the kurt cobain jag-stang and a short rant about my setup.

i play guitar. i’ve been playing for almost five years. so yeah, i like them. i have two electrics, one surf green stratocaster and one black//white telecaster (my personal favorite), and one acoustic. the acoustic is a special story though. it belonged to my uncle in the 70s, and when he passed, he gave it to me. it is a martin, which is a very expensive but beautiful sounding brand of guitar. my martin is from 1974, or around that time, so it is worth a lot. despite that, i’d never dream of selling it. it has a lot of sentimental meaning, but it also sounds amazing, and i love it dearly. but tbh, recently i’ve been wanting another electric. recently i got a new amp, an orange crush 20rt, which sounds really good. and as much as i love my telecaster, it has it’s problems. an electric i’ve been eyeing recently is the kurt cobain jagstang, a combo jaguar and mustang. i’m a big mustang fan so this fits that need for me. it comes in blue and red, but the red is too beautiful to skip out on. i’m not a fan of rosewood bridges, but i’d sacrifice that for this guitar. more guitars i’m interested in include the rickenbacker 360 in black//white, and the jim root telecaster and jazzmaster, both in white. so yea. this blog was longer but it crashed and i ended up losing all my progress, so rip. cya. 

the kurt cobain jag-stang, with two varying colors. i’m personally a huge fan of the red.

my autumn//winter mix !!

hiiiiiiiiiiiiii i’m gonna do a quick small blog because i think i want to work on my other blog before i post it, so here is this. i love music. cool, you probably know that. i love matching music to seasons. so, here i am going to link my autumn//winter mix and talk about some songs on it, and what i look for in a mix. cool, let’s get into it !!

so first, what do i look for in an autumn//winter mix? well, i usually stray away from anything too hardcore. i appreciate acoustics a lot more during this time, so they are prevalent in this playlist. i search for songs in the 90s alternative scene mostly, but i’m open to anything. the artists that occupy most of this playlist are the smashing pumpkins, pavement, mazzy star, pavement and the pixies. so, here are a couple songs on the playlist that i especially love.

cupid de locke – the smashing pumpkins

beautiful strings in this song, they feel mystical almost. i love love love this album and all the sounds that it has brought into my life, and this song is nothing short of a masterpiece. i especially love the spoken word right in the middle of the song, given by lead singer billy corgan.

the background – third eye blind

love this band. love this song. i’ve been listening to it since i was a baby, so there’s obviously a connection there. but it’s just enough to get me through the days. the lyrics are so beautiful, i’d recommend checking them out if you haven’t heard the song before. 

shady lane – pavement

i<3pavement. love their lyrics, love their instrumentals, love the voices. this song is pretty chill. that’s all it really needs to be for me to like it. i love the ending to the chorus so much. it’s cute !! def recommend this song if you haven’t heard pavement before. 

lolz that’s all i’m gonna do. here is the link to the playlist tho !! 


thanks 4 reading !!<3

ranking my top 3 songs on joji’s new album

hiii there. so, i’m not a diehard joji fan, but i used to be a fan of his music in early middle school. so of course, his stuff has changed since i last listened. my roommate saw joji live recently so she sort of threw me back into an appreciation for his music. just in time too, as he just released his new album, smithereens. i have had this album on repeat for the past day, so safe to say i really really love it. there’s so many amazing songs here that it is almost impossible to name favorites. despite that, i’m going to try to rank my favorites. so yeah, here we go !! starting with my favorite:

1. feeling like the end

the first song on this album is glimpse of us, which i’ve heard way too much. so when this song came on next, i was pleasantly surprised. this song works so well towards the beginning because it leaves us hopeful for the next tracks, which do not disappoint. the melody in the beginning is my favorite part of the song, as it repeats throughout. sadly, this is one of the shortest songs on the album. a nice upbeat song preparing you for absolute heartache on the next track.

2. yukon (interlude)

this song sounds like it’s going to destroy you at the beginning, but as soon as it comes in you realize it’s a lot like feeling like the end in mood. i love the melody in this song, as i do with almost every other song on this album. taking a break from the hard-hitting lyrics, this song reminds me a lot of some of his older inspirations. something about the references in the lyrics make me think back to his first two albums. in this song, it feels like he grows it perfectly. every little line is not left unfinished, and every melody you crave is given to you. i really love this one, basically. 

3. die for you

ah nah. now it’s time for the one that i believe hits hardest. when i first heard this song, i sobbed in the library. it’s not because i relate to it, because i really don’t, but something about it just made me incredibly emotional. i guess i started looking at the lyrics from a different perspective, and i imagined myself in that position. or maybe i am just insane and cry about everything. that seems more likely. still, a really beautiful song. if you have an ex you still have feelings for, don’t listen to it. and if you’re like me and are in a perfectly healthy relationship with no problems whatsoever, still, don’t listen to it. or do, and cry. that’s what i did.

anyways, thanks for reading this !! if you like joji’s older music, i really recommend listening to this new album !! joji is my tastebreaker tbh, so that’s why this may seem a little out of character for me. anyways, yeah !! cya next week(:

some of my favorite movies !!

hiiii. i like movies. i haven’t really talked about many films i enjoy, so i’m going to do that now. these are not in any particular order. but do let me know if you also enjoy any of these great films:) here we go !! 

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

this movie plays inside my head at all times. never have i watched this movie without crying, and it isn’t even necessarily that sad. but i’d have to say this is my favorite movie of all time, without a doubt. the cinematography is so perfect and recognizable, that I could remember some scenes 10 years after first seeing the movie. (yes, I remembered many scenes after a ten year gap) it tells a beautiful and heartbreaking story about two people desperately trying to hold onto their memories together as they are being erased. they are together inside each others heads trying to stop everything they ever were and will be from being erased. overall, truly a 10/10 film.

donnie darko

i had a weird relationship with this movie when i first watched it. i genuinely disliked it, i didn’t understand it, and i thought it was a little cliche. but then it ended, and i realized it was perfect. i truly didn’t realize how good the movie was until it actually ended, because every question is answered by the ending. and yet, i still have to watch it over and over to figure out what exactly is happening. new questions are posed every single time i watch it. it’s about a teenage boy who gets instructions for the future from a man in a rabbit suit named frank. i know, makes sense right? i overall, genuinely love this movie and even more so i love watching it with the people i love.

rocky horror picture show

i have loved this movie since i was 13, and i don’t think i’ll ever stop loving it. i watch it every single year, multiple times. i first watched it with my mother when i was fairly young, and ever since then i continue to watch it and introduce it to people. it’s about a newly engaged couple stumbling upon a mansion after their car broke down. what happens after that is, i don’t know man, it’s a lot. it’s a movie where if you don’t get it, you don’t get it. and i don’t mean understand the plot, because quite literally no one does. (i do though, stay safe ya’ll) but if you appreciate it, you really do, if you don’t, you really don’t. easily a classic in my eyes. 

empire records

i absolutely love this movie. this is probably my other favorite movie of all time. it’s easy to guess why. it’s set in a record store run by teenagers in the 90s, and the entire movie takes place throughout the course of a single day.  many different things happen. there is rejection, romance, hatred, death (almost), sadness, happiness, weirdness, and music music music. it’s genuinely just an enjoyable film. it doesn’t take much to understand, it’s just fun. i watch it whenever i need to feel homey or just anything at all. and of course, it has great songs in it !!

good will hunting

oh my god. i have so much to say about this one, but i’m going to keep it brief. basically, a huge reason why i love this film is because elliott smith is featured heavily in the soundtrack. and by that i mean, every song played with maybe one or two exceptions are elliott smith songs. (and you know how i feel about him) this movie is about a young man who is insanely intelligent but refuses to  put it to use. he works at MIT as a janitor and finds a blackboard with a problem no one can solve on it. he answers it and professors are dying to find out who solved it. when they finally do, they attempt to get his help on other problems that are previously unsolved. during this, he is also put in therapy as he refuses to use his intelligence for anything and has a hard disposition. his therapist breaks down this wall and helps him get a serious job. it’s such a beautiful film, and of course elliott’s music being in it only makes it a hundred times better. 

red dragon

i love the hannibal series. i’ve read almost every book, seen every movie, and i’ve seen every episode of the show. red dragon is my favorite book and movie out of the entire franchise. i love its premise and i especially love the gore in this movie. its even my favorite point in the show when they reach the red dragon plot. in this movie, hannibal is locked up but a series of brutal and gruesome murders have been happening. will graham is sent to investigate it, and they soon find out who the killer is and his strange motives. this is such a good thriller and a even better horror film. if you love gore, watch this !! 

house of 1,000 corpses

this is my favorite horror movie of all time. its made by rob zombie, who is one of my favorite musicians<3 i love watching this movie every single year. its gore-y, sad, and terrifying. the thing is, in this series of horror movies, you root for the villians. maybe not so much in this movie, but in the next two, you only hope they can get away with it all. and there’s no reason why either. they don’t do anything to redeem themselves, they’ve just such loveable characters. you almost feel really bad for loving them so much, but that’s exactly what rob zombie wants you to do. totally going to watch this tonight now that i’ve been talking about it. such a good film !! 

this was kind of a long one, and i almost want to keep going, but im going to stop myself. anyways, thanks for reading !!:)<3

some of my favorite radiohead songs ♫

yoyoyoyoyoyo !! so this blog isn’t planned, but i am listening to radiohead right now and it just felt like the right topic for this week’s post:) i love radiohead a lot, and i’ve been listening to them since i was a child, but this year i have listened to them more than any other year !! so here are some of my favorite tracks from the group of ones i’ve discovered recently !! 

jigsaw falling into place 

i can never decide if this is my favorite radiohead song or if it’s the daily mail. but regardless of the placement, i am absolutely crazy about this song. the instrumentals are perfectly lined up with each other and i don’t see this in any other song. maybe i’m just glorifying it because i love it, but who cares. it’s also a super fun song to play on gutiar !! also,,, thom’s voice<3 his voice sounds so different in this song and i’m totally for it. 

the daily mail 

this is the song i’ve accepted as being my favorite, as it is absolutely perfect. it has a beautiful buildup to the end of the song, which is nothing short of euphoric. i first heard it on ozark, as it was playing when i walked in on my parents watching the show. i had never heard this song before because it was released as a single, and it was one of their newer songs. (if 2016 is new). the piano in the intro is so sweet, but the ending is so rewarding. 


this one has recently become a favorite. it sounds like it is going to be incredibly slow and depressing, but for me its the opposite. its bittersweet. especially when the backing beat comes in at “my hunger burns”. for some reason this one just calms me, and it makes me smile. i think for most people, it’s the opposite. also, the strings. i am absolutely in love with the strings in this song. normally strings make me emotional, but the strings here make me fearful, terrified. yet, i’m still calmed. 

exit music (for a film)

this is a pretty popular one, but i still love it. though, i prefer the former half of the song to the later, despite the ending being a perfect way to tie the song together. i’ve been listening to this for years, and it still is so rewarding to hear it kick in at the end. i think i might know every single lyric and every single noise in this song, so much so that i could play it in my head entirely without actively listening to it. yeah. it’s cool.

so yeah, another short blog. was pretty fun. thanks for reading.

why i love seki from goodnight punpun

hiiii i totally have ideas for this blog yeah woo uhuh. anyways. i’m going to be doing a short post about my favorite character from goodnight punpun, masumi seki. this character is even at the top of my kin list. i don’t have a kin list, but if i did, i’m sure he would be up there.

general information

seki was introduced in the first book and was apparent throughout the entire series, but more so towards the middle and end. he is a middle school graduate who skipped high school because he believed book smarts would only help him become a con artist. we’re off to a great start, i know. he has a scar on his nose that he’s had since the beginning of the series, but the origin of it is unknown. he’s best friends with shimizu and is often cold and rough in dialogue. he also has a phobia of fire from an incident at a miso factory, which happens in the first book. 


the reason why i feel so closely connected to seki is because of his personality and the way he thinks. he often self-sabotages in his own head, all the time, which is something i believed i was alone in doing. from a young age, seki has had low self esteem. his tough disposition and willingness to fight is compensation for this. early in the series, we see elementary drawings of student’s mothers done by the said students. it pans to seki’s drawing, and his is the smallest of them all, a reflection of how he felt about himself. for someone whose highest level of education is middle school, seki’s thoughts often take a philosophical direction. this internal monologue often depresses him. to distract him from his own head, he applies for many jobs throughout the course of the series. 


i have a deep connection to this character. this was the first time my thought patterns and habits were represented in any form of media, and it shocked me. it was something i was almost certain was exclusive to me. and though it was a system shock to learn it wasn’t, it was relieving, as it is an unhealthy habit. i find myself going back and forth on the same subjects as him, just for the both of us to land on the meaningless. i’ve always been a fan of the colder disposition with underlying emotions trope, and that is exactly what seki is. 

thanks for reading this post !! this was pretty fun, i love talking about this character. to end things, here’s one of my favorite panels from the series !! cya next week<3 !

albums i want on vinyl !!

hello:) if you know me, then you know i <3 collecting records !! well, recently i finally checked off one of my favorite albums off my to-buy list, yankee hotel foxtrot by wilco !! and to be honest, i’m writing this last minute bcuz i am sick<3 and i needed ideas sooo, i’m just gonna talk about other albums i really want on vinyl !! here we go:

in rainbows – radiohead

i actually almost got this album the other day !! i picked it up and was going to check out with it when i saw yankee hotel foxtrot in the corner of my eye and immediately went to it. i’ve been wanting this album for a while. it’s my favorite radiohead album, and it’s actually one of my favorite albums in general. i always get super close to buying it, then i end up finding something else. hopefully the next time i see it i won’t get distracted !! 

the glow pt. 2 – the microphones

i hold this album in a special place in my heart. this is also one of my favorite albums EVER. i think it’s so cohesive and beautiful. this one i would kill to get, but it’s only available online and it’s always sold out. this album actually comes with a lot of inserts, which is something i absolutely love<3. (especially poster inserts). i believe it comes with multiple posters and maybe even a pin !! but besides the physical attributes, this album is worth so much to me.

elliott smith – elliott smith

surprisingly, i don’t have many of elliott’s albums on vinyl. that’s because they’re actually really hard to come by. i have two compilation albums and i have roman candle !! but the self-titled album is not only my favorite elliott album, but also my favorite album in general. so of course i need this one on vinyl. 

you’d prefer an astronaut – hum

i have a little story about why i love this album so much, but you’d have to be close to me for me to tell you. i especially love little dipper<3. but !! this album is so good, one of my favorite shoe-gazey albums of all time. this one actually isn’t pressed anymore, so i’d have to buy it secondhand sadly. (and they are expensive </3)

my aim is true – elvis costello

ahhh elvis costello !! my favorite elvis. i’ve been listening to this album since i was a baby, but more recently i’ve become totally obsessed with this album and elvis himself. there’s so many good tracks on here, there’s even a book/movie named after one !! (less than zero) this album holds so much nostalgia for me, and i think i’ve come full circle in loving it this much !!

anyways, thanks for reading !! i know this was short, but it was fun:) cya next week<3 !! 

ranking elliott smith’s solo albums pt. 2

hiii it’s me again. so, last week i showed you the rankings of 4 of elliott’s solo abums, ranking from #8 – #4. today, i’m going to reveal my top 3!! these albums are so hard to rank above each other, but i’m pretty confident in my tier list. with that being said, let’s get into it. right at #3:

#3: new moon – 2007

woaaah this one is also a posthumous album!! but not just any album, a compilation album. the reason why i included this on here is because… well, there’s no way i could leave it out. this posthumous compilation album includes 24 tracks, all of which are mostly entirely acoustic. there are some “other” versions of his previously released songs, and some unreleased songs. there are some covers, like big star’s thirteen, and there are some heatmiser songs that elliott performed solo, like half right. out of the 24 tracks, my favorites include high times, going nowhere, miss misery (early version), georgia georgia, big decision, new disaster, either/or and pretty mary k (other version). i know, it’s a lot. but that just shows how truly amazing it is. next, an album that needs no introduction. (i’m still gonna introduce it though)

#2: either/or – 1997

this is objectively elliott’s best album. i mean, it’s the album that holds my favorite song ever created. the song i’ve listened to over 1,000 times this year. (that’s accurate data too, i track how much i listen to it). putting it at #2 physically hurts me, because i truly believe this is one of the greatest albums in existence. it’s also my most listened to album out of them all. my favorite songs include angeles (my favorite song, ever.), say yes, speed trials, cupid’s trick, and between the bars. well, now that i’ve hyped this album up, i bet you’re curious to see my #1 elliott smith solo album. not only that, my favorite album ever. well, here it is.

#1: elliott smith – 1995

this is my favorite album of all time. there’s just something about it. it tells a cohesive story, one that blends so well in-between tracks. i remember the day i listened to it in it’s entirety. i was in my english class, and i thought to myself, i really love elliott smith. i want to get more into him. so, i’ll start here. and i did, and i ended up loving every. single. song. there is not a single bad song on this album, and every single one is a non-skip. despite this, i do have favorites. those include christian brothers, clementine, southern belle, coming up roses, good to go, the white lady loves you more, and finally, the biggest lie. this album is the most emotionally damaging for me. some of these songs have significant meaning, both in general and just for me. the white lady loves you more was a song of grievance for me, and i’ll never listen to it without remembering how it helped me get through a period of my life. this goes for all of elliott’s music, and elliott himself. i’m insane probably. anyways.

thank you for putting up with me and reading this!! i had a lot of fun writing it:) cya next time!!<3

ranking elliott smith’s solo albums pt. 1

hi hi hi hi. it’s me. the only person who blogs about elliott. (please let it stay that way) i’m going to be ranking all of elliott’s solo albums, from my favorite to my least favorite (least doesn’t mean it’s bad, because trust me, all of these albums are 10/10’s). the top album in this ranking is actually my favorite album of all time!! so let’s get into it:) starting with my least favorite:

#7: xo – 1998

XO is elliott’s most popular album. (either that or either/or) (that was a confusing sentence) (either/or is an album) it includes songs such as waltz #2 and on the deluxe version, miss misery, which was featured in the film good will hunting by gus van sant. it’s not a bad album by any means, but it is… different than his other ones. it’s around this time that elliott began experimenting with a fuller sound, a contrast to his previous title of lo-fi acoustic tracks. some of my favorites on this album include i didn’t understand, pitseleh, and tomorrow tomorrow. i listen to elliott everyday, so i’m bound to get tired of some songs and then later get back into them. but as of now, those are the only songs i still go out of my way to listen to. (unless they come on, i never skip an elliott song). this album is still a 10/10 of course. now, onto the next one. 

#6: figure 8 – 2000 

this one hurts to do. but sadly, i just like his other albums more. but please do not think this is a bad album, it’s far from it. this album is absolutely beautiful and so well written. the reason it’s so far on this list is solely because i just don’t listen to some tracks that often, and that plays a part in how much i enjoy it. this was also a huge hit when it was dropped, but it was also around the time that elliott got introduced to drugs and had a plight with usage. my favorites from this album are better be quiet now, happiness, everything reminds me of her, and everything means nothing to me. still a masterpiece, still influential. just not one i listen to obsessively. now, the next one. 

#5: from a basement on the hill – 2004

i bet you’re wondering how this album came to be, considering elliott died in 2003. (none of you were wondering it i just wanted to talk) well, this is a posthumous album, meaning it was released after his death. right before his…. unusual death, he was working on the tracks for this album. because of this, some of these tracks aren’t entirely finished, but they are still enjoyable. thing is, the songs that were left off the album weren’t chosen by elliott, but rather uh, i don’t know, record people. what i’m saying is, elliott didn’t choose to exclude any songs, but someone else did. because of this, the album is missing a lot of seriously great tracks. but i still enjoy it a lot. elliott was beginning to take his music in a harder direction, but sadly we did not get to see that development. favorite tracks from this album are let’s get lost, the last hour, memory lane and twilight

#4: roman candle – 1993

this is elliott’s debut album, with only 9 tracks on it. it was at this time that elliott decided to depart from his band, heatmiser, and set off on his own (which ended up with him being nominated for an oscar.) this album is incredibly lo-fi and entirely acoustic, a trait he began to lose when he gained the attention of the mass media. this album is beautiful. i say that for all of them, but this one truly is nothing other than beautiful. some of these songs were written by elliott when he was only 17, such as condor ave. if you’ve heard condor ave, then you know how impressive it is to know he wrote THAT at 17. this album makes me incredibly emotional, especially no name #3, which is not only my favorite song on this album, but one of my favorites by elliott in general. besides no name #3, my favorites include no name #1, condor ave, and last call

annnnnnd that’s a wrap for this post! i decided to put it into two parts so in the next one, we can just see my top 3 picks:) !! super excited for you guys to see, hope you enjoyed!! until next week!!<3

goodnight, punpun (and how it has changed my life so far)

not too long ago, i was introduced to a manga series by a close friend here. i was immediately intrigued, especially so when i heard about the progression the series goes through. so, i borrowed the first volume from my friend and began reading. and that changed my life. 

just a series about a cute bird-boy, right?

wrong. it’s so much more than that, and that’s why it has changed my view on so many things, even my own life. we start off following the life of elementary student punpun onodera as he navigates through school, his dysfunctional family, and a girl he truly believes is the one. you feel so much sympathy for punpun solely based on his appearance, which is a key detail prominent throughout the entire series. as he grows older, and as he experiences everything his life has to offer, he changes, and not for the better. we follow him at ages 11, 13, 16, 19, and finally, 22. in the beginning, punpun’s life is more than relatable. things i’ve been through that i thought no one else understood were represented in this book. that being said, it touches on some sore subjects. (so if you plan to read it, ask me about the trigger warnings!) i had to have some parts blocked out by my friend so i wouldn’t read it</3 (it gets that real). but as the series progresses, and as punpun ages, he becomes less and less relatable. the things he’s been through start to eat away at him, and he becomes violent and angry, and then a raging depressive. 

so, what does his appearance have to do with anything? 

punpun’s appearance is one of my favorite aspects of this series, and arguably the most important one. as an elementary school student, when we first meet him, punpun is very short and rounded. as he becomes a pre-teen, he elongates. even more so when he is in his mid-teen years, and as he starts to become a young adult, he has more appearances with a human body. not only does he have a human body in the later part of the series, but his face shape changes depending on his mood. when extremely depressed or angry, he is usually pitch-black with varying amounts of uh, eyes. i still haven’t finished the series so i have no idea how he will look by the end of it. i mean, at one point he’s a tetrahedron, so. but it all is insanely significant, i promise. 

so uh, what’s the point of reading it?

WHY NOT. seriously, why not. no, i’m kidding. there’s a lot more reasons why i think it’s a great read, but i don’t have many as to why YOU should read it. personally, this series has changed my life  (so far, i’m almost finished with it though!). i’ve been struggling with certain things for a while now, and somehow this series touched on all of those memories. it’s comforting to me, in some sick twisted way, because i know i’m not alone in these thoughts. (not uhh his thoughts in the later half, that guy gets weird). but, that doesn’t mean you should read it. it gets real, and it gets serious. like i said, if you’re interested, come to me and i’ll tell you about what you might need to look out for. if you don’t think you can handle it, then that’s okay!! it’ll still be here if you ever change your mind(: but i promise, reading it won’t be a mistake. anyways, that’s all i have for this week. see you later.

“…If we see shooting stars, what would you wish for, Punpun? Wishing upon shooting stars doesn’t make them come true. Right, but what if. What would you wish if they did…? I’d wish for shooting stars to disappear forever.”