So, following the ideology of just “Letting ideas come to me,” I started to get nervous about whether or not I was going to have something to write about this week. That was until yesterday when fourth period let out. So, for a bit of pretty crucial context, I think it would help a good bit to give everyone a little update on my life.
I really wanted to have something in my life that I carried over here when I started here, and for me at least, that was tennis. Throughout my life I never really enjoyed sports. It never really made me feel happy in the same way it did other people, but either way my parents wanted me to play a sport. Therefore, I ended up playing tennis, and I didn’t stop. So now I find myself at MSA with over thirteen years of tennis under my belt. So, I decided that I was going to play tennis for BHS, and the one rule when it comes to that is that I have to be a student there, which I guess is reasonable. However, this meant I was going to have to take a class at, which of course I wasn’t excited about. Though I am still figuring out why. Maybe it is because the trip there takes longer than I’d like, maybe it’s the school, maybe it’s the stares that I get when I am there. But that’s not what I want to talk about, what I want to talk about is a feeling that I forgot about. Walking out yesterday I found myself sitting alone, surrounded by people, unfortunately I mean that in more of the literal sense than the metaphorical sense. And while I was waiting it gave me an odd sense of Deja vu. I hadn’t realized how long it had been since I needed to wait for a ride to get home from school, almost 6 months but in that time, it had felt like years, and it also made me think about after that. Think about that after this I won’t ever feel that feeling again, that feeling where I wonder what my mom packed me for lunch or if we actually had a pep rally today. I always hated pep rallies, but the idea of never going to one again is odd. I guess that is how it is for a lot of things, even if you hate something it’s hard to wrap your head around the idea that you might not be able to do it anymore. Maybe, I’m selfish, maybe I wanted the option.
This is a feeling I have felt a lot, it’s kind of like not really wanting to go to a party but still getting upset that you didn’t get an invitation. But also, the feeling of never being able to do something again is a little scary I think it makes us realize how fast we’re actually “growing up”.
Thirteen years is wild! I played soccer for a while — it used to be my favorite thing EVER — so I understand the feeling of being connected to a sport. This blog described that feeling of nostalgia very well.
UEhfhgjkdfs, the last part about not being able to do something again haunts my brain sometimes. Moving on is frightening, but it’s unfortunately something that needs to be done. I really did enjoy this blog, though! The pictures you put with it are really interesting, too.
I really like the contrast of this post. In the beginning, you talked about trying to bring something to MSA, something familiar for a new environment. But near the end, you talked about a feeling of not being able to do what has become a monotonous routine. Pep rallies, what mom packed for lunch, and things like that. I’m glad that you found something familiar to bring with you.