Honestly, I’ve read a lot of books, and I mean a lot, probably hundreds, if not thousands, of online blogs, countless amount of short stories, poems, you name it, but I would have to state that the best I have ever read is one I just recently came into possession of: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by don Miguel Ruiz.

The Four Agreements is a Toltec wisdom book and discusses four agreements (obviously) that the author, Ruiz, believes every human being should promise to themselves.  I came across this book when I was told to read it by my psychiatrist, after I had told her that I was having a difficult time with personal issues I have struggled with for years, and she believed this book would really help me.  And she was right.

The first agreement is “Be impeccable with your word.”  By this, the author means that you should only say what you mean – do not purposefully mislead a person with your words, so as to confused them.  He also states that you should never use your Word to speak against yourself or to “gossip” or spread rumors about other people, and you should not use the power of your Word for any other direction besides toward truth and love and to speak with integrity.

The second agreement is “Don’t take anything personally.”  Ruiz believes that if a person is intentionally speaking negatively about you or about anyone other than themselves, then it is not about whomever they are intending to hurt with their Word – it’s about the one insulting the other.  He says that we all live inside of a dream, and their acting negatively is a projection of their own reality, their dream.  When you built yourself up to immunity of others’ opinions and actions, you will no longer be the victim of undeserved suffering.

The next agreement Ruiz discusses is “Don’t take anything personally.”  Ruiz says that with this one agreement, you can completely change your life.  This agreement consists of: finding the courage to ask questions about opinions and customs you are not adapted to, expressing how you really feel about another person, a belief, or even a controversial topic, and communicating with others as clearly as possible, so as to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and most importantly of all, drama.

The final agreement is “Always do your best.”  The author states that your best will change from moment to moment, depending on both your physical and mental state, such as, your best is better when you are healthy as opposed to when you are sick.  He believes that doing your best will result in avoiding self-abuse, self-judgement and regret.

“When you feel good, everything around you is good, when everything around you is great, everything makes you happy. You are loving everything that is around you, because you are loving yourself. Because you like the way you are. Because you are happy with your life. You are happy with the movie that you are producing, happy with your agreements with life. You are at peace, and you are happy. You live in that state of bliss where everything is so wonderful, and everything is so beautiful” (Ruiz).

(I couldn’t find any page numbers online, so please don’t think I’m plagiarizing).

Loose buttons,

paint stained hands and sand filled hair.

The love for someone that shouldn’t hold hold his heart,

time taken from a family too soon.

Stone cold heart turned to mush turned to stone,

turned human.

Disguise ridden life idled at the sight of a crooked smile,

ghosts talking through destruction, through the voice in her head.

Time taken to heal was almost too long,

Some love stories aren’t just about other people.

 

I carefully selected a cardboard carton from the cold metal shelf.  Peeping inside the stiff, brown, container, I made sure none of the eggs were busted.

With just one vastly uncoordinated motion of my foot,  I was sprawled across the dirty gas station floor.  I glanced over the eggs still balanced in my arms.  I had saved all but one from my clumsy, doubtful feet.  She was cracked.  The veiny cracks were barely visible, but visible still.

This egg was no different from the rest.  She was no weaker.  She just chose to wear her scars proudly upon her bleached shell.  They told the story of her past.  They told the story of what hurt her.

The others were no stronger than her, only less proud of where they’ve been and where that’s lead to–cradled, shaken in my arms.

She was the strong one.

so i love knick-knacks.

knick-knacks and keepsakes and mementos and little things that may not mean anything but can still contain multitudes. i collect ticket stubs and doodles from my notes in class and fortunes from fortune cookies. i collect bits and bobs and everything in-between.

i collect things.

i collect memories.

now call me sentimental, call me a hoarder, call me whatever you see fit. i collect the things that help me remember. i collect confetti and tickets and wristbands from concerts i’ve been to because i can still see the confetti falling through the air and the ticket being scanned and the wristband being secured onto my wrist. i collect paper fortunes to remind myself of the little proverbs that keep me grounded. i collect the things that help me remember.

i don’t know when my little knack for keeping these things started. maybe it was keeping the fortunes in my phone’s translucent case after forgetting to throw them away. maybe it was the little build-a-bear heart i used to carry in the front-right pocket of my jeans on test days because i was sure it would give me good luck.

maybe it was seeing all the little bits and pieces of life that no one seemed to bat an eye at and decided to give them purpose after all.

the little plastic and metal bits are only enough to fill an old jewelry box, and the paper fortunes house in a little starbucks frappuchino glass. but i also have the glass bottle from the very first orange cream soda i had after my grandfather died. i still have the glass coke bottle i bought from the coca-cola museum in vicksburg where it was first bottled. i still have the glass dr. pepper bottle i bought at the piggly wiggly across the street on the last day of msa art camp.

i keep the things most people throw away because i tie far more meaning to them than i should.

there’s this quote that goes “nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed.” it sticks with me years after first reading its words. i’ve always been one to romanticize, to idolize, to reminisce. the past has always been this distant little paradise, a vacation destination i revisit only in late nights and dead silences.

so, maybe nostalgia is a liar. maybe keeping all these little trinkets is just my way of telling myself things were better than they actually were. maybe keeping the happy things is how i try to forget the sad things.

maybe i just like having little reminders to show me how far i’ve come since first collecting this or that, and maybe they remind me of all the happy little things i have left to collect in my life.

 

I think there may be something wrong with the world. For some unknown reason, the world seems to waver at times and distort in front of my eyes. There are moments when I can see everything for what it is. There are others where reality mixes with my imagination. At these moments dragons walk to work on Tuesday mornings. Fish wave to friends from across the street as they wiggle their way onto the bus heading for a place that only leaves my dreams, and my peers don’t seem real. They’re a haze a figment of my hyperactive mind. I will touch their skin and feel warm flesh underneath my fingertips, but can’t dream seem that way as well. Pain and longing and happiness are not limited to what we deem to be the reality. What type of space am I in at the current time, a limbo of mismatched world or too tired to deem anything real from the way my mind mingles with that of my nightmares?

I walked through a school of giants and pixies, fairy’s with God complexes and werewolves that told way too many jokes. Wizards disguised as band instructors waving their magic wands, making us dance to a repetitive beat. I didn’t think anyone else saw this world, I was alone to walk this school of monsters and ghost-like friends. At some point, I even was sure that I was kidnapped by aliens. I swore if I looked out the back window of my bus I would see everything melt away and maybe then could I get a glimpse of far greater technology proving my theory correct, but I saw no such things.

I jump at the chance to make this world true. And maybe it is in different ways I can’t prove that it is false. Very similarly how no one can prove it to be real. This is just the way everything is for me and I come to accept that. I am in a fairy tale world of most peculiar circumstances and ways. But I believe that to be better than any normal day, despite that fact that as I grow older that the world fades away ever so slightly I can still see the traits of what it still is. Even now I’ve seen a poodle disguised as a teacher as a lioness writes about her deepest woes. I wonder if they themselves know what they are but probably not.

WHY YOU SHOULD STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. 

What if I told you that you can dissipate that mental block everyone has every once-in-a-while or even amp up your creativity?  You can.  Have you ever heard of a comfort zone?

What are comfort zones?

A comfort zone is a boundary in which most people feel the safest.  This may be a routine or behavior of you that partake in whether subconsciously or purposely in order to avoid risk or stress.  An example of this is if you are afraid of heights and you take a hot-air-balloon ride.  This is stepping outside of your comfort zone because you are not within your normal area of comfort, but placed in an area that raises stress levels.

Why you should step out of your comfort zone

Comfort zones are called comfort zones for a reason.  They are where you feel the most comfortable, and humans are wired to find the most comfort to reach, ideally, minimal stress.

Regardless of all the bad effects stress reportedly has on the body, there is such thing as healthy stress. 

“Being slightly uncomfortable, whether or not by choice, can push us to achieve goals we never thought we could. But it’s important to remember that we don’t need to challenge ourselves and be productive all the time.  It’s good to step out of our comfort zone. But it’s also good to be able to go back in.” -Alina Tugend, New York Times

This stress raises your adrenaline and attention causing quick thinking.  Eventually, you expose yourself to enough uncomfortable situations over an amount of time that your brain’s quick cognitive thinking improves.

Trying new things out of your normal boundaries can also promote creativity.  By challenging yourself and taking risks, you will be more open to experience thus promoting interests in curiosity, emotion, fantasy, and imagination.  This said, stepping out of your boundaries is what helps us grow.  I’m quite sure that it wasn’t within Benjamin Franklin’s comfort zone to conduct the famous kite experiment.  You can’t evolve your career of life if you stick the same habits and routines.  Psychologist have found that anxiety helps us perform at our peak because our brains, when challenged, rise to the occasion.

Going overboard

Too much stress is a bad thing, yes.  There was once a famous experiment performed on mice.  The experiment found that, to an extent, stimulation (stress) improves performance.  However, eventually the amount of pressure placed on the mice was too great and the performance rate dropped.  Moreover, don’t overload yourself.  Optimal stress reduces productivity and stifles creativity.

The point

All in all, a little stress goes a long way.  Stepping outside your comfort zone stimulates your cognitive abilities and augments the way you react to stressful situations.  Which, overall, is a great outcome.  So, get out there!  Step outside your comfort zone and enhance your performance in everything you do.

 

 

Comfort zones, everyone has one. You know, that place that’s just warm and fuzzy and like home- the feeling is hard to beat. The problem that we all face, at one time or another in our lives, is that you will not always have the comfort of your comfort zone. At this very moment, my comfort zone is being threatened. For our week’s assignment, we were instructed to write a personal narrative. Something deep and heartfelt that makes you feel things when you’re writing it. One of the only problems with this is that I do not take pleasure in putting my feelings into words. This sounds unconventional for someone who is attending MSA for literary, a  discipline for which literally everything you feel is going to be put down into words for others to critique. I think that’s my problem- the fact that someone will have to read what I wrote, and then my story will, in part, be theirs for just a moment. The thought of my thoughts inside someone else’s head all jumbled up and distorted is the kicker. What if they interpret it wrong and then won’t make eye contact with me for the rest of the year? What if the teacher thinks I’m insane and gets me sent to a nut house? As I’m writing this, I’m thinking of how many people will have to read it, even if only for a grade in class. They will have my words in their head and there’s no way I can get them back. Comfort Zones: places our discipline teacher does not like us to stay cooped up in, no matter how warm and cozy. I can understand the concept of wanting us to speak in our very own voice that maybe the outside world doesn’t ever get to hear, but at what cost? Is this narrative grade worth the panic attack that it’s definitely going to give me? Most likely not, but I can already feel the shakes calling my name. To anyone else, the prospect of putting their innermost thoughts on a flash drive might not be so terrifying. Heck, it might even be liberating to have someone know what you’re thinking and feeling. To speak for myself though, I have to disagree. I take great pleasure in having my thoughts stay in my head, where they were created. To reiterate what I’ve already stated- take great care not to get too comfy in your comfort zones. Eventually you will be forced to stand up and stretch, doing things you might not have known you had to do and going places you might not want to go. So my advice to myself, and everyone else, is to enjoy your comfort zone while you can, because you never know when you’re going to wake up and have it disappear for a while.

Everyone has a particular place in their life where they feel the most   comfortable. This place could physical, such as your childhood bedroom, or it could be a state of mind that you travel to for inner peace and better mental health. Comfort zones sound amazing- I mean, what’s not to love about being carefree? However, there is a time and place for every comfort zone, and, sometimes, we all stay in our little bubbles of protection rather than pushing ourselves to be braver, bolder,  and more adventurous in our daily lives.

I’ll give you an example. Picture this: You have always had the same friends, the same schedule in your daily life, same job routine.  You are in your so called “comfort zone”, happy with the niche you have carved out for yourself. One day, you get a job opportunity from the company of your dreams. All expenses to move are paid for, and you would receive a better income, along with the chance to grow as an individual.  Still, you can’t  seem to make yourself go. You struggle with the fact you’ll be on your own in a new place, having to climb the ladder at work all over again; it just doesn’t feel worth it.

This is where most people rely on their stable conditions as an excuse to stay in their comfort zones-  their self-satisfaction  stands in the way of their options.  These people would choose to be “just okay” with the way things are instead of chancing their future, only because they are afraid of the challenges that might lie ahead; they believe the burden of change will be too much for them.

Let’s get one thing straight. This decision will make or break a person. Most often, the people who choose to reside in their comfort zones will continue to use this as an excuse for every passing opportunity until there are no chances left and they are eternally forced to remain in the state they put themselves in. Complacency kills creativity, and we are more often than not so satisfied with being average that we overlook the possibilities our future would hold when we take advantage of our surrounding choices.

Robert Frost said it best when he stated, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by.” It made all the difference for him, why couldn’t that happen for us?

 

We’ve all heard the expression “jump out of your comfort zone” or “step out of your comfort zone,” but personally, I disagree with this saying.  I believe that by telling someone that they should ‘step out of their comfort zone,’ you are basically saying that they should do things that make them uncomfortable or anxious.  Why would you want someone to feel uncomfortable?  Why would you want them to be anxious?  You don’t, right?  So why tell them to step outside of what they are comfortable with doing?

For example, say your friend has an anxiety disorder, and what gives them anxiety are things like public speaking or talking to someone that they do not know.  Would you tell that friend to just leap straight into it and speak at a mall full of strangers, all at once?  No?  Would that not be considered ‘jumping out‘ of their comfort zone?

Now, in writing, comfort zones are a completely different story, if you ask me.  In writing, coming out of your comfort zone means to write about a topic or a specific origin that you typically do not write about.  Personally, I believe that doing so results in bettering your writing – and maybe even your state of mind whenever you think about that origin or topic and your opinions on said topic.  There is another popular expression that we have all heard on one occasion or numerous ones:  “Practice makes perfect.”  In reality, practice does not make perfect because such a thing as “perfect” does not exist.  Every piece of writing you create or begin to create will not be perfect – there will be flaws, regardless of how many hours you pour into it, editing, rewriting, and just simply changing it.  No piece of writing will be perfect.

Practice may not make perfect, but that’s okay.  Practice simply betters you and your work until you are satisfied with what you have produced, and comfort zones are what makes that writing unique from anyone else’s.  Maybe you’re never written about a family member’s death because every time you think about it, you can’t help but do anything other than cry, or you’ve brought up a past memory but never had the voice in your writing be your own – you always had a character who had the same memories as your own, and they were the “I” in your story.  All it takes is to gradually ease into bettering your work or your fears.  Then, you will be even closer to expanding that comfort zone.

I live in a bubble. Around  me, I can see others living their life to the fullest. They jump off cliffs and swim with sharks. They try new recipes and go out of dates with no intention of seeing this person again. They drive 20 miles over the speed limit and buy lottery tickets.

But my bubble keeps me safe.

I don’t walk at night. I don’t swim in pools or the ocean. I make sure to always wear shoes. I don’t try new foods. I don’t drive. I don’t gamble.

My bubble has insured my safety for the past sixteen years of my life.

But something has changed.

I long for plane rides to distance lands. I drive down dirt roads at 80 miles per hour. I buy several five dollar scratch off lottery tickets. I eat at new restaurants every week. I have now swam with fish of every kind.

My bubble has burst and now my life is a roller coaster.

With every coin flip, my life changes and a new experience has been set before me. My eyes are open to the world before me.

Often, my bubble tries to ensnare me again. But I will not go back to a life of boredom and fear. I have found myself in the feel of the sand under my toes and the wind in my hair.

My comfort zones have expanded and I do not fear the world around me.