state of mind

bewilderment

heavy breathing

tears on an old pillowcase

 

I cry for you again

and again

always to no avail

 

you are the sun to my flowers

the moon to my stars

the day time shine in my eyes

the midnight bloom

 

I will never be over you

not completely

 

your strong hands will always hold a little piece of me

and mine will hold a piece of yours too

we both cut each other to pieces

 

but I think it’s okay

 

it’s okay for us both

to be making these irrational mistakes

crying to one another about them

we never learn

 

all I know is

when I lie in your arms

during a time when neither of us know what we want

know what we need

 

I still love you,

though I won’t say it

I let it cling to the back of my throat

as I know it is clinging to yours

 

you think to yourself, “maybe one day.”

and I whisper it back

in a small, small voice.