Randomness pt2

For last week’s blog I told a bunch of random non-fictional short stories. This week, I’ll be doing the same.

1. One time, my blind dog, Mai Tai, walked off a sidewalk. Now, you may be wondering, “How is that funny?” I’ll tell you. My mom was walking her on the sidewalk right next to the beach. If you’ve ever been to the beach in MS you’ll know that there’s anywhere from a 1ft-3ft drop from the sidewalk to the sand. Mai Tai walked off the sidewalk and face planted into the sand. For the rest of her life she refused to go on another walk.
2. I used to have a dog named Corona and she was so weird. One time she was sitting on my parents bed (their bed was like 2.5ft off the ground) and she was trying to lick her butt. She fell off the bed trying to lick her butt. She also used to go under the house and for some reason she could like put her snout in an air duct that led to the kitchen (I guess there was a hole) and you could hear her sniffing around. One time (I was 3 or 4) I was in the kitchen and she was under the house, I called out to her and she came to the air vent sniffing away. I shook pepper down the air vent. She started sneezing. This was after I put salt in my chocolate milk and drank it.
   1. My mom named her Corona because she was the same color as the beer. My mom is weird. My other dog, Mai Tai. Her name is an alcoholic drink.
3. I used to have a dog named Clouseau. That’s pronounced like clue so. Little side story, at this point in time we also had a dog named Coffee (he was the color of Coffee. My brother named him. What is up with these names??) and coffee would dig a lot of holes in the yard. To fix this problem, my dad set up an electric fence. The fence scared Coffee. The fence was scared of Clouseau. Clouseau would stand right up against the fence so it was shocking him. He did this all the time. He liked it. He was weird.
4. I used to have a dog named Clarence. Clarence was weird. One time I was chasing Clarence through the house and he was running so fast he literally ripped up a threshold board. Another time I heard a weird noise coming from the living room while I was in the kitchen. I walked into the living room. I found Clarence chewing on an electrical outlet.
5. I have a dog named Roo and she is an absolute a** ****. She’s so rude. She literally plots against you. I swear to god, one day she will take over the world. She will enslave the human race and probably also my brother’s dog. Well anyway, one time I let the dogs outside at around 3am. I had to watch the dogs to make sure they wouldn’t run away because there was a hole in the fence. Little side story, my dog likes to mess with bugs. Anyway, I saw Roo like batting and nipping at the ground and I was like, “there she goes eating bugs again.” Wrong. I then saw this small lump on the ground and thought to myself, “Ah frick, she’s trying to eat a frog.” (we had a LOT of frogs and she would chase them sometimes) I thn proceeded to go get her away from the from because I didn’t want her eating it and getting sick. As I get closer I see her launch this frog thats for whatever reason, tied to a string, across the yard. (she likes to throw things) As I’m watching this frog on a string fly through the air, I noticed a few things. 1. The frog was furry. 2. The frog was grey. 3. The “string” was a tail. 4. The frog was a rat. My dog launched a rat across the yard. She has done this multiple times.

Author: Georgia Bailey

I was born in Colorado and moved to Mississippi in 2008. I like reading pretty much every type of book except for romance. My family consists of me, my mom, my brother, my dog, and my brothers dog. View all posts by Georgia Bailey