Category: Junior Literary

My fingertips graze down his arm leisurely, and I can feel the hairs on his arm stand to attention,almost as if a Sargent has called each of their individual names. His eyes remain closed, but I can see the movement beneath his eyelids. His breathing is smooth, and as I move my hand over his chest, I can feel the gentle current beneath my fingers. He is so beautiful, skin sprayed with milk chocolate freckles, the same color of his eyes, and that German split in the cartilage on the tip of his nose is so mesmerizing to me. I love his lips; those full, soft pink pillows lure me to him, and the voice that dribbles from them is so entrancing. He can calm the waves that are my feelings with just his universe-given sound. The strong nectarous words he whispers to me late at night over the phone are the endearments I need when I can no longer function.

His arms twitch unexpectedly before I realize that they are wrapped around me loosely. It that daze of his addictive warmth I feel my mind reaching serenity, and I exhale in length. He nuzzles his nose into my hair and does the opposite of me, breathing in the scent of pina-colada shampoo. “Beautiful,” he whispers in his half-asleep murmur. Now it is my hair’s turn to stand to attention. My heart almost vibrates with love for my inamorato as I lean up and press my lips to his slightly parted ones. I sense his attempt to smile amidst his sleep fog, but he is rendered unsuccessful and unconscious. I do not complain though. Observing his usually pinched features relaxed in a basic comatose from exhaustion is such a pure picture. His warm, shallow breaths fanning my face and his quiet snores are tranquilizing. Calloused fingers stroke the small of my back, and dark brown tendrils fall into his shut eyes.

He is my living piece of textured art, painted with delicate strokes and built to a rough sculpted design. Every pale color that encompasses his flesh, every angle that constructs the shape of him, and every dimension that makes him real is so deeply admired by me. We curl into each other, wrapped in the other’s arm. In our tangled-up true, innocent state. I find myself dozing away, melting into his warmth. My fair-skinned love. My pastel masterpiece.

relatable.

Wow, it’s been feeling like a bad Monday for the past week, honestly. My mood has been swinging left and right, which ultimately causes me to have a headache that has yet to go away. I’m sleep deprived, HORRIBLY. I get about five hours of sleep at most, a night. This may not be critical to some people, but for me, I’m used to sleeping a total of seven or eight hours a night. It may be because we get out of school at five now instead of 3:30 pm. This causes fewer hours in the day, and more homework (my favorite combination). It’s not that I choose to stay up or anything, it’s really either homework, or my mind just won’t go to bed. I’ll lay there for hours just thinking about sweet nothings. I stress about the things I’ve yet to accomplish, the things that I was supposed to accomplish but have slipped my mind and upcoming dates that I can’t forget about. I’m out of sleeping pills, too (*reminder* get sleeping pills).

I really need to get my life together. I had it together until I didn’t. Everything was put in its place until last Tuesday when I stubbed my toe on the corner of my bed. From there, everything just went downhill. However, I’m the type to always rise up when I fall (or in my case, stub a toe). I just need to meditate or something.

I decided to put together a Pinterest wall to help me get my life together. Feel free to visit it if you can relate to whatever mess this is. It’s called “self-help,” and it’s got some really good tips in it.

I think I may just have a spa day. FYI: a spa day is a great way to just chill out and relieve stress. Just putting that out there. I could organize all of my stuff. I have a planner, but I’ve been neglecting her lately (my bad). Coffee could help you focus. I know it helps me focus.

I just need to take a chill pill (not literally). I don’t know. I just need to get used to it and find a schedule that works for me. That’s what my mom said. I just need to lock myself in my room for the next few days and get stuff done. Maybe relax a little, play some good music, and get the stack of Algebra 2 packets I have yet to complete done (the people in my class will know what I mean). I just need to get my life together.

I’ll start tomorrow.

Alright this is a review on The Fright’s new album Hypochondriac. (it’s great, just saying) you could read my overviews and opinions, or you could go listen to it or you could ignore this completely, up to you  

1. Tell Me Why I’m Okay: this song honestly may be triggering to some people. There is a lot of background sounds in this song that will bring images in your head. This song is very much about depression and paranoia. It is a good song though, if you can handle it.
2. CRUTCH: I love this song. It actually came out as a single before the album ever came out. Warning, it does have some screams and heavy guitar in it. This song is about the things he depends on to keep going, and he communicates that he wishes he didn’t have this crutch to lean on so that he could just be an independent person
3. Broken Brain:  The message of this song is about either a significant other or a friend who is saving him from himself. He says that he will be alright as long as he stays with this person, but it will take time to save him. This is about him being so weak then being able to come out and say all these things he wasn’t brave enough to do before. One line in the song says “I got tired of saying that I am fine.” which indicates that he did reach a point where he was honest. Great song.
4. Whatever: This is one of my top three on this album. It’s honestly so relatable. It is basically about his ex girlfriend and how he misses her, but he knows she isn’t what he needs because she hurts him. It is called ‘Whatever’ because he is giving up on trying with her. This song also references songs from their previous album that were about her. It even outright says her name in this song: Sara. Which, I am nearly 100 percent sure most of these songs are about her. This song has a lot of details in it as well, like how he is still messed up from when she said she didn’t love him thirty minutes before he had to go on stage and sing songs dedicated to her.
5. Over It: another one of my favorites for sure. This is another song about his ex, but in this she is trying to come back to him after she broke his heart. my favorite line in this is, “I don’t need to say what I said before, you never listen to me anyway, my voice is sore.” He also says he is still hurting even though he doesn’t want to, and he can’t take her back because she destroyed him and he can’t go through that again.
6. Me and We and I : this song is about self love. When it begins, he is telling a story about how he shaved his head because he was scared he was losing his hair and he didn’t want anyone to know. He talks about how he shouldn’t be so scared of what everyone will say, as long as he has got himself and the people who love him, he doesn’t need anyone else.
7. Goodbyes : Another in my top three because it is so ridiculously catchy and so sweet. This song is about how he finds another girl after he thought he had given up on love. (I’m guessing this song was written AFTER all the songs about his ex)He talks about how afraid he is to lose her because she has made him so happy. In the chorus he talks about how pathetic he is and how perfect she is. I love this song, someone please write a song like this for me lol.
8. Pills:  The sound starts off asking questions that are actually meant for himself. In the chorus, he comes out and says that he knows he is a lot to handle. He says “call me crazy, call me selfish, but I will carry these pills till the day I die. I will lose you, I might lose my mind, but I will carry these pills until the day I die.” so yeah, this song is about addiction and filling the voids in his life with these pills. He talks about how the need for it gets stronger at night. It is a good song, but you have to really listen to it to get the message.
9. No Place Like (Not Being) Home:  This song is actually really funny. I kind of see the beginning of this as him coming home from being on the road, and he feels like he never left, but then he gets to the chorus. He is counting road signs he doesn’t want to pass and he starts drinking because he is getting closer to home. He is saying he needs space and to be left alone. The message here is pretty clear, because well, it’s in the title. This song is about how he prefers traveling on the road with hardly any money than being home. This song has a really beachy tone to it and it really puts me in a great mood. Give it a listen.
10. Hold Me Down:  This song seems very personal and raw and I absolutely love that about it. It talks about how he has tried everything there is for him to try, and nothing is working so he has to stop because he is “tired of making out and never making up.” It’s about more than just this break up though, it is about all the things he went through with her, and he seems to be sort of thankful for it because he talks about how we have to make mistakes to live. He talks about how she always answers his calls, is there for him, and how with her he never felt so dumb and so cool. Despite all of the bad, he still sees her as his favorite part of himself. He says that he has lost so many friends, but he would do it all over again if it meant she would be with him again.
11. Alone:  This song is about how a girl is leaving him and he wishes he could leave too. He talks about how he thought he would scare her away but he didn’t. He says nowt that he is alone again,  now he is drunk and cold again. This song mentions a different name: ‘Kaylie’. But, neither one of the names mentioned could actually be the name of either of the girls this album is ,for the most part, centered around. Writers code names all the time. He says he never thought he would lose that friend, but he did. I really hope this song isn’t about the same girl “Goodbyes” is about because I love that song and it gave me hope so… Anyways, it goes on to talk about being in her apartment, seeing a gift that was his, and he realizes it never did belong to him, just as his heart had never belonged to him, and she has taken it all away. They share their last kiss before he leaves, but he says it didn’t feel the same. Then, surprisingly, she says “don’t change the words to this.” which was her saying she knew he was going to write a song about this and she didn’t want her words to be changed in the song, so he put her actual words in the song. I found that funny, but yeah this is a pretty great song, super personal.

---

BONUS SONGS FROM PREVIOUS ALBUMS: ‘She Makes Me’, ‘Tungs’, ‘You Are Going To Hate This’ and ‘Of Age’  (also great songs by The Frights)

---

 

I love musicals. Absolutely adore them all. Hamilton, Be More Chill, Heathers, Les Miserables- that’s just some of the many that I love.

Recently, while browsing my social media, I came across a video of a song that was about writing. The song was called “Hard to Be the Bard,” and let me tell you, the song spoke to my soul. It was about a writer struggling to write, and I identified strongly with it.

After doing a little more research, I found out that the song was from a musical called “Something Rotten!” The musical was set in the Renaissance and focused around a character named Nick Bottom, who is a struggling playwright. He has an immense hatred for Shakespeare’s success, and wishes he could be as successful as him. He goes to a soothesayer, and the man tells him that the biggest hits in the future are musicals. So, Nick goes out to write the first ever musical.

The songs in this musical have a certain… vibe to them. I don’t exactly know how to describe it. All the songs contain clever wit and metaphors that are easy to understand but will make you laugh out loud every time. My favorite song is still the first one I listened to, “Hard to be the Bard.” The song is sung by the man himself, William Shakespeare, where he complains and bemoans the struggles of being a famous writer. Honestly, I think this song is a whole literary mood. 

“So you write a new word, but it’s not the right word, so you try a new word, but you hate the new word, and you need a new word, but you can’t find the word, oh where is it what is it what is it where is it whatisitwhakdkjdk-” (the last bit indicates a mental breakdown).

I find that the more I listen to it, the more references to other musicals I can find within the songs. The most referenced musical seems to be “The Music Man,” which I am very happy about since it doesn’t seem like TMM is very popular within the musical scene. I can also hear references to “Les Miserables,” “Annie,” and a slight nod to “Dear Evan Hanson.” I enjoy the little nods the play gives to its predecessors. I also enjoy the part where Nick and William have a tap dancing fight while they argue between each other on who is the better writer. 

If you would like to find a new musical to listen to, I highly recommend this one, especially if you want one that breaks from the norm in the best way possible- by poking fun at other plays that take themselves way too seriously. 

 

Terrell has always had big dreams of becoming a well-respected artist in the music industry. This dream began when he was only four years old. He and his mother Phylicia would travel along the highways as she would play music from artists such as: Musiq Soulchild, Jill Scott, Prince, and Anita Baker. But there was always this one pronounced voice that stuck out to him. It was Fantasia Barrino. Though Terrell was so young, he instantly fell in love with the vocalist. He had learned mostly everything about her. As he got older, he aspired to be more like her. Once he reached the age of seven, and fully understood the struggles she had endured to reach that level of success, he made the decision that he wanted to be a professional singer. He admired her and felt if she could make it, he could do the same.

So, he went to his music teacher and expressed to her his feelings about wanting to sing. Coincidently, there was a back to school event coming up and he, along with one of his classmates, sang. To his delight, everyone enjoyed his performance. From that day in 2009, he practiced singing every day. He hoped to make his vocal abilities the best he could. Terrell sang day in and day out, imagining himself on a stage performing in front of millions of people. But one day in 2013, he was a part of the school choir Mouth Pieces. Because he was one of the best altos, he was asked to sing along side some of his classmates at the black history program. Performance day came, and he did well again.

As Terrell got older, he began to encounter some things in life. At times, he felt as if there was no one to turn to, which essentially led to him writing his feelings down. The feelings turned into poetry which turned into songs. Not only did this stimulate his mind, but it provided him with an outlet to express himself emotionally. He even went so far as to sing some of his own works. He took music even more seriously now. Then his dream changed to become a professional singer and song-writer.

Now, Terrell has evolved into a well-rounded young man. There are still a few aspects of his life that need working out, but for the most part he is growing positively at a steady pace. He gets booked to sing at different venues and has composed a lot of musical and literary works. He works every day to become a better singer and writer. He has become an amazing artist and is on a journey to continue a long career as a well-respected artist.

Imagine this, you’re on a train, moving to a new town. Sitting across you is a cat, just as big as you, asking you about your personality traits and blood type.

You answer what you can, and the train pulls to a stop. upon getting out of your cart, you can see a swarm of various animals. They all run up to you and declare you mayor of the town. you now have power you didnt ask for.

you may think this sounds crazy, and youd be right. However, this is the opening scene to Animal Crossing: New leaf

so why do i believe animal crossing is better than real life?

In the game, you can make money off of nearly anything. You can dig up a whole dinosaur and sell it at the thrift store. you can hit a rock with a shovel and money bags will appear. Heck, you can shake a tree and get chased by bees. sometimes you get good luck and get money instead of bees, though.

The game also has a variety of shopping places for your character to visit. While real life has that as well, it is much better organized in animal crossing. In real life, you can expect to walk down main street, and pass 5 law offices before you get to a shop. In animal crossing, main street looks like this.

As you can see, these people are much more organized. all clothing and shops are grouped together, activities are grouped together, and home/mail are grouped together. the museum is separated from all of them. this is beneficial, as it gives more space for the museum. in my old town, Pontotoc, the museum is IN the post office.

Animal crossing is also helpful for those that struggle with different issues. it is a calming environment. take this post by Catnippackets on Tumblr

“Animal Crossing will always be the most wholesome game to me. Once I was up super late at night unable to sleep because i felt really sick and I was playing pocket camp while I tried to feel better and fall asleep. I went down to the beach and found Apollo by the water, and he said ‘can’t sleep? You wanna sit and listen to the waves with me?’ and I almost cried.”

Now, that’s a stress relieving activity. In real life, going down to the beach late at night would mean getting pinched by crabs, and possibly running into dangerous situations. Animal crossing provides you tranquility from the comfort of your own home.

Finally, Animal crossing gives you more information on learning to pay for your house than an economics class. They use a currency called bells. In the game, just like in real life, you have to pay for upgrades on your house. By saving bells and paying your loan, you are able to get experience for when you actually have to do that for real.

For a kids game, i’d say you can get a lot out of it.

There’s a lot that’s been on my mind lately. Honestly, too much has been on my mind lately but I’ve just been thinking about life in general and I pretty much have an odd visualization of it. To me, it’s like a polaroid camera constantly spewing out tiny little pictures that represent our memory. Now it’s weird because it’s like how in the world is a polaroid like memories? Well, when you take a picture with a polaroid camera, you don’t know what the picture’s going to look like. You can’t see how it turns out until it fully develops, you just take it in that moment. That’s exactly how I feel like the future is. You’re constantly living life, taking ‘polaroid pictures’ of what you’re experiencing or whatever’s happening in order to form a memory. 

There are moments where the pictures don’t turn out so great, whether it be bad timing or lighting or something that causes conflict. That’s exactly how it is with our lives. There are times in our lives where there’s conflict, lack of satisfaction, or just general unhappiness and there are times where you shove that memory in a trash basket, or you just put it in the back of a scrapbook anyways because mistakes/bad things happen but you learn from it. Maybe you’ll capture it at a different angle. Maybe you’ll change the lighting a little bit. But in that instant, whatever you decide to capture, you cannot go back and change it. Once it has happened, there is no reversing it, just like our actions in life. 

Those blank polaroid pictures eventually turn into lifelong memories and just like the pictures, you may just forget about them or randomly think about them while you’re in the middle of class or work actually trying to be productive. Basically, what I’m getting at here is that there is so much unpredictability in life and the future is just like the blank film. You don’t know what’s going to happen or what moments you’ll be in when you use them, it just happens. And although the photos become blurry sometimes or they’re a little too dark and you feel like it was a waste of film, it truly isn’t because in reality, you more than likely will figure out what you did wrong and fix it so that the next picture is beautiful.

It’s getting close to that time! The time of cooler air, crunchy leaves, and spoopy decorations. That’s right! It’s almost time for fall! Fall is my favorite time of the year, and October is my favorite month of the year. I wish all year could be fall honestly. It would be the perfect temperature, it’d be gorgeous year-round, and it’s just my aesthetic. I’m not a pumpkin spice girl, but the smell is nice at times. Until it becomes overbearing, then it just makes me nauseous. I’ll be looking for new wallpapers for my phone later so I can get better into the spirit of the season!

Football is already in full swing, so TV’s are constantly tuned to ESPN or FOX or wherever the games are aired. Honestly, I’m looking forward to watching a game or two when I go back home. Maybe I can try to score tickets to an Ole Miss or State game… I love going to football games simply because of the energy of the students and/or fans. It’s so cool and it helps get me pumped for the game too.  I find it funny to hear people say they don’t enjoy watching football, but everyone is entitled to their opinions. So I’ll just say that I love watching football and a lot of other sports too. Which is a bit ironic because I’d either never participate in most sports, but I find them interesting. 

Christmas is nice, Thanksgiving is too. So is Easter and all the other holidays, even the obscure ones. BUT… Halloween is the queen of all holidays, and I don’t care about what others think. Halloween is the best holiday to me. I don’t care about the whole candy thing, but dressing up and hearing/seeing all the creepy events go on is what draws me to Halloween. I love seeing the little kids running around in their costumes and seeing how excited they are to show them off and to get their well earned treat. Last year, I passed out candy with my best friend, and that was a pretty funny night. She accidently made a toddler cry, thanks to her Lemongrab mask. The poor child didn’t even want to come up to the door to get the candy. Several kids were creeped out by that mask, and it was funny to see their reactions. It sucks that I won’t be home for Halloween. The past two years, I would go home with her and we’d pass out candy together or go trick-or-treating. I guess we won’t be doing that this year, but I’ll try to make it up to her later on. 

I don’t think you understand how much I love fall. Just about all of my best memories were created in the fall, and I plan on making many more memories from now on. 

If you didn’t read part one, the jist of the post was that there are certain things that make me feel good, and feel like myself again. For example, the color pink. That’s a feel good color right there, which is why this entire post will be in pink!

Anyways, I know this sounds basic, but Billie Eilish is one of those singers who just makes me feel emotion again. I’ve really been loving “idontwanttobeyouanymore”. It’s a sad, deeper song by nature, but ugh I just want to play it over and over again. 

Another thing I love, is stickers. Just decorating things in stickers is so much fun, and puts a personal spin on things. 

This leads to another feel good item, which is any type of “knick knack”. If you look at my desk, home or here, I have an abundance of useless things. Just lil’ figurines, but they make me so happy. Just to look at them. 

There are some memories that are feel good memories, that just thinking back on them make me all giddy and happy all over again.

Back in the end of March, maybe early April, there was a time where me and a bunch of friends went and watched horror movies at their house.  The first one was called Veronica and the second one I had already seen a bunch of times, Creep 2. During Creep 2, I took such a peaceful kinda nap. I was in and out of consciousness, and the environment was just the best. I can’t describe it but I felt so great? Even though the point of horror movies is to scare you, I just had an amazing time. I think that’s really high on my list of memories. 

Another feel good memory is when I went to Disneyland this summer. I went with my best friend, Cady, and oh my goodness that was such a good time. We video-taped the whole thing, and honestly we need to edit it so we can have the memory laid out for us. Anyways, we just had the best time! We went on rides, had amazing food, got really cute merch, and overall had a good lil’ friend day. 

One thing that is a feel good type of thing, is having my hair touched. I realize how weird that sounds, but oh my goodness. I love having my hair cut, just because I find it so relaxing. I can’t count how many times I wish I could have fallen asleep at the hair dresser. In elementary school I had really long hair, with ringlets, so people used to play with my hair a lot. It was g r e a t.

I wish I didn’t have to rely on things for my happiness though. I mentioned this in part one, but when these things aren’t around, I feel like my brain is a rock. These things are far and few in between too, so I’m left in my zombie-like state for weeks on end, with only a couple moments out of it. 

Looking back, It wasn’t always like this. I wonder when the rock first appeared? That’s another topic for another day. Not for a feel-good post. 

The only memory I have of you is when I was younger. Around four-years-old, to be exact. I remember it was a Thursday because mamma was always out of work that day. I was in the years of Barbie dolls and hide-n-seek. My days were filled with made-up adventures and finding sunken pirate ships out back in the old lake mamma told me not to get in.

This day was special. It was my birthday, and to any four-year-old, this day is the most important of them all. You promised my mother you would stop by on my birthday. I had never heard of you or really thought about you. I remember asking my mom if I had a dad like Hannah from daycare had. You would tell me, “yes, but he is gone.” I never understood what she meant by this, but now that I’m older I see that she was protecting me from the sadness and betrayal you put us through. Either way, I was excited to meet the man I thought never existed. I was excited to meet the man that I tried so hard to imagine in my preschool mind.

I remember waiting on the old, gray front porch all day for you to pull into my driveway. I was playing with my two favorite Barbie’s. I think I named one Sarah and the other Charlotte (both named after my aunt and mother). For a four-year-old, all day is like a whole year in our minds, so finding things to do was very difficult. I mean, god forbid I be bored for two seconds, right?  I remember my mother bringing me dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets for lunch, and a home cooked meal for dinner and then water every hour. She looked disappointing every time she would come to check on me. I know now how bad she felt for me.

I didn’t know what kind of a car you drove because I never knew you, despite how much I wish I did. Every time a car would start down our street, I’d stand up in excitement, but then it would pass, so I sat back down waiting for the next one, never letting my hope go away. I didn’t care if you were a little late because all I care about was meeting my father. Everything else didn’t matter to me at the moment.

After it had become dark, mother came out and said that you weren’t coming. I remember crying so hard wondering why you decided not to come. I remember wanting to know who you were. I hated trying to piece together the images of who I imagined you to be. I was so heartbroken. I remember asking my mother, “who is my dad?” I’d get no answer. Just eyes of sorrow.

This is the only memory I have of you, and it has been an example of how I feel every time I have to think about you. Every single year in elementary school when they had the “bring your dad to school day.” Every single time I asked about you and got no answer in return. Every single time I wondered who you were. You broke my heart without even knowing my middle name, and to me, that is what hurt the most. Wanting to know absolutely everything about you, and you not even giving me a second thought. You hurt me even when your name was never spoken. The sight of my half-siblings having relationships with their father breaks me into two. I feel like half of me is missing. Like another part of me is a mystery that I’ve been trying so hard to find out about.

I want you to see that without you I became strong. I was raised by a strong woman you left in pieces. I watched her pick herself back up and put them back in their place. I watched her struggle, and I watched her grow into the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. She taught me how to be strong when there was no one else around. Because of you, she had to take up not only the position of being a mother but also the position that you decided just wasn’t for you.

I want you to know that I love who I have become. I want you to know that despite all the trials you’ve put me though, I came out alive and I am thriving. I have accomplished great things and trust me, my story is long from being over. I have so many great opportunities going for me. I want you to know that I am who I am not because of you, but because of who I made myself to be. You had no part in this because you chose to have no part in this.