If you missed part one of this, you should go read it! But the jist of this is that I write down days and times and thoughts I have then. I’ve gotten really bad at remembering to do it, or maybe I’m not just thinking of much that’s notable enough to write down. Either way here we go, enjoy.
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March 22
10:55 am
I smashed a bug on the carpet today. It looked so confused, reminded me of how my blind dog gets when she doesn’t where she is. I tried to get it to go the opposite direction, nudging it with my foot, but it wouldn’t. It flipped on its back occasionally, only to flip back over and scurry towards me. I smashed it. Stepped on it a few times before its exoskeleton caved in on itself. I’m not sure if I did it to put it out of its misery or if I just don’t like bugs.
March 25
8:09 pm
I wonder how much it would hurt to pull muscle from bone.
March 28
11:19 am
There’s an elderly lady in all blue with pineapple socks at this workshop that isn’t writing and looks half-dead.
April 12
1:12 pm
I want to write something pretty about tulips.
April 14
10:30 pm
I want to write but my words aren’t meshing together into one coherent thought or maybe I just don’t have good ideas or good words.
April 15
2:35 pm
People tell me that actions speak louder than words but what do I do? I’m a writer isn’t that the point of my existence?
April 27
7:07 pm
Even if they don’t know, I know.
April 30
9:04 am
I’ve never wanted more time until now, and suddenly it’s all I want.
May 4
6:59 pm
I saw Endgame today and all I could think about was how I got bangs.
May 5
5:59 pm
I think I want to throw myself into another self transformation. Maybe it’s because I’m trying to avoid feeling. Oh well.
May 6
8:03 am
I think when I love, it starts out as Pragma; a love driven by the head, not the heart. Then it morphs into something that isn’t quite mania, but also isn’t eros. I love too hard, but it makes me happy in the moment. Ew, this is cringey.
I love you Emerson.