rocks in my pockets.

have you ever seen a rock you just had to have?

whether it be on a sidewalk or in the forest somewhere, in the sand or in the snow – something about that rock just stood out to you. so you picked it up, stuffed it in your pocket, and went along with your day with the weight of the rock in your pocket as a reminder of the miniscule, but beautiful, thing that made your day.

i love to use this analogy as a way to think of something i learned at msa. over the span of the school year here ive learned a lot about myself, life, and other people, but there is one thing i learned that i constantly keep in the back of my mind when interacting with people. just like a pretty little rock i put in my pocket, there is one thing i picked up from msa and apply to all aspects of my life.

i figured that now was the perfect time to try to articulate this knowledge into a blog, especially to pass down to incoming juniors. the rock you may ask?

Conversations over Conclusions

the piece of knowledge i picked up from msa that is the most important (in my opinion) is an analogy as old as time

don’t judge a book by its cover. simple as it seems, its the truth. whether it be by a persons outward appearance, demeanor, or just the emotion they seemingly are wearing on their face at the time, don’t be quick to judge.

there were so many instances throughout this year where i was quick to judge. mostly out of my own self consciousness. i would look at all the people at msa and think ‘they are so much cooler than me, there is no way i could talk to them.’ but by doing that, i ended up isolating myself and missing out on so many amazing friendships.

it wasn’t until halfway through the school year that i started to have conversations that broke down my preconceived ideas of what people would be like. and by having these conversations, i realized that we all felt the same way. that we all were thrown into a new situation with new people. that i wasnt the only one afraid of jumping into the deep end of new friendships.

all of this is basically to just tell incoming juniors – we understand. i know it may be intimidating coming into this new situation, and i know that you’ll most likely feel intimidated or scared at one moment or another throughout the year. but dont be afraid to reach out! to your fellow juniors and your seniors. dont make assumptions about people or how they act based off of what they look like, because i promise, you’ll most likely be surprised when you get to know them!

anyways, seeing as this is my last blog of junior year, i figured there was no better time to dump a bunch of msa pictures from my downloads below it. lol enjoy!

(can’t wait to meet you new students!)

 

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My 5 Favorite Foods

CHICKEN N’ DUMPLINS

I think this choice of food quite literally sums up my whole existence. Chicken and dumplings are 24/7 running through my mind. Sleeping? Dreaming about dumplings. Walking to class? I wish i had some dumplings. Writing a story? Some warm chicken and dumplings would be a perfect snack.

The only requirement is that they are very peppered.

runningamarathonsogood/10

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GYOZA

Okay okay, I know, it is another strain of dumplings. But gyoza is completely different. It is a perfect pocket of pork and veggies. Either steamed or fried, served with a perfectly spicy sauce. I would do anything for some steamed pork gyoza.

sosososoyummyomgicry/10

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MUFFALETTA

muh fuh lah tah

Now this food has been my favorite since i was a young little lad(y). Muffalettas are like the perfect comfort food, but it is so hard to find a good one outside of New Orleans unless you make it yourself. Which is probably the reason I like them so much – because its like a treat when I can find a really well made one.

myfavoritecomfortfood/10

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SEAWEED SALAD:

YAYYYYY. One thing about me? I LOVE SEAWEED. But especially this salty sea delicacy. I’ve never been a picky eater, so when I was 5 i first wanted to try to seaweed salad, and I immediately started ordering it everytime i saw it on a menu. Seaweed salad makes me SO happy. It is quite hard to get other people to agree that it is delicious, but thats okay lol.

mmmcrunchy/10

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CHICKEN NUGGETS

Okay, i may be an adventurous eater, but nothing will ever beat the classic, wonderfully delicious, almighty chicken nuggets. I think its something about the familiarity and  sameness of chicken nuggets that just makes it *chef’s kisses* delicious.

wooohoooochickennugz/10

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one of my maladaptive daydreams

As I sit in this classroom with my peers all around me, I wonder if they even have a clue about what goes on in my mind. I’m going to be honest here, I rarely ever am just sitting with an empty mind. Most of the time when I appear to be calm or lost in thought, I am actually soaring through the sky as a bird or making a whole story about how I am a celebrity. I figured that now was the perfect time to share one of the daydreams I frequently enter. Now, I am going to warn that this is probably the most boring daydream you’ll ever hear of, but it’s what keeps me going, so it’s the one I have chosen to share. 

Anyways:

I sit at my desk. My legs are achy, and my back is stiff, but I wouldn’t trade this seat for the world. I’ve worked for years, and it’s finally paid off. A stack of papers ten inches tall is piled on my desk next to the pictures of family and random sticky notes with reminders. I’m writing. 

The confirmation draft for the second book in my series needs to be sent in by Tuesday of next week, but I am not worried. I’m lost in a whirlwind of characters, words, plot lines, and settings. Writing comes easy to me. I sit down each day and lose myself, but I am always drawn back. The words spilling out of my mind are like an anchor, and as each word appears in front of me on the page, a certain relief is felt. A weight is lifted. 

I write and write and write. I look at the time. End of the day. It was a successful day. I feel fulfilled. I’m not worn out by my day-to-day job; I’m energized. I feel motivated at the end of the day to start again tomorrow. To continue on with the same passion that I started with years ago. 

sharpening pencils

hello fellow blogspacers i am currently listening to my dear friend sharpen pencils one by one using a mechanical sharpener. one may think that i am getting more annoyed by the minute, but really, my mind is calm. even as he holds the mechanical pencil sharpener to my ear so I can hear each pencil be shrilly sharpened – i am as calm as can be.

actually, i usually work best when chaos is around me honestly. So, not even the terribly shrill sound of 100 pencils being sharpened could break my focus. for example, as i write this blog, the sharpening of pencils is just as soothing as the smooth jazz music mrs. sibley has playing in the lab today. 

i actually love the sound of sharpening pencils.

Platonic Soulmates: Fate or Fiction?

I used to hear the term “Platonic Soulmate” and think ‘well that is a nice way to say best friend!’ I really didn’t understand the whole meaning of saying something like that. I always thought of it as just a term that people used to be cheesy, honestly. I didn’t understand it until the universe sent me the perfect friend at the perfect time.

As many of you who will read this blog may know, my roommate Emma and I are rarely ever seen apart. We talk like two elderly women who have known each other since elementary school back in the 60’s. For at least the first week or two of school at MSA people thought we either were related for friends for years, but we actually had met only a few months before school. Right here is the part where I tell the story like an elderly woman:

One day, before even turning in the applications for MSA, my mom had basically dragged me by the ear to Brookhaven to take a tour of the school. The story basically goes that I met Emma on the tour and then we decided to go out to eat together after. The weird part was that even though we had never spoken to each other before, we began talking like we had been friends for years.  Even my parents were shocked at that point (knowing how I usually am with strangers).  After a tour, lunch, and a (I think) around 2 hour conversation, we had basically agreed to be roommates. It was, as my mom likes to call it, “A God Wink”, because before that day, I had completely given up on wanting to go to MSA. (If I am honest, I was really just waiting for a sign that made me think going to MSA would be a good decision.)

Now, although I may seem to give off a cheesy, lovey demeanor, it’s actually really uncommon for me to tell my friends how much appreciate them. It seems like the closer I get to someone, the less I verbally confirm that I am grateful, so I wanted to take a chance on this blog to say thank you to my roommate, bestie, and platonic soulmate, Emma. (cringe <3 jk) Joking aside, I am the most grateful for Emma out of all of the people I have met at MSA, and I am convinced sometimes that we share a brain. Honestly, I probably would have left MSA the first week if it hadn’t have been for the immediate best friend that Emma was. 

So enough of the cringy, sappy, emotions, enjoy this picture of me and my soulmate lookin cool :  

a celebration of us so far!

we have done it. we are on the threshold of spring break, and we are ready to take a week off. it was hard, yes, but we have made it this far. now, I know that it doesn’t seem as if it is super easy to just take a break, to put work and school on pause, but you deserve it!

i know that i for one am super duper excited to be able to take a breather, but i am also concerned about getting all of my work done. the bad news is, those worries don’t really just go away, but I think a week off of having to actively work on projects is just what i need at the moment.

im not gonna lie to the lovely blogspacers, I am extremely burnt out. which is probably why this blog is going to be very short. i really just needed a moment to tell myself what i needed to hear, because spring break can’t get here fast enough!

so, basically, I am writing this blog as a pat on the back to both of us. you and myself… we did it!

Reasons Why I Love Nick Miller

I am sure that many of my friends know by now that one of my favorite shows of all time is New Girl. I actually wasn’t planning on making a blog about New Girl any time soon, but I got inspired last week when Jordan posted her ranking of the characters of the show (go check it out if you haven’t already). I actually have been watching the show since I was young and have always taken a liking to a particular character – Nick Miller.

Now, I’m sure that people reading this blog who are also a fan of the show are thinking, ‘Nick?’ Yes. I have loved Nick Miller since I was a wee little New Girl stan. Not for all of the reasons that you may thing. Not because of his lazy, slouchy look or his allergic to affection attitude – although those are small factors. So, I figured that with this blog I would compile some of the reasons why I love this character so much!

1. his endlessly quotable moments

“I’d give you a hug, but my shirt smells pretty weird today.”

“I’m not convince I know how to read; I’ve just memorized a lot of words.”

“Adele’s amazing.” (hehe)

“I like getting older. It’s like I am finally aging into my personality.” (felt that one)

2. he’s a writer

Okay, yes, his book may have sucked, but he wrote it! I feel like Nick’s passion for writing is glossed over most of the time. Yes, he did take a ridiculously long amount of time to write a book that was- not that great, but he was dedicated to it! Which is a big deal for Nick who is well-known for his commitment issues. 

3. king of being realistic

In the show, oddly, Nick is sometimes the voice of reason. He is usually the one who brings Jessica’s bubbly attitude down to a safe level of dreamy. Often he calls out when Jess’s positivity gets the best of her and leads her into situations that she gets stuck in. I don’t know, I just really like the idea of the “bummy friend being the voice of reason in situations. 

Anyways, those were just some of the reasons why I love Nick Miller. I was thinking about starting a series of these for each New Girl main character… but who knows what I’ll write next week!

— A 

the urge to post – really living?

The other day I went to eat lunch at a new restaurant near me. One of the drawing factors of this restaurant was the little robot that brought appetizers to the table. (Great marketing by the way.) Of course, I ordered an appetizer that was delivered by the cute little robot that was programmed to greet you.  And although I should have just been enjoying the experience, of course, my first thought? “I should post this!” 

The reasoning behind why? I really have no clue. There was no value to the post I would have made other than showing people the dumplings being brought to me by a small robot… the more I think about it, the sillier I feel. I’ve noticed myself doing this on many, many occasions. Instead of my first thought during an exciting event being, “Wow, I am so glad I get to experience this.” it more times than not is “Wow, I should post this.” 

— And I hate it. I hate that I feel the need to do more than just experience the moment. But there is also the other side of that argument, which is I enjoy the experience I am having so much that I feel the need to share it with others. 

Recently, I have been kind of thinking over what I am actually feeling in those moments before my finger hovers over the post button. Do I just want to share with others? or Am I doing this for others?  In this day and age, posting our lives is almost a natural instinct to most people. Even in the older generations, facebook has become like a scrapbook for us to document almost every moment of our lives. Which makes me think about how much of the things we post we have actually experienced.

But of course, not all posting is related to sharing our own lives. There are forms of web sharing that can really make a difference. The internet can give you opportunities to support communities you would have otherwise never known of. The ability to share is something that I don’t want us as humans to take lightly. 

So next time I go to instantly share a part of my life, I want to keep in mind the notion that sharing everything isn’t always as valuable as living it.

 

awareness – and using it every day

When mentioned, most people think of awareness in the political/social sense, but what I am going to write about today is awareness in relation to the human condition. How we, as people, express awareness is something so important not only in close relationships and life, but also in how our actions reflect that awareness onto others. 

When I think about what I want people describe me as, I often think the word aware is what I strive for. Not only in the sense of being aware of other people’s feelings and emotions, but also in the way I take in my surroundings. I hope that I am aware of where I am and the importance of what I am doing. I hope I take into account the people around me, and the different ways they may view the world. 

Awareness to me isn’t just having the knowledge of a certain topic, it is taking that knowledge and applying it to your daily interactions. Awareness is having an open conversation and accepting when you have done wrong. Awareness is sharing the knowledge you have learned and hoping that others wish to be mindful too.  

As a human, I want to constantly expand the way I think of things, and I want to apply everything I have learned and continue to learn to the way I live to be a better friend and human to people around me.

 

where am i going? i have no clue!

sometimes i find comfort in the fact that i don’t have a plan. sometimes i am thankful that i am okay with not knowing where my life is headed but getting too comfortable in that mindset is what can lead to never progressing.

i spent so many years too focused on the future to the point that i could no longer relish in the present. but now, sometimes i feel as if i am not focused enough on where i am headed in the future. i know that i want to have a career in english or writing somehow… but where does a person even start to know what they want? how do i know if i’ll want a job in an office or out in the world if i have never done it?

finding a balance between overly worrying about the future and pretending it doesn’t exist is something that continues to kick my butt every day.  on one hand, worrying about the future is a good thing, but on the other, damaging your mindset to make the future come quicker does no good. the same thing applies to not thinking about the future is a line that is hard to walk without slipping too much to one side.

i really don’t even know why i wrote this blog. maybe the purpose of it is just to proclaim the fact that i don’t know where i’m going. but then again, who really does?

anyways, until next week,

— A