Parenting & Children

Some people shouldn’t have kids. This may upset some people, but as I’m sure you know, I don’t care. Just as you’re entitled to your opinion, I’m entitled to mine. Disclaimer: I am talking about this objectively; there are obviously specific situations, etc.

Some people just were not meant to take care of other people, and that is okay. I feel like a lot of women go on to have kids because they feel like that’s what’s expected of them, and they don’t want to one day regret not having them. I think it’s better to regret it rather than bring a life into the world and be a terrible parent.

The inspiration behind this blog post is that I’ve seen a lot of people on TikTok debating whether people in poverty should have kids, whether people with severe disabilities should have kids, and whether people who have not healed from their own trauma should have kids. I’ll take this section by section.

Poverty:

I think that it is selfish to intentionally have a child, especially multiple children, when you are aware that you can’t afford to have one kid- let alone multiple. If you are struggling to take care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of a small human? I am aware that the cost of raising a kid has gone up significantly since the people who are reading this were children, but let’s not act like it wasn’t always expensive to take care of a kid. A prime example of this is the Jenkins Family on TikTok. I haven’t heard much about them recently, but they were popular on TikTok for their living situation. They have a family of seven. Seven. And they were living in a motel room after being evicted from a one-bedroom apartment. The mother, Stephanie, was doing her dishes in the tub while she was pregnant. She knew her situation and was continuing to have kids. I think that there is no other word to describe this than selfishness. Answer just this one question for me: say you want a kid, and you are living in a one-bedroom apartment, making minimum wage, and you can barely scrape by yourself; would you still have a kid? Personally, I would never want to bring a kid into the world who can’t have everything they need and more.

Severe Disabilities

Okay, I think this is a little selfish. My example for this portion is once again TikTok creators. Their names are Antwon and Deja. They suffer from Brittle Bone disease, leaving them both in wheelchairs. Their child suffers from the same disease as them. They both knew what their disease did to them, what they had to miss out on, and how they suffered, and they still had a kid. They said it was okay if their child had Brittle Bone disease because they had it. I just think that if they truly wanted a kid, they should have adopted. Which is still a little iffy, because if they both require a caretaker, how would they fully be able to take care of that child?

Trauma

Now, I don’t have a direct example for this. I just think that if you are aware that you have a lot of trauma and mental health issues that affect the way you act. It’s risky to have a kid, because your issues could affect that kid. Let’s say you have terrible depressive episodes and you aren’t able to do anything at all when you have those episodes. That child’s life doesn’t stop. They still need their father or their mother. That’s not to say never have a kid; just feel yourself first. Let me know what you think. Ci

Swimming: A Mac Miller Blog (Again)

Hi guys! As we ALL know, Sarah is OBSESSED with Mac Miller. Like obsessed. Since we have a longer word count, I decided to write something I love to talk about, so get ready for this yap session… (There’s nothing meaningful in this blog, it’s just lyrics and me glazing MM.) Mac Miller, if you don’t know, is an American rapper and producer. In 2018, he passed away from a mix of cocaine, fentanyl, and alcohol. When he was alive, he was SUCH a bright soul. His goal was always to spread positivity and love in dark times. He stood up for what he believed in, and honestly, I think without him, I wouldn’t be who I am today. 

I’m not going to go over every single song on his album Swimming, but I am going to leave you guys with a few quotes and song recommendations. My best friend, McCarley, told me a few days ago that “it takes trained ears to listen to Mac Miller, and mine aren’t trained.” I strongly disagree with her. I think no matter your favorite genre of music, or how trained your ears are, you will still like Mac.

In the first lyric of the first song of the album, Come Back to Earth, Mac sings “My regrets look just like text I shouldn’t send.” This is, unfortunately, a bar. He follows this by saying “I got neighbors, they’re more like strangers, we could be friends. I just need a way out of my head. I’ll do anything for a way out of my head.” What????? Like Mac…. you’re killing me. This immediately sets the whole tone for the song. I definitely recommend this one for anyone trying to get a vibe of who Mac is. 

Directly after this song comes Self Care. I won’t speak on the music video, but trust it is beautiful. There are two points of this song that really stick out to me. The lyric “Turn your power off and get your water from the spring.” What a beautiful lyric. A recurring theme in his music is him talking about how fame isn’t what he dreamed of at all. I will bring this back up soon. The other lyric of the song that stands out to me is “I been going through it, you just go around it. But it’s really not that different when you think about it. I’m always sayin’ I won’t change but I ain’t the same.” Dang Mac… I feel like sometimes he’s speaking directly to me. 

I’m going to skip a few songs on the album and talk about Small Worlds. This song became popular on tiktok a while back so most of everyone knows it, but I don’t think people talk about the lyrics enough. This might be a long one. “Nobody told me being rich was this lonely, oh well, hard to complain from this five star hotel.” OHHH MY GOOSHHH!!! And then read these bars: “No need for shame, I get more peace at slow speeds. Go beat the game, young control freak… don’t wanna grow old so I smoke just in case.” okay okay, one more quote from this song and then I’m forcing myself to move on. “Ooh, I’ve been a fool but it’s cool that’s what human beings do; keep your eyes to the sky, never glued to your shoes. Guess there was a time when my mind was consumed, but the sun’s coming out now, the clouds start to move.” 

Okay the last song on the album I want to quote is 2009. “And she don’t cry no more. She tells me that I get her high cause a angel supposed to fly.” WHHHHAAAAT! Literally Shakespeare’s brother. “You gotta jump in to swim. My life was dim in this life of sin. Now everyday I wake up and breathe. I don’t have it all but that’s alright with me.” Hellooooo? “Sometimes I wish I took a simpler route, instead of having demons that’s as big as my house.” Genuinely, what do you mean?

This blog is actually just me fan girling so I’m cutting myself off… I’ll see yall next week with hopefully a more… meaningful blog! Bye!

Could emotions be a side effect of humanity?

Could emotions be a side effect of humanity?  

I know it sounds kind of dumb. But hear me out. Psychopaths have the ability to feel basic emotions most likely. I wonder if because they are so detached from their humanity it won’t allow them to experience emotions complex enough for their “character” to undergo change.  

I’m not saying you must be a psychopath to experience not having complex emotions though. I think people who go through severe trauma or have an event that pushes them to become void of the ability to think humanely. I wonder if there’s a psychologist that thought about this though, I’m kind of too lazy to go research myself.  

I think my favorite part of this theory is that it’s such an interesting concept. I wonder if it’s like running into a burning building to save someone would going in the building if your actions/ thoughts are emotions based or would you stay outside safely? How do they determine if something is sad? Do they feel God? Do they have the ability to truly hate someone? Could they ever change? 

I wonder if not having emotions could cause someone to lose faith? God invokes the spirit and moves the heart but what if someone can’t use that heart? What if there is no way for that person to feel God?  would sin even be sin? Obviously, they could know right from wrong, but what determines rights from wrong? How that specific outcome is likely to make someone, or something feel right? 

I wonder if it causes them to fade from existence in a way. Humans yearn and search for someone to make them un-lonely. That’s why we have friends, right? Do people void of emotions feel that need? Do they feel the need to be around someone? Could they make that choice to put someone’s life over theirs if they are in that position? 

I wonder if they have the ability to hate? Could they genuinely hate someone, it seems like they would not be able to. They’d probably find themselves rationalizing actions from others that they didn’t like or actions that harmed them. Maybe they could try to copy those human bases traits, but will they be there or is it like watching a movie paly out from behind your eyes? You always son stage performing for Somone. 

What is normal for them? Is having emotions normal? Or would it not be? Do they think emotions limit the capablties of other people? If the president was void of emotions, what would he do? He can’t feel that love for humanity so why not tear it all down?  

These are questions I had while I wrote this because it genuinely baffles me! I feel like many people would love to not have emotions, but they kind of come pre-installed. From the moment most of us are born were treated with love and compassion, yet it’s probably harder to reciprocate that feeling because your brain won’t let you. 

Conscious enough to not feel. 

I lay begging God, Surrendering my life to him. 

 I Cannot feel. 

I cannot cry anymore  

I cannot be angry  

I cannot love 

I cannot be normal. 

 

I think being conscious is a curse. 

 

Jesus gave sight to a blind man. 

Is it bad I want him to take mines? 

Not my eyes. Just the seeing part. 

 

I think every thought, I read every line, 

 I play every part and none at the same time. 

Yet I find myself fading. 

 

I am my own punishment.  

I am my own sin. 

Constantly grasping at normalcy as if I could hold it. 

 

A revolving door of thoughts. 

 

In. 

Out. 

In. 

Out. 

 

I am the tree bearing forbidden fruit.  

Knowledge growing rotten in my head. 

 

I wonder if he made whole me sometimes. 

Maybe the clay had gone bad. 

Maybe the soil was already lost to sin. 

 

Good truly cannot exist without its darker reflection.  

 

I find myself trapped in flesh. 

 stapled and taped with the curse of knowing. 

Knowing what I say.  

Knowing what I do.  

Knowing what I could have done differently. 

 

I wonder if I hurt so those around me shall not. 

 

I am jealous of those blissfully unaware. 

 

Those who can feel, cry, love, hate, be normal. 

 

I wish so badly to blame him for my pain  

Yet I only find the mirror igniting rage. 

Not because I am ugly. 

because I know myself. 

 

I am man. 

 

Image result for emotionless

I don’t have a problem I’m not addicted I can quit whenever I want

We all have class with little old danny. Little Danny boy. I sit in the far back corner, but I know anyone who’s come to speak to me or even turned around has seen my phone sitting against my laptop. I write a little bit and hit two or three buttons, then get back to it. Though nobody cares, I will pretend they do, and for those of you who have wondered “what is danny doing back there? Our lovely literary rep, who represents our entire discipline?”

IM playing cookie run kingdom.

To clarify I do pay attention to my work. Gonna defend myself a little. I hit three buttons to get through levels I don’t have the mental bandwidth to sit through in my freetime, because I might as well do something fun to even out the boring (progressing in levels being boring, my work being fun). There was a picture shared in a group chat of parker and if you zoom wayyyyy in the back there is the victory screen for the strawberry cake tower in cookie run kingdom, from when I progressed past lvl 100. I love this game so much and play it constantly. It is actually sitting on my desk RIGHT NOW. I would explain the entire lore of cookie run, both the game and just kingdom lore (theres a lot), however I DON’T WANT TO!!!! So I’m going to talk about my favorite cookies only.

Going through the entire list of cookie run characters, or only the ones we see in kingdom (danny does NOT care about ovenbreak, ovensmash, or tower or wtv I DON’T CAREEE) is pretty difficult. There are just so many good cookies and so many reasons why I like the ones I do, so I’ve narrowed it down to a list of my favorite cookies from each category. I also want to talk briefly about the newest update, which I am SO EXCITED FOR!!!

My favorite Ancient may take the title of my favorite cookie, White Lily cookie!!!

White Lily cookie is one of the five ancients, and her soul jam represents freedom. She is obsessed with the idea that cookies “crumble” (die) and is searching for a way to extend their lives, because if you’re alive forever then you can do what you want (bad ideology, btw, don’t do this). In her search for immortality she goes straight to the source of cookies, the witches, who the cookies revere as gods. She finds out here that cookies were created to be eaten shortly before falling into a bowl of dough, where she transforms into a new being, Dark Enchantress Cookie. All you need to know is that she’s evil fr. The goodness of white lily cookie’s soul jam later became another version of herself, basically a round of reincarnation, which is why her and dark enchantress are separate.

White Lily’s story is one of my favorites, and her awakened design is my favorite change of ALL of the cookies. My favorite beast is also closely linked with her, Silent Salt!

I actually don’t know much about Silent Salt cookie’s lore, but I know he’s the beast of Silence. Basically beasts were a thing before the ancients, holding the same soul jam as them, but for whatever reason they were corrupted and turned evil. I just haven’t gotten far enough in the story to find out why he turned evil. However!!!! I do know from playing through later episodes that Silent Salt does betray the rest of the beasts, who are trying to destroy the world btw, and sacrfices himself (?) to do so. I dunno. It was a very short snippet of a cutscene and im SO confused. He also has my two favorite costumes ever!!!!! I’m really excited to see where they take his story, especially with where they’re taking the third round of adventures in crispia.

For the next grouping, I do have to say that black pearl cookie is my favorite.

this is black pearl cookie in her costume sovereign abyss, her only good costume (imo). Her lore is pretty iffy for me, as I skipped through most of the story parts, but my current understanding is that she USED to be just pearl cookie, a mermaid who was captured and kept on a ship by pirates. The black pearl was a real pirate ship btw. She just happened to have a lot of her friends injured in trying to rescue her and so she began sinking ships, which everyone else hated, and so she was just realily isolated and a little traumatized, which let to her transformation into black pearl cookie. She is a legendary cookie, making her one of the sort of “elementals” or “pillars”. They are also being revamped with thses past few updates!!

Though this means nothing to you, the newest cookie run update introduces a NEW BEAST!!!! Which is a separate version of an existing beast, my second favorite, Burning Spice cookie. This is a version of him from an alternate timeline, where he blames mortality as the source of the worlds problems… like…. Like white lily….. like…… im SOOOO excited to play his episodes and find out more. Nobodys ready.

As of right now, I’ve logged over 255 hours on cookie run within a year, and if you also consider that I took a 2 month, then a 4 month, then a 3 month break at some point…. Yeah. That’s a lot of time I’ve spent on this game. And I have been playing every day. I really would love to deep dive on the cookie run lore, but that would mean that I have to rewatch everything, which is possible to do in the app!!!! But also that’s over ten hours of content. Just for the first story mode. That’s over ten hours. There are three story modes now.

I’m gonna do it.

First poem

Welcome back to Jaleigha blog. Yes, your girl is a senior now. So, my first blog will be about my first poem I wrote here.

 

Soul Ties

When people say they are feeling blue,

You wonder if it is love.

Sometimes you can love too hard you won’t know what to do

You can love so hard that you would get lost.

It hurt like hell and hit bad in the heart.

Love will make you see so much red!

No matter how much you forgive, you will still see red.

Holding your breath while your face turns blue.

Trying to get yourself and your heart right

Wanting to give him another chance to love,

But no matter what u try he will make you lost.

Looking once aging at your stitches.

You hate yourself for letting him give you stitches.

your eyes burn with tears of red.

 you don’t need or want to be lost!

you want to find someone who can love,

Not someone who makes you feel blue.

Someone who knows how to treat your heart.

He’ll have you thinking you have a bad heart.

When your heart becomes bad because of the stitches in your heart

just because you could love.

Sometimes you let the red you see become red red!

Just like the love for him, or is it love? 

You don’t see that in him, you still see lost.

You are done with the feeling of lost.

No more pain in your heart,

You’re tired of feeling blue!

It’s your turn to give his heart stitches.

You want to use your red.

He doesn’t need your love.

Show yourself the love.

You were hurt and lost.

He’s gone, so is the red.

Heal your heart.

Remove all your pain with the stitches.

Now you have the happy feeling of blue.

You are free of all the stitches. You have your sweetheart.

Soul Ties is something I wrote based on something new I was learning new. It was talking about love and how it can make you feel. I loved how I wrote this poem. It was one of my best low-key ones. I think this year will be me wrestling things I never thought of writing. So far, it’s been my writing things dealing with ghosts. 

If y’all have any type of ides that I could do, y’all should really let me know so i can try to write it. I would say it’s a little hard to come up with something to write when you’re so used to writing about love or different things dealing with the right path. But I can say I do like a big challenge so it’s not so bad.

What Makes a Human?

It’s 2026. We’re in a class full of writers. Us seniors are in senior seminar. We all took that job quiz telling us how much ai is going to impact our jobs. Looking at writers, it’s a very threatening line to look at. While ai writing isn’t very good, it’s still intimidating that our passion is constantly threatened by artificial intelligence. 

Now it’s 2018. It’s my ninth birthday, and my grandfather just died a month prior. At his funeral I got to speak, and I remember having to pause before speaking to angle the microphone down towards myself. The church filled with laughter, and I think that my grandfather would’ve loved that even at his funeral people were able to find something to laugh about. Anyway, it’s my ninth birthday and my brother’s fifteenth. As a present to the both of us, we got a Playstation 4 for the two of us to share. Currently, that Playstation sits in my dorm next to a monitor that I need a speaker for. I promise this is relevant.

The ps4 that my parents purchased came with a few games on disc. Must’ve been some deal they were running. While me and my brother both played around with the Star Wars game that came with it, there was another game that started to collect a little dust. That game was Detroit Become Human. 

If you have never heard of this game, I will gladly gladly GLADLY tell you all about it. As the name suggests, the game takes place in Detroit Michigan. It’s set surprisingly close to present day, the year in game being 2038. The contents in game seem impossible to set in place in reality because the androids would already be in early stages right now, but with the current state of technological advancement and the push of AI I wouldn’t be surprised to see a prototype similar to the Cyberlife androids in the near future. 

The way the game works is you play three characters all in a story where they intersect at small sections. You make the decisions for them, leading to many many many different ending and possibilities. You don’t really get to choose who you play next. The whole game is kinda like a tv show where you have to decide where the plot goes and also sometimes shoot someone at the exact right time. If you don’t shoot at the right time, that character just dies and doesn’t come back. Except for Connor. That chud. Look, I’ve been playing this game since I was nine years old and I’ve played it at LEAST twice a year (three times in one weekend this summer) and I still am nowhere near getting all of the endings. Maybe that’s a failure on my part, but I’m a sucker for accidentally playing the same route over and over again. 

My favorite storyline is Markus’ (the bald dude). The base story is an android that cared for an old man gets thrown away and starts a revolution for android rights. I should say now that the whole story is an allegory for racial movements against injustice. It kinda falls short a little though because it’s a bit base level, but I think it’s good if you’re a nine year old just starting to actually understand  these concepts. With Markus you can choose to be neutral (stupid decision, nothing cool happens), pacifistic (really cool), or violent (also really cool). Your actions as Markus affect society like crazy so if you’re trying to be like a chill Kara and Connor do NOT like kill everyone and threaten the president. Will not go well. At all. 

I also really reallly realllllyyy like Kara. I do have a little bit of an issue with her character being boiled down to a mother, but also it’s really freaking beautiful that she’d sacrifice herself the way she does so many times in game. She just wants to care for her baby and would literally let a polar bear out of a cage to do that???? Peak I say. PEAK! Also, her relationships with the characters she meets are sosooooso awesome. Her guard is rarely ever down (especially if you play the “I hate Alice and she hates me” route, but there’s so many things that are like mandatory for every story that make her like you) so the moments she can breathe with Alice (her daughter) and Luther (her kinda mutual protection partner). Even if Kara is a little nothing burger, she’s like the whole reason we have the game so SAY THANK YOU. The short that started the whole game is sooo cool to look back on.

I guess I should also talk about Connor. The fan favorite. The pretty boy. He’s an assistant detective for the Detroit police. The main endings you can get with Connor are “he joins the resistance (yay)” and “I’m evil I killed Hank (noo).” My favorite way to play Conner personally is the “Connor sucks at his job and can’t do anything right” route where you die at any opportunity possible and lose all leads. There’s a lot of fans that treat Connor as the main character because like he’s got the biggest opportunity for change and like he’s the demo character blah blah blah MARKUS IS THE MAIN CHARACTER YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Don’t mind that. Anyway. What I think the game is missing are androids that don’t want to unionize. That’s like all they’re missing because SOME people in groups are NOT the most aware. Like Connor’s the only one that does that. Like it makes sense why he doesn’t immediately because he IS a cop betraying his own people, but like what about a dude that just really really likes handing over paint. I wish there was some main story interaction where Markus converts someone and then is really confused when they don’t follow him. “I have it good here!” “They’re gonna put you in a trash compactor???” That’s one of my biggest issues I am biased though.

The creators do sadly make their female characters one note. Markus gets to Jericho where all androids are free where there’s ONE lady to go out on missions with? She’s one of the sex androids and escaped because she was being sexually abused there? Great! Put her in a relationship with Markus!! Like I think they were going for North finding solace in Markus and no longer being afraid of close relationships with men. But like. They did it so poorly and, with the way most routes go, it’s such an undeserved ending for her character. At least they covered abuse and like how sex work would change. That was really interesting to see. Kinda radicalized me at a young age lowkey.

WOAH MAMA!!!! Even with the new word limit I went over…. Whoopsie! Well, I guess I have to cut myself off. Next month I’ll relate this post back to AI and talk about the dreams we had for something that ended up being so dire. Well, that’s enough for now. ByeBye!!

Defense Attorneys VS Ignorance

Hello everyone, it’s a new year, and I’m back, ready to offer more of my thoughts. And, as a disclaimer, unless I state otherwise, this post is made up of my personal opinions. If you have an issue with that, move on to the next blog.

As most people who know me are aware, I’m going into pre-law. And as the title suggests, this blog is about defense attorneys. It’s common knowledge that the vast majority are not big fans of lawyers, specifically defense attorneys. You always hear the same tired statements.

“Oh, you’re defending bad people.”

“What if your client is guilty?”

“You’re helping criminals walk free.”

To the people who think that way, it’s a good thing that you’re not a lawyer. In my opinion, if you cannot separate your personal feelings from your job, this career, and most others, are not for you.

 It’s not about whether the client committed the crime; it’s about their rights as a human being. It’s about proportionate sentencing. If a man steals from a grocery store, does that mean he needs to do 15 to twenty years?

Justice goes both ways.

Not every defendant is Jeffrey Dahmer, or Ted Bundy, or whatever other evil criminal you want to list. Do you think that every defendant is a rapist, or a murderer, or a thief? Do you think that every person convicted of a crime is guilty?

This is not an opinion: It is estimated that between 6% and 15.4% of people are wrongfully convicted in the United States. That means, out of 2.3 incarcerated Americans, 138,000-354,200 are wrongly imprisoned.

The rate of wrongful conviction in capital cases is 4%. A rate of 4% is too high when lives are on the line.

Yes, criminal defense lawyers do represent egregious people as well; however, being egregious does not dismantle the Sixth Amendment.

In case you’ve forgotten, the Sixth Amendment, under Article III of the American Constitution, states: “In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.”

Now, back to my opinion, to call defense lawyers bad people for defending the accused reads as a lack of intelligence. As said, this is my opinion. Don’t get offended; a hit dog hollers.

I hope that you enjoyed reading my blog; I would much prefer it if you learnedsomething; both would be lovely, though. Below I have cited my sources for this blog, and I will see you next time.

Ciao!

Cited Sources:

Sixth Amendment. (n.d.). National Constitution Center – constitutioncenter.org. https://constitutioncenter.org/the-constitution/amendments/amendment-vi

What is the false conviction rate in the US? (n.d.). https://legalknowledgebase.com/what-is-the-false-conviction-rate-in-the-us

Summer, revelations, reminders.

Hi blog! It’s been a few months since my last one of these, and a lot has changed! I have evolved, not only as a writer, but also as a person. I think for my first blog of the year I’m just simply going to talk about what’s new.

I have found that I love Minions! Papoi! I know that last year I liked them and I would call my friendgroup the Babois because of how much I liked them, but now it’s different. I REALLY love the Minions. If I had one wish ever it would be to be friends with a Minion. I love them. They are so silly and just have no worries at all and I love that for them. Also apparently they are immortal? This is a common discussion between me and my girlfriend. 

I have gotten really into watching really bad films on Tubi. Like lots of bad films on Tubi. I would make a list of my favorites, but I don’t know how… appropriate that would be; however, I will leave you with this: if you scroll through Tubi for too long, you will find some interesting things. I usually end up watching these with Alex during English IV when we have nothing to do. 

I have expanded my music taste! I have been listening to a lot more The Weeknd (thanks to David Walker), Mars Argo, Nirvana, Cherry Pick, and more. I have tried to stop limiting myself to certain genres or vibes of music when I have a crisis. Going back to the Tubi movie obsession, these movies also have great sound tracks, so that’s always fun! 

I have begun to look at more art. Mostly classical pieces. Right now I’m studying Van Gogh, next will probably be Renoir. I used to wonder why people stood in front of art for like hours at museums, but I’m starting to see why. What I like about Van Gogh is that his art style is very streaky. You can tell its art made by a paintbrush while still seeing that it’s realism. I don’t know if that’s stupid or like confusing, but yeah. 

Now I’m going to transition over to what I did during the summer! I attended the McMullins Writing camp, where I roomed with Lela and made so many friends. I found out that I am very much a fall/winter person. (The heat KILLED me.) I spent many days with my best friend McCarley. (We practically lived with each other all summer.) I got accepted into Itawamaba Community College, though I’m not completely sure that’s where I want to go. It is the most convenient option. 

For my future, I now want to do college online and study to be a creative writing teacher. I want to live with my best friend and girlfriend. I want to own a dog and a lizard. I also want to be a published poet who participates in workshops and festivals. For now, I want to work at a small business or a record and book store. I think that would suit my personality and just sound cool to tell people. 

I don’t want to keep you reading for soooo long about me me me, so here’s a few questions about you! –

  1. How was your summer?
  2. Did you learn anything new about yourself?
  3. What do you think your future holds?

Lastly, I just wanted to remind you guys that no matter how stressful this senior year may be, I’m always here to talk or listen! I know that this year is the one that we all have been looking forward to since we were kids, so I just hope we can all make it a good one, in harmony, together. 

Okay, this concludes my first blog of senior year. I love you guys, thanks for reading. Talk soon! 

first Senior blog and a multiverse of questions!

HI my name is Kemarrion is Galmore! and this is my first senior blog! I don’t want to be serious because I’m not a serious person

I think it’s somewhat honorary I start this off with some poetry, I mean poetry is like my signature at this point. It has grown into all my writing, speech and life. Poetry is question put in a rhythmic style to convey one’s feelings or external observations. And I think I’m full of questions. I think we should all ask questions about everything, if we don’t then how can we be human? Is our sole purpose not discovery and advancement. If we don’t then are not any better than the same animals, we slaughter and consume? If we can’t be conscious enough to ask questions about the life, how could we ever actually live it?

I am nothing. I am everything.

I am hungry and full.

The yin and yang of complenetion.

I am quiet. I am loud. I am angry. I am sad.

I am symmetry. And unevenness.

I am a god. I am human.

I’m here but gone.

I am constantly dying but immortal.

I’m on earth but in the clouds.

I am life, but somehow I hold deaths hands for his first day at preschool.

I recently began to ponder what life currently looks like and what life could be. I like to make sense of my life by comparing it to things I’m familiar with like movies or shows. If I were to compare my life to a movie I would use “everything everywhere all at once”. The movie means so much to me, and I think everyone trashes it because of the “sci-fi” aspect of it. How can one ever learn and grow if one isn’t open to new things though?

The movie is about the multiverse the same worlds existing in different universes and times. The worlds aren’t always the same, it’s like making a copy of a copy of a copy and so on. It’s eventually bound to be different someway or somehow and I think that’s the beauty of it. The symbolism of seeing the same thing, but different perspectives were played on a lot in this movie. I think due to the multiverse being introduced as a everything bagel literally! It allowed for interesting plot with many themes and literary devices to be depicted in the film. I like the idea of there being multiverses, but only because it leaves endless possibilities. It gives hope in a strange way. Like for instance if I was sad now and giving up on everything somewhere a different version of me is somewhere frolicking and jumping through fields of flowers happy and excited for his future. I was first introduced to this concept by marvel it was strange attempting to wrap my head around there being different versions of myself maybe one with 3 eyes or one with a rap career dating Beyonce or something.

I think everything everywhere all at once was also used as a show of representation of bi-polar disorder I mean the main character is forced to experience lots of multiverses all at once to affect the world in a certain way leading to the eventual collapse of her mental state. She experienced all those emotions at the same time merging all her consciousness across multiple universes having to be so many people at once. Throughout the movie she was unable to control her body to the point she was glitching into different personas who was she really? The angry young woman set on revenge? The depressed lab rat too timid to act? The constantly monitored young woman now entering adulthood?

I think I relate to this movie especially now. The whole concept is that emotions are whole worlds and can crumble/be born at any moment in your life. I think in a way the universes are holding every single version of the worlds aka our emotions. It’s strange to think about it not going to lie. I was upset one day scrolling through my phone just bored and stuck on that one universe angry. Looking through my phone, I found myself smiling, happy in another universe without a care in the world blissfully unaware of the unconsented transportation form that universe and I wondered how I got there? Do I break this whole world built on my anger to get back to that one? Did the anger even matter if I could be someone else entirely? Would I be trading places with a different version of myself leaving them trapped crawling at the edge of that world to take back their place?  If I were happy would the reason I be mad even matter anymore? There are so many questions and there are probably answerers for each one but were the questions even meant to exist? If so, why do they? What do you do when you spend so much time stuck in one universe you’re out of questions?

Senior year is here and I often find myself asking questions and all the while slipping into other universes every day. I kind of consider myself an astronaut at this point. (tell Nasa call me). I think every time I slip into these universes; I discover new things about myself though. I think sometimes I even feel those universes colliding with the previous ones. I wonder if that’s what life is are we all just aliens or passengers rather; hitchhiking in the minds of people we could’ve been if something would’ve gone slightly different?

I have told you what I think this entire time. What do you think? What world is holding you captive at this moment? What planets have merged to form the person we see today? what worlds have you explored and lost/?

do you think we are all multiverses of emotions?

what world do you want to be explored/ have your senior year ?

What questions do you wake up itching to know?

If you have no questions, do you think you are truly living life?

My Best Friend moved to Germany.

I knew it would happen for probably a year in advance. She would talk about it, I would listen, and I guess I just turned my ears off to the fact that this wasn’t make-believe. We weren’t eight years old playing pretend, swaddled up in a blanket and giggling between each other. This wasn’t Im gonna live in England, and we’ll live together with three cats and two dogs. This was actual real life.

I’m very aware of my place at MSA, and how exactly I’m privileged just to be here. We all got in by application. We all went through the same audition process and proved ourselves either talented or capable. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to really soak in the fact that this is all my life, and now that I have I’ve been faced with the fact that this is fleeting.

My dorm has been my home for a year, almost two. I will likely never see this dorm again once I leave. I love our school’s library so much, even if I don’t read as often as I should. I love our campus, our classrooms, and our teachers. I’ve never stopped to celebrate myself. Part of the reason is because no one has let me. Either my mom, or my siblings, or my friends. Sometimes myself. Sometimes big problems that I couldn’t possibly tackle in my life alone, like the government or the world. Another part of the reason is I never quite think its real.

The only reason I’m thinking now is because I’ve seen her a lot less. I’ve never really seen her, really. In the almost five years I’ve known her, she’s lived 6,854 miles away. Out of all of my current friends, I’ve known her the longest. We met at twelve in a cavetown discord server of all things, through a friend neither of us really have anymore. Now we’re seventeen, she’s in this weird college-highschool thing that I don’t understand and I’m here, at MSA. A senior. We’ve grown up together. I watched not one, not two, but three of my favorite shows ever just for her, and discovered so much about myself. I’ve seen her through two relationships, a situationship, and about six crushes. She’s seen me through the worst years of my life, immediately followed by my best. I knew I would see less of her when exams started.

( You hear the stories about kids in European or Asian countries quite literally dying over their exam seasons, and I thought it was some weird stereotype that didn’t actually happen.. no. It’s the most true. She taught me something, some sort of 50-10-50 studying thing that I use for writing now. I don’t think it was always like this, but she’d always text me during her ten minute breaks and we’d talk about anything. She would push it off for ten extra minutes just to talk a little longer. She’d say “I need to study, Danny” and I’d tell her “You hate me.” She never left. Exam season is brutal for bystanders as well. )

Which is why I sort of knew everything that was happening as it happened. I knew about her studying German, her language exams and how poorly she THOUGHT she did, because it was hard. I also knew when they got scores back and she had some of the best. I knew what schools she wanted to get in, and which ones she went to anyways. She’s one of the most dedicated people I know, if not the most.

I knew when she got accepted, and I knew when her VISA got approved. I guess the stress of MSA just kept me from fully appreciating the fact that my best friend was in the process of achieving her, like, actual dream. I remember when she didn’t even know what she wanted to do. She would go back and forth between her family and herself, over and over and tell me she didn’t care when she really did and couldn’t help but care a few days later. I think I saw a little bit of her worst, too. Then she got better. She didn’t know what she wanted to do, but she knew who she wanted to be and who she had to be. And she figured it out.

Sometimes, I sense little dregs of doubt in her. It’s weird that people who’ve never really looked each other in the eye can read word choice so well. I know it’s a lot of pressure for me to put on someone, but honestly I trust that she’ll figure that out, too.

To round all of this out, Dr. Alexis really taught me something about gratitude. I had never considered celebrating myself an option. I haven’t won any contests, or awards. I haven’t done anything big. I mean, I barely even passed into this year, I feel… But I did pull my GPA up from the 2.4 that haunted me for the entire first semester. I got into MSA at all. I got a high score on the ACT when I really thought I’d make a 15. I learned to suck it up, stick it out, and talk about my problems. I made friends. I learned it’s okay to think that some people and their made up problems are below me, and that I do in fact have bigger problems than that. I learned to tell people that they, indeed, have bigger problems than little old danny. My GPA is on track to be at least a 3.0 by the time I graduate, which isn’t much but it’s miles better than where I started. I was on honor roll for the second semester last year.

There are so many things that I do have to be grateful for, and I’ve spent a lot of time focusing on what I don’t have. I keep telling myself things will get better, and never stop to recognize what I do have that is good. It’s insane that I realized all of this on the first day Dr. Alexis told us that celebrating was an option.

Where I was last year, starting out as freshly 16, I didn’t really realize that the next 6 years of my life was a milestone after a milestone. 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. It’s a weird thing to think about. Theres so much ahead of me, ahead of all of us. What we do, what we say, and the bonds we make right now are going to follow us. Every decision we make for the next six years will ultimately effect something else for the rest of our lives. This is the foundation… and that’s all a little weird to think about. I’ve spent my entire life preparing to be 17, and now that I am I’m spending this time preparing for what comes next. This isn’t make-believe anymore. Either you do or you don’t.

What I’m ultimately saying here is that I didn’t celebrate myself, and so I didn’t celebrate my friends how I should have. I wasn’t aware enough of how important the now is, because I was so scared as I was looking for the next thing. I hurt a lot of people, or I feel like I did, by not being there when they needed me. Specifically, Rock. I’ve most definitely talked about her before, and she really REALLY wants to see my blogs, so I’m finally letting her because she’s letting me write about her. If I were to have any advice for my juniors, and I will be urging them to read this because like I love yall, it would be to look around at who you keep around you. Will this matter? Do you want it to? I’m so serious when I say look at yourself, and who you are, and figure it out now before you make any decisions on who you want to be. Don’t keep people around who will hinder that.  This is my commentary of the year. I predict many Greek Mythology blogs.