“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”
Psalms 94: 19 NIV
This is the Bible verse I picked as my bio, mainly as a reminder to myself. It’s a reminder to say that, even if my nerves are a huge tangle, stuck in the darkest pits of my stomach, and my head is filled with crippling worries and fears, I can let the Holy Spirit take them away, and move forward.
This first week at MSA has been an exciting new adventure, but also a terrifying one. With new schedules, food, and people, it is very easy to allow yourself to become overwhelmed, which is where belief comes in. And whether you believe in spirits, higher beings, or just in yourself, everybody believes in something.
The thing about belief is that it seems very solid, something that will hold you up forever, when in reality it’s only as strong as your resolve. I say this not about the belief in a religion, but about the belief we have in ourselves.
The belief we have in ourselves could be connected to our self-esteem, courage, boldness, etc. and it can be very fragile.
Imagine the belief we have in ourselves is like a stained-glass window. The better you clean it, the better you can see the colors shine through it. But if you don’t clean it, you’re allowing dust, and dirt, and grime to hide the beautiful colors, and the glass can’t shine.
So now that you have that image in your head, change the stained-glass into your belief in yourself and when you clean it, when you polish it, that is when you are encouraging yourself, ignoring your anxiety and stepping out boldly, and when people are complimenting you and telling you how glorious you are, just to name a few examples.
But if you stop cleaning your stained-glass, that is when you start to feel like, maybe the people complimenting you didn’t mean it, or maybe I’m not good enough, or maybe I can’t do anything right. And sometimes these thoughts can last a really, really long time. And you feel stuck. You give up trying to clean your stained- glass window.
Let me tell you a not-so-secret-secret:
EVERYBODY CAN FEEL THIS WAY!!!!
All humans collectively struggle with this All The TIME!!!!
But because it is something that everyone struggles with, we all understand. and it can be very hard to start cleaning your window if you haven’t done it in a while. Plus, it will probably take more than one cleaning before you see any progress, depending on long your window has stayed dirty. That is when you hire a cleaner.
Now this cleaner, it could be a therapist, a counselor, a really, really good friend, But there is no shame in getting up to clean your window.
I will say it again: There Is No Shame In Getting Help Cleaning Your Window!!
So, surround yourself with supporters. With friends and family who will lift you up. Surround yourself, with people, who will help you clean your window, so you can shine for all to see.
Because You, are a Beautiful Stained-Glass Window.
Aw, this is such a lovely blog, Madison! I appreciated how philosophical and encouraging it was. I struggle with rattled nerves quite a bit and my first week was…interesting, to say the least, but it is important to believe in something, even if it is in sunsets and coffee. I love your metaphor of the stained glass window, and I found your Bible verse to be quite profound and relatable. It is definitely important to take care of yourself and seek help if necessary. I look forward to reading more from you, and I value your insight!
That was absolutely beautiful, Madison. It really touched my heart. I like the way you view this and am very excited to see what else you put out. 🙂