Thirteen Reasons Why

Can I just say, the book is way better than the show?  Netflix isn’t doing the best job at portraying the characters correctly but it’s being renewed for a third season, so they must be doing something right.

I read the book when I was in 7th grade and it always stuck with me because Hannah Baker really took the time to methodically record her accusations of the people around her and have them sent out to those she had accused. Off top, I thought she was crazy, but 12 year old me had been consumed by Hannah’s secrets. I thought she was the victim, that she’d done no wrong and she was just a victim of severe bullying. Her suicide was sad and it took a toll on everyone!

Now that I’m older, I know that Hannah was not the only victim. Some of what happened, she caused. If she weren’t so stuck on trying to fit in an did accepted, she would’ve known that there were people that actually did care for her. She was manipulative and wanted to be seen. She took all matters into her own hands instead of leaving it to fate and going about her life. It was lie Hannah needed attention, needed to be seen, needed to be valid through other people’s eyes.

“Death and dying has always been a popular theme for kids,” said Josalyn Moran, vice president for children’s books at Barnes & Noble. “Kids like to read about situations that are worse than theirs and figure out that ‘O.K., my life isn’t so bad.’ ”

This is a statement I agree with because those who I know have watched the series come to social media platforms to criticize the decisions of the characters and how they are thankful or what they would have done if it were them in the situation.

“Eerie, beautiful, and devastating.” —Chicago Tribune

“A stealthy hit with staying power… thriller-like pacing.” —The New York Times

“Thirteen Reasons Why will leave you with chills long after you have finished reading.” —Amber Gibson, NPR’s “All Things Considered”

“Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a strange package with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker—his classmate and crush—who committed suicide two weeks earlier. Hannah’s voice tells him that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out why.”

It seems even in death that Hannah is finding a way to victimize herself and be manipulative. She’s blaming others for her death, when she was the one who took her own life. She leaves these people with all these dark secrets and expects them to pass them along, how wild is that?

Although it was a great book, I feel like it could give impressionable people the wrong idea, regardless of age. It’s up for interpretation and the enjoyment of those who can side with it, but I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone.

Deathly Hallows pt 1

 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 

Honestly, J.K Rowling is a genius. She kept an entire audience, young and old, entertained through a series of of seven books are people are still asking for more. We were able to follow Harry from a boy into the trials of the Wizarding world, to becoming a man outcast by society. The series itself gives people heart break, as well as hope. The story line is anything but flat as Harry and the lives of his friends all intertwine and become codependent in one way or another. Harry builds true friendships and defeats enemies, as well as recovers his past along the way. The story has a whole will have you on the edge of your seat due to how exciting and thought provoking it is. Any question there could have possibly been was answered through a book or movie or Rowling herself. We see Harry grow and learn, lose and gain, as well as lose himself in the worst ways. He is only a boy at the beginning of the series, and by the end, he is anything but. He overcomes many trials, gains fans, supporters, and those who would rather see him dead, but through it all, he never gives up. We can thank Ron and Hermione for their help in aiding and being there for Harry at his best and worst, along with many other friends he meets along the way.

In part one the Order of the Phoenix trying to get Harry transported to the Weasleys’ house safely. Unfortunately, Voldemort’s crew has been tipped off that the transfer is happening, and so they’re waiting for Harry and his friends when they fly away from the Dursley home. There are some complications along the way, deaths to be exact, which is a really sad way to start the beginning of the end. Then there’s a wedding in which everyone is attacked by Lord Voldemort and Hermione, Ron, and Harry all have to flee. They end up in some wood, in which Ron destroys his wand, and then they have to go off and Horcruxes with no real plan of survival other than whatever Hermione can conjur up. The movie as a whole make it seem as if the whole world is against Harry, and the other two by association. They all struggle to hold on to their sanity, and they were all forced to protect their families. Hermione gets the worst end of the stick here as she is forced to wipe her parents memory of her and their own personal lives.

The gang goes through many more deaths, realizations, fights, and near death experiences. I can only assume that like myself, the rest of the audience if fully enticed the entire time.

As all that drama has been unfolding, Hermione has been reading a book that Dumbledore left her in his will, and it has a symbol that keeps popping up. They first saw it at Bill and Fleur’s wedding on a necklace that Luna’s father, Xenophilius, was wearing, and then it showed up again on a grave in the cemetery at Godric’s Hollow. They’re pretty sure it must be significant, so the gang decides to go visit the Lovegoods to find out more about the symbol and its meaning.

They then make a trip to the Malfoy house to retrieve information, but there is Bellatrix Lastrange, but not only does she torture Hermione for information, but she ends up killing Dobby, the ex house elf who came to the aid of the trio in their time of need. That is the ending of the beginning of the end, and it is in fact a sad one.


Image result for twilight book seriesOkay guys, so i’m sure most of you, if not all of you know what Twilight is. If not, Twilight was both a book and movie series from 2005-2008. It quickly became the center of most preteen girls and boys lives. Glittering vampire, jealous werewolves, a human girl caught in the middle? What more could you ask for?

Image result for bella jacob and edward At the time, I thought Bella had the best of both worlds. Her best friend of many years, Jacob, was changing as well as beginning to develop feelings for her. But Bella had other plans. She found herself falling for a “teen” vampire who happened to be so many years older than her. She was stuck between two worlds she didn’t understand, but instead or removing herself from the clear issue at hand, she digs herself deeper into it!!

Bella decides she wants to be with Edward, the vampire, and break her best friend, Jacob’s, heart. I honestly don’t know why she thought that was a good idea but it got her into a hell of a lot of trouble!!

Edward liked Bella so much that he left just to save her from himself, but she wasn’t having that. Bella became reckless in hopes of getting Edward back, which she eventually did but only because he thought she was trying to kill her self (stupid). Honestly? The relationship was really toxic but at the time I thought her love for him was romantic. Bella was out of her mind over Edward, completely forgetting Jacob as he transitioned from boy to man and human to werewolf (what a horrible best friend). Bella was so wrapped up in Edward that I think she stopped caring about herself. Bella was absolutely the dumbest teen girl that could’ve possibly been written. Jacob was left neglected and he even became angry with Bella. Trust, I do not blame him at all!! Edward had other things to worry about, like being 100s of years old and having the Vultori look over his families shoulder. But he had to subject himself to looking after some human girl who threw a hissy fit at the slightest inconvenience. Some time later in the series we see Bella bond with Edward’s family and they begin to protect her as one of their own, but she said shunned by the wolves. I don’t blame them either, you pick a side and you stay there you know? Bella even wants to pursue a sexual relationship with Edward, even after he tells her he could KILL her. But again, silly Bella is a self satisfying idiot. Eventually, Bella things go from good to bad and Bella is now being hunted by a super nasty vampire named Victoria, which makes the Cullen (Edward’s family) protect her. Their lives soon become centered around Bella and she claims she doesn’t want the attention, yet she’s always in the middle of mischief. Bella Swan is in fact, an idiot. Why couldn’t that have been me in a love triangle with a vampire and werewolf? I would’ve played my cards right.

Finding Self

The other day one of my friends and I were catching up and he referred to me as a Tumblr girl, and I understood exactly what he meant.  All my life I’ve been this image of balance and I’ve preached about loving and finding yourself, all while trying to find myself; trying to figure out self love. Some days, I absolutely love myself, the way I look, who I am as a person, what I stand for. I think i’m the greatest thing on two feet. Other days I look in the mirror or i’m sitting in my bed and i’m questioning why I was ever born. Why is it that i have to live this life, in this body, at this time. Self love is important, and I don’t lack it, but I do often forget to exercise it.

I realized that you have to practice what you preach, but I find it a lot easier to put my energy into others, to love and care for them, to guide them; even if I haven’t gotten it all figured out for myself.

But I know you can’t always put other people first, because you matter! 

I’ve often been in situations where I put myself on the back burner, given up on myself, my dreams, even my writing. But I’ve also always been there to pick my own head up, put the pen back on the paper, or at least have enough sense to look for encouragement. I have made it a point in my life to give myself breaks, regroup, and come back refreshed. As people, we tend to be hard on ourselves. Nitpicking at small things, being insecure, obsessing on materialistic matters that won’t matter after a while. You’ve got to remember that you are a living, breathing being. You have feelings. You’re emotional just like everyone else. It’s completely okay to cry.

There was a point in my life when I felt completely hopeless. I felt as if my worth wasn’t good enough, as if I was only spitting out art because I had to. I’d lost my passion, my drive, and I had no intention of reigniting that flame. I didn’t see a reason to, as in my mind, my life was already in shambles. How pitiful does that sound? For about three months it was like this. I’d go to class, sleep, and never leave my room. I was the party pooper of the year. After some self reflection and thought collection, I realized I didn’t like my own energy. It was as if I was making myself sick. And who wants to be sick?

As a self help and/or remedy to my problems, I went out and bought some new journals and pens. I wrote for hours, expressing on paper what’d been trapped in my mind. I expelled all the negative energy and used it to get my head in a good space.

I fell both out and back in love with myself and my writing in a matter of months. It just had to be done, because sometimes you have to look at an old thing with new eyes and readjust. It was a necessary evil of sorts. And I say all of this to say:

  • practice what you peach
  • learn to love yourself
  • never give up
  • give yourself a break
  • you’re only human

Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard

“Mare Barrow’s blood is red—the color of common folk—but her Silver ability, the power to control lightning, has turned her into a weapon that the royal court tries to control.

The crown calls her an impossibility, a fake, but as she makes her escape from Maven, the prince—the friend—who betrayed her, Mare uncovers something startling: she is not the only one of her kind.

Pursued by Maven, now a vindictive king, Mare sets out to find and recruit other Red-and-Silver fighters to join in the struggle against her oppressors.

But Mare finds herself on a deadly path, at risk of becoming exactly the kind of monster she is trying to defeat.

Will she shatter under the weight of the lives that are the cost of rebellion? Or have treachery and betrayal hardened her forever?

The electrifying next installment in the Red Queen series escalates the struggle between the growing rebel army and the blood-segregated world they’ve always known—and pits Mare against the darkness that has grown in her soul.”

The second book in this three book trilogy is action packed, with relationships breaking, where others build. Mare, the main character, must learn who to trust; but it seems as if that remains no one.

Among Mare’s escape at the end of Red Queen, she discovers that her once pronounced dead brother, is in fact, very much alive.

Between rescuing her own heart, having mixed feelings for a fallen and betrayed prince, and saving New Bloods who are like her, Mare is living the busiest of lives.

When all else fails, she know she can rely on herself, and if no one else can help her, she knows she will.

In this story, secrets are revealed, allied are made, enemies are defeated and reappear.

After narrowly escaping the burning city of Naercey, Mare and her friends make their way to a secluded island where her family and the Scarlet Guard lie low. Bruised and beaten, Mare quickly realizes she can’t trust anyone, not even her closest friends—maybe not even family. But Mare has a plan: she’s going to track down the rest of the newbloods—Reds with unknown powers that rival the strongest Silvers’—and build an army. She sets out with those closest to her, including Cal, the now disgraced prince. Feeling incredibly alone, she can’t help but gravitate toward him; they share an ache for the person they both believed Maven to be before he became a treacherous king. As her conviction rises, so does the body count, and it isn’t long before Mare becomes eerily like the killer she’s trying so hard to destroy. Though her friends are disturbed by what she’s become, not even they can stop her now. Her quest is fraught with trials and bloodshed, but the action lags; the traps begin to feel too familiar, and the first-person, present-tense narration spares no detail. Tragedy seems to be a certainty before the end, but the spectacle still packs a surprising punch.

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

“Red Queen is a young adult fantasy novel written by American writer Victoria Aveyard. It was her first series and her first novel. It was published in February 2015. Its sequels are Glass Sword, King’s Cage and War Storm”

“A sizzling, imaginative thriller, where romance and revolution collide, where power and justice duel. It’s exhilarating. Compelling. Action-packed. Unputdownable.” (USA Today)

“Aveyard weaves a compelling new world of action-packed surprises… inventive, character-driven.” (Kirkus Reviews)

“A volatile world with a dynamic heroine.” (Booklist)

“Breakneck pace and engaging characters.” (School Library Journal)

“ [Aveyard] sets her audience up for a gaspworthy twist that reconfigures nearly every character’s role and leaves Mare with no one to trust but herself… This blend of fantasy and dystopia will be an unexpected and worthy addition to many genre fans’ reading list.” (Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books)

“Fascinating world building… Readers will be intrigued by a world that reflects today’s troubling issues concerning ethnic inequality, unfair distribution of wealth, pollution, warfare, political corruption, and the frightening power of the media.” (Voice of Youth Advocates (VOYA)

In a world where opposites don’t attract in the slightest, Mare Barrow is in the middle of it.

This story starts off as your average poor girl just trying to make ends meet and save her family and only friend from absolute poverty, all while trying to save herself from conscription, compulsory enlistment for state service, typically into the armed forces.

Mare has seen her brothers before her, leave to fight a war that is not their own, her own, but soon she will be apart of it if she doesn’t find a way out.

And above all, she must sit through mandatory displays of power by Silvers; the rich, wealthy, and all powerful beings of silver blood. Mare finds herself hating the Silver kind, but also comparing them to that of Gods.

Mare’s life is in an unending spiral, especially when she gets her sister into a situation that leaves her with broken fingers, and Mare a guilty heart. Soon after, Mare meets a man who changes her life, later finding out he is heir to the throne of Norta. He gifts her a job within the palace, which is fine and dandy until her life is put on the line.

Mare’s life flashes before her eyes as she plummets into a pit of electricity at the Queenstrial event, to choose the next queen. But instead of dying, something incredible happens.

Mare beats death and as a cover up, the King and Queen of Norta throw Mare into a life that is not her own: the forgotten princess Mareen Titanos.

She is then betrothed to the second son of the king: Maven Calore, the prince, and that is all he will ever be.

Along with her new life, Mareena is put in the routine of becoming a “proper lady” which is unlike herself.

Mare and Mareena are two different personas, but she feels as if they are often morphing, forgetting herself.

Mare must prove herself to the Queen, who torments her at every turn, the Red Dawn; people of her own kind who fight for a cause and against the crown, and the crown and the royalty behind it.

There is a twisted turn at every point of this story and it will for sure keep you on edge.

Apparently i’m telling you guys about my experience of liking an artist?

Being in love with an artist is heartbreaking

You are in love with him and he is in love with his ex

While you admire him, he obsesses over a woman he lost years ago because he was selfish and young

When you walk through your own home now, every wall bares a painting of a woman you’ve never met but you feel as if you know because of him

Her eyes, which should be lifeless, are filled with burning passion that is not directed at you

And you know it is not her own, but the man’s who has spent so much time trying to recreate the perfect image of her

She stares back at you with different emotions




And in the strokes of paint that create her, you see him

Your lover has a hunger you cannot  satiate because you are not the woman of his desire

But a mere substitute to pass the time

And although you love him, his work, his passions

You do not love her

You are jealous, envious

You wish she would disappear from your home, your life, him

But she will stay and so will your heartbreak

And you will try to force an incompatible morphing between you and her

In image, because that is all you have

You do not know much about her, so how could you duplicate what he recreates

And you know that you are not enough

Really, but not Really

You are the girl in love with an artist

Or maybe

You love him and he doesn’t return that feeling


Because he is still in love with the girl who’s heart he broke

You are trying to fix a man who does nothing but break other people

And he will hold you in his hands like palettes and paint brushes 

He will paint the love of his life on you in the same fashion he creates strokes on his canvases

His love for her will be staring back at you in the middle of your hallways at 2 am while you are getting water after a heated paint session 

And you will know that you cannot satiate his lust because you are not his modern day Mona Lisa 

His hands will be covered in paint, just as his lies are covered in sugar

And your mother told you to never sugar coat anything, but here you are on a Sunday morning lying to your family about how in love you two are 

He is an artist and you are a writer

And you’d think that’d be a match made in heaven 

Yet he obsesses over a dancer who now belongs to the world instead of a man who continuously tries to capture her in every image he creates 

To him you are canvas, fresh and new 

But she is his favorite shades of purple and blue

Her eyes are always blank in every photo because that’s the only expression he remembers her having 

And he will splatter orange and red on you

Soon you’ll be purple

Black and blue too

Unfinished Poems


Woman turned Gorgon

You didn’t deserve what happened to you

Fool for a God in a temple for a night

Snakes upon your hair for the rest of your life

To bed with a bed blissfully

Unaware of you fate

And now angry, and alone, without a mate

Cursed by a Goddess for all of eternity

For no man to love

For no one to see

Turning people to stone

Like your heart

It is dark and bitter

And like your beauty

Won’t you wither


Daddy’s Girl

If my father were still alive I feel as if i would’ve been a daddy’s girl
But he’s not, so i’m not
Because of childish decisions and careless mistakes
I now have no one to make my house stable when it shakes
No one to take my side when my mom tells me no and no one to show me the ropes
My mom became my mom and my dad when he died
And she had to do it all on her own, keep me alive
His death made us strong, closer
And i’m glad God chose her
One parent became two and she taught me how to tie my shoes
To ride a bike
To drive
And daddy didn’t because he couldn’t
And that doesn’t bother me anymore
But i always wondered
Would I really be a daddy’s girl if he were alive

Searching for yourself in destructive fashions
In the beds of men you won’t remember tomorrow
You don’t know love, not of self or other
Fighting for control within yourself

You’re spineless in a backless dress, too weak to be anything but
Hand out, begging
You need but don’t know what
Get a grip on reality instead of getting lost in lines of coke

You’re a child begging for forgiveness
Needing a hand to hold

In your skin, you find comfort
You find solace, you find beauty, you find intelligence
In your skin you find…
You find pity, self -loathing hatred
In your skin you find love, love of living, love of self
In your skin you

Distressed denim and mind sets make for good back stories
Ripped knees and jeans
All unholy things
I am unstable and distracted
My mind draws blanks
I can’t even think straight
Exhaustion overpowers me and I can barely stay awake
I want to overachieve but I can’t believe that I am able to do a lot of things
I am useless

The Nile – Short Story

51 August 30 BC

Nile River

We admired her beauty from afar. From under our veils we watched her, the great Cleopatra; greet her loving subjects on her own for the first time as their sole ruler. Her long black hair swayed in the wind and her skin shimmered against the sun. Everyone loved her dearly, much more than her father. I’d known Cleo all my life and knew that ruling over this land was not what she wanted, although she loved all the luxuries she would have rather been a common girl. My companion was Cleo’s first love, and he, he loved her still. As her carriage left my line of sight, my partner dragged me with him to Cleo’s palace.

“Come! Come! We must hurry to find an entrance,” Ahmes, my companion shouted. We crept around the palace slowly and with stealth, acting as if we were walking to the gardens. When we reached the far end of the wall we began to look for our old, secret entrance. It was the height of a large barrel and the width of a clothing trunk. Once we found it we climbed through and replaced the bricks when we got to the other side. We crawled through a series of interconnected tunnels and moved a hidden wall panel. Ahmes & I entered Cleo’s old room, and to our surprise it still looked the same, except Cleo wasn’t in her usual spot, on her floor with a scroll in her hand. In fact she wasn’t there at all. We sat on her bed, knowing she’d come. “Hey look, she still has our hieroglyphs painted on her wall; I thought she would’ve gotten that painted over.” I exclaimed. I was purely amazed at how long Cleo had kept those childlike paintings on her wall. We’d drawn them there 10 years ago, when were 10. “Oh, how great,” Ahmes’s words oozed sarcasm. He still loved Cleo with everything in him, but was extremely angry that he hadn’t married her.

“Don’t be such a sourpuss; I’m sure Cleo still has feelings for you. You know royals have to marry royals, her siblings means nothing to her.” I tried to cheer him up to the best of my ability. We stopped moving at once, listening for voices, and ran to Cleo’s secret closet. We sat for many hours, waiting and listening. “My legs hurt,” I whined. “Shut up Amuntu, you’ll get us caught.” More silence, an even longer wait. It was so boring that we fell asleep.

We awoke to the setting sun. What a beautiful view it was, blues, reds, oranges, and pinks emitted from the skies. Then there was a big dark sky, with the moon herself shining ever so brightly. We admired her, and the stars in all its beauty. After a few minutes of silence, Cleo’s old cat, Apu, waddled into the room. She was excited to see us, purring loudly and walking into the closet to sit with us. “No Apu, go away. Go, shoo.” “Apu, come.” She left us at the sound of Cleopatra’s voice. “What were you doing in there? I hope you weren’t scratching at my new dresses.” She walked toward the closet, pushed it from her path, bent down and simply smiled at us. She used her index finger to let us know to follow her. Neither of us could get our words together. She made us sit immediately. “Hello old friends, I’m glad to see you again. I knew you’d come,” she chirped. I spoke first, “Cleo! We missed you so much. It’s been so long, I thought you’d forgotten about us.” “

“Don’t speak for me,” Ahmes grumbled.

“Oh Ahmes, stop that, you know that wasn’t my choice, if it was, I would’ve married you.”

He simply walked over to the animal skin rug in the corner of the room and picked up a bundle of papyrus, beginning to read it.

“Don’t mind him Cle, he’s just upset.”

“That’s quite alright, I’d be angry too if the only person I’d ever loved left me for the throne I was born in to.” as she spoke her eyes twinkled and it sounded as if she were laughing lightly.

We sat in silence for a few moment before Cleopatra announced, “I will be meeting the great Julius Caesar tonight, I will be back in two days’ time, feel free to roam my home, it is yours for the taking.” She then vanished, while Ahmes & I prepared for dinner and then later bed.

Meanwhile Cleopatra was being dressed in the finest silks and cloths possible, her hair and her make up looked so utterly beautiful against her skin. “Roll me in this here carpet and deliver it to Caesar’s home.” Her servants did as told and within an hour she was delivered to his door. When Caesar unrolled his newly found carpet, he was welcomed by the sight of a radiant Cleopatra staring at him with fierce eyes. He chuckled and pulled her from the floor. ‘A sight of ethereal beauty you are.” Cleo, previously kneeling before him, sauntered to a nearby stool. “Julius, how kind of you to welcome me in to your home,” she said with a smirk. “Always a pleasure to have such a lovely woman of your stature near.” Cleo and Caesar talked for several hours, of everything and nothing, until one topic in particular rubbed him the wrong way. “I believe it would be best if we joined forces, in marriage perhaps, to rule our two lands as one and build a stronger empire,” Cleo said as she glanced from her nails to Julius’s eyes. They showed a hint of hesitation, and so did his words. Which grew angrier by the second. He shouted and argued, although he’d have loved to rule two lands, sharing his power, let alone with a woman, was unthinkable. Cleo stormed off, all the while Julius began forming a plan to destroy what she loved most.

“Ahmes, we have to hurry!” we were being attacked by only Osiris knows who. We needed to make our way to Cleopatra’s room and get her into hiding immediately. When we finally arrived, Cleo was changing, and shouting orders at anyone within ear shot. We had to get her to safety. “Cleo, come with us, please.” Ahmes pleaded with her, Cleo had always been stubborn, so Ahmes took it upon himself to be her knight in shining armor. Before I knew it, he’d thrown her over his shoulder and we were on a small boat to our favorite hiding place. And then I knew, only time would tell what was to come and our lives would change forever.