While 2020 was, in fact, a horrible year for the world, for me it was one of the best years. I have done more self-discovery this year than I have done any other year and have come closer to finding the person I truly am. I started with finding the person I wanted to be and noticing everything I didn’t like about myself and work on trying to change it. I wrote a blog earlier this year about self-change that I recommend you read, but this post is going to go more in detail about the changes I’ve made specifically, and hopefully what I say will help you guys make positive changes as well:’)
The changes I’ve made in myself– other than the way I dress– don’t include my physical appearance. Unfortunately, being self-conscious about our physical appearance is something everyone deals with– but we can’t change the way we look. I’ve struggled with the way I look since I can remember, and it wasn’t until this year that that changed. Sure, I still have my days, but for the most part, I’ve learned to let go of the negative perspective I made for myself on the way I look.
I remember one time in the 8th grade, I was crying about the way I looked. An adult found me and asked me why I was crying, and I explained that I hated the way I looked. I told her I felt like I was too skinny and didn’t have the body I wanted. She looked at me and frowned. “Aw baby”, she started, “you can just buy all that when you get older.”
I didn’t know how to feel about an adult offering me the advice of pretty much buying a new body. I have never been told to try and change the way I looked– I have always been told to just try and love the way I was made. And while changing the way I looked was a nice thought, I didn’t have thousands of dollars lying around and knew I wouldn’t any time soon. So, I did the next best option and just tried to love my body for what it was.
First of all– don’t surround yourself with others who put you down. I used to only hangout with friends that told me all the time the things about myself that I hated. “You’re too skinny” “You look anorexic” “You sound like a guy”… etc. Doesn’t matter if they’re “just saying it because it’s true,” you don’t need to hear it or have their negative opinion in your mind.
But the best advice I can offer you is to remember this: you are more than your physical appearance. This realization was really what lead me to self-love. I learned to stop caring about the way I looked when I learned to love who I was.
I live by the question, “are you who you want to be?” This was this question that made me realize I wanted to change. It was this question that helped me see that I wasn’t the person I wanted to be and I wanted to be someone I could love. I wanted to be someone I could be proud of. And so, with this question being asked, I worked to be the kind of person I wanted to be.
Well, what kind of person do I want to be? I asked. And all of these positive qualities that I want to gain came into my mind. I want to be a person people can trust. I want to be a positive person that helps others be the best person they can be. I want to be the kind of person I needed in the darkest times in my life. I have been trying to be the person I want to be for many months when I first asked myself that question and am proud of the progress I have made. I am only human, however, and I can’t seem to get it perfect at all times. But learning to accept the fact that you are human and you will make mistakes is the biggest step to forgiveness, which is essentially the foundation of positivity.
People are not perfect. People are going to mess up- make mistakes- but once you can look past their imperfections and love them because they are a person, you will find happiness through that love. Just like others, look past your imperfections and love yourself because you are a person. And everyone– every person– deserves love.
I relate so much to the body hatred, as a kid I was overweight, as I got older I was basically a rectangle, now I have some curves, but people are always gonna have something negative to say, someone will always not like the way you are, trying to except yourself can be hard but is the best course to pursue.