Author: Amelia Whitaker

There are so many things about writing that I love, but one of my favorite things is writing characters. Keep in mind that I am a frog that knows how to type, but for this post, I figured I could share some character writing/creation advice! This is not professional advice, but if it works for me, it might work for other people as well.

Where Does One Begin?

Personally, I begin when an idea explodes from nothingness and inserts itself into my brain. I look around at the world, think while listening to music, take note of conversations I like or think would be interesting, think of concepts I want to use somehow, and I grab them. The concepts don’t have to be character concepts- world concepts, interaction concepts, battle concepts, and more all work. They work because in order to refine those concepts, creating a character for them is just natural. Thinking of battle sequences can give you ideas on how characters move, how they hold themselves, their experiences, and personalities. The same goes for interaction concepts. World concepts are harder to create characters for, but I think it’s helpful to think about what you want to explore in that world. Once you figure that out, then you can start building a character/characters who would explore those things.

If you have a concept or thought you want to use, but have nowhere to put it, or you’re stuck building it, etc, do not cast it aside. Write that concept down and mark it. Don’t feel like you have to use that concept immediately. Sometimes I’ll have sudden ideas for concepts that have been on the shelf for months, or I’ll be working on something else and realize an old concept I had would fit perfectly inside it.

Character Notes? I Keep All My Info Inside My Head.

I can almost agree. I sort of do this now, and I used to do it all the time, but then I found out just how amazing the power of notes are. You don’t need to write eloquent paragraphs on character personalities, make diagrams, or any of that stuff if you don’t want to. It gets easier with time, yes, but personally I find copy-pasting or writing down rambles to friends far easier. Ask someone you feel comfortable with if you can rant to them about a concept, then take those rambles and put them into your notes. It’s helped me so much. You can totally go back and edit your notes, too, if you feel like it!

It may also be helpful to put big events / core characteristics you know won’t change / things you for sure want to keep / etc. in bullet points off to the side. That way you can get a quick overview, and you don’t have to rewrite core elements if your character ends up changing. Or if you need to change a core element. In any case, I recommend keeping a separate document full of things you’ve changed, most importantly in early development stages.

I Just Can’t Get Invested In This Character…

(having both bad and good characteristics in characters, even if the character is supposed to be a good guy or bad guy)

Sometimes, with new characters, I have a lot of trouble becoming invested in them. It feels more like I’m looking at a sheet of characteristics, or I’m writing someone I’m entirely disconnected from. What I’ve come to realize is that when that happens, its because the character doesn’t have enough negative or positive traits, at least for me. Adding negative traits to a ‘good guy’ and adding positive traits to a ‘bad guy’ makes them feel so much more lifelike, and therefore easier to connect to. Or maybe it’s that it makes them more interesting, and therefore more fun to write. Either way, it works! Little positive and negative traits can help, but in my opinion, the best stuff is when you go all out. It’s even better when the negative traits effect other people, not just themselves. Here are some examples:

Negative:

• Uncaring towards others, but tries to be caring for (reason). Or just uncaring to one or a few people in particular.
• Often underestimates (or overestimates) people/circumstances/etc. Depending on what you choose, it will have different effects.
• Not breaking the law, but creepy or weird. 
• Extremely critical/judgmental

Positive:

• Family is extremely important to them.
• Funny, charismatic, etc.
• Kind of positive? Thinks they’re doing the right thing, when they’re really not.
• Animal lover (frog lover)

And there are so many more you can create!

I’ve had a multitude of special interests (also known as hyperfixations) over my life. They’ve lasted for years- the shortest one being my first, I believe, and it was on the LEGO movie, which I watched at least fifty-one times according to my counter. I was really young then, and the movie still slaps. My interests shifted as I grew. Undertale, Steven Universe, a myriad of Danganronpa characters from all across the games… Wings of Fire and Warrior Cats were probably special interests too, at one point. Despite how many times my special interests have changed, it wasn’t until recently that a thought occurred to me, years into a hyperfixation I knew was a hyperfixation at the time:

“What will happen when I change hyperfixations? Will I feel like I’ve betrayed my old one? Will I not love it anymore? Will it not make me smile? Will I even notice if its gone, and if I don’t, is that worse? What if I just never change hyperfixations?” 

These thoughts terrified me. Change is a frightening thing, and I really did think I’d feel guilty- like I would be turning my back on the characters that had meant so much to me for years upon years.

Anyways, guess who changed hyperfixatons not that long ago? Surprise, past me, it’s me, and changing special interests didn’t hurt you. It does feel kind of weird, though, which is why I’m writing this post. 

I still love my past special interest, but past me was kind of right. It doesn’t make me smile like it used to. Not in a bad way, mind you- it makes me smile sometimes, but in a mellow way that’s nothing akin to the “oh my gosh are you ready for a five hour rant about this subject” smile it gave me previously. Thinking about it that way does make me kind of sad, but its true. It also sounds harsher on paper than it actually feels. 

Another thing that interests me about this change is that my current special interest is on my own character and my friend’s character, who are story-related. This is my first time having a special interest on something that isn’t a widely known form of media- there’s no show to go to for content, no fanart to see, no fanbase apart from my friend group. I’m already very bubbled when it comes to fandoms, so only discussing it with a small group of people isn’t new, but it’s still kind of weird. On the plus side, though- this is my own character! I can write him as my own, I can make things canon, there’s no terribly out of character fanon (aside from 3:00 am memes.) I also get to write him with my friends, and being present as a story unfolds gives me the same amount of joy as watching a show or reading. So, that’s great! 

That’s pretty much it for this blog post. Minds are interesting flesh blobs.

One of my favorite things to write is prose; specifically prose about emotion. I love to delve into my character’s feelings and try to write them with utmost detail, hoping to ignite those same feelings within the reader. I haven’t been able to write prose for a while due to other things capturing my attention, but while daydreaming, I came up with a prompt I’d love to share: getting a glimpse into a few experiences having ADHD. Or at least my version of ADHD- there’s plenty of different variants. I love looking into other people’s brains, but I have yet to find anything going into detail on neurodivergent OR neurotypical experiences. I’ve seen explanations, but not anything immersive, which makes sense. Explaining how brains feel is difficult. Still, though. I’ve figured: “Hey, if I can’t find anything, I can at least write my experiences instead!” So… here!

Keep in mind that everyone’s experiences are different, no matter what they have. I am one voice who speaks for one person: myself. 

Overstimulation

You have so many things to do.

There’s a test in three days, laundry to do at home, a shower to take at home, a submission in a week, a math guide due tomorrow, pages to write, the fans are rumbling, you have to finish this painting, you didn’t know you had to paint two, there’s two paintings due tomorrow, your classmate is moving, the sketch won’t stay still, you have a test in three days, you have to study, you have to move classrooms, people are moving- the shuffling of chairs and art supplies fills your ears, but you can hardly hear the noise over your whirlpooling thoughts and the sight of your cluttered desk. There’s a bag of art supplies on the desk’s edge, a jug of paint water to your left, paintbrushes on paper towels to your right, a sketch in front of you, a painting in front of you, and you have to clean up. You have to move classrooms, like everyone else. You have to study for your test, you have a shower to take, you have to finish this painting, you have to finish another painting, so move, move, move, move, move. 

Your heart is beating so fast it feels nonexistent, screaming and bouncing and leaving nothing but a horrifically bright, prickly feeling in your chest as you scramble for your supplies. Cleaning up is such a simple task, and you’re already behind everyone else. Cleaning up is such a simple task, but you’re clumsy and trying to stop the feeling of your lips falling off, your eyes watering, and your tongue rolling. Everyone is doing fine. You have to clean off your paintbrushes, clean off your hands, the teacher is looking at you, your classmate is by the door, you have to throw way the paper towels, you have to move classrooms, you don’t have time to move classrooms, you have to finish  your painting, you have to take a shower, you hate showers until you get in them, you have to study for your test, your hands are shaking, you have to do your math guide, you have to finish your paintings, you have to move classrooms- the teacher calls for you to hurry up as you try to figure out how to fold your sketch. What do you do with all this supplies? Carry it? Leave it? The sketch won’t fold right, and you give the teacher a smile that you hope doesn’t look deranged. The crinkling sketch makes you want to scream; your lips feel like tiny balls of energy are exploding inside your flesh. The crinkly paper feels like it’s shaving off your fingertips and prying off your buzzing hands. You want to tear it to shreds and hit the table. Your chest feels like it isn’t there- like it’s just a gaping hole that’s serrated at the edges, sucking in your limbs and eyes and soul and filling them with prickles, prickles, prickles, FOLD, FOLD, FOLD. You shove the innocent, serene paper into your tools bag, wanting more than the sharp crumpling noise you get in return, but also wanting that noise to shut up.

Daydreaming

It’s testing day in math class, and you’re on the fifth problem of twenty. You’re also off your ADHD medication, and while medication doesn’t solve everything, yours is pretty helpful. Not that it can help you now.

You know you need to finish the problem you’re working on, and you’re staring at the text, pencil in hand. What equation do you need to use? You read the text with furrowed brows, but the words slide across your eyelids like rain on a windowpane. You frown to yourself and try again. The words still slide, and, unbeknownst to you in the slightest, your thoughts slide with them. You stare blankly at the paper you’ve forgotten exists, imagining prose, dialogue, and interactions between your characters. You roll around some scenario that has to do with your special interest, thoroughly captivated by whatever you’ve created.

The inky forms of the text then swiftly fade back into your consciousness. You blink, maybe even jump a little bit- Oh, crap, you forgot about the test. How much time do you have left now? You need to solve this problem fast. You reread the text, having an easier time comprehending them, and move on to solving. Your special interest pops back up, and you end up imagining…

CURSES. You snap back into it again after an undetermined amount of time, still on the fifth problem of twenty. Your time concerns only grow, and you rush to finish the last of the problem- or at least, you try to. You think for too long on one section before you remind yourself of the time limit. You move onto the next problem, and it goes better. You circle your answer, look at the tiling on the floor, and you don’t realize yourself starting to think about…

There are a lot of other experiences I could share, but this blog post can only be so long! Maybe I’ll write some more eventually. For whatever reason you read these, I hope you enjoyed! Second person is pretty fun to write in.

I adore bugs. Their biology is incredibly interesting, they’re the most populous creature on the planet, they look almost alien, and they are incredibly important parts of the environment. Bugs are absolutely incredible, and I love them for it.

Past me, however, disagrees. Bugs are terrifying little critters for reasons past me can’t explain. Their twitching wings and spindly legs make past me want to scream. Their compound eyes and clicking mouths are worth past me’s tears. Is there a house fly stuck in the blinds? Time to move location. Is there a cockroach in the bedroom? Time to sleep on the couch.

That last one was actually rather recent in the grand scheme of things- it happened in 2023. So, question: how on earth am I not afraid of bugs anymore?

The answer: I’m still afraid of bugs, but I’m working on it. My fear has been steadily declining. One of my life goals is to be able to hold a bug.

I wish I could give a detailed, step-by-step walkthrough of this me-metamorphosis, but memory is a murky thing. I know the driving factor in this change of heart was realizing just how amazing bugs are. Instead of thinking of them as little pests, I recognized them for the important roles they play in the cycle of life. I’m much more into weird things now than I was in the past, too, and what’s more whacky than bugs? There are some absolutely crazy bugs out there. 

There are also bugs that are strikingly beautiful!

The more I learned about bugs, the more interested in them I became. Perhaps knowing more about them lessened my fear? Maybe learning about other fears of mine will make me less afraid of them, too. Not all of my fears are as cool as little critters, though.

Whenever I think about this bug-loving journey I’m on, it reminds me of all the other ways I’ve changed, and the ways I’m still changing. With humans, I don’t think there’s an end to our metamorphosis as a whole. I think parts of us go through metamorphosis at different times, then go through the cycle again. Though maybe that opinion itself will go through metamorphosis in the future. What does it feel like to emerge from a cocoon, anyhow?

Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit…

Recently, it was raining buckets at school. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve seen, but having to walk through shoe-soaking paths with a paper-thin backpack full of important items wasn’t very funky fresh. Climbing onto the bus, my socks were soaked to the bone, and it would take the entire day for my backpack and purse to completely dry. The bust seats were also watery, I had a dripping umbrella in hand, and the thought that my hair probably looked disastrous nagged at my mind. It was a fun experience to share- I have gladly added it to my brain folder for future writing reference, as I like to collect moments like trading cards- but during the moment, it was nothing special. I joined in on complaining about the weather despite how anxious complaining can make me, because it was complaint-worthy. Doing so did make me feel… not sad, but not good. Neutral with a side of “Man. This sucks.”

But then a thought came to me. My braincells aligned themselves in perfect form, and I realized something truly amazing.

“It’s frog weather.”

A likely goofy grin broke onto my face as I blurted out that thought, voice unfurling in leafy wonder. It’s frog weather. Being soaked is exactly what a little frog would love, and my shoes were squelchy like a frog’s step. Frogs slipping into mud puddles, frogs sitting in loafs on drenched trees, frogs blinking their eyes as droplets plonk onto their faces. Frog weather! 

The amount of happiness this thought gave me feels almost childish, but I love it. I remember walking to class with a smile, and I impulsively said to a passing woman, “It’s frog weather!” She said “Yeah!” in response, likely not realizing the gravity of the phrase. Frog weather! 

I think I said the words to some of my friends as well, but I know I thought it more often than I said it. Frog weather, frog weather. I loved watching the raindrops hit the classroom window, imagining the earthy, lush scent of a rainstorm outdoors, mossy and muddy and froggy with frogs. Frog weather makes rain feel so much more sparkly. Maybe someone reading this will feel the same way as I do, and they’ll beam at the pitter-patter of raindrops with thoughts of frogs.

I cannot believe you fell for the clickbait. Kind of.

I am going to be ranking top three anime end-themes, except it’s just my personal opinion from the media I have watched. Expectedly, the songs I’ve picked are from my two favorite animes as of now! Yes, yes, I know, “Two? You have three songs; get yourself some variety.” To that I say I already have variety, especially in my ominous bone collection. Though I am very open to discovering new media, when the songs are good, they’re good. So, let’s move on, shall we? But first!

This blog includes MAJOR SPOILERS for Puella Magi Madoka Magica and Land of the Lustrous, which is also known as Houseki no Kuni. I usually refer to it as Houseki no Kuni.

If you have not checked out either of these stories and love psychological horror, phenomenal soundtracks, flavorful visuals, and absolutely superb plots, I highly recommend closing this blog in favor of watching/reading the aforementioned stories. They are incredible to go into blind.

Alright, warning given! Now we can actually get into the list.

1.                    And I’m Home (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

This song, fueled by what happened in the singular episode it played, wrecked me when I heard it. A large part of its emotional value comes from context gained via watching the series, but that isn’t to say that the song itself isn’t beautiful. The instruments and vocals itch my brain just right, and everything sounds so smooth and blue! Which is fitting, considering what the song plays for. 

And I’m Home, sung by two characters within the series- their actual characters, judging from the lyrics, voice actors, and the ending art (shown above)- plays at the end of episode 9. It’s fittingly centered around the emotions of Kyoko Sakura (VA: Ai Nonaka) and Sayaka Miki (VA: Eri Kitamura), detailing struggle but also love. Some of the lines are:

“(Duet) No matter how many times you feel that way,

there will always be warmth here.

Even if it was a mistake, I don’t care, I’ll always be by your side.”

(Content Warning: Unsubscribing to Life)

What hurts the most is that episode 9 is the episode where both of these characters die. Sayaka is transformed into another being, dying in the process, and Kyoko spends her last moments trying to call out to “Sayaka.” However, Kyoko ends up realizing it’s useless, and kills both herself and “Sayaka” at the end of a heartfelt speech. I could talk about the writing of that scene for forever- just these words don’t do it justice.

1.               Magia by Kalafina (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

The tone shift of going from Madoka Magica’s previous happy, lighthearted end theme to a guitar driven, dark, and dangerous theme is wild in the best way possible. It really highlights how the series starts off looking innocent, when in reality, it’s a psychological horror! Not to mention that this theme is foreshadowing in the best way possible. At first, it appears to be your standard dark end-theme, but when a plot twist is revealed towards the end of the series, you realize that Magia was about that plot twist the entire time. The wonderfully crafted lyrics aren’t about the main character at all- they’re about the character who was the early antagonist, what she’s feeling, and what she’s hoping for, along with the plot twist and ending. Also I go crazy for the violin and guitar in this- I really wish there were more songs who used both! Here are some of the lyrics:

“In these frightened hands of mine,

courage is made of handpicked flowers

My feelings alone are all that I rely upon,

a wish that will awaken 

the light.”

1.                           Liquescimus (Houseki no Kuni)

Wow, another song that plays after a character death! Yay… What makes it worse (better)  is that its another in-character song, sung by Phosphophyllite (VA: Tomoyo Kurosawa.) The vocals of this song feel like the embodiment of sadness, and the pacing of the instruments only adds to the sorrow. One of the things I really love about this song is that it’s in character to the events and worldbuilding of Houseki no Kuni. Character death is equivalent to being taken to the moon in this world, and in Liquescimus, Phosphophyllite sings about Antarcticite being taken to the moon. It plays over the above image- Antarcticite’s resting place- to really hurt your soul. This song also foreshadows the events of the Manga, where Phosphophyllite forgets more and more of their life, including Antarcticite. Here are some of the lyrics:

“There is now only a 

white phantom that looks like you,

shatters when it comes,

and goes off to the moon.”

Beauty standards are weird. There are, of course, ten billion other things in this world that are weird, but today I want to focus on beauty standards for humans. With a tilt of my head, humans can look like amazing wonders of biology, but with another tilt I realize that all humans look horrifying. Our eyes are so round and glassy, our wrinkled lips pull back to reveal the literal bones sticking out of our mouths, our fingers and toes wriggle so weirdly. Humans think humans are beautiful because they are used to how they look. But not every human has the same standard of beauty, and the beauty standards of the present are plain weird. Think about it for a moment. Why do we think certain things are beautiful?

One thing I think about is the hatred of acne- almost every teenager ever gets acne, but the presence of it is met with disgust. I’m not saying to stop taking care of your skin, but acne is so normal! Why is it hated so much? Despite how common it is, acne can have so many unique patterns- and that goes for so many other things, too. When I wash away my point of view of “Oh what on earth are human faces why do they move like that,” the average human feels beautiful. To me, beauty should not be smooth faces, even brows, and whatever else is going on; beauty is uniqueness, beauty is being human. There are so many appearances out there with so much unique character. I actually wrote a poem on this topic a while back, and I would like to share it. It sums up some of my thoughts pretty well, plus, why not? 

 On another note- one of the things that brought this up was discussing character design with a friend. We both talked about how much we love seeing regular things like acne scars, sun spots, missing teeth, bushy eyebrows, braces, picked skin, and etc on characters, but I barely ever seen such things on characters outside my own friend group. I love creating characters with all sorts of features and shapes! Not only does it make them more recognizable, but it’s also lovely to see. And also realistic. You’re telling me there’s shows with teenagers in apocalyptic settings and none of them have a single pimple? Or chewed up nails? Or intense eyebags? Or sunburn?

With that out of the way, here is the aforementioned poem.

This Is Beauty 

Rosy bumps dot your cheeks, 

   Shining in the sun. 

They frame your smile gorgeously, 

   but you’d rather hide them, shunned. 

 Why are you afraid, 

to show such common uniquity? 

   look- they have them, too, and so does she. 

don’t you see the utter beauty? 

 Treat yourself with utmost care, 

but there’s no need to run. 

    there shouldn’t be, at least- 

pimples happen to everyone. 

 why do the coral spots garner frowns 

      When they’re scattered like constellations? 

   Why do bodies attract heartless jabs 

 when they’re a part of simple nature? 

what is the point of conformity, 

     when there’s so much more to adore? 

  you grin with a charming dimple, 

And your broad teeth gleam like priceless quartz. 

 The gaps between aren’t oddities, 

they’re a perfect part of who you are. 

Some may be far-reaching, 

     while others may have crevices, 

  Perhaps some teeth are even absent, 

           Or you sport badass metal braces. 

  The variety of appearances 

 is nothing short of sublime. 

   The acne scars above your brow 

And the sunspots here and there 

         are like speckled pretty paint drops.  

Even the different scars embroidering your skin 

 no matter the size or shape, 

   Are like murals filled with history. 

From your distinguished hooked nose, 

An amazing trait of character, 

   To the bottoms of your rugged, 

running-wild soles, 

There’s no doubt that you’re delightful. 

  from your elegant, fanned ears, 

like big, perfect petals 

To the glorious deltas of stretch marks 

Spanning across your form, 

Make no mistake- you’re beautiful. 

Small, tall, large, or skinny, 

Every variation of the body, 

     You and your distinct features 

Are as stunning as the stars. 

The idea for this type of blog post has come to me, but I’ve always pushed it aside. I think a part of me thought I might be making a big deal out of nothing. However, this blog is about a part of my identity, and after talking with a friend, I realized just how much I have to say. This blog is about my experiences being aromantic: a romantic orientation meaning that I don’t fall in romantic love. Please keep in mind that there are far different experiences other aromantic people have- I do not speak for everyone in the community, I’m merely one person. I hope this post can help spread awareness, and maybe help someone.

The aromantic pride flag

Discovery and Representation

For a long time, I didn’t know what I was. I wanted a label, but all I knew was that I wasn’t straight. It felt wrong to be called straight. I had no idea how to describe what I was, or that being aromantic was a thing- aromantic representation runs extremely thin, and aromantic expression in media is even thinner. Even now, I only find either of those two things when I’m searching for it. There was nothing in my daily life to bring the aromantic label to light.

I tried many different labels. 

“I don’t like men- does that make me a lesbian? Am I lesbian? Or maybe I’m pansexual- maybe I can love everyone, and that makes it harder to find love. Maybe I’m bisexual, and I just haven’t found the right one.”

All of them felt wrong to me, but it was all I had. I had to be something, right? I think the longest label I chose was pansexual, but I distinctly remember being uncomfortable with it.

I don’t remember the video, but I found the word aromantic in a youtube comment. I looked up the word and studied its definition. For me, it was like someone clicked on a light, flushing away the chattering shadows of, “Am I? Am? Am I? Am I?” here, in this label, I found something that felt right. Comfortable, like a reassuring blanket. I found tales of experiences similar to my own, and things started making so much more sense. “Aromantic. That’s me! I am aromantic!” I was lucky to have such an experience.

There was a phase after that, after I came out to my friends, where I referenced being aromantic so much. I was consuming everything I could about it, I was so happy.

But, outside of the aromantic community, there was barely anything that represented being aromantic. Even in the LGBTQ+ community itself, there wasn’t a whole lot. (there’s more there now, thankfully.) The ace-specs know the term much better, but it still makes me feel unknown. Off the top of my head, I can only think of one character in large media that’s obviously aromantic,  Kusuo Saiki, (king) and he’s aromantic-asexual. That’s very valid, shout out to all the aro-aces, the aces, everyone else on the spectrum. I love that there’s at least some representation for the community. However, throughout indie media and larger media, I’ve realized there’s so much more ace representation, and then less but still more, aro-ace representation than only aro representation. I want representation for everyone, but by everyone I mean everyone. If there was more aromantic characters in media, people would better understand what it means to be aromantic, and what comes with it. You can be aromantic but not asexual, you can be asexual but not aromantic, you can be both, you can be other things on the spectrum. (Demiromantic, aegosexual, etc.) If there was more representation, it would make coming out so much easier. It’s hard explain something people know nothing about, and it’s hard to find spaces where you feel welcome. Even in the LGBTQ+ community itself, there’s still people who don’t understand being aromantic, pity being aromantic, or try to wipe it off the radar. Which actually brings me to my next point…

The Pitying of The Aromantic Community

My friend theorized that the reason there’s so little aro representation is because being single is seen as unfulfilling and saddening. In reality, many people, even outside of the aromantic community, don’t need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy or fulfilled. There are other forms of love, and for me, romantic love is less fulfilling than platonic love. Platonic love is the type of love you have with friends and family, and it can be just as strong as romantic love, just… not. You can confide in, cuddle with, and spend half of your time with a platonic friend. Strong bonds aren’t always romantic.

In the past, I dated someone for maybe a year. He was of the opposite gender. He asked me out, and I didn’t know how to respond. I liked spending time with him, and he was a boy, so that meant I liked him, right? I said yes.

When I say nothing changed for me in the relationship, I mean nothing changed. He called me his girlfriend, he got me gifts, we went on dates, and it was fun! But I didn’t realize that all I was feeling was just friendship. There was no change in feelings on my side. Going on dates and getting gifts was because I wanted to spend time with him and thought that was how relationships worked. I feel bad thinking back on it; it feels like I was deceiving him unknowingly. It feels so obvious looking back on it, too. I don’t think the reaction to someone telling you “I think I have a crush on your boyfriend…” is, “Oh. Okay?” And I don’t think you’re supposed to feel weird and anxious saying your boyfriend is your boyfriend. 

I did not see him as my boyfriend,  I saw him as a boy friend, and I didn’t know. 

The time I spend with my friends  as friends feels so much more fulfilling than any time with my ex-boyfriend as a romantic partner. Movie dates where I’m wondering how to make romantic  relationships work cannot compare to giggling with friends at the back of a comic-con. Those romantic “I love you”’s only filled me with discomfort I tried to deny, while my heart blooms when me and my friends tell each other “I love you guys,” platonically.

I am not sad being unable to feel romantic love. What does make me sad is when people say, “You don’t fall in love? I’m so sorry. That sounds horrible.” What does make me sad is when people frame it like I’m missing out on some great experience. Romantic relationships may be great for them, but they aren’t great for me. What does make me sad is when people think being aromantic means I’m emotionless, and unable to feel empathy or any type of love. 

The Denial of the Aromantic Community’s Existence

I know it can be hard to comprehend, especially when someone doesn’t know the term. Some people need an explanation, and I’m happy to provide them with that. Some people still don’t respect it, though, and some people completely deny its existence. So many people deny its existence.

“You’ll find the right person one day.”

“You just need more time!”

“You’re young, it just hasn’t happened yet.”

Yes, I’m young. Maybe one day I’ll realize I’m not aromantic and change my label, which is completely fine. But right now I feel aromantic, belong in this label, and don’t ever see it changing in the future. the most tiring things to hear are variants of the quotes above. They’re so invalidating. Who even is the ‘right person?’ What if the right person is one of my friends? In that case, what if I’ve already found them? It feels like I’ve already found the right person in my friends, as friends.

This experience isn’t exclusive to me. Many other aromantics get told the same thing. There are so, so many of us, and despite what others say, we exist. We are valid.

My Opinion on Romance

Because I’m aromantic, most people assume I don’t like romance, such as in movies or books or other couples in real life. While it’s very real for a aromantic person to be repulsed by all romance (on a spectrum),  personally, I adore romance! I really love fictional ships, and other people being together doesn’t bother me. Reading good, cute romance makes me elated. Though, I have to admit- the way people describe romance sounds horrifying sometimes. Like, you think about one person all of the time and feel horribly sad when they’re gone? You dream about that person and can’t help but admire them silently, hoping your intense feelings are returned? You get into relationships in high school, knowing there’s a very slim chance they’ll lead anywhere more? Don’t even get me started on relationship drama. Why is there so much relationship drama?!

I could never. Great for all the romantics out there, but also man. I am glad I don’t have to deal with that. I’m fine with my lovey-dovey fanfiction and media. 

End

If you got this far, then yay! This post was longer than I realized while writing it. I hope you learned new things, and if you have any questions, I have no problem answering. Have a nice day!

This morning was an odd one for my usual routine. Not much deviated, but the atmosphere upon opening my eyes was different- I don’t know how exactly to explain it, but I felt suspiciously calm, not thinking about how much time I had to get ready. It was 5:55 AM when I woke up, but instead of begrudgingly pulling myself out of bed, I just laid and stared. Minutes ticked by, and when I got up after 6:11, I thought: “I’m going to have to rush like all HECK.”

But I didn’t, and I didn’t feel rushed either. Against the notions of my brain, I had time left while I waited for my family. I looked outside my windows, heard some noises, and decided to spend my free time standing in the driveway with my journal. I hadn’t ever decided to write so early in the morning, and though balancing my journal on my arm to keep my writing steady was troublesome, it was a fulfilling experience. The excerpt below is what I wrote during that time, this very morning. Some small edits have been made to make things more coherent.

11/8/23

Sounds of the Rising Sun

The metalworker is in their workshop this morning, the sounds of clinging metal and skittering chains reaching my ears. I hear them activate the saw again and again, three seconds of silence in between before the scraping resumes like clockwork. There’s a masculine, adult voice shouting at something to my left- my guess is that they’re two houses down, but their voice rides the wind with ease. I can’t make out their words, but they shout in the stern, gruff, warning way one would shout at a misbehaving child or dog. Their voice rings out like a bark: heavy at the beginning and swooping up at the end. When I visualize it, I see it as a sharp punch of sound breaking the air. A cluster of birds swim through the sky above, their bubbly chirps alerting me of their arrival. They sound like colorful dots popping against my tongue and ears, and I can almost see those dots bouncing around them as they fly. Their asymmetrical forms gracefully cut through the fog, their shadowy silhouettes melding with the dark treetops. They take their poppy tweets with them as they leave my line of sight, but another flock flies not far behind. They’re smaller, their voices just as bouncy, and they chitter a similar chorus. Their departure brings my attention to the mist-shrouded lake they flew by. In the fog, the wooden posts of my neighbor’s unfinished dock appear as abandoned, alien monoliths. For a moment there is no noise, and I think about the hoofprints in the lakeside, the dying porch ferns by my feet, and the swamp-tree saplings bordering the right side of the pond. The unexpected rustling of branches snaps me out of my thoughts, and I turn around in search of the noise’s cause. It was so quick, so sudden, that I almost think I never heard it. I think, “It’ll be another memory that washes away with the day.” The crinkled brown leaves I see fall tell me otherwise, though- that noise wasn’t figment of imagination. I hear no squirrels amongst the trees and no birds perching overhead, but I do hear the twist and click of the front door lock. The weather strips squeal as they’re pushed apart from one another, the motion making the automatic light flick on. My mother is here, my sibling is in the car, and it’s time to go to school.

Frogbloginning (Frog-blog-beginning) 

That’s right! It’s time for yet another frog blog! I don’t have much to say before we dive on into the info, but I do have another frog fact to share! Some people might think this is gross, though, so feel free to skip. Frogs throw up by throwing up their stomachs! Like, their entire stomachs get pushed out of their mouths, and then they use their front feet to clean their exposed stomach. Once clean, they just swallow their stomach to put it back in place. How cool is that?! (Source!)

Pumpkin Toadlet (Brachycephalus pernix)

(Source 1)  (Source 2)

Now, you might be wondering why I put a ‘toad’ on this list. Toads aren’t frogs, are they? THAT IS WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN DECIEVED. Every toad is a frog; not every frog is a toad. But, with that out of the way, its time to talk about these absolutely miniscule fellas. Pumpkin toadlets, horribly, have been described as ‘the frog bad at everything.’ Which is, uuhhh… well, I love them and they aren’t extinct, so they’re doing something right! Pumpkin toadlets are so, so tiny that their ears are underdeveloped. This means that their semicircular canals- the bony tubes in your ears that help you balance- can’t… help them balance, making them twirl, summersault, and land every which way whenever they jump. You can find videos online about them! The underdevelopment also means that they can’t hear mating calls, either. 

Purple Digging Frog / Pignose Frog  (Nasikabatrachus sahyadrensis)

(Source 1) (Source 2)

As all I do all frogs, I love this frog so much. Look at its shape! Look at its face! Its so unique, weird, and cute! I say this lovingly: it looks like a yam got turned into a frog. Truly, frogs are amazing. It took a while for the Purple Digging Frog to be discovered because it stays underground most of its life. They only arise for 2-3 weeks during the rain! The females are also much larger than the males, and they straight up carry the males to nesting grounds. The strength of frogs… 

Waxy Monkey Tree Frog (Phyllomedusa sauvagii)

(Source 1) (Source 2)

 Look. Look at this frog. Look at how absolutely chill this green little amphibian is. If you look up pictures of them, you’ll see they can look devoid of braincells and derpy, but they also just… look so chill. The Waxy Monkey Tree frog (A weird name, I know) spends most of its life in treetops. The heat up there, along with spending hours in the sun, would normally dry out a frog’s skin, but not for this species! Waxy Monkey Tree frogs secrete a wax-like substance that retains moisture! Now that you know where the ‘waxy’ and the ‘tree’ part of its name is from, where’s the ‘monkey’ aspect come in? Unfortunately these frogs don’t swing from treetops, but they don’t hop! They just walk, apparently like a monkey. That in itself is GREAT and WONDERFUL and nobody should tell these frogs otherwise.

Frogblogending (Frog-blog-ending) 

That’s it for this frog blog, folks! I hope you learned something new! There’s a lot more interesting frogs out there, available to be researched!