So, if you ever plan on having kids, this is The best…. seven names that you should give to that rodent of a child. These names have been hand picked by me, and if I ever have a kid, I’m definitely naming it one of these seven. 

#7 – Beetlejuice

Easily in the top seven. I mean, Imagine your raising your kid, and you call his name. And your mind instantly thinks of Michael Keaton in the hit movie Beetlejuice. And any bully is going to think twice before calling him out three times. 

#6 – Hemlock 

I mean, being named after a Shakespearean poison has to be pretty cool.
It also rolls off the tongue easily. “Hemlock! Time for dinner!” Imagine, that. Pretty satisfying. 


 

#5 – Waxed Lightly Weathered Cut Copper Stairs

Come on, being named after Minecraft’s longest block has to be pretty impressive. And imagine calling out their entire name when their in trouble. 
“Waxed Lightly Weathered Cut Copper Stairs Jr, get your butt in here.” 
It’s a bit of a tongue twister. 

#4 – Ender Dragon

Another Minecraft reference, but who doesn’t like Minecraft? 
For short, you could call them ED. Also, this name kind of just strikes fear into the heart of your enemies. 

#3 – Willem Dafoe

Let’s be so for real. Who doesn’t want to be named after the green goblin.
Dafoe also sounds like a really good street name. Or nick name. 
“Hey, what’s up Dafoe.” 

#2 – Cooper Brumfield

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This name sounds familiar but I can’t place my finger on it. 
But this would be a good name. Especially if you add a middle name like, Wolowitz.  “Cooper Wolowitz Brumfield! you’re in trouble mister!”  
It strikes as a very Victorian name to me. 

#1 – Yellow Sharpie Marker

 

I don’t know, this name just rolls of the tongue. I think it’s a winner. 
I mean, how many times do you hear someone say, “I need a Yellow Sharpie Marker” Just like, offer your kid. Easy. 




Well, this has been a wonderful experience. If any of you have kids, and not one is named after one of these, I’ll be genuinely offended fr.