Category: Book Reviews

About two months ago, I was on a hunt for a spiritual awakening! So, obviously I took to the social media to hunt for the best books that would teach me. I found a variety of books such as The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, The Untethered Soul by Michael A.  Singer. However, the book that caught my interest the most was The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. 

This book is  described as, “a practical guide to the fulfillment of your dreams.” I can tell you right now it is such more! Each chapter is a law that you need in order to live a life of success. However, to me they are more like golden keys that unlocks the door of growth. Even though the book only has seven chapters it is filled with so much knowledgeable information. So, instead of reviewing the entire book, every month I will review a new chapter and how I am applying it to my life. 

The first chapter is titled, The law of pure potentiality. Chopra explains, very thoroughly I may add, how humans are pure consciousness meaning we basically have endless possibilities. He dives into the Self which is our own spirit and our own experience. This is a key I learned: Our Self is absent of ego. Ego is overall the bad side of you. You know the one that is obsessed with attention and other people’s approval. We will never reach success if our ego consumes our soul.  Here are some quotes that I highlighted in this chapter: 

“When you discover your essential nature and know who you really are, in that knowing itself is the ability to fulfill any dream you have, because you are the eternal possibility, the immeasurable potential of all that was, is, and will be.”

“In object-referral we are always influenced by objects outside the Self, which include situations, circumstances, people, and things. In object-referral we are constantly seeking the approval of others. Our thinking and our behaviour are always in anticipation of a response. It is therefore fear-based.” 

This quote stuck with me deeply because I understood how pointless it is to be bothered by things that have nothing to do with me. Also, I realized I need to stop trying to control things. That is unnecessary stress upon my life. Control is just an illusion, it does not exist. 

“When we experience the power of the Self, there is an absence of fear, there is no compulsion to control, and no struggle for approval or external power.” 

“In self-referral, you experience your true being, which is unfearful of any challenge, has respect for all people, and feels beneath no one. Self-power is therefore true power.” 

This is so important to learn and to study! Self-power is the true power and ego-power is temporary. Money, a high status, rewards, and fame is all temporary. Why do strive to have those things when they are all disposable?

“Wherever you go in the midst of movement and activity, carry your stillness within you. Then the chaotic movement around you will never overshadow your access to the reservoir of creativity, the field of pure potentiality.” 

Carrying my stillness with me is something I have to practice to master. I often let my surroundings influence me when it becomes too much. But I feel like if I can carry my peace with me and let that influence me instead my life would be so much calmer. 

Each chapter has steps you could do in life to apply the seven laws of success. For this chapter it’s meditating twice a day. Sit in silence and observe the nature of living. Lastly, practicing non-judgement. “I will begin my day with the statement, ‘Today, I shall judge nothing that occurs.'”

To be honest I try to meditate at least once a week. I believe if I made time to meditate twice a day I will have a more peaceful life. However, I get distracted easily because there is not a peaceful place I can meditate at on campus. There I go again making unnecessary excuses. You make time for what you want! 

I may be slacking with meditation but I do sit in silence at least once a day. I recommend this to everyone. You experience things you would normal miss about nature. I do not have to always listen to music in fact I work better with no distractions. Mr. Chopra knew what he was writing when he suggested this step! 

Stating I will not judge anyone in the morning is a reminder that I am not perfect and in no place to judge anyone. It is very humbling experience to check myself before others. My friends always joke when we catch ourselves talking too much mess we say, “You in her business… don’t do that?” To me that is the same thing as reminding myself not to judge lol. 

This is a picture that I feel correlates the best to the law of pure potentiality. To me the woman in the bubble is in her own world which represents self-referral. The hand also represents self-power.  

The next chapter is titled the law of giving. Tune in next month for an update! 

Synopsis:

“Beautiful and brutally honest, Mary Lambert’s poetry is a beacon to anyone who’s ever been knocked down–and picked themselves up again. In verse that deals with sexual assault, mental illness, and body acceptance, Ms. Lambert’s Shame Is an Ocean I Swim Across emerges as an important new voice in poetry, providing strength and resilience even in the darkest of times” (Goodreads.com).

Tips for reading:

• Purchase the book
  • I recommend purchasing the physical book AND the audiobook. The audiobook is narrated by Lambert herself and accompanied by her classically-trained pianism, so the emotion and feeling exude from it. I also suggest purchasing a physical copy or the ebook, so you can follow along with the words as Lambert reads through it. 
• Tissues
  • Lambert is a self-proclaimed cryer and a crying advocate. She has often stated that her brand is crying, so it’s no surprise that her book is a real tear-jerker— it’s meant to be. 
• Sticky notes/bookmarks
  • Personally, I don’t like to mark in books, so I use sticky notes to flag important pages and jot down any thoughts. There are some pretty heavy themes in this book, so writing notes is highly suggested. 
• Grief Creature
  • In addition to poetry, Lambert is a singer-songwriter. Grief Creature is her most recent album; it was released one year after her poetry collection. Originally, it was set to have the same title, as it was intended to accompany the book, but Lambert later decided otherwise. However, the album and the book portray many of the same themes; in fact, a few of the songs on her album are lyrical adaptations of her poems. Therefore, to get the full experience, I strongly suggest listening to the album. 

Review:

I have probably read this book 20 times since I purchased it in the spring of 2019. With selections like, “I Wish Powerful Men Would Stop Being F*ing Terrible,” “Tips for Fat Girls,” “Rape Poem,” “The Art of Shame,” and “I Know Girls,” Lambert has crafted this work of art that is moving, evocative, and empathetic. It is a mirror, a diary, a poetic reflection of women who are queer, fat, neurodiverse, and are, not only, survivors but lovers, as well as the radical notion that you can be both.  

It is a book about healing, but it is also a book about feeling. Lambert, very beautifully, tells women that it is okay to feel shame, to feel sad, to feel broken, to feel numb, to feel any and everything, but to feel something. 

The book is comprised of 5 chapters, but the first one is my favorite.

O N E

my body is terrifying,

idaho is a giant sh*thole,

and other wholesome stories.

This chapter includes selections about body acceptance, sexual assault, trauma, and vulnerability. The collection begins with a piece entitled:

How I Learned to Love

When I was fifteen, I hated everything except for Weezer
and maybe like two people. And cereal.
One time a boy grabbed me in the music room
and kissed my neck in front of everybody.
I did not want to be kissed, but I thought I was supposed
to want to be kissed. I did not know what to do.
And so I laughed.
I knew you were supposed to laugh after things like that
The world had taught me to dress up my trauma
in short skirts and secret bathroom crying,
to protect the fragility of boys at all costs

When I was five, my father molested me
you become a strange human that way
You cannot whip yourself awake as a child
I should have been born a bird

When I turned six,
I stopped talking.

When I was twenty-five and my name was on the radio,
I asked people to write poems and send them to me
Maybe because I was starved of honest humanity
Half of the poems were about slit wrists

I do not want to know any more
about this brand of humanity.
All I know of love is hunger.

When I met you,
I planted my heart into the heavy
earth. I was scared,
But you smiled back.
Thank God I was not born a bird.

*my favorite lines are bolded

I remember the first time, I heard this poem. I had never heard anything like it, and it was absurd, but also, so beautiful. I didn’t know what to think or how to feel, but I remember the feeling of awe at how simplistic, yet raw this poem was written. I could feel the vulnerability seep from Lambert’s words— it enticed me, and I wanted to read more and more. I flipped through the pages hungrily, eating all of the words being fed to me, like they were my last meal. Lambert has this way of making you appreciate the morbidity and the authenticity of life. I shuddered at her words because I knew what they meant. It was like she could see inside my soul, and oh, what power writers and literary artists have to bestow this gift.

My second selection from this chapter is entitled:

The Art of Shame

My mother found a rabid dog
And wanted to hug it
Wanted to give it all her glorious honeylove
Wanted to bathe her children in a two-parent household
But, the dog didn’t want kids
The dog would scream it in the hallway at four A.M
Reminding us as often as possible
The sheer art of it
How the monster could panic into my body
Sometimes I still hear it in the chambers of my heart
The way some glorious paintings stay with you

I am a museum
I must be a museum

When I was seven, the dog told me I was going to be a slut
No one came over to our house to play
The dog made me write, “I will flush the bathroom toilet” seventy-five times
I would’ve remembered to flush the toilet
But, I started blacking out around then
Forgetting basic things
Started praying that Oprah would save us all
I took snapshots with my memory camera
Hoping there would be justice for this kind of psycho warfare
The teachers at the daycare offered apology eyes and extra sequins
For the art project
The day after, the dog chased me around each room
Because I forgot where my other shoe was

When you are a child
And your mind is panicked like a fire alarm at all times
You lose the ability to remember simple things
I haven’t lost a personal item in months
Do not laugh when I say, ‘This is a victory’
Shame is an ocean I swim across
Sometimes, I call it drowning
Sometimes, I call it Moses
Sometimes, I say, “Good morning!” and sway to its murky durge
Sometimes, I win and cut off its crest with a pink machete
Sometimes, I want to f*ck it and
Marry it and kill it all at the same time
Sometimes, I spend my whole day apologizing on shame’s behalf
Sometimes, I think it must be an art form to feel this bad
Sometimes, I outrun all of its psycho history
Other times, I repeat the language from my childmouth
While beating my head against a wall
But all the time, I am forgiven

*my favorite lines are bolded

This is one of those poems that Lambert also included on her album. On the album, it is entitled “Me, Museum“. I strongly recommend listening to the spoken word version to fully experience its glory. This poem is one of my absolute favorite pieces by Lambert, next to “Tips for Fat Girls” and “Margaritas”. It is so powerful and beautifully written. It amazes me how Lambert told this entire story in such a poetic form. Many of her works do this, and it is one of my favorite aspects of her writing. It almost feels like prose, but somehow, still feels exactly like poetry, and I think that’s a unique style of writing. 

As much as I’d like to include all of my favorites from this collection, I simply cannot, but I do encourage you to purchase this book and experience the greatness yourself. I will, however, include some other examples of Lambert’s work below:

This was my very first literary review, so be gentle. How’d I do? Tell me your thoughts! Also, if you choose to read/listen to this selection, please let me know, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. 

See you next week for a life update… 

when the world didn’t end by Caroline Kaufman is a poetic book full of deep thoughts the break and then mend your heart. When I got this book, I was drawn in by the title. It told me that the poems inside would somehow tell a story about healing. We all know the pain that feels like everything is over, the moment I read the title, I knew this was going to put that pain into words and go beyond. The poetry is a journey toward strength and acceptance of one’s self and past.

The book is separated into three parts: what was, what could have been, and what became. The author chooses not to use capitalization in most of her titles; I find this interesting, as I could not quite find the reasoning behind this choice, but I also found it satisfying to look at. It also made all the problems she wrote about seem small in a way. I was fully aware of the seriousness of the content, but perhaps the point was that all problems are small once you get passed them.

what was

This part of the book was the capturing of suffering. She discusses rape, heartbreak, depression, self-harm, coming of age, the struggle with sexuality, body dysmorphia, insecurities, peer-pressure, and how you lose yourself in the midst of all these things. Below are some of my favorite quotes from this section of the book.

“Survival was the only outcome we weren’t prepared for.”

“The universe is infinite, and still, I occupy too much of it.”

“I made a career out of never letting go.”

“You’re getting good at remembering to say just kidding at the end of every self-deprecating joke.”

what could have been

This portion of the book is more of the “what if’s” thoughts. What if that person had loved me back? What if I was never depressed? What if I was smarter? What if I chose better people to surround myself with? What if I never read poetry? What if I never became a writer? What if?

“How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?”

“Maybe I will not focus on the complicated at all.”

“You are not a gentle tune. You are not a lullaby no matter how many times I fall asleep thinking of you.”

“When I tell you I am passionate, I mean that I am suffering.”

what became

The last part of the book is all about healing. This captures the soul of accepting that you can’t change the cards you’ve been dealt, but you can embrace them. You can turn them into something beautiful, and you can grow from them. The story doesn’t end with your pain.

“Sometimes I’ve found that loss can be a synonym for growth.”

“It is hard to forgive without an apology, but I am trying to do it anyway. Not because you deserve the forgiveness, but because I deserve to move on.”

“I am not the house cat- I am the lioness. And If you try to cross me? I will not hesitate to bite you back.”

“Is this longing for the childhood I can never get back? Or is this hope for the person I will become?”

Kaufman captured her journey in a painfully beautiful and relatable way. I would love to ask her questions about her easily appreciated unique formatting. Her strange and whimsical ideas to depict emotions and carry out her story are far-fetched and heart-wrenching at the same time. I deeply recommend her work to any modern poetry lover.

Last Poem:

“every minute I have on this earth

is borrowed time.

I fought for it,

almost died for it,

and won it back.

I deserve to spend it

doing what I love.

I deserve to spend it

with the people I love.

and most of all,

I deserve to spend it

loving myself.”

Yes, you do Caroline Kaufman. In fact, we all do.

I just got done reading this book, and I’d be lying if I said it was any different than amazing. I’ve always loved poetry books, but I believe this one is my new favorite. It had versatility to the point where I believe absolutely anyone could relate to at least one of the poems.

The Universe of Us, written by Lang Leav is a book filled with poetry of all different tones. Some of them are sad, happy, and even angry.

One of my favorite poems was A Premonition on page 117.

It reads, “There are some people who you look at, and you can just tell how their story will end. I don’t know what it is; they have everything going for them, yet it will never be enough. But when I look at you, I just know instinctively, that despite the odds against you and although life will always find a way to test you, someday you’ll have everything you want. Your ending will be a happy one.”

This piece in particular really resonated with me due to the fact that I could relate to it heavily. Throughout my own life, I have had so many doors blocking my path, and to get through them, I had to figure a few things out and be smart about it. This piece was very motivational, and when I read it, it seemed as though I was meant to read it right then.

Another piece that stood out to me was Her Time on page 63.

It read, “She has been feeling it for awhile–that sense of awakening. There is a gentle rage simmering inside her, and it is getting stronger by the day. She will hold it close to her– she will nurture it and let it grow. She won’t let anyone take it away from her. It is rocket fuel and finally, she is going places. She can feel it down to her very core– this is her time. She will not only climb mountains–she will move them too.”

First, I’d like to point out Lang’s use of hyphens. It’s very interesting how and where she placed them. She only used them in sentences that started with “She has,” “She can,” or “She will.” She uses them when the character is doing something. Lang follows the dash with a clarification of the statement before it. It almost gives off a “cause and effect” sense. Overall, I loved her use of the hyphens, and I believe it really added to the overall tone of the piece.

Today, on page 25, I have to say, is my favorite within the entire collection.

It reads, “Today I am not in my skin. My body cannot contain me. I am spilling out and over, like a rogue wave on the shore. Today I can’t keep myself from feeling like I don’t have a friend in the world. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to pick myself up off the floor. My demons are lying in wait, they are grinning in the shadows, their polished fangs glinting, knowing today, it will be an easy kill. But tomorrow, tomorrow could be different, and that is what keeps me going today.”

This piece reminds me of the feeling of hope. Within the text you see someone speaking from the first person. They are explaining their physical struggles in a moment of despair, and how they feel as though they can’t continue. But, the last sentence, and it’s my favorite, reads, “But tomorrow, tomorrow could be different, and that is what keeps me going today.” This entire sentence is a sentence of hope. Even though the character is surrounded by disaster, they are continuing because they have hope that tomorrow is a better day.

The Universe of Us by Lang Leav is overall an amazing and inspiring collection of literary pieces. I encourage anyone looking for a good book to read right before you go to bed, to check this one out. You won’t regret it, and you will most definitely be enlightened by a multitude of motivation and inspiration.

As you all may know by now, I love October. It’s an amazing month to me because the temperature goes down, the leaves change from green to golds and reds, and Halloween is right around the corner. Halloween is, by far, my favorite holiday. Christmas and Thanksgiving are awesome in their own ways, but they aren’t on the same level as Halloween. You can dress up as anything you’d like, so if there’s a dream you never got to fulfill, for just one night out of the year, you can live out that fantasy. Kids get to run around and go to strangers’ homes to get free candy, and adults, ranging from 20 to 40, are most likely at a friend’s house or a club drinking the night away. October and Halloween are a time for horror and things that go bump in the night, which brings me to the topic of this post: “The Adventure of the German Student” by Washington Irving. I thought it would be more appropriate to review a ghost/scary story for this spook-takular part of the year.

“The Adventure of the German Student” is about a young man named Gottfried Wolfgang who is likely suffering from depression, and his friends send him to Paris during the French Revolution. Not really the greatest time or place for a person who has a “melancholy temperament” to be, but kudos to his friends for trying to help. To be quite honest, the story really isn’t scary. In fact, it doesn’t even border on creepy – the baby version of scary. It’s more like a funny ghost story. I don’t know what was Irving’s purpose in creating the story, but I still enjoyed it in some way. While I didn’t like how Wolfgang’s story ended, I like the actual end of the work. It kind of left me with the questions: Who the man was talking to? and Who was the narrator of the story?

I think Irving’s “The Adventure of the German Student” is a perfect story to tell to kids because it’s not meant to be scary in my opinion. It’s given a dark history and backdrop, but when you actually get into the story, the atmosphere lightens up. Wolfgang has become so melancholic that he’s become fascinated by this strange beauty that haunts his dreams, and suddenly he meets her. Absolutely nothing about would scare a child unless they were still in that stage where they think girls or guys are icky. But besides that, it’s perfect to read to a group of kids around a little fire while they roast marshmallows and make smores. As an official rating, I give the story five jack o’lanterns out of five jack o’lanterns for children, and one rotten jack o’lantern out of five jack o’lanterns for anyone else who decides to read it. I do encourage you to read it though to find out what happens to Gottfried and his mysterious beauty!

When I first heard that one of my favorite authors, Marissa Meyer, was writing a new series based on superheroes, I was enthralled to learn about what her book would do to the superhero scene. And when it finally came out, I was practically enthralled to get my hands on the first copy that I could. And as soon as I dived in, I knew that she had once again created a masterpiece.

“Renegades” is a book about a girl named Nova, who has been raised by a group of villains who all have extraordinary powers. Years ago, prodigies ruled the earth, and their powers led to a massive power shift- all of the strongest prodigies overthrew the government and began to rule the population. Years later, a group of prodigies rose up to overthrow this power structure; they killed the man in charge and began to rebuild society. The villains, including Nova, have a loathing for the hero prodigies, because they left the world without a main power structure and the normal people of society depended on them for everything that they needed. The villains create a plan to place Nova into the group of prodigies as a spy, working to usurp their power structure from the inside out.

Nova joins a smaller division of superheroes who work under the main governing heroes. The main heroes are Sketch, aka Adrian Everhart, who is the adopted sons of the two most powerful superheroes in the city, with his powers allowing him to bring life to whatever he draws; Smokescreen, aka Oscar Silva, who is able to keep up with the rest of the team even though he is slightly crippled in his leg; and Red Assassin, aka Ruby Tucker, a girl who bleeds rubies and can create her own weapons out of them. She takes up the persona under Insomnia, because her powers allow her to stay awake for hours on end with no side effects; she does keep secret the fact that she can channel her powers to make whoever is touching her fall to sleep, a power she uses under her villainous persona of Nightmare.

There are several things within the novel that I found very intriguing and interesting. First, I was very pleased to hear that two of the more important heroes in the book are in a homosexual relationship. I was extremely happy when I discovered the relationship between the two and how it was treated. They’ve even adopted the child of one of the deceased members of the original superhero team. I was also extremely glad that homophobia wasn’t a main plot point or an antagonistic force- no one treats them any differently than anyone else. This sort of treatment is very refreshing within the literary sphere, and it was definitely something that strengthened the overall story and made it feel more believable.

Secondly, while reading, I was afraid that this book would take to the tropes that many works of fiction would take: that she would fall in love with one of the main heroes and become reformed to the good side. But (as far as the first book is concerned) this doesn’t seem to be the case. Nova continues to work for the villains, and never seems to forget the goal that she has. She appreciates the team, of course, but she doesn’t particularly care if they are hurt while she is acting out a more villainous role. I appreciate that Meyer didn’t take the stereotypical route with Nova’s story arch; if anything, her time with the heroes push her further to work against them.

Third, I very much enjoy how Adrian uses his powers. Because his drawings come to life, he decides to try something new: he gives himself tattoos that give him extra powers. His intentions matter when he creates the tattoos, and thus he is able to give himself new abilities. For instance, he has created tattoos that give him armor from his own body, springs on his feet for extra jumping strength. and the power to summon fire from his hands. He keeps all of these abilities secret from everyone, and begins to go on missions on his own.

This is another thing that impressed me: the superheroes didn’t always stick to the status quo. There are many times when the smaller teams of heroes who decide to do things their own way. Many of the heroes constantly harass the villains, or go against direct orders, especially Adrain when he begins to give himself his own powers. I find this concept intriguing, and it gives more depth to the overall story.

Right now, two of the three books in the trilogy are out on the market, with the third already taking pre-orders and is expected to come out in November. I still need to read the second book, but if anything can be taken out of this, I am extremely excited to read the second book to be ready for the third and final installment.

How do I even begin this blog? I’ve been reading this book for about a week and I finished it to day. I nearly fainted at the end over how good it was. I have this habit of reading unnaturally fast when the climax is happening, and this entire book is one giant climax. I couldn’t take my eyes off the page.

It begins with people disappearing (hence the title) and all that is left is kids the age fourteen and younger. There is a dome over their entire town, as if they had been shoved into an egg. They spend the entire novel trying to figure out why, but also while fighting other problems.

So as the story progresses, the reader begins to realize that there are mutations happening not only in animals but in humans. The reason for this is that they live next to a radioactivity research plant that fifteen years prior had blown up and radiation had seeped into the earth. The officials of the town had tried to cover up what had happened and never did a major clean up.

Anyways, these kids are left here. It is absolute chaos. No one knows where to go or what to do or who is in charge. Everyone begins to look towards the main character Sam for answers. He had been a part of the mutations, that at this point in the story no one knew about. He could control concentrated light so powerful it can burn holes through thick concrete.

Kids from the private school, Coates, begin to come down to Perido Beach. The explain to the kids there that they have begun to run out of food and think they should all work together. Caine is the leader of them all. At first all is well, until Caine takes over. He has the power to move matter. He has mastered his ability, unlike Sam, who can only use it when he is afraid.

Caine begins his all powerful reign. It isn’t until a young girl named Bette is killed by a bully that Caine commanded to beat people that Sam decides he needs to step up an do something.

Sam and his group of misfits leave Perido Beach while running from Caine and his goons. They meet a girl in the dessert  who has the ability to heal people with just the touch of her hands. She comes in handy after this encounter, however, she brings trouble with her. Coyotes have mutates and are after her. The Pack Leader has the ability to make words aloud, but I wouldn’t say he can talk. He can croak broken sentences. He says that the healer must teach him. The Darkness told him to.

The plot thickens after recieving word about “The Darkness.” who is that? Are they the reason they are here? I’m not sure because it isn’t answered in this first book.

Anyways, as it turns out Caine and Sam were twin brothers, which is why they are both so powerful. We still don’t know who their father is, but I imagine that will become a bif part of the story. Sam defeats Caine, but lets him live for SOME reason. They defeated the big “poof” which is what they call it when your fifteenth birthday occurs and you disappear. A person from your past appears to you and tries to take you away wilingly, but it turns out that it isn’t a person at all, but it is the darkness. The book ends with Caine seeking out the darkness. So, maybe after this next book I will figure it out and be able to let you guys know what that is

SPOILERS AHEAD.

Where Things Come Back by John Corey Whaley has so far been one of the strangest books I have ever read. Cullen Witter, a boy from small town Lily, Alabama begins telling this story by identifying his cousin’s dead body. Goes home, barely mourns, talks about how dumb his cousin was, and sleeps next to his little brother, Grabriel, who he admires for being able to be himself when Cullen remains awkward and self-deprecating.

His best friend, Lucas Cader is the total opposite. He is charming and popular. Everyone likes him and knows him. The reason Lucas is friends with Cullen is, in his words, “because they just are.” They are a very strange pair, and since Lucas’s older brother died in a car accident, he is very attached to Gabriel as well and kind of resides as another older, more protective brother for him.

There is also Ada Taylor, who is a Black Widow. Both of her boyfriends has died, and in the beginning she’s dating the bully, jock guy who she later leaves. Right after she leaves, he is an accident that leaves him paralyzed. Still, Cullen is “in love” with her. Weird.

So basically, a dude comes to Lily and see’s this woodpecker that is supposed to be extinct, and then the whole town goes crazy. It’s discussed that this is the first exciting thing to happen in the town in ages and it’s a symbol of hope. It almost becomes an obsession for everyone. Then, out of no where, Gabriel disappears. Reports go out, the family is falling apart. Lucas borderline starts losing his mind. A fifteen year old boy just disappears out of thin air. Cullen convinces himself that he’s dead. It’s a whole mess, but I notice that Cullen disassociates a lot. When something big is happening, like a spirit guide making them dig 10-feet under ground because she is convinced that Gabriel is dead and is buried in this certain spot, he begins to imagine the spirit guide performing a ritual that makes his brother appear covered in mud and blood. Or imagines bullies as zombies and him as a slayer or something. He is very… Creative.

Cullen has also went from messing around with a 19 year old who is in the middle of a divorce, and then she breaks up with her because it gets too serious (Dudes). All the while Lucas is in a very committed long-term relationship with this girl named Molly.

Then guess what, Ada Taylor and Cullen get together! Woah. Who saw that coming? okay literally, that was the only part in this book so far that was predictable, and that’s okay because everything else still has me puzzled.

At this point, I’m a little over half way done, but I have no clue what to expect next. It’s all so strange, and it carries this erry nostalgic anxiety to it. I really hope they find out what happened to Gabriel. I also want to know what is up with this woodpecker, is it real? Did that dude just claim to see it for fame? Is Cullen going to die now that he has bee with The Ada Taylor? I don’t know, but the author has me stumped and pumped to see where this goes.