The Girl Who Peaks in High School

If graduation never came, I’d be okay with that. I’d be over the moon, jumping for joy. 

I hear my friends, who are also seniors say things like, “I’m so ready to graduate,” or “I can’t wait to be in college,” but I can’t help but cringe at them. I have absolutely no desire to graduate or leave high school. 

I have spent the past 4 years in total bliss. I truly believe people when they say that these are the best years of your life because they have been. I’m not particularly “popular,” but I’ve always had a really great group of friends and people who support me. If my classmates were to describe me, they’d probably say something like, “Maleigh’s that weird, overexuberant girl that’s always planning events and making cheesy jokes,” and I am okay with that. I know who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it. 

I am ashamed, however, of being someone who peaks in high school, but I’m afraid it’s too late for that. I just simply can’t imagine that things can get any better than this amazing life. People say high school is overrated, but it’s my safe haven. In school, I excel. I may not be valedictorian or in the top 5 of my class, but I make good grades, I’m in a ton of extracurriculars, teachers love me. What’s not to love? Not to mention, I’m student body president which, I must add, was one of the best things to ever happen to me. I can’t express how much I truly love being a leader and getting to plan things and make things happen on campus. It’s one of the most rewarding feelings to serve the student body of MSA, and I don’t want to have to leave that behind. 

Yesterday, after writing that, I felt compelled to visit the counselor. I was really struggling, and I’m not usually one to ask for help, but it seemed like something I needed to do. 

After our visit, I left teary-eyed, but I also left with having told another human being how I was really feeling. Too often I swallow my emotions and force a smile no matter how I’m feeling, so it was a huge step for me to admit my shortcomings, or what I think are shortcomings, and be unashamed to say them out loud. 

In my house, you just don’t talk about these things. Everything must be kept private, concealed, but what if we did talk  more? What if we acknowledged that we are , in fact, riding the struggle, or have been for far too long. Because, at that point, we are taking the first step in taking care of ourselves.

Yesterday, I took the first step, and I talked to someone. I said, “Hey, I’m not okay,” and I was met with open arms and unicorn encouragement cards (Thanks, Mrs. Harlie). So, take that first step, and take care of yourselves. 

Now, I’m still not completely sold on the idea of this not being my peak, but I have moved closer to accepting that and reminding myself that this is only the beginning of greatness and that there is so much more to come for me. 

So, maybe I won’t be the girl who peaks in high school or maybe I will, but today, I am choosing to just be a writer, to just be me. 

Author: Maleigh Crespo

Maleigh is a senior literary and an iced coffee enthusiast. She enjoys writing nonfiction and poetry but hopes that her affliction for short fiction will one day subside. In her free time, she can be found scrolling through Pinterest or with her beloved cat, Manny. View all posts by Maleigh Crespo