This Year…yeah

This year has been a wild ride. A lot has happened…Ok…enough of the coming-of-age melodramatics. In all seriousness this year did contain a lot of growing for me specifically. A lot of it is way too personal to name specifically in this blog, saving that for that one three-person group chat (this is a joke PLEASE). I have begun to shed some of my people-pleasing behavior finally, hope to God that my saying it isn’t going to jinx my future. I am sure I am going to struggle with it more in the future but at least that seems bearable now. I have connected with a lot of people and met people I sincerely hope the best for. I am not sure if I am overall more mature probably not, to be honest, still very juvenile. I have come to terms with accepting the person I am now…not that that won’t change more in the near future but I think whoever I am currently is an alright person. I think my goal of being happier has been accomplished for the most part, I definitely still have hard days but it has been looking up as of recently. I am getting out of my Peter Pan syndrome as well thank goodness. It was becoming very concerning for a moment there. I have begun to stop being so dependent on others to determine my self-worth which has also been very freeing. I have become more ok with change I think. 


Academically I am still fairly the same. Read a good amount of books this year more towards the beginning but nonetheless still proud of that. Wrote a lot as well but that was inevitable. I have been attempting to give myself more grace and allowing myself to have off days. Which at times was hard to come to terms with but I eventually was able to cope. 


I was able to immerse myself in new things and become a fan of them. I am also open to exploring new interests, broadening my horizons, and breaking my shell. Also not allowing the idea of embarrassment discourage me from enjoying myself. I think this has contributed to my overall happier demeanor recently. 


Yeah, that’s pretty much all excuse the brain dump about this year. It’s kind of a mess but at least it was honest. Share your feelings about this year if you want or don’t. 

Part idk of Cartoon Foods I want desperately


The Bugs from Lion King

I know they’re bugs and in real life that they would be disgusting but I think Simba was being so dramatic because they looked delectable. Also he could’ve shown some appreciation for them, that look is so disrespectful when they could’ve just let you starve. 

Breakfast from Fairy Odd Parents

All of the food in Fairy Odd Parents looked scrumptious. I don’t even like omelets yet I would DEVOUR that one. You see how happy they are you know that meal is about to be fire.

Burger and Burrito from Teen Titans Go

photo of burger not available


The burger and burrito from Teen Titans go looked unnecessarily good. Especially at the end when they combined them. I would do obscene things for a portion of one of them. I remember my tummy rumbling watching that episode for the first time and every episode since. 

Steak from Tom and Jerry

They way this dog was craving this stake I know it had to be good. It even has Jerry foaming at the mouth and I’m not sure mice even eat meat. One thing Tom and Jerry’s animators were going to do is draw a steak. 

Reptar Bar from Rugrats

Just they way he’s holding it makes it look good.This is what Angelica really should have been fighting for. The way they bit into it. OMG. I need it.

The Perfect Sandwhich from Teen Titans Go 

It’s literally called the perfect sandwich and I’m trying to test that theory. The bacon looks cooked to perfection. My only note is that I would prefer my bread toasted. 

Big Meatball from Wow Wow Wubzy 

THIS MEATBALL. The sauce looks absolutely perfect, it’s touching the ground which isn’t ideal but I would still inhale this. I’m saying not a trace of it would be left. 

Peanut Butter from Wow Wow Wubzy 

I absolutely DESPISE peanut butter. The very smell of it disgusts me but there’s just something about it here that looks appetizing.

Chocolate Chip Cookies from Little Bear 

 Something about the simplicity of this animation makes these cookies look good. I remember watching this show at midnight at like 8 and my stomach immediately rumbling.

Apples from Ni Hao, Kai-Lan

I don’t know what it is about these apples, maybe it’s the shine but they look so good. Especially the green ones. These are the true granny smiths I can’t name one cartoon apple competing with them.

Pizza from Bubble Guppies 

I know it looks raw but I have always wanted to try this pizza from this episode. The amount of the sauce on it looks perfect for me like I would genuinely devour this whole think with no help. I would need like two personal pans though because there’s no way this is a full sized pizza.


Shows I watched when I was little that aren’t talked about enough.

Camp Lakebottom 

My twin and I were obsessed with this show. The premise of it is basically kids at this really freaky summer camp run by monsters that are overrunning with tons of weird phenomena. I literally never hear anybody giving this show its flowers. To this day it’s one of my favorites. 


Walk the Prank 

This show is kind of like Kid Punk’d meets the office-ish. The pranks themselves are said to be real and on real people but it’s spliced together with this scripted show about kids who make a prank show. The elements of it that are scripted are shot like the office while the pranks are reminiscent of punk’d. 


The Haunted Hathaways 

I’m sure people know about this show but like why don’t we talk about it. It’s a story about this single mom and her two daughters who move into this house that they don’t know is haunted by the ghost family of a single dad and two sons. I watched this show a lot when I was little and it was mostly a hit or miss. 


Crash and Bernstein 

This is a show I never hear anybody talk about. It’s about this kid who only has sisters and he wishes for a brother so this living puppet comes and takes the role of his brother. I loved this show from the theme song to the humor. I was obsessed, there isn’t one episode that I would consider a miss. 


Gamers Guide to Pretty Much Everything 

I love video games, and I thought this show’s premise was cool. Which is just a group of kids who play competitive video games. Not to mention Cameron Boyce was in it so I definitely wanted to watch it. 

Gullah Gullah Island 

To be completely honest I couldn’t even tell you the premise of this show besides there’s this huge frog that lives with this family. And when I tell you I was PETRIFIED of this frog. It would come on late at night and I didn’t know how to turn the tv so I would just cover my eyes whenever it came on screen. 

The Fresh Beat Band 

This show is honestly a blur the most I remember is a group of teens and smoothies beyond that I couldn’t tell you but I watched it a lot. 


For some reason this show heavily intrigued me, there’s no strong premise but none of the characters speak and their actions are narrated by a narrator.

Explaining my emotions on 9 random songs AKA I have no clue what to write about.

My Girl–The Temptations 

This song makes me feel nostalgic about a time that I wasn’t even alive to experience. Something about it soothes me so deeply, whenever a movie plays it, it’s so clear to me the feeling they want to get across. Especially played in adoration for other characters. Danny Tanner sang this to D.J in an episode of Full House and it remains one of my favorite scenes from any sitcom. 

GOLDWING–Billie Eilish 

This song doesn’t really ignite that deep emotions within me so instead I’ll be talking about my interpretation of it. I interpret this song as a kind of warning to new artists who may be starting. Billie is trying to share knowledge that may prevent them from allowing the industry to take over their art form and use them. 

Real Love–Mary J. Blige

This song also ignites a very comfortable feeling within me. It reminds me of my family and spending time with them at family functions. I can just hear the women in my family’s laughter in the background while this song plays. 

My Little Love–Adele 

This song almost makes me cry every time I hear it. I can’t explain it but I just feel a mother’s love when I hear this song. It reminds me so much of my mom and I’s relationship and her love for me. 

Pretty Girls Make Graves–The Smiths 

This song fills me with a movie’s cliche interpretation of teenage angst. It makes me want to ride a skateboard in the rain at night with my friends. It just has such a sorrowful sound. 


This song was in the Bratz live-action movie and ever since the first time I have heard it, it has been stuck in my head. It’s so ridiculously catchy and just fun to listen to. Also, NLT should have been way bigger than they were they could have sold out stadiums. 

Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart-Judy Garland 

This song is also very peaceful. It reminds me of Spring. If I ever just want to feel mellow and calm this song is definitely a first pick. 

Hot for Teacher-Van Halen 

This song is very playful, I wouldn’t say it gets me hyped but it definitely wakes me up. It’s not exactly happy but it doesn’t feel serious it’s easy to smile while listening to it. 

So Close- Jenette McCurdy 

This song makes me feel very happy, it reminds me of being a little kid. It’s very reminiscent of elementary for me, when I would still look up lyric videos on Youtube to listen to music if I didn’t feel like watching whole “Vevo” music videos. 

Clumps of words I have saved in my notes app all unfinished probably forever.

I apologize in advance y’all these are a mess and probably wouldn’t have seen the light of day otherwise 

Untitled 1;

I like to think my prayers are heard by the birds. 

I like to think they listen, turn my pain into beautiful songs they chirp without shame. 

I like to think the roosters wake the world to my suffering. 

Because what is pain to feel if it always goes unrecognized? 

Maybe misery doesn’t necessarily love company as much as it hates isolation. 

My misery isn’t meek, its a lion. 

Roars when silenced and bites when tried to be kept at bay. 

Untitled 2; 

There isn’t a bird in the sky who hasn’t heard me scream to the heavens for you. 

Your absence an everlasting wound no bandage could close. 

As long as you’re gone I’ll always bleed. 

As long as your smile isn’t within sight. 

As long as your arms can’t hold me. 

My blood shall soak all thats beneath me. 

Every path I take shall be stained with red. 

Untitled 3; 

To be vain is one of the worst sins of all. 

To be vain is to be handicapped. 

It steals your ability to progress on the path to improvement. 

To be vain is to be stolen from. 

It steals your ability to truly know yourself. 

Your flaws play an important role in who you are, 

Blind yourself to that can only be a disservice. 

Maybe that is why you feel yourself compelled to harp on mistake made many moons ago. 

You musn’t forgive yourself for any wrongdoings because then that should mean you’re blinding yourself to your true nature. 

Untitled 4; 

I has befallen me, 

              Snow, a winter’s soft kiss decorates the ground in blankets beneath my feet. 

It has befallen me, 

              Sunshine, the worlds grin paints your skin illuminating you with its light. 

It has befallen me, 

               Your laugh, a glorious song in which no notes could capture

               There are no lyrics worth accompanying your beautiful melody. 

It has befallen me, 

                March’s swarm of pollen stings my eyes but paints your nose such a lovely shade of red I can’t bother to mind it. 

It has befallen me, 

               Autum’s warm pallet of brown and orange. 

Untitled 4; 

The words on my paper might as well be etched in my blood that is how much they are apart of me. 

Short Story: Part 1.

Finely was a joyful boy, especially when he was younger, he’d find himself running through the woods behind his house for hours on end playing the role of whatever game he had made up that day. Even if no one wanted to play with him it was alright his imagination was more than enough to keep him entertained. Until he met Delilah, he found here one day all by her lonesome just picking flowers and quietly humming a little song to herself, not one he could recognize immediately but it sounded so familiar. He went up to her and tried to introduce himself, the best way a ten-year-old boy knew how. They quickly became friends; Delilah didn’t talk much but that wasn’t a problem for Finely he could talk in circles and Delilah was always willing to listen. When Delilah would speak her voice would demand attention, it wasn’t exactly loud or commanding but he found it so entrancing, she spoke like a song, and he couldn’t help but listen. 

As they got older, he began seeing her less and less, until one day when he was fourteen, he went out to find her, but she was nowhere to be found, he yelled her name till his voice was hoarse, but he got no answer. He repeated this cycle for almost 4 months before he gave up, he couldn’t tell his parents about because they didn’t know about Delilah in fact no one did, it was one of their “friendship rules”, that he couldn’t tell anyone about her, they were eleven at the time and sure he was curious about why but he didn’t harp on it too much, as time passed he did get more curious about Delilah, where she lived, where her parents were, what school did she go to? For a while after her disappearance, he blamed himself, maybe he scared her, made her uncomfortable, maybe he was the reason she ran away. 

It took him a while, but time moves on, soon he started high school, and then college and even though he’d never forget about her she took up less and less space in mind. He had decided to honor that friendship and keep her a secret long after she disappeared, something he often felt bad for in case something happened, and she needed help. But he zipped his lips shut and let her become a memory. 

It wasn’t until he was nearly 30, that she decided to reappear in his life, in a very anticlimactic way at that, he just ran into her at the local bar in his town. It had been a while since they’d last seen each other, so at first, he wasn’t sure it was actually there, but he couldn’t ignore the familiarity that filled the air around him once he saw her, he had to be sure. “Delilah?”, he said quite loudly, when she turned her head to look in his direction her eyes filled with emotion, ones that Finley couldn’t quite decipher. A smile then lit up her face as she ran toward him and engulfed him in a hug, “Oh my goodness, Fin!”, she exclaimed. Finley could feel himself getting emotional, as he gripped her tight, he felt like a kid again, he wasn’t aware that he missed her embrace this much. It was then that he realized he had never made another friend like that, he guessed that after being abandoned the way he had he put up his guard and hadn’t allowed himself to get close with anyone since. 

Her embrace felt healing, he had so many questions for her but he didn’t want to potentially care her off or seem nosey, so he settled for one, “How have you been?”, he asked. She hesitated for a moment, “Good, What about you?”. He gave her an update which admittedly wasn’t much, single, accountant, and no children.  For her it was pretty much the same except she works as a librarian. They spent a while catching up about life since they “drifted apart”, as she phrased it which upset Finley, but he bit his tongue. They decided to call it a night as it became late and figured they could meet for coffee to try and rekindle their friendship. 

As Finley got ready for bed that night, Delilah was all he could think about questions and theories, swarming around in his head it was impossible to sleep. How could he be her friend again?


My Review of Talk to Me


I watched this movie over Spring Break with my cousin, I had been wanting to watch it for quite a while. Mainly because of it’s impressive reception as seen on Rotten Tomatoes with a tomato meter of 95% and an audience score of 82%.This leaves me in sort of an awkward place because I didn’t like it all too much. I promise I am not one of those people who dislikes everything people like to seem different in fact I am pretty skewed by others perception. 

Now by no means am I saying this was a bad movie. I thought the writing was phenomonal, and it told an amazing story about grief and how seeking temporary pleasure/relief from it can be a slippery slop. I thought the concept in itself was creative and fresh. But I fail to see how it was as revolutionary as people claim it to be. Though the writing was good I found myself losing interest as it failed to suprise me. There were multiple occasions where I was able to predict what was going to happen next. I found very few of the characters to be likeable. Over all I think it was a decent movie with great writing but it was just way too overhyped. 

Certain aspects about the plot left me with a lot of questions and not in the open ended way but more in the plot hole way. The ending as a whole left me unsatisfied though I didn’t see any other way for it to end. 

Another gripe I have about this movie is that I didn’t find any of the characters particularly likeable which usually wouldn’t be an issue for me in other movies but when I watch/read/play horror I find a strong aspect of me enjoying it is the feeling of being on the edge of my seat. And I found it hard to find this feeling watching this because of my apathetic feel towards the characters the stakes never felt high enough for me to really care all too much what happened. I do enjoy the not particularly happy ending though it was nice to see. 

Again by no means was this a bad movie but I just think it was way too overhyped in my opinion. I definitely reccomend thought because I can see how a lot of peope liked it. The acting was also amazing.

Cheesing about the Fear Street Trilogy

Fear Street Part One: 1994

Fear Street Part One sets up the events that are to transpire in the next two movies. Introducing us to our main characters. To avoid spoiling the movie I won’t get too into describing it because I know I’ll be tempted to fully delve into the movie. This one is probably my least favorite, not because it is bad but because the next two are just out of this world good. But the story this one sets up has LAYERS, like it has so much room to develop, it would’ve been such a great movie on its own but the fact that the story went deeper than that makes it infinitely better. The characters as well, like I geniunely was able to care for them and the progression of their story. 

Fear Street Part Two: 1978 


This movie is a flashback to the year of 1978. It is steered by another characters recount of the events that transpired at a summer camp that year.  This movie introduces us to new characters who were equally as interesting and even gives us a glimpse of younger current characters. This movie is amazing the huge plot twist, the reveal of the true villan. Also this movie definitely gripped me emotionally, like I shed a good amount of tears. It was so good, but the trilogy wasn’t done especially with making me cry. The characters in this movie were just as good as the other one, which was kind of bitter sweet knowing there fate. 

Fear Street Part Three: 1666


This one was ROUGH, we flashback to the year 1666 where we learn about the events that started the supernatural events the trilogy is driven by. When I telly you I SOBBED throughout this movie. I was shocked, we’re introduced to new characters but using the same actors as they have the last two movies. It was a choice that I am in LOVE with, I don’t know why but seeing the tragic events happen to the faces of characters we care so much about. This is my favorite out of the three it’s just gorgeous and the resolution while leaving room for more UGH I LOVE.

Final Thoughts

I can’t reccomend this trilogy enough, it does contain a lot of gore so fair warning but even if you’re not that big of a horror fan I think that you could really fall in love with it. The story, the characters, the writiting its all so worth the gross gore and the scary aspects. I was geniunely on the edge of my seat for a lot of it. Though i could predict aspects of certain characters the movie still hadn’t failed to suprise me.



Part Two of My Intense Paw Patrol Rant( I told you I wasn’t finished)

This Blog is mostly going to discuss Coral, a new addition to the Paw Patrol. This blog won’t get too heated as I am not even going to dive into the so called cat members, who make my eye twitch at the mere mention of. 

Coral is long-lost cousins with Skye, sounds like to me you heard about my girls success and wanted a peace, I am not making any allegations just seems clout-chasey. 

But basically she’s mermaid-pup hybrid????

FIRST OF ALL, most of the lore of Paw Patrol at least that I can gather is by comparing it to us, sense they’re human. Adding mermaids into this mix diverts all of what I can establish as canon. 

Also given that she is a “mer-pup” she’s works in “water-rescue” which wouldn’t bother me if WE DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE ZUMBA, who is not only AN ORIGINAL MEMBER but works in water-rescue as well. WE LITERALLY DIDN’T NEED HER. I have no issue with her assisting him but why does she get all the clout while he gets cast to the side. HE’S BEEN HERE. 

Also her origin story, so supposedly she heard a lullaby on a “mer-moon” follows it and ends up rubbing noses with a mer-pup thus turning her into one. Number one, no mermaid lore I have read has mentioned anything about a mer-moon. And I don’t think Paw Patrol deserves to contribute to mermaid lore. Also RUBBING SNOUTS? Like huh? I have never known mermaids to be “turned” to begin with but by rubbing snouts. Usually with Vampires or Werewolves(who’s lore I have opinions about as well) who need an exchange of salivia or venom usually through a bite. What meaningful transfer of DNA can be made by rubbing snouts, you need to swab a dogs mouth to collect DNA so like what? Also mermaids are akin to sirens so I get the lullaby but does Carol sing, why was she lured by a lullaby. Also you can’t introduce mer-pups and just move on like what else lurks in the shadows? 

Also back to them dismantling the lore I was able to establish, if there are supernatural good guys there has to be bad ones too and how are these puppies going to defeat them? Besides Zumba who’s equipped for water (without a tale) I might add. Just because he isn’t supernatural his contribution shouldn’t be casted aside. He deserves his flowers too. Plus Coral is corny name for her, that might sound like I am just being a hater but I am serious.

An intense Paw Patrol rant.

Before I get started I know that “It’s a kids show” and “You’re not supposed to look that deep into it” but I would like to respond to these claims with the fact that I am also still technically a kid. This show should arguably appeal to me too. 

The first part of my rant takes on Chase. 

You may know him as the self identified leader of the patrol squad, in his defense I don’t think he’s said it himself but nonetheless. I don’t think he has earned this position, I mean if you think about it what does he reallly bring to the team. All I have seen him done is ride Ryder’s coattails. All he does is bark orders (hahahahaha) but he’s a police dog and I haven’t seen him make a single arrest. These leads into my next point, what does the Paw Patrol do, I mean sure I have seen them rescue, mostly the neighbors chicken but rescue regardless. But what are they doing to take actual crime off the streets. This also leads into the question of who is funding this whole organization. I know it can’t be Ryder he’s seven after all, which I have my own gripes about and the question of Adventure’s Bay child labor laws but that’s a whole nother conversation. Are the citizens of Adventure Bay’s taxes going to funding Paw Patrol, are they employed by the city? If that is the case do they have a seperate police force or is Paw Patrol, an orginization of puppies run by seven year old their only protection. Also where are Ryder’s parents? Is no one concerned about the safety of this little boy surrounded by heavy machinery.  

Back to Chase though, I whole heartedly think that he doesn’t deserve to be perceived as leader. On his Wiki, they define him as a police and traffic dog, but I have not seen him out there conducting traffic ONCE. In my opinion Marshall is better suited for the leader position if anything. Not only is he a fire marshall but A TRAINED PARAMEDIC. If I had to put my life in any dog’s hands it’d be his.  

My rant doesn’t end here however, it continues into the new characters the show has been adding to the series but I think I will save that for a part two considering the in depth thoughs I have on multiple characters. I also feel like it’s important to mention that I do not watch nor particularly like Paw Patrol in general.