I’ve had a multitude of special interests (also known as hyperfixations) over my life. They’ve lasted for years- the shortest one being my first, I believe, and it was on the LEGO movie, which I watched at least fifty-one times according to my counter. I was really young then, and the movie still slaps. My interests shifted as I grew. Undertale, Steven Universe, a myriad of Danganronpa characters from all across the games… Wings of Fire and Warrior Cats were probably special interests too, at one point. Despite how many times my special interests have changed, it wasn’t until recently that a thought occurred to me, years into a hyperfixation I knew was a hyperfixation at the time:
“What will happen when I change hyperfixations? Will I feel like I’ve betrayed my old one? Will I not love it anymore? Will it not make me smile? Will I even notice if its gone, and if I don’t, is that worse? What if I just never change hyperfixations?”
These thoughts terrified me. Change is a frightening thing, and I really did think I’d feel guilty- like I would be turning my back on the characters that had meant so much to me for years upon years.
Anyways, guess who changed hyperfixatons not that long ago? Surprise, past me, it’s me, and changing special interests didn’t hurt you. It does feel kind of weird, though, which is why I’m writing this post.
I still love my past special interest, but past me was kind of right. It doesn’t make me smile like it used to. Not in a bad way, mind you- it makes me smile sometimes, but in a mellow way that’s nothing akin to the “oh my gosh are you ready for a five hour rant about this subject” smile it gave me previously. Thinking about it that way does make me kind of sad, but its true. It also sounds harsher on paper than it actually feels.
Another thing that interests me about this change is that my current special interest is on my own character and my friend’s character, who are story-related. This is my first time having a special interest on something that isn’t a widely known form of media- there’s no show to go to for content, no fanart to see, no fanbase apart from my friend group. I’m already very bubbled when it comes to fandoms, so only discussing it with a small group of people isn’t new, but it’s still kind of weird. On the plus side, though- this is my own character! I can write him as my own, I can make things canon, there’s no terribly out of character fanon (aside from 3:00 am memes.) I also get to write him with my friends, and being present as a story unfolds gives me the same amount of joy as watching a show or reading. So, that’s great!
That’s pretty much it for this blog post. Minds are interesting flesh blobs.
I’ve had a ton of hyperfixations on not-well-known media, it’s really interesting and fun! especially when it’s your own!
I can definitely relate to the feeling of losing interest in a hyperfixation.
I used to be obsessed with The Wolf Among Us. But I find myself forgetting some of the names of the characters now which is sort of disappointing.
I had hyper fixate on a lot of things and I still tend to stick to somethings from my childhood even though I have new interest now. I think All of my interest had to do with magical stuff like fairies, dragons and other creatures (obviously).