I open up to a blank page, document, note, and begin to write. My typing is faster than my mind and my mind is faster than my typing, but there are still words, and I’m still writing. My handwriting is messy and overly spaced, but so is my mind, and I’m still writing. Even if I may loathe the outcome, at the end of the day, it’s still writing. 

Journaling, though at times a battle to start, is entirely worthwhile. I am no expert at it, but if there is an expert at something as personal as journaling, I think I’d furrow my brow. The entire point of journaling is to write, well or not, about anything you want. A journal for you and you only, so you can really make it whatever you want. I use mine with no theme involved. The pages hold whatever is on my mind. Still, even with how free a journal is, I have found some advice and collected some experience that helps, because ironically the hardest part of writing a journal is the writing part. You can know it’s supposed to be messy and whatever you want, but it’s difficult to stay true to something so undefined. Freedom in messiness lets you discover more things about yourself, and that’s daunting, but immensely helpful. You can think more clearly once your thoughts are on the page instead of on the brain. 

One piece of advice I have found helpful is to write notes anywhere, everywhere, and on anything. Take that napkin from a restaurant and turn it into a notepad, then copy it down in your journal if you feel like it. You can also cut out bits from notepads, worksheets, sketchbook pages, etc., and glue them into your journal. Heck, stick entire sticky notes in there. It’s fun. The more chaotic your journal is, the easier it is to write chaotically in it. 

Telling yourself to write chaotically and messily can still leave you with the itchy feeling that you’re performing a task wrong. You become all too aware of every sentence you can reword, every punctuation mark you should put, the reading speed of your words. I find it helps to turn this into a more solid challenge. Challenge yourself to write with absolutely no punctuation, making the lack of punctuation undeniably the point, and only cast a glance at the last word you wrote if you must. Messiness goes from something you feel like you should be doing to something more fun with a mysterious outcome. 

Don’t confine your journal to only words. For me, my journal serves the purpose of writing every day, but I still draw in it. Journals are creative outlets where any urge you can fit on a page goes. You don’t even have to be good at drawing or writing if you think you aren’t. From the stone age to the day you’re reading this, humans from early ages have indulged in finger painting and writing and warbling tunes. It is human nature to create, and nobody has the right to say you must be good at it to do it. You, Picasso, and the people who drew on cavern walls are all united in the act of creation. That is good. Things can be good, messy, and upsetting. Go wild. 

Journaling, though at times a battle to start, is entirely worthwhile. I hope this helps you with your journaling joys and endeavors. There are still many ways to journal, and experimenting with different methods reveals different results for everyone. Even if these methods don’t spark a fire for you, keep messing around with all sorts of things. You’ll get there.  

I figured given the new word limit for blogs I ought to dive back into my routes, yapping endlessly about a TV show no one else has seen that ended over twenty years ago. Buffy The Vampire Slayer. 

I am shocked I haven’t written a blog about Willow Rosenberg yet. So guess what this blog is about. 

Willow Rosenberg played by Alyson Hannigan was introduced as Buffy’s goody two shoes best friend. Shy and socially awkward she had very few friends before Buffy, the only one truly being Xander. The comedic relief character for lack of a better word. Throughout the course of the show, Willow discovered her connection to witchcraft which she mixed with her existing knowledge of science. This brought her more out of her shell, and she started to gain a stronger personality away from simply being the nerdy friend. Willow’s first love interest aside from her brief stunt with Xander, was Oz, a short ginger werewolf. I believe he also helped draw out more of Willow’s personality and independence.

 

Skipping ahead to season four Willow and Oz had broken up, and she was entering college. This is where she meant her second love interest. Tara, the complete opposite of Oz earnestly mirroring an early Willow with a socially awkward and shy attitude. They quickly grew closer with the help of their shared status as witches. 

 

Willow’s relationship with Tara grew as it did with magic. After she brings back Buffy from the dead, which we later find out ripped her out of heaven. Her relationship with magic revealed itself in an unhealthy light. We start to see her dependence on it for the first time. Giles confronts her after finding out what she did and she is defiant in taking his warnings, a trait never seen before within Willow. Her dependency on magic quickly wedges a gap between her and Tara. Ultimately leading to the end of their relationship when she uses magic to manipulate Tara’s mind into forgetting an argument. 

Speaking of Willow’s relationship with magic it was evident to me that it was an allegory for substance abuse even before hearing the writer of the show confirm this. 

After their break up and almost losing her friendship with Buffy after nearly killing her little sister Dawn, Willow begins to try and get clean from magic. We follow her struggles with not using magic. Eventually she is able to completely stop using magic, being given a very minimal amount of scrutiny at one point but Tara is right there to back her up. 

They end up getting back together but soon after Tara gets shot and killed by Warren. Willow attempts to bring Tara back but is unable to because her death was inherently human and not by supernatural forces the same way Buffy’s was. This catapults Willow back into her magic addiction. Turning her into Dark Willow. She seeks revenge against Tara’s killers. Killing and skinning Warren, she attempts to kill the other two after not being able to and draining the magic from Giles. She sets out to end the world but is deterred by her friendship with Xander. Giles takes her away and helps her try and heal her relationship with magic. After this she doesn’t use magic for a while, except when her and Kennedy get together but it was her underlying guilt for moving on from Tara and killing Warren that caused her to subconsciously cast a spell that turned her into Warren. 

It was great to see Willow deal with that anger and guilt. Tara was a huge part of Willow’s story and it was great to see that she still meant something even after she was gone. As well as confronting Jonah and Andrew (the other men Willow tried to kill) with the role that they played, not letting them be blindly redeemed but seeing them show remorse. 

Seeing the actress for Warren mirror the Actress for Willow’s mannerisms was phenomenal to watch, as well as the way the camera was played with or the moments when they chose to switch out the actors. It was clearly a well thought out decision. 

This experience does scare Willow away from magic but this time she couldn’t run for long. Due to the circumstances her magic was needed to essentially save the world. 

The ending scene of Willow using magic perfectly contrasts the first appearance of Dark Willow. From  pitch black hair with soulless pupils to pristine white hair and her regular eyes. I love the incorporation of her eye color. It almost feels like a symbol of how the magic is not overtaking her, she’s still there behind it.  

Willow’s character ark was very interesting to me. Because to put a character so widely beloved through so much and shine her in a sort of antagonistic light is so interesting.

If you haven’t, it’s okay, I just recently read this epic tale myself. Also to note, Epics are long literary poems that tell tales of heroes and legends.  It’s literally an Epic.

This was an interesting read. A long one, but it still eventually caught my attention.  I wouldn’t have read this story on my own though. I read this for a class assignment and for it to be a learning experience for my test. This story was kind of wild.

For some context, Beowulf is a 3,182-line Old English poem about a Scandinavian warrior who helps this king defeat this monster. Then he goes to defeat some more monsters. The warrior of course is Beowulf, and he’s described to have the traits of loyalty, courageousness, and wiseness. He is super strong and can even hold his breath for hours. So, you know, what you would expect a classic hero to be like. The monster he went to get rid of is named Grendel. He’s described to be a giant monster with clawed hands and feet and jagged fangs. But his appearance has been depicted in different ways, but this is what is in the poem.  

Beowulf did end up finding Grendel and the battle ended with Beowulf cutting off Grendel’s limbs.  This is where the journey starts

After killing Grendel, Beowulf was awarded with land and some titles. He became a notorious hero, and since his fame grew big, more people requested his heroic help.  

So, the next person he ended up battling was Grendel’s mother.  Yup, she was like, “I’m about to avenge my son and no one is going to stop me”.  

Beowulf’s battle with her though was kind of tougher to beat. To point out, she was a sea-creature monster that lived in a black lake that was boiling and filled with monsters.  

She was biting his shoulder, trying to gash out his eyes, and some more stuff.  From what I remember reading, at some point it seemed as if the monster defeated Beowulf.  Which was a bad thing that led to a bigger bad thing.  The first bad thing was it leading to some of Beowulf’s army betraying him by abandoning him without checking if he was actually gone first.  Which led to him getting revenge, but back to the battle.  Beowulf did defeat the sea monster.  He killed her by slicing her head off.  The poem itself got really descriptive about it. 

Like I said, Beowulf was out here doing some things. Heroic things as they call it, but for it to be a poem it was some real serious actions and descriptions. 

Before the next battle Beowulf had to teach his people a little lesson about loyalty.  So, he did what most heroes in epics would do and threw the severed head of the monster he defeated onto the dinner table while everyone was eating.  Yep.  Just tossed it while they were enjoying their mead. 

It doesn’t stop their y’all.  But at this point I had gotten kind of tired while reading and missed a big plot which I’ll eventually get back to, but I did read the last battle.   

It was against a dragon. Yes! You heard it folks, he battled the huge reptile that steals everyone’s jewels and things like that.  Now, this battle was huge, and usually I would tell you how it ended. 

But! I’m not going to do that this time.  

Use this as your motivation to read this Epic and experience the journey along with me.  

On a new note, I’ve found out that the battles had some symbolism in them.  

 

 

 

Who was Jeff Buckley?

Jeffery Scott Buckley, A pioneer in the Alternative rock genre. Most people either know him for his immensely famous cover of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah or his most popular song “Lover, You Should’ve Comer Over” who has written over 230 total songs. His most popular album, Grace (1994) was his debut record album. He had previously released recordings of his performances at Sin-é. Sin-é Was a cafe that Jeff had worked in for some years, a cafe in which he also played in frequently.


Tim Buckley – Jeff Buckley’s Father.

Right after his shift, he would take off his apron, pick up his guitar, and play a multitude of songs. Mostly covers, however he would sometimes play his own songs on stage. He released these recordings as an album called “Live at Sin-é” This album was actually one of the first accepted by my hometown radio station. As thanks, Jeff sent a signed poster to one of my managers where I work now, who ran the radio station in the 90’s. 

 

Shortly after Jeff Buckley’s release of Grace (1994) Jeff Buckley got to work on his sophomore album, My Sweetheart The Drunk (1998). This album, in my personal opinion, had a different personality. It was more explicit, yet filled with the same passion. It was still Jeff Buckley but in a different font. However, this album was released posthumously. Jeff Buckley had written the majority of the album, but his life was tragically cut short.

How Did Jeff Buckley Die?

On May 29th, 1997 Jeff Buckley was waiting for his gig, he decided to swim into the Wolf river in Memphis TN, and Go for a swim fully clothed. With his boots on…  There was only one person who witnessed the events of what happened Keith Foti. They found Jeff’s body on June 4th, his hands and face mangled by water. Only identifiable by the golden ring on his belly button.

It was labeled an “Accidental Death” He had been known to disappear for short amounts of time, so his friends weren’t all that worried about him missing for a few days. Until they heard that they had found his body in the river. Keith Foti was with him before he died, he said that he had heard Jeff Singing “Whole Lotta Love” By Led Zepplin. 

What Did Jeff Buckley Accomplish?

 

Jeff Buckley was a pioneer in the field of alternative rock. His vocal range and guitar skills far outmatched a lot of others at the time. To many, he was known for his outstanding cover of Hallelujah. He brought an entirely different perspective to the song with his vocals alone. Over Jeff Buckley’s entire career, he released one studio album. Which was Grace. He died before he could finish his next album, sketches for My Sweetheart the Drunk. But even still, with only one album, he made an immense impact on the world.He won dozens of  awards and nominations. I put a list below with the website that posted the list. Most of which are from RollingStone for his album Grace being as outstanding as it was. 

2023: Rolling Stone’s 200 Greatest Singers of All Time: #131 Jeff Buckley

2022: Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time: #147 Jeff Buckley, ‘Grace’

2022: Rolling Stone 100 Best Debut Albums of All Time: #67 Jeff Buckley, ‘Grace’

2021: Rolling Stone Australia – The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time: #394 Jeff Buckley, ‘Grace’

2021: Rolling Stone 40 Greatest One-Album Wonders: #4 Jeff Buckley, ‘Grace’

2020: #147 on Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Albums of All Time

2016: Consequence of Sound listed Jeff Buckley as #26 of the 100 Greatest Singers Of All Time

2014:  Jeff Buckley’s masterful version of Hallelujah was inducted into the Library of Congress’ National Recording Registry as a culturally, historically and aesthetically significant recording

2014: Listed as one of  ’20 Artists Eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Next.’ Jeff became officially eligible in 2019.

2014: #4 on Rolling Stone’s list of “1994: The 40 Best Records From Mainstream Alternative’s Greatest Year”

2013: Rolling Stone listed Grace as #43 of the 100 Best Debut Albums of All Time.

2012: Rolling Stone listed Grace as #304 of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.

2011: Rolling Stone names Grace #22 of 100 Best Albums of the 90’s.

2011: Rolling Stone named Jeff Buckley’s version of Hallelujah #264 of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

2010: #39 Rolling Stone 100 greatest singers of all time.

NME lists Mystery White Boy as #22 of the 50 Greatest Live Albums Ever.

2010: Morrissey listed Grace as one of his 13 favorite albums of all time.

2010: Buckley’s Live at Siné was listed as #37 on Spin Magazine’s list of 100 Moments that Rocked Our World.

2009: On the Triple J Radio (UK) Hottest 100 of All Time, Buckley’s version of “Hallelujah” was voted in 3rd place, “Last Goodbye” was 7th, “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over” was 56th and “Grace” came in 69th.

2008: Rolling Stone Magazine ranked Buckley #39 in its list: The 100 Greatest Singers of All Time.

2004: Buckley’s cover of “Hallelujah” was ranked #259 of the 500 Greatest Songs by Rolling Stone Magazine

2004: Mojo Magazine Ranked Buckley #71 on its list of Icons: The Greatest Music Stars of All Time

2003: “Grace” was ranked #303 of the Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Albums by Rolling Stone Magazine

1998: Grammy Award nomination for Best Male Rock Vocal Performance for “Everybody Here Wants You”

1995: Triple J Radio (UK) Hottest 100 awarded #14 best song of the year in the world’s largest voting competition for “Last Goodbye”

1995: Rolling Stone Magazine nomination for Best New Artist

1995: MTV Video Music Award nomination for Best New Artist in a Video for “Last Goodbye”

1995: L’Académie Charles Cros awarded Buckley the “Grand Prix International Du Disque” on April 13, 1995 in honor of his debut album Grace

1994: Rolling Stone Magazine Ranked Jeff Buckley #49 on its list: Generation Next: The Future Of Rock

https://jeffbuckley.com/awards-and-nominations/

And with that, this blog has come to an abrupt close. I don’t think any blog could sum up my love for Scottie my beloved, and how much he’s done in my life. But I hope this sliver of information does justice. 

once a month, only ten more blogs. It’s a weird feeling. But all I’ve found I can do about it is write. but i guess that was what i was going to do in the first place so. 

media! if there is anything that can help me get out of a rut, or at least get to a place where i am feeling anything besides a weird lukewarm version of sadness all the time, it is media. though when people think about media they tend to only think about movies or maybe a podcast or two, which is fair i guess. but for the sake of both a more encompassing definition and an easier time writing this, when i say media, i mean any form of artistic entertainment. but formalities out of the way, lets get into contributing to the same format that i found myself reverting with the blogs in my junior year and name some pieces of media that have inducted the most emotion in me.

 

first off i cant talk about media that has really impacted me without mentioning this painting, i know that out of all forms of artistic media that is considered to be artistic media, paintings are one of the last things that come to mind. however i think that Nighthawks, an oil painting created in 1942 by edward hopper, is different, i think that it is interesting because of the indifference it provides when it comes to its level of recognition. a painting like this exists within the confines of a void. it was one of the first paintings in its time to reflect ideas of loneliness through vices of minimalism as well as capitalistic settings. 

when it comes to books there are so many different things that i could have mentioned, bram stoker, mary shelly, one of my favorite books of all time is a story written by a smaller author named Hanya Yanigahara. but for the sakes of appreciating a classic that was way ahead of its time i think i have to talk about the picture of dorian gray, this story is so incredible for a number of reasons, most of all it is one of the best “descent into madness” arcs i have ever read in my life. the story surrounds a man named dorian gray, a child of wealth and a prominent name within the upper crust of london. it is a 200-ish page story that tells the story of gray’s descent into madness as he slowly grows an admiration (soon turned fear) of a portrait of him that was painted by a close friend.

for my third instance of media that has moved me i knew that the soft white underbelly was something that i was going to have to talk about, even with that understanding there was still a part of me that wasn’t sure if it would be a good fit in the first place, but i decided that leaving it out would go against the core values of what the soft white underbelly is actually about. now a know a lot of you might be asking, what even is it, and that is a good question. The soft white underbelly is actually a youtube channel that follows a premise that was completely unheard of before they started the channel. the soft white underbelly is a channel that primarily does interviews with various types of people. they don’t do interviews with actors or models, but people, dealing with problems unimaginable. whether it be deep conversations about the lives of current heroin addicts, the stories of people who grew up in a way that not many people experience, such as amish, children of abuse, or even members of organizations like the KKK.

what i love so much about these videos are the levels of raw understanding and emotion that you can see seeping throughout every crack. another great aspect is the fact that many of the people who are interviewed end up getting help from the representatives of the channel, many of which work to get clean with that help. however, that is not always the case, a lot of people who are interviewed about their addictions do end up how many people with those issues end up, yet the soft white underbelly is able to create a legacy of information through immortalizing the stories of each of these peoples.

 

 

some people might recognize another person who made a similar prompt and a similar choice but i plead the fifth, all that means is they are right, because oh my god neon genesis evangelion is one of the best pieces of tv of all time and no one can hope to change my mind on that. whether it be the classic 90’s anime look, or the sci-fi aspects that didn’t seem too stereotypical or in your face, or the characters themselves. this anime is one of the best of all time, in fact if i was to go out on a limb i would honestly say that the only anime in my opinion that even holds a chance against this one in terms of quality it would be death note. but once again i digress. i am not going to explain too much about the plot of this show just for the sole reason that i think anyone that hasn’t seen it should definitely give it a watch.

for my final addition to this i would recommend the album the gaping mouth by a band called lowertown. while it is a lot newer than some of the additions on this list (the album coming out only three years ago) it is a must listen for me. i think that this album is especially unique because it so much different from some of their other works. the band lowertown is a two-person band who is on the smaller side when it comes to popularity. one of the coolest things they have done is open for a band called sign crushes motorist, which is one of my favorite artists of all time, but they are for a different day.

Hey guys, today’s blog is going to be about goodbyes. This blog has come faster than I imagined. Time seems so short when you think there’s too much of it. We as humans are never worried about the effects of time, but only the actuality of events. With that being said, I feel that I have been affected by this time phenomenon and it makes me a tiny bit sad about the way I have mistreated this very small portion of my life. However, I am more than ready for a huge change, and I regret nothing in life. I have enjoyed my time here at MSA fairly well, yet there are challenging policies in this place that I do not align with. On a better note, let’s get to the all the sad stuff and weepy goodbyes. 

#1 Goodbye to my dorm, room 605. This room has some of the most enticing yet insane memories, and I hope to God that I never have to forget them. This room has leaked, clanked, and almost even fell apart, yet it has occupied some of the greatest times in life. From figuring out how to clean the slick floor of the bathroom, how to stop the leaking sink, how to have dance parties after room check, deciding if we should doordash or take our chances in the cafeteria, and simply laughing out butts off @3am knowing we’ll be tired tomorrow, because the jokes only get funnier. 

#2 Goodbye to the most loving food service staff a student could have. The encouragement, advice, smiles, and simple interactions mean more each day than one could know. Thank you for the positive time, energy, and love that you pour into our food each day. There will be immense blessings given to your persons in the future; I will pray for them personally. 

#3 Goodbye to Dr. Alexis and the Literary Department. When I got here, I was expecting Ms. Sibley and didn’t know what to think of a new teacher, but I am forever grateful that I got one. I have been pushed past the shore and into the ocean of uncertainty. Every assignment, project, or masterclass has taught me patience, time management, problem solving skills. Sometimes I may have been unhappy about doing it, but I always ended up on the right side of the spectrum, because of you Dr. Alexis. There are moments in this world that make me question why things happen, but you becoming my teacher was never one of those moments.  

#4 Goodbye to my friends. If only I could express in words, the way you guys have supported me. Shakeera, Asia, Kaydence, I sincerely love you guys and nothing in this world could change that. During the hardest times of our lives, we have managed to stick together from beginning to end and there isn’t another group of people I would have rather struggled with. However, through the struggle there are always amazing times. From head bobbing to metal at 1am, to the dance parties, us playing tennis, pool, putting together puzzles, doing homework at the last minute, being upset when the sink leaks on our feet, and hiding from staff when they knock on our doors. This journey has been the ultimate test of time, truth, and trust. You are the most amazing young ladies I have ever come across, but never forget even thousands of light years away souls and hearts still may touch. I LOVE YOU. 

#5 Goodbye to my buddies. Ava, Sarah, and Erin. This is truly a bittersweet time, and I have no idea how to handle the emotions that have suddenly emerged. I don’t think I have any words to explain so wordless I will go. You guys fully occupy a piece of my heart and I will always love you. On your journeys near or far I wish you guys a wonderful and happy life. Ava you are terrifyingly beautiful, intelligent, and funny. Sarah you are the epitome of sweetness, joy, and love. Erin you are the ultimate yapper, the most committed fan, and my brain’s soulmate. BE GREAT MY LOVES. 

#6 Goodbye to myself. To the girl I was when I first came here. To the sweet, partially innocent 16-year-old that came here with a dream, I would tell her to just keep going. As a young adult I feel so bittersweet about this place, I truly can’t even tell if it was worth it or not. I’m leaving here with an entirely different outlook on life. Everyone should follow the examples of Dr. Harlie, Ms. Cristi Wolfe, and Ms. Lambert. They are sweetness and the epitome of help. 

That’s all for now guys. I hope that I see you all again in this lifetime or the next.

goodbye msa. 

it’s that time of year. for some reason– in this exact moment– it doesn’t feel like it’s time yet. i mean, a part of me still feels like a junior right now, daydreaming about my final goodbye. but i’m not. i’m a senior. and this is it. this is that final goodbye.

it feels soon. don’t get me wrong, i’m ready to leave. if i’m anything, it’s that. but something just feels weird about it. this doesn’t really feel like the end right now. and while in the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t, in my small little life right now, it is. i think im ready. i have no choice but to be.

a part of me still feels like that 16 year old who came to this school with no idea what i really wanted to do with my life. i knew i was good at writing, and i knew i loved music, but that was really it. i had no idea that year i would be meeting some of the most important people i’d ever meet in my entire life. and i’m happy to say that now, a year later, those people are still in my life. i would not be the person i am today without them. and even though i’ve been apart from them for the past year, i don’t feel any less amount of love for them. 

on the other end, a part of me feels like i’ve already graduated. like i’ve been in college for the past year and i’ve fully accepted the fact that i’m on my own. and that i’ve been acting like i’m on my own. i don’t know which daydream is closer to reality.

nevertheless, the present is real, and the present is nothing more than dwindling weeks leading to graduation. my best guess is i’ll be here for maybe two more weeks. i’m hoping to move out as soon as i can, because like i said, i’m ready to leave, even if it hasn’t really felt like two years yet. 

i always thought that the seniors that graduate truly knew this place. but i feel as though i know nothing about this place. i know how it’s made me feel, and i know what’s happened to me here, but i don’t really know this place like i thought i would. i don’t think anyone does. i think we all leave this place with a vague idea of what it was actually like. as if the brain is hiding all the in-between moments experienced here. or maybe it’s just me. 

i always thought my last post here would be grand and sentimental, but it isn’t. i’m writing this the day of it being due. i’m writing my thoughts as they come to me. in all honestly, i’m more focused on planning out the rest of my day. as if this isn’t a big moment. as if this isn’t one of the final thoughts of a set routine i’ve built over the past two years. it’s bittersweet– but as if the sweet side is unbearably sweet. and the bitter side is overwhelmingly bitter. everything is too much. but it’s memorable, nevertheless. the strict clash of good and bad is memorable. 

i don’t want to make this too long. or sentimental. i’m just another person passing through the grip of this school. another author lined up in the search bar. i plan to get a degree in journalism and creative writing. i want to be a writer. and i want to be a musician. and this is the final note typed by my hands on this keyboard that is not really mine but has my dna lodged into its keys. the last time i’ll press publish. this is it. the end, so far.

for the last time, thank you for reading, and i’ll see you somewhere along the line. peace out.

So, this is it. The last blog. It’s quite funny how it’s the little things, to me, that make the end of milestones bittersweet. I remember having to do the blogs every week and it was difficult to keep coming up with topics to talk about. Now, this will be the last time you’ll hear from me on here because I’ll be graduating. Knowing you’ll be doing something, big or little, for the last time because of a big change can make me feel many things. It’s becoming more real as each little thing comes to an end right before officially ending my high school career.

Most of my favorite memories came from my time here as well as some bad ones. Nevertheless, it truly is an unforgettable experience from beginning to end.

I found all my favorite people and made friendships to last me a lifetime. It’s really hard to say goodbye to people you’ve grown so close with and you know y’all are going your separate ways. I have found healthy relationships that I never want to let go of. I have found who my real friends were and people who genuinely loved me and cared about me, and for that I will forever be grateful.

(I had more pictures and video clips, but none I can share on a blog, lol)

I’ve made incredible memories that I never want to forget. I know that when I look back years down the road, these will be my best memories. I was genuinely happy and content with my life. I’ll always remember the trips, the events, both proms, everyday life, going out with friends, and enjoying the present moment. There were definitely some core memories made here.

I found out what kind of person I wanted to be while I was here getting to know all kinds of different people and learning others’ stories. I learned what values were my own and which ones would kind of guide who I’ll be all throughout my adult life. Attending a live-in high school and getting a somewhat college experience two years before college tends to do that.

Before I began coming here, I thought I was set for what college to go to and I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life. So many things have changed since then, and I learned to stop worrying about things(for the most part) that I can’t control. I feel more steady and yet anxious at the same time. You’d think it’d help to know that there are just some things I can’t control and I shouldn’t try to, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes it scares me more when there’s nothing I can do. But I know what I want to do and I need to let things fall into place as they’re meant to. I’ll pursue writing all throughout my life, wherever that takes me. I know I won’t be alone for the ride, and I’m very thankful for that.

MSA  will always be a big part of my life and it’ll be very bittersweet when this chapter ends. It wasn’t always the best, but I know that when I reflect on my life, I can thank this place for being where I found my favorite people and discovered my favorite things about myself.

I wish everyone reading good luck wherever life takes y’all. I hope you’ve enjoyed all my random topics and posts. Thank you for reading all this time and listening to my rambling. For the last time, much love<3