Run Run

My review this month will be on a song entitled “Run Run” by Jill Scott. I chose this song because it reminds me of my mother, and most mothers in times like these. Since we have been out of school, my mother has continued to work and thrive in working two jobs. The song lyrics are as follows:

Baby, mama be back in a minute
Gotta hustle and handle my business
I’ll be right back when I’m done
I gotta run run run run, baby
Gotta put food on the table
Mama’s workin’ and know mama’s able
I’ve gotta run run run run
I’m Superwoman
Flying through the city
There’s only one way to make baby go and get it
Overworked, underpaid
Lord knows I need a raise
But when I walk by the guys say
“Baby, do you wanna go for a ride?
We can cruise on down 405
‘Cause it look like you could be the one”
I gotta run run run run, baby
Gotta put food on the table
Mama’s workin’ and know mama’s able
I’ll be right back when I’m done
I gotta run run run run
Me, oh my
Me, myself and I and my baby
I tell no lie
I try for my baby
Every night, I pray for my baby
Oh
I swim the deepest sea
I climb the highest mountain for you, baby
Oh
Anything, oh
Mama’s gonna be there when you’re
Mama’s gonna be there when you’re down
I love you, baby
So now
I’ve gotta run run run run run run run run run run run run baby
The song is fast-paced, which gives me the idea that mothers make things happen, FAST. You know? Whenever I need a little boost of motivation on work, I listen to it so that it reminds me that my mother has this mentality. In this way, I aspire to be just like her. A boss, in all forms of the word. Hats off to those mothers doing the same thing. I know juggling home life and the online school cannot be easy, especially when it was so easy to separate the two. We will all be strong and conquer.

Don’t Call Review

This month’s review will be on a song that has been getting me through Senior Year! The name of the song is “Don’t Call” by Leon Timbo. The song is basically about having that one friend you can always call on, no matter what. My mother used to listen to this song a lot and, occasionally, I will find her still listening to it, of course. I have always understood the meaning of the song, but it never held any value to me. Now that I have had to endure the infamous SENIOR YEAR, I listen to this song every day when I wake up. That friend, for me, is my mother. I talk to her at least twice a day, once when we first get up and once in the evening. Without further ado, here’s the song:

Don’t call come get me, cause I need your help.

I’d fall in my misery, if you weren’t there.

I know I’m a mystery, and shuga that ain’t fair.

Don’t call come get me, and I’ll be right here.

 

Promise me no questions, and I’ll promise you no lies.

You can come stay if you wanna, pray if you wanna, but I need your time.

I can’t trust myself in this state I’m in, and your my God sent.

And if I cry, ride it out with me, fight it out with me if your my friend.

 

Don’t call come get me, cause I need your help.

I’d fall in my misery, if you weren’t there.

I know I’m a mystery, and shuga that ain’t fair.

Don’t call come get me, and I’ll be right here.

 

You may not have the answers, you may not have no words at all.

I just need your company here so love on me now.

I can’t trust myself in this state that I’m in no, no so…

Ride it out with me, fight it out with me, if your my real friend.

 

 

 

 

Don’t call come get me, cause I need your help.

I’d fall in my misery, if you weren’t there.

I know I’m a mystery, and shuga that ain’t fair.

Don’t call come get me, and I’ll be right here.

 

I ain’t got a whole lotta friends, and I ain’t tryna make this no revenge.

I need you.

Help… help…

 

Come get me.

I’m not doing so well, no.

Come get me.

Don’t pick up the phone and call me, get over here.

Come get me.

Oh I might do some things I’m not supposed to do,

be somewhere I’m not supposed to be, I’m here.

Come get me.

I need my friend, I need my friend.

Come get me.

Nobody understands me, quite the way you do.

Come get me.

Don’t give up on me, don’t give up on me.

Come get me.

Your love is healing to my soul.

 

I’ll be right there.

I’ll be right there.

I’ll be right there.

There.

 

This song reminds me every morning that I have someone who is willing to stand with me in any situation to love and guide me truthfully. We love to see it.

The Year of Change

Happy New Year! I figured that this year would be one of the most significant years of my life. Not only am I graduating high school, but I am also turning eighteen. Those are two really great accomplishments, taking into consideration the way this cold world is going right now. I have heard so many young black males not making it to eighteen or graduation due to violence and lack of structure or discipline. So, I decided to make a pretty big decision on the first Saturday of this year. I cut my hair. I had the same hairstyle for roughly seven years.

The number one reason I had to let the hair go was that so much came with that hair. Not even taking into consideration the upkeep of the hair. The constant washing, moisturizing, and shaping of it. There was a bit of trauma and disaster that came along with it. Though it was beautiful, it was damaged, and so was I. At the time, I felt the best thing I could do was cut it all off. It took a bit of a tole on me, and still sort of is, but that is only because of the length of time I kept it.

I always said that I was ready to make a change in my life, but how can I make a change if I have been looking at the same person for a number of years. In order for me to change positively, I had to cut some things out of my life. The hair just happened to be a part of the things I had to change. I am growing it back, but that will take months. I am allowing myself those months to heal from the things that dismantled any unstable components of my life.

This year, a lot is changing in my life. I will be considered a legal adult soon, I will be leaving a school that I consider home, and I will be starting a higher education process at a new school. There is no possible way I will allow myself to carry the burdens and baggage of the version of me from months and in some cases, even years ago.

At this stage of my life, I just plan to take the lessons I have learned and apply them into my everyday life so that I can achieve so many exceptional things in this lifetime. Then, take those same lessons and pass them down to those behind me and hopefully make a change in this world.

Jada

This month, with the help of my sweet junior, Stephyne Weathersby, I chose to review Jada by Tupac. I highly recommend everyone retrieve the poem book, “The Rose that Grew from Concrete”. The poem Jada reads:

JADA

u R the omega of my Heart

The foundation 4 my conception of Love

when I think of what a Black woman should be

it’s u that I First think of

 

u will never fully understand

How Deeply my Heart Feels 4 u

I worry that we’ll grow apart

and I’ll never end up losing u

 

u bring me 2 climax without sex

and u do it all with regal grace

u R my Heart in Human Form

a Friend I could never replace

 

First, I would like to acknowledge that the poem speaks volumes on pure friendship. I truly admire how he was able to express his undying love for a person he has no desire to be with romantically. Anytime this is successfully done, I think it was one of the most beautiful things I could ever see. Him writing in what we call “text talk” captures the pure innocence of their relationship. But, I do enjoy the fact that he capitalized on the letters of the most important words in the poem. Because of this, the words that evoked emotion stuck with me. After reading this, I had a new found love and respect for platonic relationships. The metaphors he used to describe how severely he loved and appreciated her were perfect. They were some of what a married couple or puppy love staged relationship would be, but using them in a different context was genius.

Having something like this to keep in remembrance of Tupac, along with his legacy, is priceless. All generations should be familiar with who he was, what he stood for, and the creative approaches he took to get his point across.

 

The Yellow Wallpaper

My review this month will be on The Yellow Wallpaper.

We read this story last week and watched a screen adaption of the story. It initially stuck with me because it gave me a glimpse of some of the natural traumatic things that women experience, especially after birthing children. Throughout my life, I have heard a lot of stories about women who have emotional and mental spirals after giving birth, but I think putting that feeling into words and having a visible representation gave me a much better understanding. I do recommend this piece for males who need a better understanding of what women go through, and for women who are mature enough to handle the truth about the aftermath of bringing another human into this world. I think it is also important for women to know and understand that they are not alone.

The way that the author described not only the feeling but give examples of some of the events that take place during this time period was essential to the development of the story. She gave us the freedom of being able to visualize the trauma for ourselves. It was almost like she provided the outline and foundation to build from and it is up to you to form your own vision of the pain.

The screen adaption though got me to look at it from a different perspective but gave the same message. It evoked a different set of emotions. The written piece gave me room to imagine the pain, but the screen adaption gave me the pain and gave me permission to feel for the woman. The actions that added to the pain she was already enduring were clearer and hit a lot harder.

Overall, the story was a perfect way to evoke feelings that would get people to understand women. I already respected women a lot, but the more I learn about what they deal with and the things their bodies go through, I respect and think higher of them. Read this story, your heart will melt, but it’ll also make you appreciate the strength of a woman!

I, Too ..

The poem I am reviewing is I, Too Am America by Langston Hughes. I remember the first time I was introduced to this poem. I was about twelve years old, in the sixth grade, at Davis Elementary School in Greenwood, Mississippi. We were asked to research, memorize, and perform a poem for the Black History Program. This was the piece I decided to perform.

I, Too

By Langston Hughes

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.

They send me to eat in the kitchen

When company comes,

But I laugh,

And eat well,

And grow strong.

 

Tomorrow,

I’ll be at the table

When company comes.

Nobody’ll dare

Say to me,

“Eat in the kitchen,”

Then.

 

Besides,

They’ll see how beautiful I am

And be ashamed—

 

I, too, am America.

 

This poem resonates with me soul-y because of the content. I am a black male in the United States of America. It is pretty difficult living being a black male in this day and age. His first line, “I too, sing America,” reminds me of the Star Spangled Banner. (I am pretty sure this is not what he meant, but it is where my mind went.) There have been a lot of white people to sing the Start Spangled Banner, but there have been even more black people to sing it. In reality, the black people who sung it, have gone down in history for being the best to ever do it.  The two that instantly come to mind are Whitney Houston and Marvin Gaye. According to the world, Whitney sang it perfectly and Marvin’s rendition was very creative.

The next part, “I am the darker brother. They send me to eat in the kitchen when company comes, but I laugh, and eat well, and grow strong.” The fact that he had to state the obvious, which was that he’s the “darker brother”, says a lot. It is obvious. Him saying it leads to him basically saying that having darker brothers around is embarrassing, which is why the darker brothers are sent to the kitchen to eat. I love how he turns into something positive though. Laughter is great for the soul. Good southern cooking is also great for growing healthy and strong, mentally and physically.

The next stanza says, “Tomorrow, I’ll be at the table, when company comes. Nobody’ll dare say to me, “Eat in the kitchen,” Then.” This simply gives me hope that with social work, determination, consistence, and time, some people won’t even have the opportunity to tell us (the darker brothers) where we can and cannot sit or eat.

“Besides, they’ll see how beautiful I am and be ashamed – I, too, am America.”

This does nothing but make my melanin smile. They’ll see that the darker brother is also the talented and intelligent brother. By that point, they’ll realize that they have missed out on a lot of experience.

The one thing that I appreciate the most is that his words have stood the test of time. They were relevant in his time period, and they still are in 2019.

Brown Skin Girl Review

This moment is very bittersweet for me. My first blog as a senior, and last first blog as an MSA student. Agh! For my first post, I would like to review a verse a few verses of Brown Skin Girl by Beyoncé Knowles featuring Blue Ivy, Ayodeji Ibrahim Balogun, and Saint Jhn.  The first two I am reviewing says:

Tonight I might fall in love, dependin’ on how you hold me

I’m glad that I’m calmin’ down, can’t let no one come control me

Keep dancin’ and call it love, she fightin’ but fallin’ slowly

If ever you are in doubt, remember what mama told me

This verse sounds like something that should be in an inspirational book for teenage girls. The lines, “can’t let no one come control me”, “she fightin’ but fallin’ slowly”, and “remember what mama told me” gives me those vibes.

Brown skin girl, ya skin just like pearls

Your back against the world

I never trade you for anybody else, say

Brown skin girl, ya skin just like pearls

The best think inna di world

I never trade you for anybody else, say

This verse gives me a young mother talking to her five or seven-year-old daughter, boosting her confidence. I think these lines are the most impactful because of the context. Also, although I do believe it could account for EVERY black female on this Earth, it just feels more-so targeted towards the younger (ages four to about ten) little girls. I am a firm believer in starting early, in regards to telling a child just how perfect they are. Comparing melanin skin to pearls is brilliant. I think it is most important to say, “your back against the world”. I would even go as far as to say your back against the world because the world can and will turn its’ back on you.

Here is the next part:

Have you looked in the mirror lately?

Wish you could trade eyes with me

There’s complexities in complexion

But your skin, it glow like diamonds

Dig me like the earth, you be giving birth

Took everything in life, baby, know your worth

I love everything about you, from your nappy curls

To every single curve, your body natural

Same skin that was broken be the same skin takin’ over

Most thinks out of focus, view

But when you’re in the room, they notice you

‘Cause you’re beautiful

I feel like these lines are targeted more towards the adult of the female AA race. I think this just based off of her saying “you be giving birth”. I also think it has an undertone about post-partum depression because she says, “know your worth”. I enjoyed that she referenced the stereotypes and somewhat facts of the naps and curves. I do also believe that she sort of referenced herself when she said “same skin takin’ over” because she is Queen Bey, you know? I am glad she said that being noticed is because of the beauty and not for obvious other reasons.

The last line I would like to review is:

“YOUR SKIN IS NOT ONLY DARK; IT SHINES AND IT TELLS YOUR STORY.”

This is the most important line for EVERY BLACK PERSON. I think it makes a statement since it is at the end.

Overall, the message of the song is amazing. I do thoroughly enjoy that it has an African tone in the words. The song is great. I strongly recommend it.

 

’tis the day.

This is officially my last blog post as a Junior at the Mississippi School of the Arts. This year has provided me with not only a broader education but also the life lessons I need to make it through. I am not saying that I know everything, nor am I saying that I have nothing else to learn, but this year has been a great learning experience in many forms. When I first got here, I planned on doing everything under the sun to keep myself busy. God, on the other day, had other plans. He gave me the chance to just live and learn and for that I am grateful. On the other hand, my living and learning lead to me working extremely hard, which led to me being blessed with opportunities I would have never thought of. As of right now, I am an executive of the biggest production on campus, the Black History Month Program and President of Artober Fest (our school’s haunted house). Tomorrow, I will find out whether I am an officer in Total Praise (our school’s gospel group). Along with being a busy body, I will have a lot of community service hours because of how many clubs I will be participating in. I would like to end my junior blogging experience on a positive note, so I am going to share a poem that I wrote. I came in writing poems and I want to leave writing them as well. This poem is called “tis the day”.

 

’tis the day. the day we’ve all planned 25 years in advance. my best-friend is adjusting my outfit to make sure it is as close to perfect as possible. you are already there, waiting on my mother and I to walk down this path of forever. I am ready to admire your face, kiss your lips, and rub your chest after these long 24 hours. I walk down the aisle, tears rolling down my face because your smile assures me that I and doing the right thing. our love radiates from our bodies into each other’s souls. and from that moment on, I knew…

 

I Do. I Did. I Always Will.

life lesson.

Story-time.

Friday, May 3, 2019: It t’was a go-home weekend, but it was also awards day. I only got one award, which kind of ticked me off because I work hella hard everyday. It just seems like my work goes un-noticed. I have been feeling this way for a long time, but this day the feeling inflamed.

Saturday, May 4, 2019: My mother had to go to work, so she gave me a list of things to do while she was gone. Meanwhile, I had to attend my grandmother’s funeral, so I had to make sure I got it all done. I did, no problem. I got ready for the funeral and went. Keep in mind, it is raining cats and dogs. My sister broke down and it hurt my heart. Then, we went to the burial sight, which was not even in my city, but about 20-30 minutes away. Me, along with some of my friends, took that drive. We get there and I am trying to turn around because we are at the end of the processional line. I back up and I get my entire right tire stuck in a ditch. An old man pulls me out and warns me that any damage is not on him. I get my BRAND NEW clothes dirty, but at least my truck was fine.

Sunday, March 5, 2019: I came back here.

Moral of the story: Know where you are driving, so you do not get stuck in a ditch.

 

 

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now what? what’s next?

In this lifetime, you will learn that sometimes letting a person go is the best option. When the pain is numbly unbearable and disheartening, distance is the only curable medication. Although your heart will cry and your eyes will bleed, every thing is going to be okay.

Love is a bittersweet substance that sinks into the depths of your emotional mind and swallows you whole. Everything will align itself, when the time is right.

Do not rush it, do not seek it, do not long for it. For when you do, what you seek will not always be what you find. Then there you are again, left to drowning in your self made puddles. Internally screaming for the distraught feeling to cease.

Now what? What is next?

It is not always easy to pick yourself back up and move on.

So I say again… now what? what is next?