Is he enough to satiate my hunger for life?

I look at him

Our eyes meet

I look over him while we are out in public

Still debating

I have loved him for years

He was nineteen when we dated for the first time

I was sixteen

Both under pressure from supposed friends

I had no feeling for him the first year and a half

And 

All of a sudden 

I stopped thinking of my boyfriend as an imaginary guy who didn’t exist

And took notice of the one person who worshipped me like a goddess (literally).

A year and a half later

We’d decided to get closer as friends and wait to mature more

I’d wanted to wait until I’d graduated and because I have ambitions

I didn’t want to be tied down

He respects my wishes 

My sister is my idol

She was reluctant at first but after getting to know him loves him as a brother

Her disapproval was the main reason we broke up

Other than the friends sabotaging our relationship

I love him

I really do

But 

I spent years of my life hating everyone or having no emotions

How am I supposed to love him as deeply as he does me?

We’re both equally as broken

There are days when someone can say hi to us

and we sob for hours