Last year I felt like the ground I was walking on was moving against me- making it impossible for me to move forward no matter how fast I was trying to walk. Something I wish I knew last year: the world is however you choose to see it.
Over quarantine, I’ve had a lot of time to self reflect with the time I was forced to spend with myself. I wanted my first blog post of the year to come from the new person I am because of this self reflection and how I got here.
Let me start off by saying that self reflection and change is never easy and it requires a lot of time. It’s one thing to realize things you don’t like about yourself, but it’s another to try and change those things based on the person you want to become.
I was able to realize things about myself that I never thought I could realize by looking in myself to try and find the root of emotions when I felt them. I used to have really bad anxiety because I cared so much on what people thought and wanted to please their standards. It took a lot to overcome this, but I did it by finding the person I was.
My favorite music artist, xxxtentaction, once said, “You’re not supposed to be alone and then start hating yourself– you’re supposed to to see things about yourself and change it. That’s what it is. You have to change it. and in order to reach that next level of happiness, you have to love yourself. You have to take time with yourself.”
I’ve always wanted to love myself, but that’s hard to do when you don’t know the person you are. So, that became my main goal in life– to find who I was. After a lot of soul searching, I found a lot of things I didn’t like about myself– such as how much I cared about insignificant things. I learned to let go of the things I held on to so tightly that . I learned to not care as much by finding peace in myself. I’m very proud of the progress I’ve made, because let me tell you, It wasn’t easy. I had to completely change my mindset and my view on the world.
I’ve realized that at the end of the day, all you are is a person. People are beautiful things. They have the compacity to empathize and feel. They have the ability to think. The mind is an amazing gift that makes up who you are. The best thing you can do for yourself is explore your mind. Explore what makes you you. Find who you want to be and strive to be that person. But most of all, don’t live off of someone else’s blueprint they have picked out for you. Meet YOUR standards, not theirs. It doesn’t matter what others think as long as you love how you think.
The symbolism of this title is the concept of finding what has been there all along. The path you are walking on may seem dull, but with a change of mind, you can find the beauty that lies beneath it. I encourage you all to look inside yourself and find who you are. You can not truly be happy until you find happiness inside yourself. It is hard, but so are all the best things in life.
Thank you for reading! I hope you got something out of this post and enjoyed reading it as I enjoyed writing it:)
