Month: April 2019

It came like the winter,
and a breeze that almost blew,
my brittle bones away,
once I spoke too soon.

Never break a pinky promise,
and that was set in stone,
along with the soft rock,
playing on the radio,
he never let me turn.

As my fifth finger,
wrapped around his,
I began to question,
his own motives,
and what he stood against.

I like Indie, too.
He kept a steady eye,
on the back road,
that lay before,
his rusting pick up.

I sat in unison,
with my soda pop,
in the palm of my hand,
careful not to look,
too dreary.
For he wouldn’t approve,
of anything of that sort.

Instead I stay still,
staring at the desert sand,
that scurries past us,
as we go 80,
on a speed limit of 60.
I rest my head back,
and close my billowing eyes,
thinking to myself,
I’ve already pinky promised,
and I can’t take it back.

man, you know what is crazy? this time next year, i will be eighteen and about to graduate.

i have always thought about this time, but i never thought it would be here so soon. i am scared of what happens next and so should you.

i should be scared because whatever happens next is up to me, to a certain degree. you should be scared because i do not know what happens next. that made more sense in my head. my advice to you is to make sure you have it together before now. i sort of had mine together, but not as together as it could have been, you know? i want everyone behind me to be better than me.

keep these things in mind, while going through everyday:

“when you take risks, you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail. both are equally important.”

this is a lesson no one took the time to really teach me because it was always about winning and being the best. in reality, everyone can not be the best at everything. somebody has got to lose and learn the lesson. at the same token, i feel like the “winner” should learn something as well.

go for what you want and want for what you go. < get it! clever, right?

anyways.. things happen. life happens. and they both happen because you happened. be grateful for them happening. love them, learn from them, grown from them, never leave the lessons of them.

love, support, and inspire others. display to people what you want them to display to you. put out what you want to receive. the universe gives back the energy you send it. make all the energy you use, COUNT. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12th grade-college.

Lately, the topic the world has been focusing on is the burning of Notre Dame. On April 16, the news of the Notre Dame’s demise spread like wildfire across the world and a great number of people were shocked that such a thing had happened. It was said that there were renovations being made on Notre Dame and that a worker may have left something on, causes a lot of Notre Dame and it’s famous spires collapsed. There were many pictures and videos of devastated civilians watching their beloved symbol and holder of history collapse and burn.  The event was terrible and saddening, disappointing and hurting the hearts of many. No one, including myself, could imagine such an important symbol of history to be destroyed. But, while reading articles and seeing posts about this tragic occurrence, I began to think of other land marks artifacts, and historical symbols that are still standing around the globe.

Those bits of history aren’t here to stay forever like many think they will. Not everything is permanent. One day, far into the future, the offspring of many generations after us probably will never know of the Notre Dame, the Berlin Wall, Big Ben, or maybe even the Statue of Liberty because so many things happen. The reminders of history are already old and they’re obviously going to grow older, regardless of the renovations that might be made to save them. We can only enjoy them now while we still have them. We have so many natural disasters occur such as tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, wildfires and it’s hard to know if symbols of the past will be destroyed and there’s not too much we can do. Rather than history books in the future saying that the students can visit these places, they’ll talk about when they still stood and how they fell. It’s such a saddening thing to think about because Earth’s history is so important but not everything’s permanent. Notre Dame was such an eye opener to this. Something many thought would stand for so many more years to come has fallen. That’s something we must grasp. It’s hard to do but it’s a must. 

Alternate reality games (ARGs) are defined by Wikipedia as “an interactive networked narrative that uses the real world as a platform and employs transmedia storytelling to deliver a story that may be altered by players’ ideas or actions.” In other words- it’s an interactive game using different types of media to give players puzzle pieces to the story that is being told. Many ARGs have come and gone over the years, and most of them have faded into obscurity. The most common reason for this is their failure to use the tools at their disposal to create an interesting interactive platform while also telling a good story. Many ARGs have employed the use of codes such as the Caesar cipher, Base 32, and Atbash- however, many of these codes don’t lead to anything more than the occasional hint to plot or spoiler. If one is able to create an interesting story while also using the many media platforms at their disposal in a creative way, then this would be considered a successful attempt of creating an ARG.

Because of the modern success of social media, many ARGs have implemented these into their “games”- they often create accounts under cryptic names, sometimes even using simple jumbles of letters and numbers to create an account that may not look like much on the surface, but is hiding much within its folds. Before the rise of social media, however, alternate methods were used. The rise of the ARG began with a game called “The Beast.” This elaborate game was the cumulative effort of advertising a new line of Microsoft computers and a movie called “A.I.: Artificial Intelligence.” Fake websites, email exchanges, and voicemails were set up all as part of an elaborate murder-mystery story. The game was at the time called the “Citizen Kane of online entertainment,” and at its peak, boasted over three million active participants.

Between 2001 to 2006, ARGs were mainly used for large-scale advertising for movies, products, and other widescale commercial uses. However, when sites such as YouTube and Facebook began to gain popularity, a new genre of the ARG was born: the self-sustaining ARG. These ARGs were the first to use not only multi-media platforms but also social media sites, to tell a story of mystery that pulled in fans of mystery and horror. More often than not, these early ARGs were mainly the stories of famous “creepypastas” such as Slenderman and Ben Drowned. The latter mentioned character, Ben Drowned, is one of the most prominent examples of the success of the early non-commercial ARG. This story was one of a haunted video game that haunted a society of people who were unknown to the mainstream world. To access parts of the story, participants had to send in videos of certain songs used in the game “Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” to try to forward the story. Certain songs were used for healing, the passage of time, and in some cases, death. The Ben Drowned ARG has, unfortunately, been paused for an indefinite amount of time, but it was one of the earliest pioneers in its field of storytelling and spooky stories.

Unfortunately, most ARGs of the modern era have become somewhat stale- they use the same types of patterns, same twists, and same plot devices to tell a story that many participants of ARG community have seen time and time again. When will the genre be opened to a new and fresh take on the modern methods at disposal for storytelling and clue hunting? At this point, only time will tell. However, we can always look back at past events in this community and see what sort of success the noteworthy titles have seen, and can hopefully build a new and revolutionary story from there.

(cited article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_alternate_reality_games)

Lately I’ve been wanting to find my rhyming voice again, so I wrote this. This Poem means a lot to me and I’m actually really proud of it. I hope you all enjoy. I haven’t really figured out the title yet, so the title of the blog “A Dance To Remember” is going to be my cliche temporary title. If you have any ideas, feel free to let me know.

I’m a little terrified. I must admit.
Stay still, let me take a photograph of this.

Kiss me like you mean it one last time.
I just fixed my make-up, don’t make me cry.

Pull away and hold me close.
Let’s dance the only way we know.

Spin me around, dip me down to the floor.
I don’t want to love you anymore.

My heart is breaking at your every touch.
I can’t help but wonder how you do this so much.

All eyes are on me, can they smell my fear ?
You call me beautiful as you lose hold of a tear.

I trail my fingers down your fair skin
Knowing with a sick feeling that I will never touch it again.

You ask me what’s wrong and I say I’m fine.
I’m dying to have one last good night.

History dances circles around us like secrets and sin.
We laugh under our breath, whispering “remember when..”

Those were the days that aren’t now.
Our laugh are too quiet, our screams too loud.

I watch and think about what you will do
When I kiss someone else and love someone new.

I can hear your accusation like static in my head.
All of it are things that have previously been said.

You will find a way to hurt me again, I’m sure.
I don’t believe your intentions have ever been pure.

So much time has passed yet nothing has changed.
Maybe it’s time I turned another page.

We both knew this wasn’t forever, no matter how much we claimed
I’m scared if we continue, we will drive each other insane.

But, for now let’s dance and love for the last time.
Tomorrow, my Darling, I will say good-bye.

This Thursday we go on Easter  break, and I am so ready for it. Jennifer and I have been planning to make bao buns (steamed buns) for what feels like months. It was going to just be us, but now we’re going to have some other friends come over. You know what that means? I had to go back and modify the recipes several times to match whatever quantities we needed for five people. I don’t think we can, nor should make sixty buns for five people, so I just decided to quadruple the bun recipe, which will make 48 buns, and to double the other two recipes, splitting the buns into 24 each. We plan on making Char Siu bao, a barbeque pork bun, and dou sha bao, a red bean paste bun. The dou sha bao will basically be the dessert for the day, and if Jennifer happens to make rice, we can use the extra sauce to make fried rice or to dip the pork buns in. This weekend will definitely be fun because I’ll get to hang with some old friends that I haven’t seen since this time last year. I’ll get to subject them to my cooking as well, so that’ll be extra fun. I’m so ready for this week to be over with! 

P.S.: I added links for the buns we’re going to make because maybe one of y’all will want to make them one day!

Alright guys

prepare yourselves

this is a conversation that absolutely no one cares about, but I do so here we are.

First of all, the letter Q is the bane of my existence. It serves no purpose and frustrates me to no end. I know you are thinking, “Why chloe? Why does something as small as a letter make you so mad? What’s wrong with it?”

Well…

The letter Q is as dependent letter, meaning it can’t make it’s sound without using a ‘u’. Now. It would be so incredibly simple to change words like “Quiet” into a another form that makes the same sound and uses the same amount of letters. This discovery should dethrone the letter Q from his place in the alphabet.

Kwiet/Cwiet

SEE????

DO
YOU
SEE

The letter Q is unnecessary, and what makes it even worse EVEN WORSE my friends, is that the Q can make the C/K sound, as in the word, “Clique.”

w h a t

We already have two letters that make that sound

not one

T W O

WE DON’T NEED ANOTHER ONE
WHO CAME UP WITH THIS

anyways…

this brings us to my next point.

why do we have to letters that make the same sound? Why are there some cases in which we put them together as in the word “duck?” NOT NEEDED. IT DOESN’T MAKE THE WORD ANY DIFFERENT. Also why, why, why, why, can the ‘C’ Make the ‘S’ sound but the ‘K’ can’t????????? In what universe does that makes since???? THEY MAKE THE SAME. SOUND. WHY DOES ONE GET SPECIAL PRIVILEGES

AND THIS

THIS IS JUST ONE OF MANY INSTANCES WHERE LETTERS GET TO STEAL OTHER LETTERS SOUNDS.

let’s move to my next example

The ‘F’

so, just a question, who gave ‘ph’ the right to take the ‘F’ sound as their own? Why do they get to do that???? “alphabet” “Phonics” “phone” The list goes on and on. This isn’t fair. Why are we making words harder to spell??? Who did this? WHO DID THIS???

This is injustice. This isn’t okay. WE DON’T NEED THESE.

and now

now we have arrived

at silent letters.

“opossum” “Dumb” “Butcher” “Ghost”

WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
no.

guys, by now you HAVE to see my point. There’s no need. And these aren’t even all the problems. What about plurals? What about the ‘oo’making sound ‘u’  makes What about past tense words using ‘ed’ to make the ‘t’ sound? Can you hear a difference in stopped and stopt???? NO. I SIMPLIFIED IT.

this just isn’t it. it just makes no sense absolutely no sense and the thing is, as you are reading, you will come up with more. the harder you think the more questions will arise until you are consumed with the question “WHY?”

Arkansas. Kansas.
WHAT

I don’t get it. I just don’t.

Now keep in mind, this has not been a rant. This is a protest. I am raising awareness of the idiocy of it all. Now everyone who reads will get to understand that there is stupidity in all things, even something as vital as written language.

Thank you, goodnight.

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Not a soul:

Literally no one ever: 

Chloe: thE alFAbEt iS sToOpId

A few months back, I made a post about what I had planned to wear to prom. I just wanted to follow up on that post to say that I did, indeed, cosplay as princess Zelda to prom.

I did the Twilight Princess version of Zelda. I chose her because of the sentiment i associate with that game. It was my very first Zelda game, which I want to think i played around 6th grade. That game sent me into a Nintendo obsession. It also introduced me to cosplay, which, I would really love to revisit the first cosplay I ever made (Which was from that game!)

Of course, I still love all the other Zelda games. Skyward Sword and BOTW are pretty high up in my favorites. But Twilight Princess is just, so good. It’s so good. I would fight for all of the characters. So, of course, I would choose to do that version of her.

Overall, I got the reaction I was hoping for. As soon as I walked into the common area, I was greeted with a simple “Kerri Bland.” This is perfect, because that means this was not something out of the ordinary, but rather something almost expected and ironic. It was not a big deal. It was just Kerri Bland. sometimes that’s all you need to be.

As for dancing, I found out I’m quite horrible at that. I did a thing called interpretative slow-dancing. Rather than dancing with a person, I got a group together to move in slow motion, and recreate some of the moves from the happy hands club in Napoleon Dynamite.

Still though, you don’t have to be a good dancer to have fun. I danced quite horribly, and had a blast.

The food was actually really good too! I was pleasantly surprised at how much stuff was available. The decorations were also quite nice.  I, of course, helped a little with set-up. There was a lot of work that went in from many students, parents, and staff. It really showed too! It came together quite nicely.

Overall, I just wanna thank everyone for such an awesome experience with awesome people. I can’t wait for next year! Now I just have to decide what I want to wear! I’m up for suggestions, but i’m thinking something Nintendo again. Maybe another Zelda, maybe a different character. Let me know if you have any ideas for the near future.

This is an old poem that I wrote that really resonates with my current feelings.

It’s not the end of the world
Is the worst thing to say to someone like me.
It will be okay, just give it time.
Is that supposed to save me?
The world is your oyster, they say
Enjoy it.
But how can I enjoy something that you’ll just swallow up.
How can I enjoy something that will rot.
How can i enjoy something that carries such a repugnant smell.
The world burns my nostrils
The world makes my eyes water.
They water so much that my cheeks have grown raw.
So raw that it burns to put on make up every day.
Thus why I barely wear it anymore.
And the world comes and asks me why.
Why do I hate it so much.
What did it ever do to me.
And every time I stare at myself naked in front of a mirror,
I think to myself that the world gave me this mind.
I think to myself that the world cut into my flesh as if it were a canvas and my blood was the paint.
I think to myself that the world told me I was fat.
I was worthless
I was pitiful.
But somehow the world still has the nerve
To smile in my face and ask of me to ravish it.
The world gives me people to love, and then reveals that they are truly stone.
Granite.
And I have carved them out so beautifully
Just so they can dismantle me
By thus proving that I am alone.
The world presents itself with promises
Swearing that if I try, I can do anything.
That love will always be there.
That suffering will never last.
The world tells me that I’m allowed to be happy.
But supplies nothing to be happy about.
The world does nothing but take, and take, until there is nothing left but the coping methods..
And I don’t even want those anymore.
The world tells me that I am allowed to love,
But I get ridiculed and left behind
Feeling !unappreciated, and worthless.
And I could sit there and tell my “friends” and my doctors how I feel
And all they tell me is that it’s not the end of the world.
They tell me to take medications
But my medications just make it worse.
They tell to sleep and eat like a normal person, but what is a normal person in this world.
They try to find diagnostics, and use statistics against me. They hear me but they are not listening.
It’s not the end of the world.
They tell me that I am sick.
They label me with this and that, so many problems, can I even be fixed.
They threaten me with hospitals
And swear that they will make it better
But I have lived this way for so long
I have come to realize that there is no better.
So do not tell me that it’s not the end of the world.
Because one day the world will implode in on itself.
And we will all turn to stone.
Our flesh will melt from our bones
And we will scream at the top of our lungs
The end of the world
Is every moment.
Every day.
The end of the world is now.
And you can’t tell me otherwise.

I feel as if my whole existence is one big fail-safe mechanism.