Courtship of The Mermaid

Recently I’ve been listening to the same song over and over again. its called “Courtship of the Mermaid.” In the song, the narrator is trying to win over a mermaid by throwing multiple pizza’s at her.

This song, for some reason, reminds me of myself. I would definitely throw an entire pizza at a mermaid if i got the chance. Also, I would love to have pizza thrown at me. Any free pizza is good pizza. Like, if you’re trying to win me over, get me an entire pizza. Pepperoni more specifically.

What kind of pizza do you think mermaids like? I can only think of seaweed pizza, but I’m not sure if that’s a thing. Mermaids probably would have never had pizza. or, not one like ours. they cant have tomatoes and cheese and bread underwater. what if they’re all lactose intolerant? we wouldn’t know. then their stomachs would hurt from all that cheese on the pizza.

Plus, youre not suppesed to swim after eating, so wouldnt we technically be paralyzing them for rougly 15 minutes? this would increase the number of mermaids captured and killed. we cant allow this to happen.

Are there other creatures we can throw pizzas at? Yes! Throwing a pizza at a werewolf that’s chasing you will temporarily stun them, giving you more time to run away. I’m sure you can make some gremlins day by throwing a pizza under a bridge. Fairies would never be hungry again if you gave them an entire pizza. you’d essentially have fed and saved a variety of woodland mythical creatures, making you a hero.

Can you imagine your gravestone saying “hero to all, bless our pizza savior,” because i totally can. for hundreds of years after that, people would leave pizza at your grave as a sign of respect. Towns would make statues of you holding a box of pizza. They would write books about you. The creatures would learn about you in school. Heck, you might even get an entire musical written about you. You would live on for decades just by ordering a couple of $5 hot and ready pizzas.

You just cant throw pizzas at mermaids

Author: Kerri Bland

Is it natural to wonder how people hear your electronic voice? We all have our own interpretations of literature, and what the narrators voice sounds like. To be of influence, i'd love for my electronic voice to be compared to that of a gremlin. When you read my posts, read them in the most gremlin-like voice possible. The kind of gremlin that lives under a bridge of a dried up lake, steals everything, and has a nice stash of marshmallows to roast at the earliest convenience. Do what you want with this information :) View all posts by Kerri Bland