Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog, it feels like it has been forever since I have written one of these bad boys. As the title says, I will be picking a line of lyrics from ONE song per artist on my Spotify’s current top ten artists and talking about them a little bit. 

10. The Smashing Pumpkins

“and I stumbled onto you as you stumbled over me, and you say the fates were cruel for throwing us together. I always loved you so, especially when you’d go ‘all the world must know. all the world must know That I loved you so” – Pennies

The Smashing Pumpkins always seem to know the greatest way to say what they want to say. Pennies is one of my favorite songs by them. 

9. Third Eye Blind

“And I’m hanging on your words like I always used to do, the words they use so lightly, I only feel for you, I only know this because I carry you around,
In the background.” – The Background 

This is probably my favorite Third Eye Blind song. The way that it is performed just makes the listener feel like they’re the ones in the background. I find the lyrics so sweet and sad, almost like sweet-sad. 

8. The Smiths

“There were times when I could have murdered her. But you know, I would hate
for anything to happen to her”

Okay, these lyrics are a little more silly than the others seen on this list, but that’s why they are my favorite. Girlfriend in a coma is my favorite song by the Smiths, so it’s only fair that these lyrics also happen to be my favorite. 

7. The Beatles

“Why she had to go, I don’t know. She wouldn’t say, I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.”

The Beatles will always be classic, but somehow whenever I listen to this song I just seem to feel something new every time. It’s even more special considering the fact that the Beatles have so many different songs with such powerful lyrics. 

6. Red Hot Chili Peppers

“I liked your whiskers, and I liked the dimple in your chin, your pale blue eyes. You painted pictures ‘Cause the one who hurts can give so much you gave me such.” – Tearjerker

Although this isn’t my favorite Chili Peppers song, I always loved these lyrics because of how unconditional they seem. I definitely don’t have pale blue eyes, but the dimple in my chin feels very appreciated. 

5. Alice in Chains

“Am I wrong? Have I run too far to get home? Have I gone and left you here alone?” – Would?

Again, this isn’t my favorite Alice in Chains song, but it is one whose lyrics really show out to me. An honorable mention is Nutshell (my favorite) because of how those lyrics apply to Layne Staley. These are both so good.

4. Jeff Buckley

“Her love is a rose, pale and dying. Dropping her petals in land unknown, all full of wine, the world before her was sober with no place to go.” – Forget Her

I bet you guys didn’t think I would pick this song because of another super popular song of his. Jeff Buckley is probably one of my favorite lyricists of all time. It was so hard to just pick one line and this isn’t even the best one, it is simply my favorite. 

3. Pink Floyd

“We’re just two lost souls, swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears. Wish you were here” – Wish You Were Here

This one’s pretty basic as far as Pink Floyd songs go, but there is something about it that simply just scratches my brain. The poetry complemented by  David Gilmore’s passionate vocals and killer 12-string guitar just creates a perfect image in my head and a memorable experience.

2. Ghost

“She said, ‘if you had life eternal… Can you hear me say your name forever?
Can you see me longing for you forever? Would you let me touch your soul forever? Can you feel me longing for you forever, forever?” – Life Eternal

Everyone should know by now that Ghost is one of my favorite bands. This is one of their more ballad-like songs, and gosh it just makes me curl my toes. I feel like I’m ascending when I listen to this song. It is so passionate and corresponds to the band’s lore so well. 

1. Slipknot

“So, break yourself against my stones, and spit your pity in my soul” – Snuff

Snuff is, in my opinion, the best Slipknot song on the scale of lyricism. Corey Taylor wrote this song about how the protagonist’s soul is too dark to let love in and is telling somebody that they care about to get away from them for their own well-being. I found the concept easily understandable but also profound in a way that I never get tired of. 

Thank you for reading this month! I will see you all next time. <3

(Trigger warning for death, mass killing, and visceral descriptions.)

I know this is the first time I’ve broken my chain of world-building blogs in a while, but I don’t care. This topic has been boring a hole in my brain and I need to say something about it or else my appendix is gonna combust by the end of the month.

Now, if you don’t know much about Elden Ring or its lore, then this post probably isnt for you. 

Anyway, more specifically the topic I wanted to talk about is one of the six possible endings in Elden Ring: the Frenzied Flame Ending.

To sum it up, the ending essentially brings the destruction of the world. Your character inherits the Frenzied Flame, burns down the Erd Tree, and kills almost everyone and everything. It’s implied that nothing will ever exist again, and the world is made eternally sterile. 

Obviously, this ending is considered among the worst of the six, and it’s no wonder. Not only due to the blatantly evil outcome, but also its build-up. In order to achieve the ending you need to steal people’s eyes, feed them to an innocent blind girl (who eventually dies as a result), take orders from an insane ghost named Shabriri who is obsessed with destroying the world- who has also possessed the dead body of your friend, and you then need to strip naked and have a giant 3 fingered hand that’s also on fire hug you. If that sounded absolutely nonsensical, then that’s a good sign you’re a sane person.

However, it’s my personal favorite ending. With further context, it becomes the most thought-provoking question a game has ever asked me, and I think it’s criminal that people only see it at its surface level. 

This all leads back to the in-game origin of the Frenzied Flame, which is a haunting story both due to its subject matter and how realistic it is. 

A religious minority (the Merchants) was wrongfully accused of committing heresy by the standards of the people in power. As a result, they were all rounded up and systematically killed in a mass holocaust. When the people in power realized their mistake, they quietly swept their sins under the rug and sealed whatever was left of the Merchant people in the Catacombs, where the Merchants starved, fell into despair, and eventually went mad. Only a few individuals were able to avoid the wretched fate that befell their kin, and they were thrown to the wind— grasping at the few fragments of their lost culture and eventually piecing together the story I’m telling you now. 

What does this have to do with the Frenzied Flame? Well, while the Merchants were locked away in the Catacombs they pleaded for something— anything to save them. They screamed for their suffering to end. And when their brothers and sisters began to die around them, and their vocal cords became too shot to scream they did the only thing left they could, they played their violins. With emaciated fingers, they orchestrated a melancholic tune that told of better days when their race wasn’t doomed to extinction. Their voices of anguish and miserable melodies congealed together and formed something new to end it all. Something to burn away all the suffering and pain of the world so it could never spring forth again, the Frenzied Flame. 

The people that follow the Frenzied Flame for little more than chaos and evil like Shabrirri are missing the point. The Frenzied Flame isnt a malevolent force hellbent on killing for the sake of killing, it is a merciful hand turning the final page of a harrowing story that has run its course. It lulls the sick and demented world of Elden Ring into a silent peaceful slumber in the same way we put down an ill dog so as to not extend its suffering. 

The question it poses, at least to me is “Does this world where so much untold suffering is able to form justify its own existence? Does the good of it all outway the bad, or is that just what the few comfortable people think so we can sleep at night? What about the children bleeding out in the ditches of a war-torn country? What about the leprose whose wounds are rotting as we speak? what about all the people to have ever died a slow and painful death throughout all of history? Would it not have been better for them to have never lived than to have lived and suffered?”

To conclude this little rant, I want to say I’ve always considered myself an optimist. And while I don’t agree with the Frenzied Flame, I still find it valuable to answer these questions it poses in a way that doesn’t paint the world in black-and-white ink. Because by all means, I  don’t think the Frenzied Flame is “evil” just a misconstrued view of morality that is concrete enough to warrant further inspection.

I’ll also leave two links to both the in-game violin song and a rendition of it, as I think it adds to the heightened emotion of this subject.

hello, blog, and hello, 2023! this month’s blog is something kind of silly, but inspiration struck me for it, and i knew it’d be fun to write! i’m going to be discussing the latest horror sensation, m3gan, and what other villains i think she could defeat. 

yesterday, i watched m3gan for the first time in a theatre, and it was one of the best movie experiences i’ve had in a while. i won’t spoil anything here, but i’ll say that even though it was undeniably unsettling and creepy, i haven’t laughed as hard as i did watching that in a long, long time. i mean, you know a movie is good if your friend has to get up and leave the room because they’re laughing so hard.

despite the comedic moments, at the end of the day, m3gan is no doubt a stone-cold killer. she’s extremely durable and strong and is equipped with limitless intelligence. this led me to think about what makes a horror villain truly effective like she is. eventually, the formula for this blog came together–i thought of my favorite horror villains and chose to decide if i think they could defeat her in a hypothetical fight! of course, this is in no particular order.

michael myers from halloween

one of my favorite horror movies is halloween, and there’s no denying that michael myers is one of the coolest, most dangerous villains ever. he’s very large and incredibly strong. once you’re in his grasp, there’s really no chance of survival. he’s essentially a killing machine with no compassion. so, why do i think that a 4 foot robot doll could take him down?

one word–intelligence. admittedly, if michael surprise-attacked m3gan, he could likely give her a run for her money, but the likelihood of that happening is really slim. because of her artificial intelligence, nothing really gets past her. she could even use her short stature to her own advantage and knock michael down. once she does that, it’s over for him. those robotic hands can move like lightning–and if she has a weapon, michael stands no chance at all.

turns out, what haddonfield police really needed to take down michael myers was a children’s toy.

m3gan’s chance of success: 8/10

pennywise from it

this classic horror clown has terrified readers and audiences for years with his creepy looks and affinity for violence. he mainly targets the kids of derry, which makes it easy for him to overpower his victims. in this case, however, that’s exactly what would lead to his demise.

m3gan dolls are designed to be a friend and protector for whatever child they belong to, and they have been known to take out anyone who harms that child. so, if pennywise ever decided to set his sights on a kid with a m3gan doll…his career and life would be swiftly ended, i believe.

in this case, i think the main weapon m3gan would be able to use wouldn’t necessarily be her physical strength or intelligence. i think she’d rely more on her ability to communicate and her lack of fear.

as the losers club learns later in life, pennywise’s most primal need is fear, and his most vulnerable weakness is ridicule. the less you fear him, and the more you mock him, the less power he has, until he eventually crumbles. m3gan is gifted with the ability to absolutely verbally drag people that she doesn’t like. give her five minutes alone with pennywise, and he’ll be nothing more than a puddle of watery clown makeup.

m3gan’s chance of success: 9/10

annie wilkes from misery

my favorite stephen king novel, and one of my favorite movies of his! i think that annie is a brilliantly written villain, and she’s horrifying in her own special way. however, much of her evil doings do depend on the vulnerability of her victims. as a nurse, she had access to sick and injured patients, and with paul sheldon, he was bedridden. if she had an active…lively opponent like m3gan, i think she’d be easily defeated.

honestly, i could see annie having a m3gan doll purely for her own entertainment. she’s a lonely person, and i think having someone to always listen and obey her orders would be right up her alley. if anything ever went sideways, though, getting rid of annie would be child’s play for m3gan. (yes, i did that on purpose.)

she could pretty much just use her physical strength and durability to fight annie. i doubt annie would be able to do much damage to m3gan or defend herself well.

m3gan’s chance of success: 10/10

norman bates from psycho

there is absolutely no doubt whatsoever in my mind that miss m3gan could obliterate norman bates in any context. now, norman is definitely creepy, and i’d never want to meet him in a dark alley; but i definitely don’t consider him to be a particularly brilliant or effective villain in the practical sense. he did some horrible things, but he is just so very vulnerable and weak. his ego hangs by a string on the verge of tearing, and his track record with women is so dismal that it causes him to resent them to the point of dreadful awkwardness.

m3gan could do no more than make one of her passive aggressive comments, and he’d probably perish on the spot. however, all the rest of her attributes would also guarantee her victory. she’s capable of overpowering him intellectually, physically, emotionally, and probably even spiritually if it came to that. he does not have a singular chance, in this life or the next, of escaping or surviving m3gan’s wrath.

m3gan’s chance of success: 10/10

esther from orphan

i just recently saw orphan and its sequel for the first time, and i’m obsessed. esther is one of the most interesting villains to me, and upon seeing m3gan for the first time, i couldn’t help but wonder who would win in a brawl. this presents an interesting scenario because the chances of esther and m3gan being paired together are actually pretty high. i can definitely see a situation where a family gets a m3gan doll for esther. i think that they’d be onto each other’s bad behavior, and it would lead to an epic showdown.

though, esther is extremely intelligent, m3gan’s intelligence is literally unlimited. she can outsmart her easily. they’re about the same size, but m3gan’s machinery would do a number on esther. once again, m3gan’s got it in the bag.

m3gan’s chance of success: 8.5/10

thanks for reading this silly blog, and have a good new year!

hello, blog! this month, i’ll be talking about something extremely important to me–ocd awareness. for those who don’t know, i’ve suffered from severe obsessive compulsive disorder my entire life. it’s not something that i talk about very much–not because i’m embarrassed or ashamed, simply because i don’t always feel the need to share that part of me with everyone. if and when i do share with someone that i have ocd, it’s typically because i think they deserve an explanation for certain behaviors or because i trust them a great deal. with this post, though, i’m breaking that habit, that subconscious secrecy, because i need to address something that’s been weighing very heavily on my heart and mind–the use of ocd as a punchline or buzzword.

we’ve all heard it at least once. can you straighten those books? i’m ocd about that. sorry, i’m so ocd. i love to clean, i must be ocd. typically, these words are harmless. there’s no ill intent behind them, no malice or offence to be taken. for people with the disorder, however, (or at least me, personally) these words can feel like a gut-punch. i cannot accurately describe how hurtful it is to me to hear someone talk about this disorder like it’s a trivial thing or a personality trait. ocd is not all about tidiness and cleaning. it’s not all about tapping and light switches and numbers. yes, those can be and often are parts of it, but that’s all they are–parts. a person wouldn’t say i lost my keys, i’m so alzheimer’s. in fact, just reading that sentence probably made you angry, or, at the very least, cringe. i know i felt that way writing it. that is akin to the feeling of hearing someone use ocd incorrectly. ocd is not and adjective. your words matter. they have the power to empower and to invalidate. it’s your choice.

now that we’ve established what ocd isn’t, let’s talk a bit about what it is. in my own words, obsessive compulsive disorder is a crippling, life-threatening mental disorder. it is a stealer of joy, peace, and wellness. it’s a daily battle. a horrific disease that takes your sense of security, your trust in others and yourself, your faith in humanity and, sometimes, even God. it’s your worst fears playing on an eternal, repetitive loop in your head. by no means is it a cute personality trait or quirk. 

 Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. on helpguide.com gave this description, which i find super accurate and helpful:

“It’s normal, on occasion, to go back and double-check that the iron is unplugged or worry that you might be contaminated by germs, or even have an occasional unpleasant, violent thought. But if you suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors become so consuming they interfere with your daily life.

OCD is characterized by uncontrollable, unwanted thoughts and ritualized, repetitive behaviors you feel compelled to perform. If you have OCD, you probably recognize that your obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors are irrational—but even so, you feel unable to resist them and break free.

Like a needle getting stuck on an old record, OCD causes the brain to get stuck on a particular thought or urge. For example, you may check the stove 20 times to make sure it’s really turned off because you’re terrified of burning down your house, or wash your hands until they’re scrubbed raw for fear of germs. While you don’t derive any sense of pleasure from performing these repetitive behaviors, they may offer some passing relief for the anxiety generated by the obsessive thoughts.”

to sum all this up, i’ll leave you with this–no one is perfect, and we all say the wrong thing from time to time; but the next time you catch yourself wanting to say something that could potentially harm or invalidate others, please, please, think twice.

if you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! here are some helpful resources and links for those who want to further educate themselves (which i highly encourage):

@obsessivelyeverafter on instagram

@the_ocdproject on instagram

@ocd_strong on tiktok

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

anthony padilla video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsjHaC1q4OA

beyondocd.org

NOCD

Hello everyone, and welcome back to my blogs. On a recent flight, I decided to watch (500) Days of Summer due to its popularity online and some influence from a few friends. I hate to say this because I love the music in the film, but the characters were so insufferable. 

Tom

Tom, while at first, I sympathized with him, by the end, I realized just how entitled, pretentious, and self-sabotaging he really was. At the beginning of the film, the first time Tom hears something about Summer, it is negative, and he takes that and pushes that narrative onto her until the elevator scene. He only changes his mind after she mentions that she liked The Smiths, his favorite band, and his entire personality. After that, it was all downhill. From the first mention of relationships, Summer had made it clear that she was not wanting to commit to something serious. In fact, she had stated that out-right to Tom multiple times throughout the film, but he, in his swayed perception of her, decided to keep going with it until she finally gets to the point she told him she would get to, and then blames her for the heartache he caused himself.

Summer

While my analysis of Tom was pretty harsh, I can’t make myself enjoy Summer anymore so. She reminds me of the widely-known concept of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Her only role in the movie is to be the dysfunctional indie character that is chased after, only to be lost at the end and painted to be a terrible person for marrying someone and, in turn, ruining the main character’s life. I hate the way the writers treated her character. It was as if she really didn’t have any true purpose in the film other than to drive the plot forward with no life of her own behind her. The tiny peaks we do get into her life all revolve around the main character’s interests that he has in common with her. I watched this movie maybe two weeks ago and there is nothing about her that is significant enough for me to remember, and I think that is really sad because her character had so much potential. 

Thank you all for reading this month’s blog. I will see you all after Christmas break!