Game of Thrones

Quarantine has forced me to try many new things, including reading books that I thought were overrated, along with movies I never watched because I thought they were overrated, and finally, watching shows I never watched because- I bet you can guess why- I thought that they were overrated.

Which show have I avoided for many years because I thought it would be so horrible? Game of Thrones. At one point in time, everyone was talking about this show- and I mean everyone. I was the one percent of the population who had never seen a single episode.

I began the Game of Thrones journey by watching a completely different show, this one is called Disenchantment. I recommend disenchantment to anyone willing to try it; it’s super underrated. It’s an adult cartoon and it’s hilarious. It really makes fun of Game of Thrones and the middle ages time period in general.

I was watching that show one day and I thought to myself, “why not at least give it a shot.” so, I switched over to Amazon Prime Video and went to watching it.

This show is so unbelievable gruesome. Within the first thirty minutes I had watched two men ripped to pieces, and another beheaded for treason. I thought to myself, “What is wrong with our generation?” as I continued watching with no regrets.

There is a ridiculous amount of characters- it’s really hard to keep up at first but you get the hang of it. By the way, it’s very much so rated R so watch out, youngin’s.  I want to read the books one day but apparently there are even more characters in the book so I have no earthly idea how I would even begin to follow that. Then again, so many people die it might not be that hard.

George RR Martin, the author, truly spares no one. He has chewed my heart up, swallowed it, and threw it up in the gutter too many times to count. At the end of every season, someone you loved dies. No one is safe. I’m so serious, you think everything is grand then BOOM death.

Aside from that, there are some awesome female characters in the show. One being The Mother Of Dragons, who starts off being sold to a man as a wife and now has an army of ten thousand men she freed from slavery and three dragons and she cannot be burned. Fire does not hurt her. She’s awesome. There’s also a little girl called Arya Stark who I love with all of my heart and soul because she is a little warrior. She has been through so much and she is so strong and if she dies I swear I will go to Martin personally and ask him to please reconsider. I cannot handle that.

All in all, I was being stupid for not watching it. I was just scared of being basic, but I’ve come to the conclusion that good cinematography and story writing should always be appreciated, no matter how many people already like it, or how many don’t.

The Sookie Stackhouse Series

I have read five of the books in the series so far, there are thirteen. There is a TV series called True Blood that is based off of these books, but the books are very different. The author, Charlaine Harris, is actually from Mississippi and I wish I had heard about her before. I suppose she’s not as looked at as widely because she is a science fiction writer, however she’s an amazing story teller.

The books are about a twenty five year old woman who is a waitress who lives in Bon Temps, Louisiana ( a fictional town ) with her grandmother, and she can’t hold down a date because she’s a mind reader. I suppose that being a telepath can really hinder dating; I wouldn’t want to always hear what a man is thinking about me.

In the book, vampires are known by people and they actually exist. One night, a handsome guy comes into the bar and she immediately knows something is different about him because she can’t hear his thoughts.

As it turns out, because vampires are dead their brainwaves don’t work the same way. Sookie immediately finds peace within him and so begins the long story of Sookie being drawn into this dark and dangerous world.

She works for these creatures often to help them find out information from humans that they need to know. She discovers that they aren’t the only creatures that exist and ends up having so many different love interest that I almost can’t keep up. I don’t really know how to explain all of it cause it’s so much information..

I think the way it’s written is really entertaining  and I’ve been listening to it on audible so that’s fun. I’m sorry I’m not writing this amazingly right now, this quarantine has really drained me, but I’m trying my best. That’s why I’ve read so many of these books because it gives me something to focus on and breeds creativity for me.

I hope all of you are reading as much as you can and soaking in all different types of stories. Thank you for reading.

The Diary Of A Teenage Girl

   The Diary Of A Teenage Girl is in my top five favorite books of all time . Before I even begin, I would like to say that this read is painful. These pages are riddled with sadness and distress, confusion and recklessness, and an overall naivety so easily mistaken as maturity. Minnie Getz is a complex human being whose curiosities and experiences are reflected somewhere within the eyes of every young girl, and every grown woman who have grown from it. Though her experiences are strange and straining to read, I feel her in my own heart so greatly that I was unable to put the book down for even a moment.

   The writer of the novel’s name is Phoebe Glockener. The novel is composed of her actual diary and memories and interpretations she wrote along with them as an adult. I think she changes her own name in the book and the names of the characters for safety purposes, though she remains quite silent about her reasoning. It’s actually halfway a graphic novel; Minnie is an aspiring cartoonist who enjoys drawing disturbing images in her diary that depict situations she is going through, either literal or metaphorical. 

Minnie’s diary comes to life when she is fifteen years old. She explains that she has to write it all down because her life has “become very interesting as of late.” This roller coaster of a read begins by revealing that Minnie has lost her virginity to her mother’s boyfriend. What a way to begin a novel, right? Monroe is the name of this thirty five year old man. Minnie finds herself falling into a twisting world of secrets while surrounded by her alcoholic and drug ridden mother, a best friend with no depth or personality other than her beauty, a jealous stepfather who holds himself to be a better man than any other (though towards the end of the book it is revealed he has slept with Minnie’s cousin who is her age, making him no better of a man than Monroe), and rich kids she is surrounded by at a private school in San Francisco that Pascal (her step father) insists she and her sister attend. 

Set in the seventies, the book follows memories recorded by Minnie’s own hand of addiction, adventure, perverseness, and the depths the mind a fifteen year old girl can travel to. This book is dedicated to “All the girls when they have grown.” And I recommend them to bury their hearts into the secret life of Minnie Getz. 

Rockstars Are Just Babies In Leather Pants

The Dirt: a biographical novel written (majorly) by the members of one of the world’s most notorious rock bands: Mötley Crüe. 

Perhaps you’ve never heard of them, but I’m sure you’ve heard a song or two without realizing it. Maybe “Smokin’ In The Boys’ Room”, “Girls, Girls, Girls” , “Looks That Kill” or “Dr. Feelgood.” These songs have put people in a rock n’ roll attitude for decades now, and there was a time when the bandmates themselves eat, slept, and breathed rock. 

How would you describe a rocker?  A greasy dude with long hair, a guitar, and a bad attitude? You’re missing a few key aspects: mental illness, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, sex addictions, violence, and flat out immortality. For some that’s all apart of the image, but for Mötley Crüe, it’s a lifestyle. 

It’s difficult to know where to begin as I sit here, thinking of the surplus amount of life-sentence-worthy information. I’m not saying they were bad people, I’m just saying they were bad people. Does that make sense? I’ll shed some light. 

Nikki Sixx was tossed around like a rag doll for most of his life; one minute spent chasing the love of a selfish mother, the next spent with grandparents, all the while weaving a nearly unbreakable web of anger, abuse, and self destruction. Nikki didn’t know how to love for a long time, he’d never been taught how to. The only thing he knew was drugs and sex and music; the only consistencies that he’d ever known. As a result, he treated people horribly- betraying his friends and lovers and family. He was so messed up on heroin, he didn’t go to his own grandmothers funeral- the only woman who had shown him what a mother could be. He was violent, relentless, and a real jerk. He had to die, twice, before he turned his life around. Though, not much better can be said for the rest of them.  

Vince Neil is the lead singer. He broke so many hearts that one of them didn’t try to murder him. Honestly, Vince is really secretive about his background. He doesn’t say much about how he grew up or where he came from, he just picks up where the band starts. I don’t imagine he had a very healthy home life. He was really bitter as a young adult, and numb to any feeling of true affection for a woman. I wonder what happened to him when he was a child- what turned off those switches in his head. I guess that’s something he doesn’t want the world to know. What I do know about Vince is that he is so very dramatic (though they all are). He once got mad while backstage because someone had given him the wrong kind of mayonnaise; he angrily flung it against the wall, where it ricocheted back at him and sliced the top part of three of his fingers. He had to be air lifted to a specialist so that he could get his hand sewn back together before the show. Drama. Freaking. Queen. I will hand to him that he went through a lot of hard times; he was drunk driving one night, wrecked, and killed his friend. It was an accident, but he was arrested for manslaughter and spent about thirty days in jail. A regular person would have had to stay much longer, but money rules the world so I don’t expect any less. His band mates outcasted him, which isn’t fair because it could have easily been any of them. Nikki especially, considering how bad his heroin addiction was at that point.  

Tommy Lee is my favorite person in the whole world. He is the drummer and kind of an idiot. Or at least he was. No offense, but a lot of boys are idiots before they become men, so I don’t hold it against him. I figure he probably had the most stable family. His parents loved each other, they were somewhat financially stable, they encouraged him, showed him love. His fatal flaw, though, is his hopeless romance streak. He always has to be in love with someone, so I’m not sure if he can ever really tell when he’s actually feeling it or if he’s just making himself. I relate to him a lot because of his steady family and nice upbringing, but his choice to hang around people who others of his degree may not have. Tommy made horrible decisions, especially with Nikki involved. Tommy fed off of his energy, and became a chaotic burst of fire. I understand that because no matter where your born or who your born to or how you were raised, if you are born with a streak of recklessness, it’s going to come out, one way or another. Tommy was on and off with drug addiction; he’d get better, fall off, get better, fall off- he ruined his marriage, went to jail, and fell to the absolute bottom emotionally. He came back up, with the help of those who loved him. 

Finally, Mick Mars. Mick Mars deserves a lot more credit than he gets- he’s in constant pain because of a disease he has called ankylosing spondylitis. A definitive bone disease that effects all the ligaments and joints that allow the spine to move. Over the years, it hardens like cement, slowly pulling its victim to the ground. Mick stayed out of the trouble for the most part; he never got deep into drugs like the other members did. He was a quiet guy, kind of a push over, but he’s honestly the strongest guy in that band. No one talks about him much, and I think that’s unfair, because he’s literally one of the best guitarist to ever exist. Mick really did have a drinking problem- one caused by unfathomable physical pain and built up emotional turmoil. He made himself stop, and without all the help from therapist like the other members had. Do I think that’s healthy for his mental stability? No, of course not, but he’s a good bit older that the other guys, and grew up in a time where he was taught: “when it’s time to be a boy, be a boy. When it’s time to be a man, be a man.” 

These guys really went through the depths heck and came back to tell the story. All of them have children, and most are married or have been married. I hope their happier than they were. They are going on tour again this year, same members, same stories. I don’t think there’s much that’s cooler than that.  

The Dark Eye

There are things in this life that will shake you down to your core. As we grow, there is an expanding fear within us that can and will destroy us if we let it. This darkness, this blob of fright and doubt, is an emotion so simple we often over look it: anxiety.

Anxiety prevents me from doing so many things. It makes me not want to go certain places, or to college interviews, or even out to eat; it makes me not want to write certain things for fear of judgment. It’s a heavy burden that people avoid talking about.

For me, perhaps the burden is a little heavier for me. I was diagnosed with depression caused by panic when I was five years old. I’ve struggled since I was a kid to stay happy, to stay positive, to keep growing and going. It’s hard when the panic attack hits, it really is, and I won’t lie and say that there aren’t times I just want to lay in my bed and ignore the entire world.  I get so depressed because of how hard things are, how seemingly insignificant I am.

Sometimes I enter this state of mind where I think: I am on a tiny planet with millions of people, in a gigantic galaxy surrounded by even bigger galaxies and planets. I am but a speck in a very, very large painting. I forget that every drop of paint matters, ever stroke of the brush is necessary for the full picture. I’m sure there are readers out there who forget that too.

I do believe in a creator, in God. I believe that he has put me here for a purpose just as he has everyone else. It’s hard to believe that. It’s hard to hold on to that, and I don’t expect everyone to be able to. But for me, if I lose that faith I lose my morality and I fade away. I am so held back from everything because of the way my brain works and it’s exhausting. I have to have something to hold onto. My greatest advice for those out there is to find your anchor, because you’ll need it when the waves get rough.

I have learned something very important through the misery though. Existing isn’t living, no matter how bad I want it to be. I can’t just go through the motions. I have to push, I have to strive, I have to make myself be the person I’ve always wanted to be. We have been lied to. Dreams don’t happen while we are asleep, they happen while we are walking in the daytime, they happen in the midst of our worst nightmares. Misery can be creativity. It’s just a matter of how we look at it.

The Heroin Diaries

The Heroin Diaries. Pretty dark book title, huh? Well, he was a pretty dark man when he wrote them.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard of a little band called Motley Crue, but if you have, a book like this produced by one of the members wouldn’t surprise you. Motley Crue was one of the biggest bands of the 80’s, and they were most defiantly the wildest.

Motley Crue was the headliner for all things rock; the poster child, perhaps, of the common phrase of the time, “sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll.” They had the biggest parties, the most girls, and more money than they knew what to do with. Nikki Sixx, the bassist of the band and the author of this book spent it the only way he knew how: drugs.

The Heroin Diaries came out on shelves when I was five years old, obviously long before I knew anything about this man. Nikki Sixx had been clean for years by this time, but he had found the courage within himself to publish his most private journals from the darkest point in his life: when he was addicted to heroin.

One of my favorite quotes from Nikki about his addiction is: “Alcohol, acid, cocaine… they were just affairs. When I met heroin, it was true love.”

He had a horrible addiction; so bad, in fact, he got to where he was spending up to one thousand dollars a day on heroin. Sick, right? He thinks so, too.

It took over his life; his music, his relationships, his friends. Ruined him, really. His first diary entry begins with him bundled beneath a Christmas tree stark naked beside a bent spoon and a rifle. Alone.

I feel as if he has grown a lot since that day beneath the Christmas tree. He had to die twice before he decided to get clean (I’m absolutely not kidding- he died- on record twice.)  He’s clean, he has a beautiful wife and kids. I think he’s happy. I hope he is. God gave him a lot of chances.

I’ve recently written him a letter. I hope he gets it. He inspires me a lot, and I hope he stays clean and stays happy.

 

Vampire Academy

Before I even begin, I know you are thinking “Chloe, weren’t you reading the Gone series?” Why yes, I was, but I got bored and read a different book instead.

First of all, I absolutely despise this title. This is the stupidest title the author could have chosen. Seriously, it’s so awful and clingy it pains me to say it out loud. It sounds like a children’s book about vampires and it is NOT appropriate for children. The title could have been anything, ANYTHING, else and I would have preferred it.

Anyways, in great contrast to the title, I love this book. It’s so good. There is so much passion here, and so much love. I feel as if it displays such beautiful friendship. The main character, rose, is one of the few main characters I have adored entirely. She is this hardcore, determined teenage who will do anything to protect her friend Lisa. I also really enjoyed the authors views on vampires.

In this book there are living vampires, Moroi, who have control over the elements, and the dead vampires, Strigoi, who are cursed by the earth itself. Moroi are born, strigoi are made. Stigoi want to kill Moroi and so they need protectors. These protectors are called dhampires. Half human-half Moroi. They make great warriors, but can not reproduce together, kinda like mules. The only wya they can have children is if they have children with Moroi vampires. This means that if they don’t live, the dhampires die out too.

This is what causes them to want to protect the Moroi. If they die, so do they, so the protection of them is crucial. Strigoi want to kill Moroi, and they lurk in the shadows, waiting for their time to strike.

There is honestly so much going on in this book. So much is happening, so much foreshadowing and so many questions the reader begs to know the answer to. There is love and hate and war and violence and sweetness and super powers. It’s so cool and I enjoyed this book so much.

The way it ended made me. So. Mad. There is a love story in this book that is like forbidden because he isn’t older for her and they are both dhampires and guardians so that can’t be together. But you know , they really could. Come on. Guys, you know you won’t to.

That’s besides the point, but there was so many crazy up and down moments in this book and there are so many questions that have yet to be answered , and I cannot wait to read the next book. I’ve read reviews that it is even better than the first one. I know I promised I’d let you guys know what happened in the next book, and then I didn’t, but this time I think I May have some things to report on the next book: Frostbite

 

 

GONE- book one in GONE series

How do I even begin this blog? I’ve been reading this book for about a week and I finished it to day. I nearly fainted at the end over how good it was. I have this habit of reading unnaturally fast when the climax is happening, and this entire book is one giant climax. I couldn’t take my eyes off the page.

It begins with people disappearing (hence the title) and all that is left is kids the age fourteen and younger. There is a dome over their entire town, as if they had been shoved into an egg. They spend the entire novel trying to figure out why, but also while fighting other problems.

So as the story progresses, the reader begins to realize that there are mutations happening not only in animals but in humans. The reason for this is that they live next to a radioactivity research plant that fifteen years prior had blown up and radiation had seeped into the earth. The officials of the town had tried to cover up what had happened and never did a major clean up.

Anyways, these kids are left here. It is absolute chaos. No one knows where to go or what to do or who is in charge. Everyone begins to look towards the main character Sam for answers. He had been a part of the mutations, that at this point in the story no one knew about. He could control concentrated light so powerful it can burn holes through thick concrete.

Kids from the private school, Coates, begin to come down to Perido Beach. The explain to the kids there that they have begun to run out of food and think they should all work together. Caine is the leader of them all. At first all is well, until Caine takes over. He has the power to move matter. He has mastered his ability, unlike Sam, who can only use it when he is afraid.

Caine begins his all powerful reign. It isn’t until a young girl named Bette is killed by a bully that Caine commanded to beat people that Sam decides he needs to step up an do something.

Sam and his group of misfits leave Perido Beach while running from Caine and his goons. They meet a girl in the dessert  who has the ability to heal people with just the touch of her hands. She comes in handy after this encounter, however, she brings trouble with her. Coyotes have mutates and are after her. The Pack Leader has the ability to make words aloud, but I wouldn’t say he can talk. He can croak broken sentences. He says that the healer must teach him. The Darkness told him to.

The plot thickens after recieving word about “The Darkness.” who is that? Are they the reason they are here? I’m not sure because it isn’t answered in this first book.

Anyways, as it turns out Caine and Sam were twin brothers, which is why they are both so powerful. We still don’t know who their father is, but I imagine that will become a bif part of the story. Sam defeats Caine, but lets him live for SOME reason. They defeated the big “poof” which is what they call it when your fifteenth birthday occurs and you disappear. A person from your past appears to you and tries to take you away wilingly, but it turns out that it isn’t a person at all, but it is the darkness. The book ends with Caine seeking out the darkness. So, maybe after this next book I will figure it out and be able to let you guys know what that is

Jesus Of Suburbia

Jesus of Suburbia is a song I have listened to repetitively since about the seventh grade. I can sing every word, I know it forwards and backwards, but the symbolism in every line never seizes to amaze me.

The first line dives right into the heart of the story, “I’m the son of rage and love, the Jesus of suburbia.” I always loved this beginning. It’s a hook line that wraps you into the song. it progresses to talk about he is”the bible of none of the above on a steady diet of soda pop and Ritalin.” This line delves into the personality of the character from which he is writing.

In the music video, the main character is a punk, which fits perfectly to what the lyrics explain who he is. The character is supposed to show the face of teenage culture at the time. It was released in 2005, a time where pop and punk where the for runners of fame. This character is convinced he is fine, and that everyone else just doesn’t understand him. I picked this up from the lines, “and there is nothing wrong with me, this is how I’m supposed to be, in a land of make believe that don’t believe in me.”

This song is nearly ten minutes long, and is basically a collection of different songs that fit just right together. After the first “song,” if I may, the tune slows down to a more serious tone. some of my favorite lyrics are in this verse.

It begins with the line, “at the center of the earth in the parking lot of the 7-11 where I was taught, the motto was just a lie.” I love this line so much. it is saying that the main characters whole world is small town America. The center of the earth to him is this gas station where everyone goes to hang out. The song moves on to say, “it says home is where your heart is, but what a shame, because everyone’s heart doesn’t beat the same.” This line does really give meaning to the character’s emotion, but if I am honest, I just really adore that line and wanted to include it.

“I read the graffiti in the bathroom stall like the holy scripture of the shopping mall.” this just shows more of how stuck in this little place he is. This life, in other words, has become a religion. And, symbolically, he is the Jesus of suburbia.

He is a run of the mill punk. This is showing how some people in this time (and honestly now) truly felt at this young point. There is a line that really shows the attitude of the character, and it is repeated several times in a row, “I don’t care if you don’t- I don’t care if you don’t care”

Eventually, the character becomes fed up with the people he is surrounded by:

“Everyone’s so full of it
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave
We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the Middle East
We are the stories and disciples of
The Jesus of suburbia.”

These are amazing, to the point ways to show the attitude of teenagers at this point in time, especially punks in a suburban area. The song ends as the character is leaving his home. He is done with all the people  in his little town, and he wants to be free.

This was a really popular song at one point, and basically became an anthem for all the kids who felt this way. Though the character is a stereotype, the symbolism and poetic verses make this song beautiful

stream of unconscious poets

I turned fifteen eighteen years ago today. I forgot to call the cops about the horse that stood on my birthday cake. My sister burst a pinata with the tip of her nose and my brother pooped in a spoon and gave it to my dog to bury.

Next was the sack race. I ate popcorn and elephants prior and it didn’t sit in my stomach so well. I sack raced into the grand canyon but before I fell too far my mom caught me with her one arm that grew several feet longer than the other. My dog then dropped the spoon full of poop.

I rubbed myself down with sandpaper until I bled pink bubble gum. I taste tested it and sure enough it tasted like the whale I had swallowed whole only seconds before my tenth birthday. Under my tongue there’s a marble made from a cats puked up hairball.

My dog built my whole house the day he miraculously grew thumbs, which is a miracle, considering my family lived on the streets as jugglers. My dad ate my homework after he scooped up the guts that fell from my pinata. When I told my teacher she laughed and said “oh, happens all the time!!”

That year I wanted to be a pirate. I stole one from the sea and shoved him up my shirt. It was needed to protect him from the sand (he had a bad allergy)

I pulled a snail from behind my ear. He told me I really needed to bathe. I nodded and handed him to my dog to use as a shingle for the roof. Next day, I cried into a lamp post until the light bulbs kicked me and told me I cried too loud.

My sister never wanted to leave her home inside of a dead buffalo, however the swelling of the bloated skin and decay caused flies to claim the house for their own. She let them keep the couch.

I kissed a roach on the mouth and he told me I was much better at it than his wife. My dad told me it was time to throw away the guts he had scooped from the pinata; it was making the roaches eat the ants.

When the bees ate my dog I cried. The poor thing was horribly allergic, but married that stupid insect anyways. I stomped on her at his funeral. I pray the police don’t find me.

It was a very interesting birthday.


I know you are thinking

what

was

that

and that is good because that is exactly the point. For my last blog post, I wanted to try something very out of the ordinary. This is a prose piece. You are welcome to interpret it anyway you want, but to me I think it outlines the ridiculousness and randomness of life. The whole thing can seem to be a lie sometimes, but you have to face it anyways.