*I’m cutting this into three parts (Pun intended) because the song is fairly long.
Off the bat, the first thing I was interested in was that the song was split into “Two parts” Nathan and Nathans fear. This isn’t the first song I have seen a personification of an emotion, but this is one of the few songs which the host of said emotion actually overcomes it, though in this case, I think it was in an unhealthy way, nonetheless the emotion he possess while he’s speaking to himself is very powerful to me. Fear owns this section of the song it doesn’t matter what Nathan wants fear will always get what he wants, right?
What, are you scared of me? It’s embarassin’
If it wasn’t for me, you would’ve never wrote Therapy
I’ve been here for you, but how come you’re never there for me?
It’s a little bit twisted, but I miss when you and I had scary dreams
*It’s clear that Fear is a strong character that seems to take the reigns from the beginning. This to me is a way to showcase that fear is the first one to greet anyone and that it has remained close to NF throughout his life. Fear has lingered since he was a kid.
I don’t really wanna talk about it
*I think everyone has had an instance when they have spoken to themselves. Trying to silence the voices in their head from taking over and making themselves worse.
Well, that’s too bad now, Nate,
*Another show of force from NF even though he seems to be still playing it fairly passive at this point. He doesn’t want to listen to himself anymore but he can’t help that. he has made this fear as strong as it is now and he has to face it eventuall
Now where were we? Way back in the day when
You and I had it all mapped out in the basement
Cryin’ in your room like a baby
*At this point, i think when fear begins to lose a bit of his hold over NF.
I wish mom was here
*Through a majority of his songs he mentions his mother. He seems to have had a great but rocky relationship with her and seems to dedicate himself to her in a way for a source of comfort.
We all do so we wouldn’t have to hear about it
Every single record you don’t really wanna change me
Yeah, I’m the on that made this happen
Do you really wanna get rid of your main attraction?
Let’s pack our bags and go back to Gladwin now
Yeah, it’s time for the third record
And you know I got the content
I don’t wanna make you nervous
But it ain’t like it used to be
We got a lotta people watchin’
You told me that you don’t want me in your life
That’s pretty hard to digest
And I told you I’d leave when we die, and we ain’t died yet
*This is when I question if Fear itself is kinda regretting the fact that NF hates him? During the actual song, he seems frustrated and angry that NF refuses to accept that he is apart of his life whether he likes it or not he is him. In a way, I think Fear doesn’t want to die or be forgotten.
Therapy Session was beautiful, Nate, but I’m wonderin’ what’s comin’ next
Yeah, get that stupid hat off of your head when I’m talkin’ to you, you hear what I said
*I feel that Fear is feeling disrespected at that he’s at this point in time not being taken as seriously as he wants to be.
You don’t like the prison I built you?
Yeah, you wanna know what the funny thing is?
You keep on talkin’ to me like a stranger, but we’ve been together since you were a kid
Took us from a no-name
Told you everything was okay
Now you tryna cut me out of it like I ain’t never been a part of it
I am the heart of it, I made this whole thing
*Fear created him. Fear is what made him what he is today. is it possible to cut off parts of yourself that you don’t like? At what cost?
Yeah, I put us on the dope stage
You must have no brain
What’s the point of having guns if you can’t aim?
What’s the point of having blood with no vein?
What’s the point of having love with no pain?
What I’m sayin’ is me without you doesn’t make any sense
I know I’m intense in controlling, but you need to learn how to cope with it
That’s just the way that it is
If you didn’t want me to live in your house, you shouldn’t have let me move in
*In Previous song Fear snuck in. NF never really intended for it to happen and that was the last time he left his “Mansion” and after that he decided to stay within the building to stop other things from getting out or getting back in.
It’s comfortable here and I like it, I got my own room and everything
It don’t get better than this!
You say you wanna own your life, then wake up and take your own advice
You just mad ’cause you know I’m right
Yeah, I’m flattered you put me in Mansion, but you should’ve told ’em right
‘Bout your hands on the coldest nights
You didn’t tell ’em ’bout the times you and I used to hold he mic
I mean, what are you, outta your mind?
‘Cause both of us will be
Come on, let’s go outside!
*Fear tries to take control again and forces NF to face his biggest challenge which is to go back outside. His biggest fear is facing the light and seeing everything that he was trying to avoid.
Is this what you wanted?
Both of us out in the open? Let’s do it then
I mean, why are you doin’ this?
I know that you’re mad, but I’m not in the mood for this
We got a record to drop
So why you actin’ like I’m not a part of it?
*Fear goes back to trying to reason with NF he wants him to see his point of view. “You need me to write. You need me to live. You need me” But forcing someone to get over their biggest fear doesn’t cripple them it makes them stronger. Fear and NF willingly/Unwillingly helped him get over his self in a way.
I’m cutting it here because the dynamic completely changes for the other parts. This song is similar to a story it has a beginning, a climax, and an end. For the beginning, I truly enjoyed the conversation and liked the insight into his two parts of himself. Fear seems humanized in a way. He isn’t this giant looming figure, he’s just a voice that taunts and picks NF apart but even Fear can be defeated in a way. Fear feels insecurities Fear even feels fear which was a breath of fresh air to witness for the next two-part i will dive into.