Category: Book Reviews

The Minister’s Black Veil provided a question that stood out to me. “How can we judge others for our sins if we can’t face our own?” 

In Nathaniel’s short story where he uses a minister to play on the condemnation of human conditions, I saw that he used the reactions of the townspeople to show how humanity gets uncomfortable when others’ faults reflect our insecurity. The people’s opinions contributed to the reality of society and that helped deepen my understanding. 

For context, I’ll give a brief summary of what the story is about. 

 The Minister’s Black Veil takes place in a small town where gossip travels quickly, and the people use each other’s imperfections to place themselves on a higher pedestal. Mr. Hooper is the presenting character, and he is also the town’s reverend. Which was pointed out to be quite remarkable as “Mr. Hooper, a gentlemanly person of about thirty, though still a bachelor…” which was intriguing in the eyes of the people.  

In the story Mr. Hooper goes to be the priest at a funeral, which he very first reveals his new identity with the veil. This is also where I first see some of the answers to the question I focused on earlier. 

At this funeral the narrator points out the opinions the people have about Mr.  Hooper as a reverend.  Some felt uncomfortable, for example one person said, “I can’t really feel as if good, Mr. Hooper’s face was behind that piece of crape.”  

Then there was a woman who expressed that Mr. Hooper making the choice of wearing the veil was inappropriate by saying “I don’t like it,” muttered an old woman, as she hobbled into the meetinghouse. “He has changed himself into something awful, only by hiding his face.”  There were more of these opinions, a lot of the people in the church saying that Mr. Hooper has basically gone crazy.  

To me, that statement was ironic in spite of the fact that the people were having these dramatic reactions because a man just decided to wear a veil.  But what if that’s it?  What if their reactions were normal? Maybe we would have all felt the same if we started seeing ghosts the day Mr.  Hooper walked in with a statement. 

During that funeral there were just comments of disdain and disappointment.  Everyone just speculated about Mr. Hooper, but none of them said anything to his face.  They didn’t ask him why he was wearing the veil. I believed it was because they couldn’t see his face.  From that whole scene there was a reflection of society in reality when things are questioned, and gossip is stirred. The townsfolk were like gossiping schoolgirls, they didn’t even attempt to ask about his intentions, since they couldn’t see his face, I think that meant he had no right to reflect on his own purpose with them. 

People’s faces and minds can be considered as veils. They hide our inner thoughts and our inner intentions.  For some, those could be things that could be distasteful to others.  But we also use our facial expressions to conceal our judgment.  I mean, there are people who can smile in the face of their enemy. “But can some people interpret a face?  You may ask.  And that answer is, “Well, of course!” And with that in mind, there’s some people who raise their eyebrows when people cry. When someone reflects your inner pain, you may find yourself uncomfortable too. 

There was a woman who said that she saw Mr. Hooper in hands with the spirit of a deceased girl at the wedding which came after the funeral.  It wasn’t true.  He most definitely wasn’t prancing around with a deceased girl.  That point in the plot though was showing what the people were judging him for.  And spoiler, it was just speculation! 

Mr. Hooper was just doing his sad preaching, but the woman started a rumor which spread.  And I guess by that point, they just had a collective delusion. That delusion was disguising their own faults, as long as they focused on Mr. Hooper’s.   

The day after that, people everywhere talked about the veil. Which to all the mothers, pastors, and children was more than just a piece of cloth hanging down his face, but instead a symbol from his heart that resembled a fearful secret between him and them.  

That secret, to me, has to deal with their own personal self – struggle and now it feels like their reverend is mourning their soul because their personal self-guilt is eating them up inside.   I know that just got dark, but I mean- 

Listen!  This is how bad this got! (Mr. Hooper and his self-reflecting veil.) 

In the middle of the short story Mr. Hooper went back to his home to his wife, Elizabeth.  After some commentary they basically have this discussion about the veil of course.  She told him that she thinks that if he must wear that mask then he shouldn’t wear it in public then she asked if she could see his face and he explain how it all started. 

He didn’t take it off, but he did hint that one of the reasons he was wearing a veil was because everyone wears a veil every day.  His veil was just visible.   

Elizabeth didn’t think that was a good enough reason, so with a sorrowful farewell. 
She left Mr. Hooper hidden under his dark veil. 

To sum up what happened after that, I’m going to provide this statement from the story, 

“In this manner Mr. Hooper spent a long life, irreproachable in outward act, yet shrouded in dismal suspicions; kind and loving, though unloved, and dimly feared; a man apart from men, shunned in their health and joy, but ever summoned to their aid in mortal anguish. As years wore on, shedding their snows above his sable veil, he acquired a name throughout the New England churches, and they called him Father Hooper. Nearly all his parishioners, who were of mature age when he was settled, had been borne away by many a funeral: He had one congregation in the church, and a more crowded one in the churchyard; and having wrought so late into the evening, and done his work so well, it was now good Father Hooper’s turn to rest” 

Mr. Hooper passed while still wearing that veil.   Before he died though, he gave a monologue with his final breaths that basically called out everyone who made him as if he’s a monster all because he wears his sins on his face.  But there will be a day when everyone has to take off their visage. 

So, yea, what I got from this short story is that basically judging others so we wouldn’t have to judge ourselves is a big thing in the world. It’s so bad we even make each other seem as if we’re monsters, but we are all monsters deep down. 

I read this story in ninth grade, and didn’t fully understand it at first. So, it was interesting getting this refresher after I just randomly thought about this while looking out the window one day. 

 

 

If you haven’t, it’s okay, I just recently read this epic tale myself. Also to note, Epics are long literary poems that tell tales of heroes and legends.  It’s literally an Epic.

This was an interesting read. A long one, but it still eventually caught my attention.  I wouldn’t have read this story on my own though. I read this for a class assignment and for it to be a learning experience for my test. This story was kind of wild.

For some context, Beowulf is a 3,182-line Old English poem about a Scandinavian warrior who helps this king defeat this monster. Then he goes to defeat some more monsters. The warrior of course is Beowulf, and he’s described to have the traits of loyalty, courageousness, and wiseness. He is super strong and can even hold his breath for hours. So, you know, what you would expect a classic hero to be like. The monster he went to get rid of is named Grendel. He’s described to be a giant monster with clawed hands and feet and jagged fangs. But his appearance has been depicted in different ways, but this is what is in the poem.  

Beowulf did end up finding Grendel and the battle ended with Beowulf cutting off Grendel’s limbs.  This is where the journey starts

After killing Grendel, Beowulf was awarded with land and some titles. He became a notorious hero, and since his fame grew big, more people requested his heroic help.  

So, the next person he ended up battling was Grendel’s mother.  Yup, she was like, “I’m about to avenge my son and no one is going to stop me”.  

Beowulf’s battle with her though was kind of tougher to beat. To point out, she was a sea-creature monster that lived in a black lake that was boiling and filled with monsters.  

She was biting his shoulder, trying to gash out his eyes, and some more stuff.  From what I remember reading, at some point it seemed as if the monster defeated Beowulf.  Which was a bad thing that led to a bigger bad thing.  The first bad thing was it leading to some of Beowulf’s army betraying him by abandoning him without checking if he was actually gone first.  Which led to him getting revenge, but back to the battle.  Beowulf did defeat the sea monster.  He killed her by slicing her head off.  The poem itself got really descriptive about it. 

Like I said, Beowulf was out here doing some things. Heroic things as they call it, but for it to be a poem it was some real serious actions and descriptions. 

Before the next battle Beowulf had to teach his people a little lesson about loyalty.  So, he did what most heroes in epics would do and threw the severed head of the monster he defeated onto the dinner table while everyone was eating.  Yep.  Just tossed it while they were enjoying their mead. 

It doesn’t stop their y’all.  But at this point I had gotten kind of tired while reading and missed a big plot which I’ll eventually get back to, but I did read the last battle.   

It was against a dragon. Yes! You heard it folks, he battled the huge reptile that steals everyone’s jewels and things like that.  Now, this battle was huge, and usually I would tell you how it ended. 

But! I’m not going to do that this time.  

Use this as your motivation to read this Epic and experience the journey along with me.  

On a new note, I’ve found out that the battles had some symbolism in them.  

 

 

 

I think I need to be put down. Like maybe do the thing they do in Canada where they choose to euthanize you instead of giving you healthcare ← Something Holden Caulfield would say, probably.

The Catcher in the Rye is a… Confusing book? Yeah. See, when I first heard about it, no one would tell me what it was about. I just heard the name over and over again. And then I got older, and it made even less sense. How was it a banned book and just another teen indie film and also, “Oh my God Don’t Mention Catcher in the Rye To Me”? Then I read it. And what people said about the book versus what the book actually is is so far out of left field it’s picking trees in another plot of land.

I mean what was going on half the time? It’s one of the most banned books in the country, it’s a bunch of gibberish, it’s one of the most important texts of our generation, it’s enough to kill John Lennon?? It’s an indescribable book about a spoiled teenager who thinks the world is phony while coming to grips with growing older (maybe that one’s true.)

And well, it’s actually pretty good. I would in fact call it overhyped. Like I would say it deserves an adequate amount of hype. It’s pretty good! I just think people oversell it. It’s not the communist manifesto, and I mean, Holden’s pretty messed up, but I think it’s pretty rude to say he’d kill John Lennon (I mean I just don’t think he would do that.)

So then. What is The Catcher in the Rye?

…Slightly complex with a straightforward narrative. but I really like it so I’m gonna talk about it!

Holden is deeply traumatized. I don’t think that’s very hard to say. His narrating style dissuades you from thinking he is when he talks very by-the-breeze. He is incredibly sardonic, judgemental, and rude, making comments on people’s looks and habits just because he can. But when you peel back the layers, you notice how… Scary, the aspects of his story are.

He handwaves all of these aspects and frequently lies to you about how they affect him, but the passing mentions are deeply disturbing. He recounts witnessing another student kill himself from the fifth story, describes how his body looked on the pavement and how gruesome it was. He brings up death constantly, writing about it for the most part, on accident. This could very easily be attributed to his dead brother, and yeah, having a dead younger brother who died when you were children is. Disquieting. Not easy. In fact, when the end of the book comes, there Holden is, begging Allie not to let him die.

I don’t think I have to spell it out that someone’s who’s mentally well. wouldn’t do that. Holden basically has a severe mental breakdown at the end of the book (and you can really see it coming if you read the book close enough.) JD Salinger himself pointed to the traumas of war when writing this story, and you know what? A story about an adolescent approaching adulthood slowly coming to terms with the horrors of grief, death of companions, and an apparent feeling of being cut off with the world? Searching for understanding while condemning the world? Yeah.

Holden is in constant search of companionship. Every chance he gets, he thinks about calling someone, his friend Jane Gallagher, an author he’s never met who “seems friendly”, and even people he doesn’t like, just for someone to talk to. After he leaves Pencey, he hires a prostitute just to talk to her, even asking that she doesn’t take her dress off.

The first taste of Holden’s loneliness really starts at Pencey. Not even the two people he talks to there really connect with him. When it comes to Stradlater and Ackley, it comes off they only really talk to Holden because he’s there. But it’s also almost the only companionship Holden really finds at Pencey, making them the closest thing he has to friends at the moment. And he’s not even very good at keeping them.

One of the best written relationships in the novel is his relationship with his little sister, Phoebe. It’s very loving and adoring, and I think humanizes Holden the most. She’s the most real thing to him. He spends pages talking about her: “You would love her.” As soon as he gets home, she immediately starts talking about school—And he listens. Fully pays attention to the conversation, rather than just having it for small talk.

And then loses it when she finds out why he’s home early.

Holden does a very-many stupid things across the novel. In fact, when he wakes up Phoebe, he plans to take more money from his parents after burning through the money he had at the beginning. Finding out he’s home practically drives Phoebe crazy. She’s furious.

He brushes it off, in a way that he genuinely believes It’s None of Her Concern. This is interesting to me about Holden Caulfield. It’s a very familiar response: his actions don’t involve others because they’re his actions. When other people are worried for him or mad at him, it’s not their problem because he faces the consequences for it. He doesn’t really understand what consequences are or what they might be, which is where most of the accusations of him being spoiled come from.  And you know what? Yeah. It makes for a really good use of the first-person narrative.

It’s not enough that Holden doesn’t understand consequences, he’s also. Just a bit of a mess otherwise. He’s a very emotional type. He loses his mind whenever he finds out Stradlater might’ve had sex with Jane Gallagher, a girl from his town he likes, and gets into a fight with Stradlater about it within seconds. Then goes into his neighbor’s room, still bloody, to get some company. He does a lot of crying too, bursts into tears at multiple points. He doesn’t mention it much after or describe it in the way a third-person structure would, but it’s also hard not to notice. As soon as he starts to lose the fight with Stradlater, he’s in tears. He’s in tears when the prostitute’s pimp threatens him, and pretty much through most of the story. I think noticing the crying is where it changes the perspective of the novel for me.

Edit after the fact, Allie is dead. Allie is Holden’s dead younger brother. It’s important to note how close in age Allie and Holden are, while Holden is six years older than his little sister, Allie was eleven when he died making him eleven when he died. Like.. The amount of stuff to cover with that is mental. To be two years older than your brother and spend eleven years with him to end up with leukemia—and then miss the funeral. There’s no analysis there, that’s just. Sombering. He calls out to him at the end of the novel. Jesus Christ.

Holden tells you absolutely nothing about his mental health, but it’s. Depressing? Fascinating? To realize what’s going on? He never really thinks too hard about it, so it’s more of you putting those pieces together. Or more of me putting those pieces together because I wrote this goddamn neverending thing.

The word count is at almost 1400. and I’m not done discussing it. The modern interpretation of The Catcher in the Rye is gonna put ME in a sanatorium. How did it kill three people? How did it nearly kill Ronald Reagan? You wanna hear the baseball glove? The carousel? I’m still not done!! How am I still not done?!

No wonder there’s so many interpretations of this book. No wonder. Maybe the only solution to this problem is to read the book yourself. Or don’t. Or finish the book if you only got through half of it. I don’t know. 1400 words..

 

So, anyone who knows me knows that the MSA production of “Lost Girl” by Kimberly Belflower threw me for several loops. Reactions including but not limited to: An entire poetry collection, including a 100+ line self portrait, an entire identity crisis (Short lived and easily resolved but still), and a little too close relation to the character of Wendy. That play made me take a good, long look at several core aspects of myself and my emotions, and put me through an emotional spectrum I haven’t felt in a very long time; the hallmark of truly great art. Naturally, it earns this month’s analysis. 

DISCLAIMER: I am not giving a summary and reading further could spoil the play. Read at your own discretion. : )

The first fantastic aspect of this play is the way that it utilizes Peter Pan himself. Peter is built up as this great big concept, while so rarely being portrayed on stage. Such tactics are not uncommon in storytelling, particularly playwriting, but it’s done explicitly well here. Peter, conflated with the concept of himself Wendy has formed in her own memory and attached herself to, grows to represent and play the part of things much bigger than he could ever be. He’s the memory of Wendy’s last moments of joy, the now past concept of who she was, the personification of the only love she’s ever felt. He’s freedom, hope, love itself, happiness personified. But, when he finally comes back on stage, he’s simply Peter. He can’t, wasn’t, and won’t ever be any of those things, and the inevitable and wordless disappointment that comes with realizing this is the key catalyst to Wendy’s eventual recovery, which just happens to be one of the best utilizations of the concept I’ve seen in quite a while. 

Another absolutely stunning aspect of this play is Belflower’s use of visual/conceptual metaphor. For example, the most obvious is the window in Wendy’s room. Throughout the whole play, in a show of persistence and pointless hope, Wendy keeps the window open, even when the cold air makes her sick. She does this from the day she returns as a child to the day she sees Peter again and begins to let go. When she realizes Peter can never be what she needs him to be, she asks him to leave and closes the window. She lets go of her hope. It’s the single most fitting ending I’ve ever seen. Other examples of masterful metaphor in the production is Wendy’s kiss, symbolizing anything from purity to happiness, as well as the bedroom itself, which is symbolic of Wendy’s past and her unwillingness to leave it. The play is packed full of masterful metaphors. 

Finally, the best thing about this play, as with many, is the monologues, specifically Wendy’s. There are many instances I can, and will if prompted, go on and on about, but for the sake of word count I’m going to focus on one. That monologue is the one that is repeated/modified throughout the play. The infamous “I give myself eight minutes a day to think about him.” Throughout the production, Wendy delivers a version of this same monologue to the audience to benchmark where she is in her progress of letting go. It’s also her final monologue before she sees Peter again. The entire thing is always a wonderfully crafted literary masterpiece, but the mere concept of someone spending so much time in a certain thought process that they have a defined way to think about their own thoughts speaks for itself. The monologue is beautiful, truly. 

Honorable mention to the use of the chorus/other girls. It’s truly one of the best writing tactics I’ve seen in a long time, and Belflower uses it masterfully. 

Now, with all of that being said, I’ll close out now. Thank you for listening to my “Lost Girl” tangents, and I’ll see you next month!  

-Elliot <3

 

Recently, I watched a movie with a friend of mine. Totally captivated by the plot, of course I sought out a book to match. Something about the coming-of-age murder-mystery had me intrigued, and as a true Literary artist does, I wanted to find the written text to match the piece of media I had been so interested in. 

So of course, I went to my mother, the librarian, knowing that she had either read the book, or knew where to find it. And of course, she had one I could borrow. 

Now, one may ask, Adele how can you write a first impressions blog about a plot you have already seen? Now, that. That is a wonderful question, and in response to that wonderful question I want to mention the infinite ways that movies and the books that they are based on are different. In reality, It is incredibly hard to bring all of the beautiful aspects that make up an original text into a two-hour rendition of the same plot.

Synopsis:

Where the Crawdads Sing is a coming-of-age murder mystery about a young outcast that lives in the southern marshes, aptly nicknamed Marsh Girl, who is accused of the murder of a local handsome, young man. The intertwining story lines take the reader on a journey that has the audience questioning everything they know. 

First Impressions: 

From the first chapter, the most striking part of the text is the beautiful imagery the author uses to describe the southern marsh, which many people would not view as such. Owens opens on a jolting scene that really sticks with the reader. The scene where the main character, Kya, watches her mother walk down the dirt road away from their humble home on the marsh, never to be seen by the family again. The only indication that she has left for good being her alligator skin shoes and the carpet bag in her hand.

In this chapter, the time jumps to heartwarming memories between her mother and herself, and eventually back to a memory of her and her siblings. The chapter really does a good job of showing what her core values are and how the family unit Kya was born into is damaged.

She is the youngest of five siblings, and her father is a horrid, neglectful man. This fact made the impact of her mother leaving her earlier in the chapter even more heartbreaking. 

Overall, I really enjoyed the emotion put into this first chapter, and I definitely am excited to keep reading. 

Assumptions:

Okay, since I have already watched the movie I am going to skip out on this part of our regularly scheduled programming.

I am so excited to get into this novel, especially since it merges two of my favorite genres, and a setting that has so much depth. There are hundreds of ways that this book will definitely be different than the movie that I watched, so I am not going in with any expectations as to how they will be the same. 

 

Recently, I one of my favorite hobbies is to hit “generate” on a random poetry generator. More times than not, I find myself liking a poem, but not really relating to them. But the other day I found this poem that I became obsessed with. 

Some of my favorite poems are the ones that portray mundanity in a way that carries over to almost anyone who reads it. This poem is slightly a different variation of a portrayal of mundanity. In this poem, Elizabeth Hands tackles explaining her family dynamic in a way that many can relate to. Throughout the poem, she shows the reader how even in her own family, she often feels as if there is no real connection. 

One of the lines that really stuck with me was when Hand states,

“O what a strange parcel of creatures are we,
Scarce ever to quarrel, or even agree;
We all are alone, though at home altogether”

Through these words Hand perfectly sums up the feeling of monotony  that comes with her family’s perfectly “fine” relationship. She shows how the in between that her family’s interactions reside in is often lonely, because it results in the unintentional distancing from each other. 

I think this poem really speaks to the time we are in. Especially with the way technology consumes us today, many times you can feel alone while in a room full of people.  Elizabeth Hand really connected this feeling in a later portion of poem too.

“Like social companions we never fall out,
Nor ever care what one another’s about;
To comfort each other is never our plan,
For to please ourselves, truly, is more than we can.”

This line ends the poem on such a relatable note.  At first I only thought about the poem on surface level and didn’t think I could relate to it. I have a wonderful family, and most of the time, I feel like we are all very connected to one another. But as a reread this poem I realized that it speaks to so much more than what it was intentionally written to mean. 

This poem really captures the energy of how many of Gen Z feel when surrounded by our older family members. We, as a highly technological generation, have formed a sort of disconnect with the older generations unintentionally. Because we are so enraptured by the technology and all the information we have at the tip of our fingers, many times we forget to connect with our families and friends physically. We forget the importance of human connection. 

I think this really speaks to the reach of art and how even after decades, art can speak to anyone. 

howdy, guys! in this blog, i’ll be talking about some movies i watched recently that i absolutely love. some i watched over the summer and some during the first few weeks of school whenever i’ve had time, and i’ll be sharing a few of the highlights here! it goes without saying that elvis (2022) belongs on this list, but i already did a blog on it, so it’s not here. (and, hey, you know the drill–no spoilers and no particular order.)

terms of endearment (1983)

y’all…i don’t even have words for this movie. it’s one of my mom’s favorites, so we watched it together one night this summer, and i literally could hardly sleep after it because i just could not stop thinking about it. it’s the sweetest, most heartwarming movie ever but it’s also gut-wrenchingly sad. terms is so extremely relatable to me with my relationship with my mom and how i imagine myself as a mother. it paints a gorgeous, truthful picture of the challenging transition from girlhood to womanhood with unflinching empathy and humor. i actually rewatched it with my roommate last night and sobbed uncontrollably in spurts for the rest of the night. if you like steel magnolias, this is the movie for you. shirley maclaine is so wonderful, it’s my favorite jack nicholson role, and don’t even get me started on debra winger. the talent is unbelievable here. please, please give this one a chance. i’m so glad that i did.

 

 

girl, interrupted (1999)

this is a movie that i’ve always wanted to watch but have been saving for just the right time. ever since i first heard of it, i knew that i would love it because the cast, subject matter, and overall aesthetic just seemed like something crafted just for me. even the soundtrack has some of my favorite songs ever. i was definitely right. i’ve never related more to a movie in my life. to spare you from an extremely long rant about how much i love this movie, i’ll just include a brief review that i recently wrote for it:

“as someone who has suffered from a mental disorder my entire life, and as a young woman, this movie was a huge step forward in my healing process. it held a mirror to my flaws and to my strengths, it made me realize that i am not alone, and it helped me to connect with the other women in my life who love this film for the same reasons. so, yes, i do hate to see this film written off as an exploitative romanticism of the mentally ill because, for me, it’s the best representation of life with my disorder.

i understand and respect why some people feel inaccurately represented or offended by this film; but that simply wasn’t my experience with it. mental illness, especially amongst young women, is grossly misunderstood and often polarizing—girl, interrupted is a prime example of that. it’s far from perfect—it’s melodramatic, grimy, and sometimes over-the-top.

that being said, i do think it’s something everyone should form their own opinion about. i’ve read reviews saying that no one with mental illnesses could ever relate to this or act the way the characters do, which is extremely harmful, because, when i watched this, i related to it so vividly. harsh generalizations like the ones in those reviews are counterproductive and just as invalidating as the film was to the people who wrote them. so, please, take my opinion as well as any others you read with a grain of salt—watch this movie for yourself.”

 

 

the eyes of tammy faye (2021)

i was super excited when the ads for this movie came out, and i couldn’t wait to see it in theatres, but it sadly never came to any near me, and i didn’t hear much about it, so i assumed it wasn’t very good or something. i was so, so very wrong. as a longtime fan of both andrew garfield and jessica chastain and someone extremely interested in the topic of religious scandal, i enjoyed this movie more than i can say. jessica just totally captures tammy’s beautiful spirit, and the film is a wonderful love letter to the amazing person she was and the…less than amazing person jim is. this movie is campy, glitzy, heartfelt, and brilliant–just like tammy faye was. may her spirit live on forever.

 

dolores claiborne (1995)

this has got to be one of the most tragically underrated stephen king adaptations ever. admittedly, i can understand why, though. this movie does move at a fairly slow pace. even i didn’t watch it all in one sitting. so, why did i love it so much? two words–kathy. bates. she is such a genius. easily one of the best actresses of all time, and horror is a specialty of hers. at first, i was unsure of jennifer jason leigh’s direction with her performance, but the further i got into the film, the more i understood the merit of what she was doing and just how well she was doing it. i think that when we watch something by king, we expect it to be upfront horror, but this is more of a slow-burning psychological terror. in the past, i’ve been a critic about king’s portrayal of women and still am, but in this particular case, i was pleasantly surprised. i found it extremely relatable in many ways, and the dynamics between the female characters are nothing short of brilliant. this is an amazing story of revenge, motherhood, and women sticking together. the ending makes everything make sense, every slow moment necessary and worth the watch. i cannot wait to watch it again, knowing what i know now. it’s super quotable, too. i have notebook pages full of the dialogue from this movie. just so, so good.

 

 

well, if you made it this far, thanks for reading! a neat thing about this list is that it also kinda doubles as a good list of movies every feminist should watch. all these stories contain strong, powerful women and their journeys, and i highly recommend them for both educational and inspirational enjoyment! see y’all next time!

as a treat for making it through that blog, here’s a picture that represents my mental state at the time of writing it:

 

Flowering is one of my favorite albums of all time. Toru Kitajima, from J-Rock band 凛として時雨 (Rin Toshite Sigure), is, in my opinion, one of the greatest Japanese lyricists and musicians of the modern era. Best known for “Unravel” the first opening theme for the Tokyo Ghoul anime, he writes songs about the human condition, and what makes someone human.

The first song in Flowering is “Flower” (linked below)

 “Flower” portrays the initial loss. It is a very reminiscent song, with lyrics such as (loosely translated, not perfect) “My past brightened when I met you” and “I live in a colorful dream-world I don’t want to end”. This song also, as shown in the second line quoted, deals with the denial stage of grief. Overall, this is my second-favorite song in the entire album. 

Next, we have “Abnormal Trick”.

“Abnormal Trick” delves deeper into denial. The mourner does not want to accept the truth. This is shown with lyrics such as “Still hiding? What looked like secrets (don’t change) have pierced me” and “You can’t wake me up, me up/although someday I won’t be blamed for my sins,/Will I exist within?” . It, however, begins to fade into a form of acceptance with the line “Like a fool, I can’t change/Are the wonders destroyed by the unchangeable me still here? I want to see/I can’t wake me up, me up, me up” as the mourner begins to wish for freedom from their self-imposed catatonic state.

After this, comes the song “Haze” (linked below is the Egomaniac Feedback version, though it’s the same song.) 

This song is about the hatred towards the world can feel when grieving. It showcases a sense of apathy. This can be found as early as the first stanza:

This stanza seems to portray a sense of both derealization and apathy. It is likely that the tears referenced are the singers own, and the line “I don’t have any kindness to give anyone” speaks for itself in terms of portraying apathy. It also delves into how people who are grieving feel like they’re losing everything around them. This is shown in the third stanza:

However, the song shines a bit of hope with the fifth stanza, as TK sings:

 

This portrays a sense of willpower. Even though one cannot regain what is lost, you can move forward with your life and be happy again.

After this comes the song “Phase to Phrase”:

This song portrays a sense of fault within the singer, and the idea that they are the reason everything is out of control. This is emphasized with the lyrics of the song:

 

The singer says that everybody could become anything, and, despite his efforts, he becomes a chaos he cannot control. I believe that this is the peak of the self-loathing that can occur with grief. This song represents the upmost limit of his hatred for himself.

Next comes one of my favorite songs, “White Silence”:

This is the softest lyrical song in the album. It features Shione Yukawa for a portion of the song. This song is from a different perspective than the rest of the album, and is from the POV of the deceased. The song urges the mourner to move on. Showcased in the lyrics:

This is a stark contrast from the rest of the album, as oftentimes the singer refers to “you” in reference to being lost, instead of “I”. This song represents a transition into the next stage of the song, and the mourners life.

After this is “12th Laser”:

This song seems to be looking back on the previous songs. Once again in the perspective of the mourner, the song portrays the helplessness they felt when the person they are mourning first died. This is the first case of healing being shown.

Example lyrics for this are:

My heart couldn’t understand, a picture drawn by my left hand
The unconveyable color of sadness
A laser of memories beyond is shining through
I could not escape

The first stanza (shown above) portrays the idea that they were trapped, and “could not escape”. The thing keeping them trapped was their inability to allow themselves to heal and move on.

“Film a Moment” the fifth song in the album, is another song that focuses on looking back.

It both looks back on the time when the deceased was still alive, and once again at the period of time that the mourner was at their worst. It discusses the way that time had felt like it stopped. The song also portrays the struggle between wanting to remember the precious moments forever and wanting to forget them completely. This is shown in the lyrics:

 

The song feels almost like a blur, both musically and lyrically. The singer portrays a desperateness to become “whole” again; a desire to finally move on from their grief. However, they struggle to balance the happy memories and their future. This is what causes that “time freeze”.

The 8th song, “Daylily”, has no lyrics.

The daylily flower is a flower of many meanings, but the one most thematically correct would most likely be “forgetfulness and loss of memory”. It is a decision to forget everything and move on that way. A “bad” ending, though it’s not entirely over yet. It’s merely a step in the process.

After this comes the song “Fourth”.

This song is filled with a sense of yearning. The singer shows their desire to talk to the person they lost again, to experience the good times. The lyrics show this:

 

It is not desperate or rushed. It is filled with a sense of acceptance and finality. The singer understands that they cannot regain what is lost, but they have finally accepted it. They’ve realized that moving on is not forgetting, but living on in their name. It is bittersweet, filled with a sense of joy, yet also an understanding that it’s all over.

Finally, “Sound_am326 (Secret Track)”.

Once again a song with no lyrics, it is instead filled with acoustic guitar and piano. Reminiscent of all of the previous songs, namely “White Silence”, it represents a finality. It was made to be the closing track for the album, and fills that role excellently. It portrays all of the difficult feelings of mourning and moving on without a single word being sung. 

This is, as I’ve stated before, one of my favorite albums of all time. Toru Kitajima did a phenomenal job with the composition and portrays the story of a person in mourning wonderfully. The title is very fitting, as the album tells a sort of “coming of age” story about accepting ones emotions and learning to feel again after a severe loss.

Thank you all for reading! Next time, I’ll be covering the album White Noise, and the story it tells.

All translations initially found on Lyrics Translations (lyricstranslate.com) 

Hello everyone and welcome back to this month’s blog! If you remember last month’s blog, THAT’S GREAT because we’re diving right back in with the next song in the chronological story of the songs Killpop, Vermillion, Vermillion Pt. 2, and Snuff. Last month we went over Killpop and Vermillion… so you know what time it is now.

Vermillion Pt. 2: Track 11 from “The Subliminal Verses”

This song is a DEFINITE continuation of the story from Vermillion where (refresher) the man in the story sees visions of his ex-girlfriend who he killed and is currently still obsessed with. That song was angry and aggressive, but this one is a softer and slower song that really emphasizes his grief and sadness. He sings this song in a tone of somber acceptance. It really gives off the guilty and depressive feelings that the man is feeling. This song has a few lines that I want to go through so this blog might be a little longer than last time. 

“She seems dressed in all of me
Stretched across my shame
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through and covered me
I’d do anything to have her to myself
Just to have her for myself”

This stanza further reiterates how he has visions and hallucinations of her. She is dressed in all of him. She is everywhere he goes. He is singing about how these feelings are overwhelming him to the point where he can hardly take it anymore. He would do anything to have her back with him.

“I catch in my throat
Choke
Torn into pieces
I won’t, no
I don’t want to be this”

He is talking about the guilt eating him alive from the inside out. He doesn’t want to be a murderer. He doesn’t want to be the person that killed the woman he loved, yet he has to give in and accept the punishment for what he had done. Though, that doesn’t mean he isn’t trying to become better. 

Snuff: Track 11 from “All Hope is Gone”

This song is also a very somber and depressing song. This song takes place long after the girl’s death and is on a whole different album. Like I said earlier, he has been trying to become better not only for himself but for the spirit of his past love. Though, in this song, he has fallen in love with a new woman. He loves her all the same, but his past actions are constantly in the back of his mind. 

“Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again”

This is the man’s warning to the woman because he feels as if he is descending further into insanity again. He sees her as naïve and innocent since she has no knowledge of what he has done. The last line is like a reflection of past actions. He thought he killed his first girlfriend out of love, but it was actually rage and possession that pushed him to go to such lengths to keep her with him.

“Deliver me into my fate
If I’m alone I cannot hate
I don’t deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know”

This line also takes place a bit further in the future relationship between those two people. He has let himself become vulnerable with her and now is telling her about what he has done. He asks her to punish him or leave him. He doesn’t believe he deserves her and that since he has tried to change and failed, he asks to never know if he can truly change. He thinks it’s better not to know.

“So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won’t listen to your shame”

These lines are sung with a lot of painful and sad-rage undertones if you know what I mean. So, his new girlfriend is taking pity on him, and he thinks he doesn’t deserve it. He gets angry with her for telling him it wasn’t his fault, as if she was as delusional as he was. Though, she was only pretending because she was afraid of him. After the fight and they had both calmed down she called the police on him. You sold me out to save yourself is the embodiment of her calling the police for her own safety. He will no longer listen to the shame she feels for doing so because on the inside he wanted to be punished.

“Ooh, my love was punished long ago
If you still care don’t ever let me know”

This is the last line of the entire song and the ending of the story. It’s the last thing that the man wishes for the woman who had turned him in. He doesn’t want her to suffer, he just wants to be left alone in his punishment. He believes that he deserves this fate.

Thank you all for reading this month! Keep an eye out for next month’s blog where I’ll be analyzing a Ghost song instead. See you!

 

This long-anticipated album has been on repeat for about three weeks now.  It has so many elements within the album that blends so well together while also giving an insight into this artist as well as this artist’s struggles. It is such a wonderful complimentary album to MITO (Mood Swings In This Order) which was released a year before on March 12, 2021. It explores Ian’s journey of living with bipolar disorder and how he uses music to tell the story of how it has affected him. From beautiful ballads to upbeat bedroom pop, this album has really captured the essence of connection through music.

The previous album MITO 1, was mainly about MIITO a character curated from Ian’s own personal chaos. It builds an alternate universe that has somewhat the same characteristics as the biblical story between God and Satan. I really like how he tied it to his own experiences and gave us such rich, beautiful, and dark songs. Although you don’t have to listen to or watch the videos from MITO 1 to understand MITO 2, I highly recommend that you do simply because of how other-worldly the cinematography and music are. While MITO 1 talks about the relationship between MIITO and his creator, MITO 2 gives us the origins of MIITO and why he is the way that he is while also tying it to Ian’s disorder. Without further ado here is MITO.

Seraph

As I’ve said before this album has strong but subtle biblical tones and the first song really displays that. The song opens with an orchestra, something that helps to highlight the tone, and honestly, I was not expecting it. I’ve known Ian to sort of have these instrumentals in his song before, but it feels different. Both dark and heavenly like how people view the Seraph. A Seraph is an angelic being, regarded in traditional Christian angelology as belonging to the highest order of the ninefold celestial hierarchy, associated with light, ardor, and purity. It is a being that can be perceived as narcissistic, impure, or judgmental. Or at least that is what I got from the rest of the album. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This song describes MIITO’s fall from grace as something that is solemn and heart-wrenching. To compare it to the story of Lucifer, MIITO describes the fall as if he does not want to leave “heaven”, whereas on most accounts Lucifer does. Also, he says maybe three times “I feel myself changing” and I believe that he is being stripped of his celestial invulnerability and becoming human and subjected to the behaviors of man, bipolar disorder. I thought it was very interesting to see the parallel between the two.

Avalon

I’m going to skip ahead to (what I believe) is one of the best songs on the album. It has more of a modern techno feel to it. There is a balanced amount of auto-tune and electrical SFX that heavily accent this feeling. I especially like the reference to King Arthur with the title and the parallels of this sort of technology utopia the song gives. For context, Avalon is a paradise to which Arthur is carried after his death. I think this song is about distraction and wanting some sort of relief.  Because of the repetition of dance floor and parties I get the feeling of losing yourself and forgetting your issues with these big distractions as it gives the illusion of Avalon. Take me to your Avalon is said five times in the song and not to mention the amount that was stated in the adlibs. It is sort of a mantra meant to put you in a trance to make you believe that at this moment you’re happy. So really MIITO just wants relief from not only his disorder but the mix of emotions that he now has to face after leaving his creator, and in his way of coping, the only way to do that is to basically hypnotize himself. 

Sometimes I’m

So this is the last song on the album which is the best song, there is no debate. I think in this song there is a mixture of DPR IAN and MIITO as this had a more direct approach to bipolar disorder. Throughout the album, we see these metaphors and story-telling of what it’s like or how to deal with the disorder, but the outro song flat out tells you what it’s truly like. It seems all over the place with the switching of pitches and the placement of adlibs, but it still seems cohesive. I think what really brought out the theme of chaos was the switching of adlibs in your earphones. One part is completely in the left ear, then the next one is in your right ear. I especially like when artist incorporates these things in their work because it shows you how much detail and work was put into this. It feels like mania it feels like chaos, it feels tiring, draining, beautiful, and bright. I really love to see the different layers in the album all compiled into one song. Definitely an album of the year for me.