Chains
Despair and hope
Virtue or vice
Joy or sadness
Depression and anxiety
Resilience over pain
Break out of your chains.
Yeah I know, short and sweet. Compared to others who were writing half pages I felt mine failed in comparison. There was no minimum word count, but I still felt it was too short. Often I feel I am in a place surrounded by talented people where I am plainly average. Everything from MSA to on the court. Even as I have been recognized as talented, when people outweigh you by so much even talented people can look very boring in comparison.
It’s not that I’m not accepted, I just don’t feel like I am as accepted as everyone else. I never feel completely like I belong anywhere. Of course, more here and on my current basketball team than I did at my old school.
One thing I’ve always longed for is acceptance. Something I never really had the chance to experience. Everywhere I went I was outcast– from a child in Sunday school being bullied to high school being the “weird kid” to being trashed on by lots of different people– they say these are the best years of your life, but honestly I don’t know if I can handle it getting any worse.
The place I feel like I belong with the most is my friends that I never get to see. I have met so many kind people on the internet, some that aren’t even from the same country. Most of them have drifted away. Losing online friends can be especially difficult when you have no real friends. My hometown is just so small and narrow minded I didn’t really find too many people who were compatible with me.
Thankfully, now, I have some good friends, like my friend Alex. Her family dynamic is much different than mine, but her family always makes me feel so accepted. I went with them and some of her other friends for Halloween one year. Although I did get a few weird looks because I was the only white person in the group and had a much more elaborate costume, I still had fun and didn’t feel left out. Last time I was home I got to see her, too. I mainly just sat in on them running errands, but it was still nice to be able to get out of the house. In fact, I still have a cut from a wire that was sticking out of their car’s chair gashed on my knee. A mark of friendship, if you will.
