Month: November 2018

I have always been fascinated by Stephen Hawking. I may not be a science buff, but his thoughts have really made me consider the concept of time. I remember the first time I watched The Theory of Everything. I was in junior high, and I was trying make connections to what I actually believed about life. The movie, which is Stephen Hawking’s life story, left me gasping for breath. The man, his family, and everything they went through is truly remarkable. That movie was honestly the beginning of the formation for my current thought process.

This weekend, I watched it again. I had searched and recorded it a few weeks ago when I was thinking about Hawking and his death, which happened in March of this year. Watching it this time was an entirely new experience. I am older now, so I could better understand it all this time.

You see, it is not just his thoughts that leave me awed. Quite honestly, I don’t understand a good bit of it. I’m not a physicist after all. What is so phenomenal to me is that he was diagnosed with ALS when he was twenty-one. He was expected to die with two years. He didn’t. No, instead he got married and had children. Instead of dying, he gave life to a theory, and then he disproved it. Instead of dying at the age of 23, he died at the age of 76, having lived life to the best of his ability. He met the Queen. He denied knighthood. No, his life wasn’t easy. He lost the ability to voluntarily move a single muscle, but he didn’t stop. He took the concept of time and ran with it. He spent his entire adult life trying to prove the beginning of time and put it all into an equation. He was exceptional.

This man inspires me beyond anything. I read about him, and I feel as if I can do anything as long as I have the ambition to do it. Stephen Hawking gives me hope. He and I may have nothing in common, but I can only dream of being as strong Hawking. I will hold his story with me through every trial, and I will remember that he lived. If he could live, if he could keep going, then so can I.

I recommend watching The Theory of Everything. It will truly change the way you see life.

All week I wait for the weekend. I love the memories they give me. Many weekends are spent with my friends and I riding around in my car, blaring music obscenely loud as we drive through our little t0wn of Monticello.

I can’t even count how many hours I have spent sitting at Sonic. Seriously, Sonic is the hangout in our town. On a Friday night at about ten o’clock, after a football game, the place is crowded. There are loud rednecks sitting on tailgates and every now and then someone accidently rams into another car.

My friends and I tend to stay on the quieter side of things, in my car that is. We tend to sit and watch people get in fights or just be dumb and we laugh while eating mozzarella sticks and tater tots.

Funny as it seems, we actually have some really good talks there. It’s very convenient, because when someone starts to cry, I can just push a button and get some ice cream.

That’s not how I spend my whole weekend, but that is an average Friday night for me.

Its that time of the year again! the time where we ignore Thanksgiving, and skip straight to Christmas.

So, what gets me in the holiday spirit? Royal Danish cookies and Hatsune Miku, of course! Nothing says Christmas like food and Japanese hologram pop-stars. As soon as Walmart puts out those cookies, you can rest assured that the new snow Miku outfit will be released the next day.

 

This years snow Miku outfit isn’t my favorite, but that’s okay. I just find this very impractical considering the amount of snow around her. then again, she’s not real. the weather / temperature do not bother her. If only that were me.

Not sure why I’m really doing this, But here’s my top 10 favorite Hatsune Miku songs, in no particular order, and for very vague reasons.

10. Sweet magic

i like the part where she isn’t saying any actual words, but just uses catchy fillers. very nice. good outfits. cant say sweet right. more like “sweetu” which i highly enjoy.

9. Sand Planet

only for the death metal screech at the very beginning. she says happy birthday at some point.

8. 1,2 Fanclub

there’s so many languages in this song and it gets confusing. If you learn 3 languages in under 4 minutes, its a good song.

7. My Seventh Celebration

seven.

also I low key based my coffee house poem off this song.

6. Romeo and Cinderella

I just. AHHH the part where she slightly drops her voice. I cry every time I listen to this song strictly for the fact that she kinda uses  her lower range I love Miku so so much.

5. Ghost Rule

its a very fast paced song but she has one really long note in it and it just makes the whole song so interesting to listen to

4. Worlds End Dancehall

i love the idea of two bands battling while on top of train cars, and this song just really captures that. Miku and Luka are dancing and singing in competition but they join together and it’s just such a  powerful message about friendship and settling differences.

3. The foxes wedding day

THE QUOTES.

THE STORY.

THE REFERENCES.

“I sleep where the Lady Fox sleeps.” is one of my favorite parts of the song.

like, wow. what does that even mean? are you Lady fox? did you take over Lady Fox? Where is Lady Fox? so much mystery i love it.

2. Sadistic music factory

shes so EVIL and ANGRY and its so cool. and it progressively speeds up, which makes it have a kind of creepy vibe.

1. The skeleton orchestra and lilia

I have no clue what this song is trying to get across, but I highly enjoy it. it’s Miku, in a red dress, dancing with skeletons. What more could you ask for?

 

This post was inspired by a comment made to me earlier this week. 

The other night, I was talking to someone on the phone. We were discussing some things that have taken place in their life, that they did not necessarily like. They contentiously made it clear that they did not want anyone to care about them because of some things people had done to them in the past. So I told that person, “I know sometimes we feel like we are super-human and do not need anyone or anything, but the reality is, we do. I do not care who or what it is, we all have to depend on someone or something at some point in our lives, even as adults.” That person felt the need to say to me, “No, you do not understand. You are only 16, so you have not really been through anything.”

I thought it would be nice to give that person a friendly reminder as to where I was and what I was doing, and they still felt the same way. It got me thinking, does anyone truly understand the struggles of a teenager, in this day and age because it does not seem like it. Being a teenager in 2018 is not a walk in the park. Let alone a teenager in 2018 who is, what feels like, a million miles away from home. Do not get me wrong, some of the things we are so called “stressed” about, much like being here, we bring upon ourselves. None the less, life happens to all of us.

Let’s break it down. Think about what the average 16-year old may endure; not that much, right? Maybe some family issues, some disagreements between friends, some bullying, maybe struggling in a class or two? Well move them hours away from home with teenagers who are experiencing or have experienced some of the exact same issues and leave them there to stay. I am not saying it is impossible to handle it, but it is a lot.  People need to understand that everyone does not deal with things the same way. Actually, I read this quote the other day and it spoke volumes to this generation, as a whole. 

"The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets, the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears, and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain." 

To me, this hold a lot of weight. When it comes to what people go through, especially teenagers, we should just be there for one another because we never truly know what others are going through unless we are there to experience it with them.

 Maybe I am just looking to deep into it, but I am just not a fan of people discrediting others for the things they have gone through based off of a personal opinion/judgement. 

 

You came without asking,

Took without warning.

Left with no goodbye.

Repeated like you never went.

 

You were the stench in the air.

The elephant in this room.

Uncomfortable is how I’d describe.

How anyone who knew you would.

 

When I’d ask you to leave,

You’d give that forbidden smirk,

Then move even closer to me.

Invading any space I thought I had.

 

Never was I allowed to breathe,

without asking you first.

Never was I allowed to leave,

without informing you first.

 

I got tired of this circus you made of me.

I got tired of the Jack-in-the-box you put me in.

Hell, I even got tired of the person inside me.

Snapping was inevitable.

 

The kitchen knife was cold.

And so was your lifeless body.

You now lay on my front door step.

With the door closed in front of you.

 

My bed is now reclaimed,

The monsters stay beneath.

Vanished.

I can’t see you.

 

And this is why i knock,

before entering any room.

 

I´m on a journey this year to get back to my summer skin.

Over the summer of 2018, I had the best skin that I think I have had since before teenage years. It was clear, hydrated, and glowing.

I was L I V I N G and proud of the skin I had.

Now, it´s not going too well.

My skin is hydrated for the most part sure, but I´m breaking out more often than ever, and this is not how I´m trying to live. I want to be able to go back to my summer skin, glowing and bright.

I figured out the culprit of it though: coconut oil.

On Pinterest you’ll see people raving about how this magic potion cured their skin, but beware, it’s dangerous. Sure, for some people coconut oil is amazing and won’t clog their pores, while also keeping their skin healthy and dewy, but for some, it will have adverse affects. For people with prone to clog pores, like me, coconut oil can break them out horribly, and also leave their skin with dry patches. Rip my skin.

So now I that I’ve figured once of the things that is causing my skin to act up, I can get a routine in order.

First I need to start off with general tips and tricks to getting my skin back in shape.

1. Drinking a ton of water.

I know that´s super basic, but it´s something that proved effective in past. I used to drink so much water during the day, and it really showed and aided in keeping my face dewy and nice. Now, well yikessss I should definitely be trading in millions of diet cokes I have a day, for more water bottles. I even used to add in lemon, to give my metabolism a good kick-start in the morning.

2. Eating Healthier

I´m currently Vegetarian, which is a step forward, but I still don´t have a ¨clean¨ diet. My goal by this time next year, is to have shifted to a completely Vegan diet. Eating less processed food, will apparently shift my skin into the right direction. While this is not the only reason I want to be Vegan, it´s a nice added bonus. I know that this huge change is going to be difficult, but new year new me.

3. Using Sunscreen

This is something I never ever do, but I really should start. Protecting your skin early is important so that you don´t wind up with sun damaged skin.

4. Developing a Routine

This last point leads me into the overall bulk of this post, which is having a solid skincare routine. Something I have always wanted to try, is the Korean 10-Step skincare routine. It´s exactly what it sounds like, which is a 10-step routine that apparently is supposed to help your skin live it´s best life. Here´s the routine and what each step is supposed to do for your skin.

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1. Oil-Based Cleanser

This step is for doing a base cleanse of the skin. Most people think this is only to remove makeup, but it also will draw anything “impure” to the skin’s surface, for the next step to take care of.

2. Water-Based Cleanser

This step is more of the face itself being cleaned. All those impurities that were previously brought to the surface level of the skin, are now being cleansed.

3. Exfoliator

This step should only be used a couple times a week, but it’s a vital step to have. Exfoliators will clean out pores and also remove dead skin cells that usually can clog up pores. You will notice your face becomes softer after doing this step.

4. Toner

Toner is a product most people, including myself, tend to forget about. Toners will balance the pH level of your skin, so that your skin will not become all dry and c r u s t y. Toner also comes before all of your moisturizing products, so that it can aid in them being properly used on the skin’s surface.

5. Essence

I’m not going to lie, I’ve never used an essence a day in my life, but I’m gonna start. Essences basically hydrate the skin, but most of the time also have anti-aging agents in them, to give your skin a nice, youthful glow.

6. Serum

Serums are made to specifically treat a certain skin concern you might have. Anything from targeting breakouts, to hydrating, to balancing skin tone. You name it, there is probably a serum for it. Me and my best friend used the same serum over the summer, and we both fell in love it. It’s what I credit a lot of my amazing summer skin to.

7. Skin Masks

These are like added bonuses to your face. It’s just extra hydration and nutrients that your skin will L O V E. And it’s super fun trying them all out.  Pro-tip, if you’re using a sheet mask, put it on before you put on your serum, wait half the amount of time it says to leave the mask on. Once half the time is up, lift up the mask and put on your serum. Lift it back down, let the mask finish, and voila! The mask helps the serum seep in even more with that technique! Or so the myth goes.

8. Eye Cream

I will also admit, I’ve never used an eye cream. I honestly thought they were for the elderly or for someone with really intense dark circles, which they kinda are? But everyone should use one. Eye creams help dark circles under the eye go away, along with puffiness, and helps prevent wrinkles. It’s also a extra hydration factor.

9. Moisturizer

Oh my god I feel like a lot of these steps are just giving moisture to the skin, but as Ms. Sibley says, “Trust the Process” and so I will. Moisturize is kind of the all day moisture that your skin needs, and will help lock in all the other steps for MEGA MOISTURE. This is the key for ultimate glowy skin.

10. SPF

As I mentioned, sunscreen is an often overlooked step, but it is super duper important. Your skin needs to protected from UV Rays that  could cause physical damage to your face’s appearance in the long wrong. A lot of skin care is prevention, so that your skin will be looking in tip top shape come your middle ages.

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And there we go! There is the ten step routine I’m going to try to follow. I’ll probably give an update on this come a couple of months, to give my own personal routine, and give an update on my skin. Maybe that impending blog post will keep me on my skin care game?

Anyone have any “holy-grail” skin care products?

I’ll be the first to admit it: I still sleep with stuffed animals. I have been since I was young. I would often wake up with one on the floor, which made me feel horrible for letting the poor little guy drop down while I wasn’t paying attention.

When I was young, I had a teddy bear that I got from my aunt for Valentine’s Day one year. I named him Teddy, like any sensible four year old would do. I often had him with me. Admittedly, I would even take him to the orthodontist with me until I was in seventh grade, because I just needed something to squeeze to take my mind off of the doctor that was adjusting the wires in my mouth.

I lost Teddy a few years ago. I have no idea where he is. He probably accidentally got placed in a storage box and put somewhere I’m bound not to look. I kinda miss him. But that’s beside the point.

These days, I sleep with two animals in particular. One of them was another gift from my parents: it was a soft stuffed owl that could almost act like a pillow because of how round he was. But he doesn’t really compare to my other stuffed animal.

The stuffed animal I sleep with the most often is a brown stuffed bear. No, it isn’t Teddy. This bear is larger than Teddy, and has more fluffy fur. I named the new bear Lil’ Muffin. Lil’ Muffin actually is very important to me, even though I didn’t even know about it until maybe two years ago.

I distinctly remember that we were cleaning my closet (becuase my closet is a monstrocity) and I was taking clothes down from the back shelf on the wall. As I reached up, I noticed something brown and furry on one of the shelves. I took it down and examined it.

I was holding a stuffed bear, brown and full of fluff. He smelled like a carpet. You know the smell. When I showed him to my mom, she gasped. I didn’t know why, but then she told me.

The bear I was holding was given to me by my birth mom. I had been adopted, something I already knew, but I didn’t know I had any mementos of my mom. But here I was, sixteen years after my birth, holding a bear from her that I didn’t even know I had.

Since then, I’ve slept with Lil’ Muffin almost every night. Not because of sentimental reasons, actually- it’s because I missed having something to squeeze while I slept. And Lil’ Muffin is the perfect size for squeezing.