Category: Senior Literary

Some people need faith. Some people need hope. Some people need animals, and some other humans. What we all need is fear.  

Faith is like closing your eyes and trusting someone to catch you if you decided to voluntarily fall backwards. Faith gives people the ability to stop thinking beyond their own mortal means. They can leave their problems behind in the hands of the universe and walk through life unbothered. I used to think this was why people sinned because blind faith made it possible for them not to worry about the scales of what good and evil are. I know now that good and evil never really existed; the concepts themselves were what people used as excuses to sin. Faith is wrapped like a blanket around people. There are so many things with the ability to kill us on planet Earth and beyond it; however, so far we’re the only intelligent enough beings to “conquer”. I think that’s why people utilize faith. It offers a way out of logical thinking. 

Hope is a door. Like the biblical metaphor, it signals that even places or situations once marked by trouble can become sources of renewal. It’s a call to act, to connect, and to believe that even after darkness, there is a way through. Hope is one of the main things people use to cope with problems. I don’t think hoping something is going to change will directly influence the situation itself, but many people do, and it’s sort of like manifesting one’s own consciousness onto the universe and force it to do your will. I think it’s a cool concept but nonetheless a cheap trick meant to allude humans for their eventual impending doom once again. It’s to soften the blow when things go awry and simply just that. 

 I think fear is the only thing in this universe actually useful. Only those strong enough to fear can understand the true makings of the universe. I only admire fear and the way it’s used to manipulate human beings. Fear is the whole reason we must invent concepts like faith and hope. Humans fear everything naturally, but that’s because we don’t know everything. Humans would rather follow a blind man screaming and orange than accept their own natural truths.  

I think I like fear so much because, when used in the right hands, it controls people. It makes people powerful. Fear is a collar and leash, and so many end up opposite the leash. The collar is made for those who no longer want fear. The collar lets fear be baptized and renamed into “hope”. The leash is for those who can handle: The empty feeling, the concept of good and bad, and the space. Those who understand the vital use of fear to control are conquerors. Controlling fear doesn’t even inherently make you “bad” or “good”. It means your willingness to sacrifice, hurt, lie, and do what’s necessary to evolve into something bigger than yourself. Fear is inside all of us; it’s natural and drives our instincts. We embrace it and live out its will. Fear is the basis of everything.

I think I chose fear for this blog because I realized fear was in everything. it motivated our reactions. It told us to say or do certain things. It moves our bodies out of instinct. Fear is living. 

Fear is being disciplined. I know that having control is having fear inside your heart. Once our bodies become free of fear, then it becomes free of the very things keeping us alive and we become killable to everything around us. I think the very best leaders are always scared. I think that every god we worship is out of fear once you pull back the layers. I think that if I were to open my own brain and go to my very first thought there would be fear growing alongside me.

This week a lot happened so this blog is about how staying to yourself or even taking up for yourself can be a good thing but I guess also a bad thing. Yes I’m talking about staying to myself because that’s all I would say that’s the best thing to do for real when the school has so many things to say. But I would say sometimes it’s best to turn the other cheek even if they try to get everyone to look at you differently. Sometimes people do it just because they don’t have anything better to do, who knows. 

Something I learned this week is that even the people you stick your neck out for will turn on you for no reason. My sister was talking about how when she had close friends in college but when they heard people talk bad about her they just laughed and said nothing. She had to stand up for herself and why doing that she was so called fake for cutting them people off. Sometimes cutting off the people that seem close can be good. God has made people see things they don’t want to see just to help them realize not all people can be the people you can count on. Yea, 

Why am I talking about this? I’ll tell you why. A lot of people have looked me up and down and swear I’m the one that does this and that, how I don’t know my damn self. All I do is chill with different people and watch pine drama. Maybe a little back and forth with people about games while laughing. How I get into drama I don’t know. I would say a lot of people know I hate making people feel some type of way, because that would make me feel some type of way but I guess I need to try to change that.  Me being the person I am now. I guess it’s nice. 

I never thought growing up would be so weird to the point where I gotta change how I see people or change how I talk to people. I guess you learn something everyday, right? LOL. Anywho, I’m hopping I can make the year peaceful and fun. Me personally, I could care less how people see me or even if they lie on me. I just wanna make it through high school and get to USM and become a great Social worker.

Also, if you think you need to stand up for yourself, then do it. Sometimes not standing up for yourself might make them think you not go do nothing or let them feel like they can say anything about you  and get away with it. No they can’t, them talking down just makes them some pigs. Make them some holes (if you get it you get, if not oh well). But Stand up for yourself, never let people think little of you. 

That’s this week’s blog queens. Till next time. TTYL

Haven’t been able to watch the Ghosts movie. I erm. Shrugs. Guess y’all get to hear about my journey to lessen screen time. Buckle in because it’s a LOT of stuff I’ve started doing.

I guess I’ll start with my current favorite thing that I’m working on right now. JOURNALING!!!! Yes. The thing that we were supposed to do every day last year? Yeah I’m doing that by choice. And yeah. I’m fweaking loving it. It’s so helpful for coming up with writing ideas or getting emotions out. It’s almost like… everyone ever has recommended journaling, and it’s actually a good thing?? Yeah YEAH yeah. Whatever. Just let me talk about it, okay? Journaling is something that I’ve tried about one million billion times in the past. Like I have TRIED, but it never seemed to stick. I don’t actually know why I started journaling again. It just felt good. It felt good to write… And that writing got me off my phone. Being off my phone made me to want to start writing in my journal even more. Didn’t even mean to do that. Just got creative or whateva…

Even though the journaling thing was an accident, this next thing wasn’t. That thing is EMBROIDERY! I haven’t been able to embroider in a bit because my current project is at home, but I’ve fallen in love with embroidery thread. Mostly I’ve been using it for friendship bracelets… shut up. It’s a nice repitetive motion! I need guides and stuff so it didn’t work super well… but I’m still having a grand time with it!

Right now I’m working on a project that was completely an accidental “off the phone” strat. It’s something fun called HAND SEWING MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME THE WEEK OF HALLOWEEN. I know I’ve complained about this to some of you, but I promise I’m having a lot of fun. Sewing requires a lot of attention, more than embroidery. While embroidery still has you using a needle, sewing needles hurt much much more. I’ve stabbed my shoulder so many times while trying to pin the sleeve to the middle part. Guys I am DYING. Dying of a really fun time.

Because of wanting to make my own costume, I’ve ended up on a side of YouTube that really wants me to stay off the internet and do this thing called “hobbies I enjoy”? Whatever that is. Sewing  Youtubers and just people that make think pieces are really interesting to listen to. They’re the only kinds of creators that I allow myself to watch anymore. Internet drama? Things that don’t matter? Situations I don’t care about? Commentary YouTubers I’ve been watching for years? How about ambient music, ladies who are really passionate about their analog hobbies, think-pieces, writing advice, and creative works. Yeah. Oh yeah. That’s what Papa wants to see.

I have a limit to only be on Instagram and other social apps for I think three hours. I also have a limit where I can only be on my phone until 9 pm. I ALSO have a limit where I can only be on social apps for like 15 minutes at a time. AND I deleted YouTube off my phone, so I can only watch it on my computer. I feel like a loser, but I’ve genuinely been feeling better about myself and my mental health. 

Please don’t think that I’m just spewing bullcrap. I’m not saying we should all burn our phones and run into the wild. While that would be fun for about an afternoon, I think that would lead to a lot more bad than good. 

To continue with my Hippie nonsense, my desire to get off my phone has also inspired my dad to stay off HIS phone. And my mom took up a hobby to stay off HER phone. I didn’t inspire my brother or his girlfriend because they’re the ones that inspired me to go on this journey. BOO!!! JOURNEY??? LOSER!!! Okay anyway. I feel like I’ve had more time to connect with my family because we’re more present.

This has extended to my friends. I don’t think that I’ve inspired anyone to do anything, but I’ve been more open spending time with those friends when they’re free. I’ve always had time to spend with others, but in the past I would rather just be on my stupid dumb idiot dumb phone. Now I want that thing away from me most of the time. I weened myself off with the screen time stuff and having a fun time away from my phone.

I don’t want you to get off your phone. Well I do, but I don’t want you to unless YOU want to. The force of making this kind of change is what makes it so very hard. I’m not gonna preach or anything. I’m just gonna leave this here for any of your, just in case you need inspiration to get off your talking brick. Okay. That’s enough for now. ByeBye!

For the past few days, I’ve been watching Girl, Interrupted nonstop. I’m not sure why this movie has captured my attention for the past week. Yes, it’s a good movie, and I like it (obviously), but I don’t know why I can’t stop watching or thinking about it.

If you’re unfamiliar, Girl, Interrupted is a 1999 biographical film. We, the audience, follow Susanna Kaysen throughout her time in the psych ward at Claymore Psychiatric Hospital, where she meets Daisy Randone, Polly (Torch) Clark, Georgina Tuskin, Cynthia Crowley, Lisa Rowe (my personal favorite), and Janet Webber (another favorite). Susanna tells us the story through her diary. The movie is adapted from the real-life Susanna Kasyen’s memoir telling her story of being placed in the psychiatric ward and being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

If you’re interested, I suggest taking the time to watch it. But be warned: some of the content may be triggering for obvious reasons, and the movie is set in the sixties, so some of the language may offend certain audiences.

As I mentioned previously, my favorite characters are Lisa Rowe and Janet Webber. I also like Daisy Randone; I find her story and character very interesting, especially how she is portrayed in the movie versus the book. Today I will be covering Daisy, Lisa, and Janet as pictured in the film; if you are interested, I will also cover Susanna, Polly, Georgina, and Cynthia.

Daisy Randone

Daisy Randone is an eighteen-year-old girl; she is played by the late Brittany Murphy. She is a seasonal patient at McLean Hospital. She checks in just before Thanksgiving and leaves just before Christmas. Daisy is most notable for her obsession with Rotisserie chicken and laxatives. Her father, who is implied to be abusive, brings her rotisserie chickens, which she methodically eats, before storing the carcass of the chicken and taking laxatives. She is also the only girl in the entire ward to have a room to herself. Daisy’s diagnosis is OCD. By the end of the movie, Daisy has taken her own life in the bathroom of her apartment gifted to her by her father.

Lisa Rowe

Lisa Rowe is my favorite out of all the characters in Girl, Interrupted. Lisa is played by Angelina Jolie. Lisa is, in a way, the “leader” of the ward. The girls listen to her; they both fear and admire her, despite Lisa being in the same place they are. Lisa is cocky, charismatic, manipulative, and rebellious. At the start of the movie, you’re completely captivated by her character. You want to see more of her. At least, that’s how it was for me. Despite how cruel she could be, I kept wanting to see more of her character- I suppose that’s where the charisma Jolie displayed comes into play. Lisa’s diagnosis is sociopathy; she has been at the institution since she was twelve, escaping numerous times and coming back.

Janet Webber

Out of all the characters we’re discussing today, we know the least about Janet Webber, played by Angela Bettis. What the audience does know is that she is twenty years old and anorexic. She is believed to be a former ballerina. Janet is the type to be easily irritated and upset.

I hope you enjoyed reading this blog, and I hope I may have swayed you into watching Girl, Interrupted if you haven’t, and re-watching it if you have. It’s a good movie to watch or just put on as background noise. If you have watched it, tell me what you think about it and who your favorite character(s) are. Thanks for reading, Caio

Lately I’ve been thinking about the concept of time. How life is fleeting, and no matter what you do, or what you say, or how you handle situations, time will continue going, and the curse (or blessing, depending on if you are an optimist or not) of forgetfulness will eventually catch up with you. It will take and take and take until you are nothing but food for worms and fertilizer for plants. Is it worth it to meddle in situations to make yourself feel better, or find a glimpse of peace in the constant movement of life? Is it worth it to yell, and scream, and shout, and run out of breath or words that explain how you feel, until you are nothing but a shell of your former self? Is it worth it to pity yourself? Talk to your friends about how you didn’t deserve whatever effects you negatively that day? No. It’s all a waste of time. 

It’s fine to wallow. Sometimes it’s actually what is needed for your own well being– but when does wallowing become harmful? When does it become another harmful habit, alongside sugar and cigarettes? When does wallowing begin to become a parasite, filling your mind with anything but positivity? See, I like to write poetry about how I feel. I turn that poetry into assignments, competitions, or my personal projects, but lately words don’t seem to transfer to paper how I want it to. I end up wasting time by thinking about how to write. I tend to forget that writing is engraved into my soul. 

I forget that writing doesn’t have to be perfect, or neat, or precise. It can be a representation of my messy, disorganized brain. I don’t have to pick and pull and revise every bit of what I do. I can turn off my filter, pick up my pencil, and be free to express the things I’ve deemed too scary to talk about. I’m not good with reading my work to people, or talking about how I feel without crying. I’m not sure why, but it’s always felt so personal. So close and dear, that when I share I feel like I’m spilling secrets I swore not to repeat. I digress. I think a lot about how others see me. Am I loud or eccentric? Quiet and mellow? Do I feel generic? These thoughts, however, prove to be another big waste of time. 

This way of thinking may not be the healthiest, but it is, however, the most realistic. When will I ever settle with the thought that the time I’ve spent thinking about time will never be retrievable? And when will I feel content being stuck in my own mind most days? When will derealization turn into an escape rather than this hell I’m forced into? I know this blog isn’t like my usual ones, but I have found that I cannot write about anything else right now. My brain is speeding at a million miles per hour, yet I feel like I’m moving too slow. In the blink of an eye, it will be Christmas. I wish that just for one second, I could sit down and find a way to force contentness, until the feeling is genuine. I know I am not the only one who feels or has felt this way, so maybe someone has advice for me? 

I love my life, I love my friends, I love my family, and I love MSA! I just wish I could find a way to accept the passing of time, and the forgetful nature of my mind.

Hey my loves, welcome to my second blog of this year. In this blog I’m going to be talking about my sweet little juniors! Well not just my juniors. I’m going to be talking about a lot of them. To be more specific, the ones I fell in love with. The juniors here are so cool here. I thought they would be shy and we would need to help them get out of their shell or something but nope.  They low key was already part of the family. Like when I say they act like some of us it’s funny. 

Let’s start with the literary juniors. They are such cool dudes and really good at what they do. They are also so sweet and would be gladly to help someone out without even asking or having a second thought. So my favorite thing that I have done with some of the juniors would be, how every night we are on the 2nd floor just playing games and watching tv. We would just be down on the 2nd floor just laughing while playing around and singing. The way we sing is like we’re going crazy, just yelling at the top of our lungs like we’re gonna die or something. I remember when we were so loud one night and we got yelled at so many times.

Not only are the literary that cool but also all the other juniors are just as cool. I really like how they just vibe with us. They really just clicked with us  and I feel like that’s something we didn’t really do as juniors with our seniors didn’t do with us when school started. I love how everything just always ended up being just the literary being on the 2nd floor and like two vocals lol. 

I hope that this year will be way different than last year, when everyone hangs out. So far it’s been different and I like it. I don’t know about the rest of the kids here but me, baby I love it. Even in class with the juniors is fun. Last year  I didn’t really laugh as much, I didn’t even talk in class for real. But this year with the juniors I talk a lot and I be killing myself laughing in class.  I also like that they can trust us and can come to us whenever they feel like they have a problem going on or they just come to us when they need help on something. Unlike last year the juniors even gave a lot of us seniors some nicknames. Like mine is (I can’t spell it but I’m going to try lol) my nickname is Jaleighsha.  I don’t know how I got but oh well it’s stuck now and I’m starting to like it, it makes me laugh now. 

I can’t wait to see how the rest of the year with these kids. Anyway that is my weekly blog. Thank you for reading it hoped you enjoyed it.

Xoxo-The Queen/Jaleigha 

I….. I’m back. I’m back to GHOSTING. Deeper dive into Detroit Become Human will have to wait. Until November. BECAUSE GHOSTS: POSSESSION OF BUTTON HOUSE COMES OUT ON OCTOBER 23RD!!! 

This poster was the first one I saw. It brought tears to my eyes, and I am not being dramatic. I was so exited I cried. Just y’all wait because there’s more of me crying in this post. If y’all couldn’t tell from all of my posts last year, I REALLY like Ghosts. A lot. A ton. Oh my god like this poster was ground breaking for me. It’s only their back’s and Julian’s butt but MAN.

This one… This one came out yesterday (I wrote this post a week before blogs were due). It came out yesterday. And I posted it on my Instagram story twice. And I’m STILL staring at it. It’s so beautiful. Just look at it. I first saw it on Ben Willbond’s Instagram page, but I wasn’t able to repost it! The man’s page is private! I mean, it’s private with him literally letting in anyone who wants to follow him. But still. Private account so I couldn’t repost it to my story. Had to take a screenshot so I could scream about it publicly! Thank you Jim Howick for NOT being a private account. 

With that poster…. Then came the greatest thing ever the next day. 

LOOK! LOOK AT JULIAN!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S A FREAKING TRAILER!! THE DAY AFTER THE THE THE POSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GODUHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Now, being the man I am, I watched it twice this morning. While I was getting ready after breakfast. I’m actually watching it as a write this post. Everyone’s so cute and oh my gosh. Oh my goodness gravy gracious. 

I really love that Julian was the one they chose to leave the house!!! I am really curious on why he ran to Allison… I love her but like whaattt is she gonna do?? I’m also really curious about the extra shots we got to see of The Captain, Pat, Fanny, and Thomas. Like Cap’s has a little ability of being a flashback, Pat’s looks like an actual flashback for realsies, Fanny’s looks like a situation she would find herself in, and then… Thomas’s. Uh?? Whatever’s happening there.

The kid who Julian possessed by the way… oh I’m giggling. He’s done such a good job with the voice change and the mannerisms. It’s not exact exact, but he’s really funny. See a bright future with that one. Giggle. Anyway.

Allison and Mike’s baby who I forgot the name of? THE CUTEST THING EVER!!! Mike carrying her around. I cannot. We got ONE episode of them being parents. I’m glad we’ve got a glimpse of it in the movie. Wonder who gets her while they’re on this……. adventure.

Movie’s gonna be roughly an hour and a half long. WHICH IS NOT LONG ENOUGH!!! Not at ALL! I need more. I’m so desperate for more that I’m watching Horrible Histories again. You know. The British history children’s show from 2009-2014 that I talked about a little bit last year. By the way if I’ve ever shared a random weird history fact with you, it’s because of the beautiful beautiful Horrible Histories.

Thank you Laurence Rickard’s website for this wonderful picture of Thomas, Captain, Robin, and Pat. Just wanted to share because it’s been a second without a picture in this post. ANYWAY!

I saw someone point out that The Captain’s mustache looks real instead of a fake one glued on. I think it’s real?? Ben Willbond posted a picture on Instagram with mustache out of costume. In a little QnA they did in 2020, he did NOT  have a mustache. You know who did? LAURENCE RICKARD, MATHEW BAYNTON, AND JIM HOWICK!! Heart breaking. Well it wasn’t just mustaches. They had beards. Beards in which they look fantastic in might I add. After watching that video from six years ago, Robin and Thomas look so bald. Thomas. Please. Put your chin away. Cover it with your love letter.

I’m very curious about another plot point. What are those kids doing AFTER that one kid gets possessed?? Like it’s only three with him when they’re doing the Ouija board, more when he gets possessed, and then there are some there during what looks like the day time!! Why didn’t they stop their friend, what did they tell his parents, and why are they BACK? If he’s possessed and ran away, why aren’t they after him? Is it a different night from the Ouija to the possession or were they just late?????? I’ll be so the most patient about these things being answered. Still the most curious though oh my goshness.

Was Julian possessing the kid an accident? WHY DID HE GO TO ALLISON??? Did he leave without checking on the kid’s like soul or did he just bounce out of nowhere? Would be in character for him to just leave. But then why did he go to Allison and Mike?? HOW DID HE KNOW WHERE THEY LIVED HOLD ON????

Also, last week I got a DVD collection of all five seasons of Ghosts. It was the only one at Walmart. THEY’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SOLD YET!! THE COLLECTION WASN’T AVAILABLE ON AMAZON!!! So basically… I’m the coolest guy ever actually. The disks have bloopers and interviews and it’s SO COOL!! There’s some extra stuff about the special effects!! It’s so good I’m so fed. 

Well, that was more word vomit than anything at the end. That’s okay though. It’s my show!! And my movie!! I’m so excited y’all don’t even KNOW.  Okay, well. That’s definitely exceeded the 600 word lower limit. And that’s DEFINITELY enough about my show. Go read my other post that’s ALSO about Ghosts. ByeBye!!