Clean Slate

I want nothing more
than to have nothing at all.
I want to live the rest of my life
having never known your name
or heard your voice
or understood just who you were to me.

I want nothing more
than to know that  You are a  not
pertinent part of my life.
I want to wake up in the mornings and feel
refreshed.
I don’t want to feel your presence over me any longer.

So, Ominous Presence Breathing Down My Neck 24/7, 
I relinquish you from my life.
You are no longer any concern to me
nor I to you.

I will allow you closure and
anything else you may need 
for your new life without me 
to feed upon, but I will not
continue to be the force
you indulge on.

Now, I hope you starve of the
satisfaction of draining me 
until I am a lifeless pile
on the floor.

I wanted nothing more
than nothing at all.
now, I finally have my
clean slate.

If I am going to be completely honest, I have no idea where this poem came from. I needed a blog post, so I started listening to Fleetwood Mac, Sonic Youth, and vaporwaved Abba and this is what came of it.

In the poem, I am referencing to my biological mother. I’m not going to display my entire life story on a blog in school, but she has always felt like a shadow in my life, always lurking in the back, watching. I’ve never really resented her, but I do resent that presence, so I “relinquished” and gave it away to whomever takes it. 

Author: Azya Lyons

“have i gone mad? im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.” -Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland aw skeet skeet View all posts by Azya Lyons