Things change. That’s the way life is. Sometimes change can affect us in ways we don’t expect. To some extent, this is what happened to me. I became obsessed with change. Specifically with my writing. I had grown tired of the way my writing was, and tired of the topics I was covering. I wanted to find a “simplicity” that I could use. After all, writing like you’ve lost your mind can very easily cause one to lose their mind.
More importantly, I had grown to have a better perception of who I was. All of my writing had become a cry for stability and identity. Well, that’s what I had thought at the time. What it really was, was a cry out of desperation. I had trapped myself in a cycle of sorts where I couldn’t give way to anything that I felt was meaningful.
This caused a dissonance between me and my writing. Affecting me to the extent that I had temporarily stopped writing altogether. Of course, that didn’t last long. I’m a writer, that’s the one thing that I can say with certainty.
I haven’t lost that dissonance quite yet, but I believe that that is a good thing. It has become much less of a dissonance between me and my writing, but simply between me and myself. It is a dissonance that I can use within my writing to improve my skills.
But regardless, I believe that over the next few months, I will be writing in search of “Serenity”.
