chisme

they say you are what you eat

but what about what you drink?

I drank liter of juice

but I don’t feel anymore sweet

or fruity

like that candle you got me

because of my sexuality

thats only for men i tell you

you tell me that its half true

but only when its convenient

find a middle ground

or you can’t stick around

but i’m a fish out of water

and i don’t care if you want her

they say you are what you eat

but what about where you sleep?

on the top bunk of a bed

in a room where nothing is said

only heard

god i hope that was a bird

whoops

wrong room

in that room i sleep on the floor

and don’t do chores

i just sleep

and pretend to ignore

the knocks on the walls

and the thing they used to kill the lord

they say you are what you eat

but what about where you creep?

i’d rather put a bullet in my head

then have my parents say don’t let it happen again

it wasn’t my fault

i don’t care what they say

p l e a s e  l i l l y

die.

you’re the only man who has ever made me cry

i suppressed

and I folded

and folded

103 times

i looked at myself and realized i was dying

and suddenly every man was you

they say you are what you eat

but what about what you think?

i live with five people

and you live with two

we all share a bathroom

but you’ve never shared a day in your life, have you?

until you met me, that is

you share me with three people

and i share you with none

well, shared

loving you was like trying to own nice furniture in a house filled with cats

i will never tell you that

i’ve been told i don’t talk much

but no one really listens much

so i’ll just keep everything in here

playing my thoughts on repeat until i disappear.