the art of being alone

Self-isolation is something I’ve become more than accustomed with since I was very little. I grew up with four other siblings and even though the house was always full, I was always alone. It’s not because I was excluded or anything, I chose not interact with others. Of course there are a lot of other things that factor into my love for anti-socialism, but that’s not what this post is about. From the outside looking in, many people see being alone as something that is sad and depressing. As an antisocialist, I am here to debunk all the negative stigmas that surround the art of being alone.

Get to know yourself

Often times I tend to hide my own interests to fit in with the people around me. It is a survival tactic that I’ve learned at a young age to thrive in the social environment I was in. Therefore, my own personality would often drift away as I adapted to whoever I hung around. However, earlier into the pandemic I had a sort of identity crisis because I didn’t know what I liked or what I found entertaining. Being by myself really forced me to come to terms with my lack of personality. It also really helped me to identify the things I actually liked and disliked.  I found my love for K-pop and art again. I also found my love for painting and my hatred for minimalistic aesthetics. I experimented with different writing styles and unique perspectives. After the lockdown, I would hang out with my friends and often feel like I didn’t really like the things that we would do. I became a more prominent voice in my friend group and was able to really voice my opinions and advice on certain aspects of our friendship. Being alone really helped me to find my voice and place in this world.

Experience loneliness to the fullest

Social anxiety will always and forever be apart of my life, but being alone most of the time really made it more manageable. I was basically forced to be in the world by myself after not being with people I love for a long time. Since being stuck in a house for 2 years and moving to a residential high school, I’ve really learned to value being isolated. Before the pandemic you would never catch me going out to dinner or shopping by myself. I was always with my friends or my sister. Now I find it very enjoyable to do these things alone. I always try new and strange things on the menu at restaurants. I’ve learned to love the silence of working in a library alone, not to mention the many people I’ve met there. I’ve also expanded the style in which I wear/buy clothes as I’m starting form my own aesthetic. I can finally say that I enjoy my own company when doing these things alone.

Know no bounds

Like I said before when hanging out with other people I’m kind of forced to ‘s accommodate to the people around me. Of course it’s important to be considerate, but it can get tiring at times. If we’re hungry, we all have to agree on a place to eat. If we want to have fun, we all have to agree on a place to go. I didn’t know I hated to that so much until I had to reconnect with other people. With being alone you can just about do anything you want. I really took that ideal and ran with it since coming here. I really enjoy seeing knew things and experiencing the weirdness of the world by myself. Though forming relationships with people is important, I strongly recommend that you make time for yourself. Being alone doesn’t have to be as depressing as it sounds.

Author: Jordan Brown

hiii my name is jordan or janae if you perfer I love all types of music except country my favorite writing form is poetry, specifically spoken word I write about nature and social issues. Support BIPOC Writers!!!

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