life in reverse

Death

There will come a day my body is laid opened

Drinking in harsh light in a barren room

with fifteen others that have no name

 

Cut up and stripped to cold skin

Against metal bedding

Smelling of fruity Clorox, Stale coffee

 

Grey eyes once brown glued shut

From fear of flying open

To meet the crowd of black sobs

with accusing screams

 

Mouth sewn shut

No way to speak about the liars

Pristine at the Oakwood podium

Reading scripts with a knowledge of past

readings

 

While I rest in a box of plastic

And thin cloth, wrapped tightly against the skin

Up to the forehead

 

Like a mummy, not getting to see

Who would walk up next to the stage

Old not forgotten 

I would see teens smoking their weight in weed

flashing credit cards, parent owned

playing adult, in drug stores

laughing at the sky

as if it has not been there for years

tapping cigarette ash on gravestones

marked with my name in bold

Grown ups scream too

Grownups scream too

when the light wont turn green

when the dogs pees on the new carpet

when the bill is due

when the work day wont hurry up

when they realize they have no life

grownups scream too

I should know

I’m screaming now

Teenage Angst or Sick Fascinations 

I was never one to dip into hysteria

when the world went flat and grayed at the edges

soaking my skin in despair

like a new perfume that everyone was wearing

in multiple coats

to thick to smell the fear they hid

is that why they filled their lungs with smoke

and carved their skin with knives

oh so pretty dripping from scarred skin

tears fell in pools at their feet

from strangers feeding off their sadness

Teddy bears and gummy knives 

I was a princess at the age of 3

but was dethroned at 4

when a new princess knocked me off the throne

so i threw a fit

and got hit

across the face for throwing knives in her crib

as she slept at the foot of their bed

What the hell is that!

if i knew the pain

i would feel

i would have stayed

in the womb