remember that it immediately piqued my interest. I had never heard of MSA before, even in my years of researching art school. Funnily enough, I had plans in eighth grade to apply to an art school in New Orleans, though I never went through with it. But in tenth grade, I got a letter in the mail and that was my sign to try again. I completed the entire application process by myself, only once requiring my mom’s assistance. I remember going to get my letters of recommendation from my teachers at St. Andrews. My advisor (he had been my history teacher in ninth grade as well) was saddened by the idea of me leaving but was excited to see where I would go in my artistic journey. My counselor was similarly supportive and talked to me about how she had heard good things about MSA and was excited for me to apply. My creative writing teacher was the only one who put up a fight.

Dr. Smith was my creative writing teacher in tenth grade. Creative writing had been the artistic elective I had chosen that year. In my freshmen year, it hadn’t been an option and I had doubled in Journalism and Graphic Design instead. My sophomore year was Dr. Smith’s first year of teaching creative writing in quite a long time. He was an AP English teacher and had taught creative writing at colleges in the past. He was the best teacher I’ve ever had. He supported my writing, encouraged my work, and never held back on feedback. He taught me so much and I am eternally grateful for him. When I told him I planned to switch schools, he wasn’t pleased. He was honest and told me that he didn’t want to see me go. He had hoped that I would’ve stayed in his creative writing class for my junior and senior years, and that I would’ve applied to his AP English course as well. He understood my desire to surround myself with creatives and seek out a more supportive environment, but he still wanted me to stay. I nearly broke down, telling him about how I loved his class but, for my mental health, I needed a new environment. He understood.

Audition day was nerve wracking, but I still had so much fun. I have so many pictures with my parents from my first time on campus. I met so many wonderful people and immediately felt welcomed. When I was accepted to MSA, I was ecstatic. I had applied to both literary and theater, as I am just as much of an actor as I am a writer, but I chose literary. I am so grateful that I did. While I would’ve been just as happy as a theater student, the MSA literary department has supported my artistic journey as an author in ways I cannot even begin to thank them for. I’ve gotten so many opportunities thanks to Dr. Alexis and all of her support. I’ve gotten amazing feedback from my peers and have met so many talented authors in both my junior and senior years. I have grown as an author as well as a person.

My time at MSA has truly been more than I could’ve ever asked for. I’ve made some life long friends at this school, met some insanely talented people, and learned so much about myself. I never would’ve become the person I am now without the support of this school and the community. Even when things were hard, I had friends from MSA to keep me sane. I am eternally grateful to this school. I am excited to graduate nonetheless. It will be sad to say goodbye to my juniors, as well as my senior friends who are going out of state for college, but I’m prepared for that sadness. This isn’t goodbye, this is see you soon!

last blog

Over the past two years, I’ve found my home. Now, I’m not going to be mushy, but I do think that my last blog post here at MSA should be a recap of my time here and what I’ve learned. I want to talk about some of my favorite pieces of writing I never would’ve known about had I not come here, along with some of my favorite works of my own.

Starting off, I want to talk about Girl by Jamaica Kincaid.

Girl is a short story set in the second person, representing a conversation between a mother and daughter. This story depicts societal expectations and the relationships between mothers and daughters in such a creative way, using a tutorial form as a way to protect the daughter and shield her from societal judgement and bias.

Next, one of my own works, sphynx.

I wrote sphynx as a triptych poem. Inspired by the threefold form of the most well-known sphinx riddles, I decided to put my own spin on it. The original riddle goes like this: “In the morning I walk on four legs, in the afternoon I walk on two, and in the evening I walk on three. What am I?” In the original greek myth, Oedipus answered “Man, we crawl as a babe, stand on two feet as adults, and must use a cane as elders.” I was very interested in how this threefold could apply to emotions and time of day, and based my poem on that. Here it is below.

this morning I am anger. i have opened up the insides of an oracle to hear the cries of my people. i crack apart the digital ribcage to gnaw on the bleeding heart prostrating itself in efforts for more oxygen, begging me for more time even as the beats run out. her sand is slipping through the hourglass of my hips. stuck between my toes, it becomes significant as i tread the forever desert.

this afternoon, i am sadness. left with little limerence to spare for the love of my life, I crumble. limestone pillars cannot bear the weight of my insecurity and lack of affection. cannot hold the broken body, bare and bloody, begging to be mine. bring his love to me and let me feast, lap up every lisp and wisp of passion, cosmic feline drinking up the moon.

tonight, I am joy. when the final lamplight dims, my face will split open, and the asteroids of my teeth will travel all the worlds inaccessible to rockets. my body will aflame and burst apart, the stardust of my soul splintering off like the split seam of a tree being.

When I applied to MSA, I was told there was no way I could make it, but I’m graduating in under a month’s time, and I’m so happy that I got to be here right now.

The Final Showing

Well guys, it’s been a long, rocky road with hundreds of sharp, spikey rocks at the bottom, but we made it somehow, and that’s great. For me personally, this experience has been an experience. I’ve had relationships, I’ve hated people, I’ve made one or two friends. Enough about that; I’d rather discuss the positives that this school has brought me.

A New Environment

This school has given me a new environment compared to my old one, where it’d be clouded bathrooms engulfed in smoke, classrooms full of sleeping teachers and kids, kids teaching students, or teachers telling kids about their “nightlife.” “I know it’s shocking but true. This place gave me a real education. While I do wish I had more science classes, it still has given me a good place to learn and grow as a person.

Friends

I know I’m a pretty cool guy. I mean, I’m funny, smart, humble, and awe-inspiring—some pretty good qualities if I do say so myself. But at my last school anyone that wasn’t affiliated with a gang or group was fodder, and I wasn’t the type of person to join one of those groups if you catch my drift, so I was alone for my middle school and high school experience, but here there wasn’t anything like that, and even with my crippling anxiety and my Asperger’s, I was able to overcome it and made 2 friends.

Opportunities

At my last school the only opportunities you get are always shot down by defunding and no adult supervision. For instance, there were no clubs because what type of adult would want to stay with the same twerps that whine and moan all day, and who would want to fund a school where a lot of the students are toting an AK or a Glock everywhere? It’s not fair, but that’s what it is like. The state won’t try and help schools like that, whereas here there are clubs, funding, trips, and scholarship opportunities, and schools won’t look right past you when you’re applying to colleges.

I know there aren’t that many reasons, but I only needed one to come here, and if I had to do my life over again, I most likely would still want to come here even though it has its faults, but we humans do too. I hope whoever’s reading this gets the same opportunities as me and can hope for a brighter future. Signing off forever is Quentin McClinton

It’s March! Let’s Talk about My favorite Christmas Movies

I never really had a show or movie series that I was passionate about when I was growing up. Though, I was raised by adults who had a heartfelt love for movie culture. I have watched all the Tyler Perry movies, every edition of Friday, Coming to America, and every good and bad version of Barbershop. I didn’t have a lot of control over our family remote.

Although the movies mentioned above now hold a special place in my heart, back then they didn’t really resonate with me. The only time I got to watch movies I liked was around Christmas, whether it was a romantic comedy or a beautifully animated cartoon, I always took to seasonal movies more. Since nobody can ever really turn down a good Christmas movie, one of my first memories is watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with my grandma on Christmas Eve. In today’s blog, I want to talk about a few Christmas films that first resonated with me.

Polar Express:

Even though I’m still young and building what I will consider my “youth” one day, I consider the most prominent points of my childhood to have been around 2010-2018. Polar Express came out in 2004. This movie caught my eye because I never saw a film that was animated like it was. It has a realistic 3D animation type, and although that’s pretty common to see these days, it was not common to six-year-old me.

I didn’t recognize the feeling back then, but when I first saw the film, I got a deep sense of uncanny valley. I was really drawn to the plot, which is basically a kid leaving his house in the middle of the night to catch a train and discover if Santa Claus is real or not. It sounded a lot more adventurous when I was a kid, but I can probably watch this movie at any point in my life and still love it with all my heart.

Edward Scissorhands:

My first time watching Edward Scissorhands was more recent than one might think. By recent, I mean last year. Some of my friends introduced it to me once they heard I’d never seen it before. I’m interested in anything that’s made by Tim burton. I love all his films and admire the way he uses his creative freedom. In this movie, and a few of his others, he uses color in an interesting way. I like to describe it as everything being a different color, but in the same shade or hue, and it creates this since of parallelism.

I love movies that interact with color like this, because it signifies the universe of the movie is unique from our own. Or at least that’s how I think of it. I know some people like to argue that this is a Halloween movie, and I can totally see how that comes to mind, but this film has always felt like a Christmas movie to me. Even though the plot might seem like a good Halloween movie, there are a lot of aspects of the Holidays here, so I really disagree with that.

Gremlins:

Though Gremlins is considered a less-cuddly type of Christmas movie, it has always been one of my favorites. I watched it when was a little older, around my pre-teen years, so I was mature enough to not be terrified of the microwave scene (ifykyk). Gremlins came out in 1984, and it was popular before I even watched it. It’s about this Gadget Salesman that purchases a pet for his son at a sketchy shop, and the store owner give him very specific instructions to keep the pet from basically turning into a monster.

The guy buys it anyway, gives it to his son for Christmas, the son doesn’t adhere to his dad’s instructions, then the pet turns into a monster and procreates little versions of himself. So now, the entire town is full of furry, sharp-toothed Gremlins running around and terrorizing people on Christmas. It’s a lot funnier than it sounds. I also like this movie because the plot was really unique to me at the time, since I’d never seen a holiday movie mixed with horror before. I really encourage you to watch this one if not anything else.

Overwatch and how the story is progressing

As we all know, I love Overwatch, but I can admit that the game had been in a rough state. But Overwatch went big, removing the 2, and going back to just Overwatch. This change brought us a brand-new season one with FIVE new characters being added at once, and ten by the end of the year. The last time more than one hero was released at a time was right when Overwatch became Overwatch 2 releasing Sojourn, Junker Queen, and Kiriko. The five characters added were Anran, Emre, Mizuki, Domina (Vaira Singhania), and Jetpack Cat (Fika). These characters have brought with them stories to add into the Overwatch Lore.

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As each character is released, lore is added to the story automatically, but Overwatch has actually taken a step at moving it along. Back in the day, animatics were made for characters, which soon went to just short stories and comics, with the occasional animated short. Many people complained, and Overwatch listened. Recently, a character named Vendetta (Marzia Bartalotti) was added. To summarize her story, her father Antonia Bartalotti was killed by Blackwatch, a secret group that Overwatch had, when she was a little girl. She was kicked out of her home and lost everything and has now grown to get revenge. Vendetta takes over Talon after fighting Doomfist (Akande Ogundimu), and that’s where we are now

Overwatch |OT| The Reign Of Talon OT | ResetEra — she walked in, served, and killed one of the most powerful people in lore

Many people didn’t like this though. Doomfist is arguably, the strongest person lore wise in the game. Akande fought hard and took many lives to get to his position as the Doomfist, like to become the Doomfist, you have to kill the current one and take the Doomfist (how many times am I gonna have to type Doomfist??). He has almost beat Overwatch countless times, and I think he didn’t because THEY ran. He got arrested, walked straight out of jail took over Talon, then got overthrown by the random angry woman who no one really knew until now (well because she just came out in game but also, she’s pretty young). But the thing is. He isn’t really dead.

Overwatch - Doomfist Origin Story Trailer - YouTube

I can’t find pictures of his fall but look at him. He’s so evil, everything he has done is for unexplained reasons, he just starts chaos just because he’s able to. Anyway. While him and Vendetta are fighting, he falls out of the building. We never see his body. In game map changes have shown that the news is looking for him. He’s still alive… There are many theories about this. Some thinks he did die, others are convinced that he allowed Vendetta to win just to see the chaos unfold, others just hate Vendetta idk. Anyway, she’s making big moves, and three members of Talon have left because they don’t want to work with Vendetta. Too bad that doesn’t matter because every organization in the game is evil, except Overwatch and the Wayfinder Society, and they all work with Talon, except like null sector and like the deep-sea raiders. I was gonna do a blog on all the organizations, but there’s too many…. Moral is, Overwatch is making big moves, story and gam wise, and I’m so excited for what’s to come.

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Dead Poets Society in Retrospect

Released in 1989, Dead Poets Society is a cult classic movie about boyhood, creativity, and mental health. The screenplay was written by Tom Schulman and the movie was directed by Peter Weir. The film starred popular actors in their youth, such as Ethan Hawke, Robert Sean Leonard, and the late Robin Williams. There are many topics that the film handles extremely well, which is why it has become such a cult classic and fan favorite through multiple generations. However, there are still many issues with the film that have been ignored and looked over in its popularity. In this blog, I will be discussing the successes and failures of this movie, as well as how I personally would change things up.

For those who may not know, Dead Poets Society is about a group of wealthy, white men who are in their senior year at a prestigious private boarding school. The film also takes place somewhere around 1959-1960, which is another aspect of context that I find particularly important. The film discusses a number of themes, though the central focus is around these young men breaking out of the status quo and seizing the day, so they might seize their whole life.

Many of the main characters feel bound to the expectations of their fathers- other rich white men with successful careers. Multiple characters express the dread they feel, knowing their future had been completely orchestrated by their parents and they’re cursed with following in their father’s footsteps. For characters like Neil Perry (played by Robert Sean Leonard), this expectation is too much. Neil has dreams of pursuing theater and acting, as he has a strong love for the arts. However, Neil’s father forbids this life and expects his son to follow after him.

Neil’s character is a perfect example of the successes of Dead Poets Society. Neil Perry is a creative, light hearted, and extroverted person. He is brave enough to go against his father’s wishes and audition for a local production of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Throughout the movie, Neil is shown to be happy and carefree. He is caring and kind toward his friends, he does well in school, he gets along with others. When he gets to perform in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Neil is shown to be truly and completely happy. His friends attend the performance and get to enjoy it with him. However, Neil’s father is also there. After the play, Neil’s father takes him home and threatens him with military school. Neil feels stuck. He truly believes that he’ll never be able to live his true self, because of his father. This realization and subsequent dread leads Neil to suicide.

Neil Perry is a uniquely perfect example of what depression and suicidal ideation can look like in people. The movie does an excellent job at showing how free Neil feels on stage and pursuing his love for acting, as well as the horrid contrast of the life his parents have forced upon him. The movie shows what is truly at stake for Neil if he follows after his father. Neil’s rebellion- acting in the play, starting the dead poets society- has true purpose and meaning within the film and his character.

The other characters in Dead Poets Society are not nearly as well rounded. For example, Charlie Dalton is more or less the comedic relief of the movie. He is crude and charismatic. He wants to rebel against his dad and against the higher ups at his school, but he doesn’t truly pursue that rebellion. There is nothing truly revolutionary about Charlie’s beliefs. In fact, he’s pretty racist and misogynistic. He only cares about breaking the status quo when it suits him.

Similarly, Knox Overstreet is another character who falls flat in his revolutionary beliefs. He objectifies women and gropes a girl he allegedly is in love with, while she’s in a relationship with someone else. He also completely abandons his friends to try and pursue a girl who wants nothing to do with him. On top of all of that, he doesn’t seem all too interested in rebelling against the system at all. He is aware of how the world serves him, as he is a wealthy white man, and he’s content with keeping it that way.

There are characters who, while not detrimental in their characteristics, fall flat and could’ve been much more compelling. Stephen Meeks and Gerrad Pitts (I put them together because they are inseparable in the movie and in how they’re written) are both extremely smart and have a lot of opportunities open for them because of that. Pitts talks about possibly going to Yale. He and Meeks engineer an illegal radio so they can listen to music and dance in their free time. They are both supportive of Neil’s dead poets society and avidly participate in meetings. However, we don’t get to know much more about them besides these things. In my opinion, these two could’ve provided a whole different perspective to the revolutionary beliefs shared throughout the movie. The two characters inspired one of my own short stories, specifically the radio that they created and the implications of this creation. I truly feel these two had much more potential, but they were washed to the background by Knox and Charlie.

Similarly, Todd Anderson is a wonderfully written character who struggles with anxiety, family issues, and the expectations of him to become just like his older brother. He also grows extremely close with Neil Perry, to the point there is speculation about the nature of their friendship. The two were extremely close and, after learning about Neil’s death, Todd is lost and distraught. Throughout the movie, we get to see Todd embrace his talent as a poet and become more and more confident in himself. However, we don’t get to know much more about him. To some extent, we only really see him through how he affects others. We see how he cares for and assists Neil Perry. We see how he inspires their teacher, Mr. Keating. We see how the other dead poets society members appreciate him. We don’t get to hear how he feels or what he wants. His character could’ve provided much more to the plot as a whole if we got to hear more from him and his perspective.

While a controversial character, I also feel that Richard Cameron could’ve provided more to the story. I appreciate the inclusion of a character who is anxious or simply against his friend’s desire to rebel and break the rules. I wish there was more to why he feels this way though. He is shown to be a teacher’s pet and a snitch, but we don’t get to know why. I wish we could’ve learned more about him and his motives.

So, how would I change things? For one, I would rewrite Knox and Charlie’s characters in their near entirety. While I completely understand and agree that some characters can and are racist and misogynistic, especially in stories that are meant to mirror the real world. However, I don’t think those characters are needed in this story. In fact, I think they draw away from the entire message and moral of Dead Poets Society. I would add more to the other characters I’ve mentioned and expand more on their beliefs and motives.

Generally, I feel that this movie is missing a lot of motive. Neil is the only character where it’s clear why he wants to rebel and break the rules. He has a true, life or death reason. The other characters sort of just fall in suit behind him, because he’s their friend. I wish we got to learn more about each of the boys, even if it was just small bits of characterization, so we could understand why they want to break the rules. Similarly, they love to complain about becoming doctors and lawyers like their dads, but they never talk about what they really want from life. Neil and Todd are the only ones who seem to know what they want from life. Everyone else just seems angry for no reason, and it makes everything else in the plot seem similarly weak.

On top of all of this, this movie takes place in the late fifties/early sixties and follows a group of privileged white men as they complain about the extremely privileged and fortunate life that they’re being “forced” to live. While I understand the basic idea that’s being conveyed here, I feel like it fails to properly portray it. It’s hard to sympathize with these characters because they have it so good, yet that’s not good enough for them. Again, this would feel a lot different if we got to know more about them and got to understand what exactly they’re missing out on in life. But we don’t. So it all just feels … meh.

Anyways, I haven’t watched this movie in a couple years. I used to watch it all the time, back in middle school. It meant a lot to me back then and I still love it now. It has inspired a number of my short stories and poems and is the whole reason I got back into poetry in 8th grade. However, it has its faults. I wanted to reflect on said faults, while also reflecting on the aspects of it that I did enjoy. Don’t let this blog fool you, I do love Dead Poets Society. I’m just viewing it with a more skeptical eye, now that my rose-colored glasses have lifted.

analog bags and lack of will

A new trend has surfaced on my feed. I felt like it was a good subject for a blog post because it relates to a past post. Analog bags. An analog bag is basically an expensive bag filled with devices and knick-knacks meant to keep people off their phone. Even though I have employed somewhat of the same idea myself, I believe it is blatant over-consumption, packaged up in a pretty bow of feigned superiority.

The decentralization of phones is something I wholeheartedly subscribe to, it’s the lack of actual behavioral change that irks me. Most of the time, when we reach for our phones, it’s to satisfy our brains. The quick hits of dopamine that come from endlessly scrolling on Instagram or TikTok have become a way to destress or to avoid something. It’s difficult to break out of this cycle, but it makes it even harder to get out cold turkey when we simply replace it with things that don’t produce a similar reaction in our brains. This lack of dopamine often brings us back to the cycle within days or weeks, and that expensive bag of other devices or items that you bought specifically for getting away from your phone is now forgotten and relegated to a dark corner of disinterest. And most of the time, people are only doing it to tote their “chronically offline” lifestyle as a medal of honor to hold over people’s heads. It feels like a taunt when the ones who are actually doing the work to move away from social media and the slot-machine-from-hell that is the algorithm get lumped into this group. When self-improvement stems from disingenuous intent like this, it makes other movements seem just as fabricated. It also adds to the over-consumption that plagues the globe when influencers create a trend that is so heavily supported by the buying of new things. Most videos I’ve seen have recommended buying from the Amazon storefront linked in their bio, when it would be so much easier to take an old bag and buy from thrift stores and rent books from libraries. These endless pits that we throw our money into won’t improve us no matter how much we spend if we don’t do the work to improve our behavior. You have to do the work to change the habit or it will just lead you to seek that dopamine from other, maybe worse sources.