So, this isn’t very different from my normal blogs but here is an excerpt from my novel that I stop writing a while ago. Many doing this will give me inspiration to pick it up again and finish it. The title is a work in progress.
Excerpt from “High School Mafia”
She grabbed them by their arms and pulled them downstairs to the kitchen. As they step into the kitchen, they are greeted by a serene and inviting atmosphere created by the captivating blue and gray color scheme. The walls are painted pale gray, providing a neutral canvas for the play of colors. The gentle blue accents are strategically woven throughout the space, bringing an understated vibrancy.
They are drawn to the heart of the room, a magnificent island that takes center stage. The island stands as a focal point, exuding elegance and functionality. Its base is a rich, slate-gray hue, grounding the space with a touch of sophistication. The countertop has an expansive slab of polished marble in a delicate blue shade reminiscent of calm ocean waters. The marble’s natural veins swirl gracefully, adding an artistic touch to the island’s surface. Standing behind the island is a tall man with long, straight hair up in a neat bun. He was wearing a light gray suit. “Πατερούλης, good morning!” Zera exclaimed to the man when she ran up and hugged him from behind.
He turned around and hugged her back “Καλημέρα, κοριτσάκι.” Mr. Tassi said to Zera. He kissed the top of her head. The family sat together at the table and just talked to each other. This tradition is something the family started when it was Sebastian’s first day of school and they do it every year, they sit together at breakfast and talk about any and everything. While they were talking a man ran into the kitchen, his hair was messy, and his suit had wrinkles like he just threw it on. “Sorry boss, but Rosi is here.” The man spoke out of breath.
Zera looked to her brother when she heard that name, Rosi is the mayor’s family name even though Srario was a very small town because of some problems in the past there have been a few mayors of course none of that is really important right now. Zera looks to her dad then to her brother “Basty what going on?” She asked him, her face frowning up. Sebastion gave her a gentle smile and patted her head. He looked at the twins and nodded his head towards them. “Come on ladybug we have to get to school early.” Jonas said as he got up pulling Lucas with him.
So, for my post, I wanted to share with you all the Horror Movies I watched this October, and the ones that stood out versus the ones that shouldn’t exist. I watched most of these with my roommate, and we had differing opinions of, pretty much all of them. I’ll also be ranking them from least to greatest.
The way I’ll Score the movie is by A: Creativity of Kills,
B: Plot/Story
C: Characters D: Killer
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Childs Play
I’m going to be frank, They should have stopped after the second movie. Everything after that feels like fanfiction, and I’m not exaggerating. Two of the movies feel like a “Scary movie” Parody, and if you haven’t seen any of the “Scary Movie” movies, they’re just movies making fun of the plots of the originals.
Heck, even the names sound like titles of Fan Fiction, and I’m specifically talking about, “Bride of Chucky” Where Chucky reunites with his long-lost girlfriend, Tiffany Valentine, and Seed of Chucky, where Chucky just… Has a kid. It’s by far the worst franchise to have sequels. But I do think they had a few good ones in there. The first and second were decent. Good plot, good characters. And the last one, Cult of Chucky, I thought that one was underrated. I thought the plot of it was better than the rest, excluding the first and second.
So, if I’m just rating the first, second, and first Child’s Play movie.
Creativity of kills • 4/10
Plot/Story • 6/10
Characters • 4/10
Killer • 5/10
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Friday the 13th
I only saw the first and second movie, so I can’t say much about the entire franchise, but overall, I really liked them. They were a little slow, but the kills were impressive, (most of them) and the killer had an interesting background. I Won’t go into detail about any of these movies to avoid spoilers, but I will give a brief overview.
A group of camp counselors are looking to make some extra cash on the side, so they all go to Camp Crystal Lake. This camp is notorious for having misfortune and bad luck fall upon the campers and counselors, so it never gets much foot traffic. Days into their stay, camp counselors mysteriously go missing, or are found dead in the woods, or in their very own cabin.
One problem I did have with these movies was the pacing. It felt very prolonged. It took a while for the climax of the story to arrive.
I’ve heard that the franchise of Friday the 13th gets really out of hand, and I think in the 10th one The Killer goes to space, so I’ll probably stop after the fourth. But from the two movies I have seen, the first and second, I thought they were pretty good. Overrated for sure, but I’d watch them again on Halloween.
So, for the rating,
Creativity of kills • 7/10
Plot/Story • 8/10
Characters 4/10
Killer • 8/10
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The Ring
This movie was pretty good. And just for clarification, I’m talking about the 2002 American, The Ring, not to be confused with the Japanese Ringu They’re the same movie but made at different times. Although both movies follow nearly the same plot. The original, the most movies stem from is the Japanese version. Anyway, I liked The Ring. The story was really interesting, and the characters were pretty deeply made.
The movie follows a female reporter who hears of a strange death of a high school girl. She investigates further to find out that a rumor of a mysterious tape is the cause of death. After watching the tape your phone rings, and a woman on the other end says, “Seven Days,” Then hangs up. The story was really interesting, and the movie has been adapted seven times into different movies or TV shows and fun fact, The Ring was based on a novel by Koji Suzuki. I’m definitely going to be checking that one out.
Creativity of kills • 8/10
Plot/Story • 7/10
Characters 7/10
Killer • 10/10
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Scream
Fun Fact: Most of the characters on this cover look completely different in the movie. Skeet Ulrich has shorter hair and no facial hair, they didn’t even show Mathew Lillard, and Courtney Cox has a different Haircut.
After watching the first movie I was obsessed, and that was only a year or two ago. Surprisingly I only watched the first one those years ago, and only recently did I finish the series. In total, there were six Scream movies. Each adds a new spin to the franchise. Overall, Scream 1, is by far my favorite. The plot, and characters, ending. It was all so amazing. It’s at the top of my list of favorite horror movies. In the Scream franchise, most often, it follows our protagonist Sidney Prescott being harassed and chased by a Scooby-Doo-looking killer, although he may seem cartoon-like with his costume, I assure you he is no joke. And by he, I mean Ghost Face. Ghost Face is a serial killer who stalks and preys upon his victims, making sure they die in agony as well as confusion and fear. He toys with his victims before making them meet their untimely demise. As for the rating of the Scream franchise, I might be a little biased. Oh, and to clarify, this rating is for the first Scream.
The creativity of Kills • 9/10
Plot/Story • 8/10
Characters • 9/10
Killer • 10/10
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Anyways, I apologize for the length of this post, but thanks for reading. I hope that this inspires someone to start watching more 80-90’s slashers. It’s by far my favorite type of movie genre and deserves more respect.
When I was writing for my audition, I came up with something called “10-minute-poetry,” where I just let my fingers go and wrote in my notes app whatever came to me, see what I made with just that time, then make some titles after the fact. That’s the basic gist of what happened here.
tw: body horror, implied suicide
Beyond Imagination
The earth shatters under my heels, the blood twisting out of my arteries makes it’s way onto the ground and I breath. Shallow and afraid.
Never have I been this afraid before, this terrified, as I stare into the open maw of a creature with jagged edges and overbite, claws carved out craters on its tongue, and a ferocious smile. By God, a ferocious smile.
It licks its lips, its slimy tongue coating the outside of its fur, before it starts. Its feet will pound the pavement enough to shake the entire city and the chase to kill me ensues.
“You know you’re tired of running. I can always smell you.”
My vision spins and my heart bursts out of my chest and I look back at the creature as it licks up my spilled arteries and the hole it dug itself out of, and I know I’m screwed as I’ve stopped running.
It looks up. It smiles.
“You know you’re tired of running. Don’t you want to die?”
I wake up.
And I won’t go back to sleep.
the color outside
There’s snow outside my doorway.
It’s white, it’s a flurry, it’s beautiful.
I close my blinds.
There’s rain outside my window.
It’s pouring, it’s monstrous, it’s destroying everything within its wake.
My mother leaves town without a note.
It’s sunny on my porch.
It’s breaking across the grass, it tears apart shadow and dawn, yet it burns my skin all the same.
My brother parks his car. He’ll start to talk about how nice it is outside. I won’t go.
Clouds hang onto the sky.
They’re threatening rain, thunderstorms, hail, but the weather forecast says we won’t be seeing either of this.
My father walks to the sky and sips his coffee. He wishes something would happen.
We both know it probably won’t.
your headstone is not poetry.
I think I will die
Scatter my seeds across tilled soil and expire
Watch from the heavens as the crows pick apart my body, and know this is poetry.
But it’s probably not.
There’s no poetry to a funeral, that’s for the living
There’s no poetry to weeping mothers and siblings and fathers.
There’s no poetry as freshly dug graves are made in the ground and they bury
Hello! When thinking of what to do for this blog, I was honestly stumped. I had plenty of concepts and writing scraps on my ideas page, but they all didn’t feel right. Either that, or I thought “I don’t have enough time to write that.”
So, the obvious choice was to start writing something that I really don’t have enough time to write! Haha! Don’t be like me.
The following is what I like to call a ‘drabble.’ To me, a drabble is just something I wrote for fun, like a spontaneous idea. I don’t know exactly where I’ll go with it, but while writing it, I just follow my instincts. I like to try new things in drabbles as well! A lot of my drabbles end up being edited and expanded upon later, but due to short time, this one is rather short. I had a lot of fun writing it, though! The characters in this are dear to me, and I really enjoyed burying myself in Isko’s mindset. Have fun reading, and maybe even give drabbles a try too! They’re neat practice.
Now, prepare yourself for a tone switch.
—☆—
Isko hates these hallways. He hates their white, fluorescent lighting that bounces off their stupid marble floors. He hates their stupid golden archways, intricately carved with dozens of stupid triangles. He hates their stupid, endless, inescapable, see-through containment cells. He can hear the people inside them; he can see their misty glow. He can barely feel his own legs as he walks past them, focusing his gaze at the door at the end. He doesn’t want to go to the next room; He doesn’t want to see her.
Her. Vaiya. Even thinking of her name ignites a furious flame within Isko. He wants to slam her head down onto the control counter and throw her into the abyss. He wants to scream at her until his throat bleeds. He wants to rip out her soul and rush her karma. Why does he have to follow her every ord-?
Hands slam against the glass of the cell to Isko’s right. He flinches, hurrying up his pace. That’s why.
The flame flickers out, Isko solemnly reaching up to his face. The soul amalgamation behind him continues to beat their fists against the glass.
“F-f-f-” “F-F-” “F-f-f-f-” “F-f-f-”
“O-o-o-r-” “O-O-O-RR-” “O-o-o-o-r-” “O-o-”
“Tee-za!” “TTTEZA!” “Ttteeee-zza.” “Rteee-za!”
Isko doesn’t respond to their overlapping cries. The door feels like it’s getting further and further away. Is he even making progress? He has to be. He’s walking. Not that logic applies to him anymore, but he has to get there. His face feels like a mask glued to his skull. He can’t take it off. How much time does he have left? He feels nauseated, his stomach buzzing with painful tensity that he can’t will away. It feels like his throat is running with saliva, a coiled object choking him in the back of his throat, pushing him to the edge of gagging but never doing so. His tongue tastes disinfected, his nostrils burn in the sterile air, his hands shake as he reaches out to the doorknob-
But the door is still far away. Isko digs his claw-like nails into his arm before he can shout out a frustrated curse. Vaiya would hear him, and he doesn’t need more on his plate. He just needs to stay calm. Calm, calm, calm. He repeats the word as he walks forward, forcing his shoulders to relax.
Calm, calm, calm, calm…
There’s soul amalgamations staring at him, calculating.
Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm…
How many has he gotten for her now? How long have they been waiting?
They don’t get it. There’s nothing they can do. Vaiya will never let them go; Vaiya will never relent. Why are they still hoping? Just give up. The ones that give up are easier to look at. Melted puddles of nulled emotions, glassy eyes that stare into nothing.
Calm, calm, calm calm, calm, calm, calm, calm. It isn’t helping. Calm doesn’t even feel like a word anymore. Is he repeating calm or clam? Clamp? Triangular, golden clamps. Isko’s breath turns wheezy. It would be funny if it wasn’t terrifying.
The door is right in front of him. Golden triangles decorate its surface, their shiny exteriors reflecting a warped image of Isko’s face. He stumbles back with a start, squeezing his eyes shut. Hurry, Isko, hurry. It’s just a stupid reflection. He throws open the door with far too much urgency.
It is a common belief that each song represents a grade so I’m going to be going off that belief and also talking about the movie because its visuals are paired with the songs but not delving too deep into it’s plot.
*Favorite Lyrics from each song at the end :>*
First song: Wheels on the bus (Kindergarten)
During this song Crybaby is on the bus heading to school. She’s essentially describing the scenery of the bus and just what’s around her. The visuals show how annoying her classmates are, we also witness some of her classmates bully her for her gap. We see this boy Crybaby seems to have a crush on pass her to sit next to Kelly, Crybaby’s main bully. We also witness Crybaby and her friend use their powers (which are signified by black eyes which were alluded to in Crybaby, the first album) to play pranks on their annoying classmates and eventually save the bus from drowning when a distracted bus driver drives it into a lake.
Second Song: Class fight (First Grade)
In this song Crybaby and Kelly get into a fight, which is encouraged by both Crybaby’s parents. Nothing too much to say here…The fight is caused by jealousy over the boy previously mentioned and during this fight Crybaby uses her powers to nearly strangle Kelly until broken up by a teacher. In the visuals predating this song provided by the movie we see guards from the school drag a black boy away for not standing for the pledge of allegiance.
Third Song: The Principal (Second Grade)
In this song Crybaby expresses disdain for their principal after she learns that the school has been doping the kids up with pills to make them obedient. The viewers also get to see the displeasure of him firing a teacher because of their gender identity. We see a couple of students perform a dance to this song with the song in front of what I can assume is the school board.
The performance in front of the school board
Fourth Song: Show and Tell (Third Grade)
In this song Crybaby appears to be a puppet and she’s made to preform for the entertainment of her classmates during Show and Tell. The message of this song as I interpreted it is Melanie talking about fame and feeling like more of a prop under everyone’s eyes. The visual constantly switches between the actual Crybaby and a doll that resembles her and ends with the doll falling out bleeding and the class grimacing at the sight before refocusing their attention to something else.
Fifth Song: Nurses Office (Fourth Grade)
In this song Crybaby visits the nurse’s office, the lyrics suggest that Crybaby only does this to get out of class and hopefully go home. As far as visuals all we see is the nurse’s interesting ideas of treatment. The lyrics do entail more about her negative feeling towards class specifically being picked on and having a rude teacher.
Sixth Song: Drama Club (Fifth Grade)
In this song Crybaby gets into an argument with a guy in her class who appears to be misogynistic, talking down about women. To which she defends them and is taken away by guards similar to the ones who took away the black boy. I’ve spoken about the song itself before. Its lyrics doesn’t criticize the topics our society seems to be sensitive about themself but judges the criticism. Putting the feelings around in question. The visual for this song ends with Crybaby somehow snapping her classmates out of the trance being at the school has put them in during what looks like a school play, after they are freed, they all run to find the principal then rip him to pieces (literally they disembody him).
Seventh Song: Strawberry Shortcake (Sixth Grade)
Before this song begins, we see Crybaby and her friends having a conversation about what is usually deemed as female anatomy. The songs meaning is very apparent it’s a conversation on the culture of sexual assault and how the blame is very rarely placed on the perpetrator and instead put on the victim. It also mentions how young boys are excused for predatory behavior and how in response to said behavior young girls are just told to cover up. Also, certain lyrics speak about young girls compare their bodies to others.
Eighth Song: Lunchbox Friends (Seventh Grade)
Before this song begins one of Crybaby’s friends gets her first period and they struggle with finding a tampon. I interpret this song to be about the struggle to find loyalty within friends. I think it could also be relevant to Melanie (the woman who created and plays Crybaby) about how fame can make it complicated to form genuine relationships. I also think it could be about how most friends you make in school specifically so young won’t last forever or even till the end of the year, I get this from the lyric, “We can be friends if you wanna be but only till the clock hits three.” The visual for this song involves Crybaby being invited to sit with the popular girls (some of which bullied her, I’m looking at you Kelly) but turns them down for her real friends and ends up meeting another girl who like Crybaby and her other two friends, has powers.
Crybaby with the popular girls, you can see her real friends faintly in the back.
Ninth Song: Orange Juice (Eighth Grade) TW: eating disorders.
In this song we see one of the popular girls is clearly different from the rest is struggling with an eating disorder. The visual for this song provides very vivid imagery of her eating disorder. The song is essentially telling her how perfect she is. We also learn that this girl also has powers and becomes a part of Crybaby’s friend group.
Tenth Song: Detention (Ninth Grade)
In this song talks about faking your emotions to save face. And referencing this as being a sort of purgatory, detention. It mentions not actually being important to those over you and just being used for profit. The song references these people as teachers but for Melanie we can assume this means managers and people in charge of record labels. The visuals of this song also show the extent to which the school dopes these kids up, injecting them with syringes and binding them to their desks. We’re also introduced to this new character who is the principal’s son and frees Crybaby while seeming to be under some trance, possibly by Crybaby but we’re shown her eyes switching from black to normal signaling that she’s struggling to use her powers. We also get a visual of Crybaby dancing in a glass enclosure which she escapes from by the end and seems to be about to seek revenge on the kids she was made to dance for before the song ends. We also see a kid who was previously seen looking at Crybaby slide a note in her locker, becoming her secret admirer.
Eleventh Song: Teacher’s Pet (Tenth Grade) TW: Grooming
In this song Crybaby’s closest friend, the one whose been with her since the first song is being groomed by a teacher. The lyrics themselves describe a relationship between teacher and student, it is sung from a third person perspective at the beginning but then switches to the perspective of the student presumably heartbroken at the teacher not putting her first. It mentions the teacher having a wife and kids. They display the student’s disdain for being a secret and her justification for the relationship itself. And then being very upset when the teacher attempts to end the relationship. The visuals just show flirting between the two, still very disturbing to watch. Until the teacher shrinks her and attempts to dissect her until Crybaby comes in and saves her. We then see the student get revenge on the teacher; she kills him.
Twelfth Song: Highschool Sweethearts (Eleventh Grade)
This song talks about expectations when it comes to love and relationships. These expectations being to be accepted for yourself and not have your heartbroken. After this song we see her secret admirer attempting to work up the urge to ask her to the dance before being interrupted by the principals’ son) who asks her instead and takes credit for writing the note. She says yest to him.
Thirteenth Song; Recess (Twelfth Grade)
Before the song plays we see that the dance is trap set up by Leo (principal’s son) as revenge for killing his father). The song itself seems to be recounting the past which I think fits for the last year of high school and about not letting people exploit you or kill your spirit. And also about having everything you want and still not being happy. Crybaby manages to save the school and learns the true identity of her secret admirer, Ben who also has powers. The movie ends with a door opening for the girls which seems to hold all they’ve ever wanted, and Crybaby is faced with a choice between that or perusing a relationship with a Ben. The movie ends before she gets to make this choice.
note: The door is opened by Lillith a goddess who saved the girls from the nurses in nurses office and has been guiding them. She appears after rejecting them before telling them of their purpose at the school and that soon things will be better. Lillith is also an empath which is interesting to me given not only Crybaby’s name but also her sensitivity.
-Favorite Lyrics from each song:
Wheels on the Bus: “I know the drivers sees it. I know he’s peekin.”
Class Fight: “Teacher broke us up after I broke her. And my one true love called me a monster.”
Principal: “Shooting at the angels while claiming you’re a good guy.”
Show and Tell: “I’m just like you, you’re like me. Imperfect and human are we.
Nurse’s Office: “I’m pale as the loose-leaf paper they grow.” (bar)
Drama Club: “You’re faking all your pain yet you’re bleeding on a stage.”
Strawberry Shortcake: “Now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake. That’s my bad, that’s my bad, no one taught them not the grab.”
Lunchbox Friends: “We can be friends if you wanna be. But only till the clock hits three.”
Orange Juice: “Your body is perfectly imperfect.”
Detention: “You’re too busy seeking selfish wishes, look at how I’m feeling.”
Teacher’s Pet: “If I’m so special, why am I a secret.”
High School Sweethearts: “If you can’t handle a heart like mine, don’t waste your time with me.”
Recess: “People gonna try. To tell you that you’re fine with dollars in their eyes.”
Ok everyone, recently I’ve been rewatching many Scooby-Doo movies and shows. Not all of them but most and I just want to talk about them cause why not. Who doesn’t love Scooby-Doo?
So, everyone knows how all the movies and shows go. The Gang, Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby-doo go anywhere really (Is there a place these kids have gone that isn’t hunted) and they end up in the middle of a mystery and they try to solve the mystery fail a couple times then at the end they catch the “ghost”, which turns out to be just a person in a custom trying to either mess with people or steal from people.
So, as I’m writing this blog, I’m watching What’s New Scooby-Doo and it’s just really bringing back old memories of watching the show with my sisters in the living room at our old house eating cereal on the couch on Saturdays or in the afternoons after school.
Now I’m going to talk about my favorite Scooby-doo shows and movies.
Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated
Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated is an American animated television series that serves as the eleventh incarnation of the Scooby-Doo media franchise created by Hanna-Barbera. Scooby-Doo and the gang attempt to solve creepy mysteries in the town of Crystal Cove, a place with a history of eerie supernatural events. Out of all the Scooby-Doo shows this one has always been my favorite. The story in Mystery Inc. has always captivated me in many ways because unlike the other shows mystery inc. has an overarching story with a lot of history, which I really would love to talk about everything that goes on in this show but maybe another time.
2. What’s New Scooby-Doo?
Scooby-Doo and the Mystery, Inc. gang are launched into the 21st century, with new mysteries to solve. This show right here folks is what inspired this blog because as I’m writing this blog right now, I’m watching What’s New Scooby-Doo and it’s just really bringing back old memories of watching the show with my sisters. There isn’t a big story like Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated, but it’s still a great show to watch if like me you love the nostalgic feelings from an old show from your childhood.
3. Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!
This right here folks is the show that got me into Scooby-Doo to benign with. The show follows the adventures of teenagers Fred, Daphne, Velma, and Shaggy, and a dog named Scooby-Doo. They travel in a van known as The Mystery Machine, encountering and solving mysteries. As this show came out in 1969-1978 it was really old when I started watching it but as this was the Scooby-Doo my dad grew up watching. Then it became the Scooby-Doo that me and my sister grew up watching.
There are a lot of Scooby-Doo movies (even though google says there are only five that’s not true) that have been made since its debut in 1969. Including five live action movies, but I didn’t watch all five movies, but I did watch three out of the five, so gold star to me! The three movies below this are my favorites mainly for nostalgic feeling I get from watching them. The one live action movie I mention in the blog is the only one I remember the best because I really prefer the animated movies to the live action.
1.Scooby-Doo! and the Gourmet Ghost
2.Scoob
3.Scooby-Doo! The Mystery Begins
So that’s it for this blog tell me if any of you guys remember any of the shows I mentioned or the movies and tell me your favorite.
I kind of knew for this blog I didn’t want to talk about any shows or any books. The reason being, I have a ton of movies and shows I can rant about, but I want to save those for later. That’s why for this post I wanted to post one of my free writes that I used to start learning a new genre. I don’t know what genre this would be in specifically; I just know it’s not the genre I’m used to writing. Now, this is a free write, but it’s also an adaptation of something I already wrote. I wrote a poem named Magenta Lights in my second semester last school year. My English teacher really liked it but there were some problems with it, and it gained her, my math teacher, my mom, and the principal’s concern. When I remember that, I laugh so hard because I always find myself thinking “Why on Earth do they think I would write something like this?” I don’t know, but anyway I still have the poem, and this is what this post is based off of. I tried to turn it into a narrative, hopefully this one won’t send me to the principal’s office (kidding kidding). Anyway, the issue of what they thought I was writing, is a story for another day and if you want to see the original poem don’t be scared to ask. Thank You ?
Her phone illuminates the hazy pink atmosphere as it lays on the marble bathroom sink. She knows it’s the person she hates the most right now, so she doesn’t stop her tears from making waterfalls to peer at the message. She just sits on the cold moist floor with her head in her knees, while her muddy brown hair hangs like a curtain. It’s a good thing though because that curtain disguises her distress. She only wants to listen to her own racing heartbeat and not think about the roaring music that howls love songs, which only ends with heartbreak, in the background. She only wants to tear off the crop top that’s squeezing the life out of her blood circulation because the blue Care Bear face mocks her inner demons. She only wants to smell the cigars that spread about the ash trays like lit fireflies and not feel the stickiness of most likely someone’s inner dignity beneath her. Which was unfortunate because it makes her think about how soon her own dignity would be swirling in waves of shame down the abashment bowl. She sighs and lays her head on the barriers that defend her from the plastics she’s learned to love. Reflecting, finding the point when she believed she needed to be here.
Her phone illuminated the pastel paper atmosphere that embraced the cloud LED lights from her room. She knew it was the person that she loved the most at the moment. That’s why she ran faster than lightning to pick her phone off of her fuzz sea green sheets that were a shield enveloping her in a soundproof mind during the bashful nights. It was comical to her when she would find herself giggling and turning shades of magenta when she read the morning woes and the nightly serenades. She would always take her time to wipe the puddles of laughter to study and analyze each message. Her stuffies would turn away from her moments of shamelessness. Though she didn’t pay attention when she rolled around the bed allowing her chocolate brown hair to halo the bed in angel wings. It was a bad thing though because it always created static that would sting more pleasantly than her heart would. She only wanted to listen to his words of love and commitment that made her heartbeat and not think about the scenarios that all their doubters come up with. She only wanted to wrap herself in the crop top that he gave her for Christmas because the Care Bear makes her blood warm when she thinks about the symbolism of its fate. She only wanted to smell his cologne as it spread through her room every evening when he came to visit her. Not feel the dread in her lower throat when that girl pointed out soon her dignity would become a trophy he’ll have to show while his guilt is beneath him. Which was fortunate because she could express how he cherishes her dignity, allowing it to flow in his gilded bowl that holds her significance for him. She sighed and laid her head on the pillow that absorbed her tears that form under the statements of the plastics that hate her. Reflected, finding any truth that she is wrong when her world will turn upside down.
Her phone illuminates the blurred darkness that fumes from her misguided brain. The blue-ray light makes it past her eyelids that are fighting for life to be open. As her gummy gaze looks at the mirrored screen, she knows it’s the person she can’t stop thinking about the most. She looks around on the soaked floor, grimacing as her stringy hair pelts on her face like milked straw. The phone keeps lighting up repeatedly, the vibration contrasting from her numb heart. She is tired of it so she blows her runny nose in her Care Bear top, letting the snot scrunch the smile into a frown. She only wants to tune out all of the doubts that are actually concerns, from her mind. She wants to shove the ashtray off the sink, crashing to the floor, because it’s not fair that people want to damage their lungs while she’s suffering from a broken heart. Then it hurts. It hurts so badly which is unfortunate because it overbears the pain in her belly as dignity becomes blood curdling. She takes deep breaths above the sink drinking backup what she refuses to have come out. Because it isn’t worth it. The grotesque growl of the music gets louder as the lights bounce from yellow to red, from red to green, from green to blue, from blue to magenta until it stops when the barrier breaks letting in the white pale light of the plastics that aren’t recyclable and actually loves her. She sighs and lays her head on a chest while a hand rubs her back. As they lead her into the vivid night that is suffocating, she reflects on what point did her heart decide it can repair.
So, following the ideology of just “Letting ideas come to me,” I started to get nervous about whether or not I was going to have something to write about this week. That was until yesterday when fourth period let out. So, for a bit of pretty crucial context, I think it would help a good bit to give everyone a little update on my life.
I really wanted to have something in my life that I carried over here when I started here, and for me at least, that was tennis. Throughout my life I never really enjoyed sports. It never really made me feel happy in the same way it did other people, but either way my parents wanted me to play a sport. Therefore, I ended up playing tennis, and I didn’t stop. So now I find myself at MSA with over thirteen years of tennis under my belt. So, I decided that I was going to play tennis for BHS, and the one rule when it comes to that is that I have to be a student there, which I guess is reasonable. However, this meant I was going to have to take a class at, which of course I wasn’t excited about. Though I am still figuring out why. Maybe it is because the trip there takes longer than I’d like, maybe it’s the school, maybe it’s the stares that I get when I am there. But that’s not what I want to talk about, what I want to talk about is a feeling that I forgot about. Walking out yesterday I found myself sitting alone, surrounded by people, unfortunately I mean that in more of the literal sense than the metaphorical sense. And while I was waiting it gave me an odd sense of Deja vu. I hadn’t realized how long it had been since I needed to wait for a ride to get home from school, almost 6 months but in that time, it had felt like years, and it also made me think about after that. Think about that after this I won’t ever feel that feeling again, that feeling where I wonder what my mom packed me for lunch or if we actually had a pep rally today. I always hated pep rallies, but the idea of never going to one again is odd. I guess that is how it is for a lot of things, even if you hate something it’s hard to wrap your head around the idea that you might not be able to do it anymore. Maybe, I’m selfish, maybe I wanted the option.
Because I generally blog about things having to do with nature, I figured I could take a little break from analogy and deep meaning. Instead, I offer you a photo dump of 5 of my favorite nature photos that I’ve taken, as well as the stories behind them.
1. Fire
I love this picture not only because I am fascinated by fire, but also because the reason it was taken amuses me a lot. I took this picture at a girl’s bonfire birthday party in seventh grade. There were a bunch of people there that I didn’t know very well, so I went and sat by the fire to avoid social interaction. It would be weird to sit there doing nothing, so I decided to snap some photos. This beautiful moment was captured for the sole purpose of concealing my social ineptitude.
2. The Butterfly
Contrary to the previous photo, “The Butterfly” has significantly more meaning. The day before this was taken, my sister went on hospice care. We thought she wouldn’t make it through the week, so we vacated our house in Houston and went to the nearest beautiful beach we could get to, which happened to be in Galveston, Texas. When we got there, I went outside, enjoying the fresh air I hadn’t tasted for who knows how long (quarantining in a big city like Houston is suffocating in so many ways), and I caught sight of a butterfly partially buried in the sand. I tried for about three hours to keep it alive, dry off its wings, feed it sugar water or anything google said it could consume, but it finally ended up passing away, and I let it drift off into the ocean.
3. The Beach in Galveston
This was taken the morning after “The Butterfly,” at around 6:00 am. My family and I are from the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, but because my sister was getting medical care at Texas Children’s, we all lived in Houston for around a year and a half. One of the things we missed most was the sunrises and sunsets. We had to leave and go back to Houston that morning, so we were all desperate to grasp onto one more moment of beauty. We got up at about 5:30 and waited for the sun, hoping that it wouldn’t be stormy or cloudy so we could see the sky in all its morning glory. Luckily, we were not disappointed.
4. Frozen
I feel like many of these were taken in Texas, but alas. This photo was from February 2021. My family was still living in Houston then, during the big “Houston Freeze.” All of our power went out, we were running out of food, we had no heaters… the inside of our house was about 20-30 degrees, and my sister couldn’t even make it to the hospital to receive her treatments. It was scary and painful, but then, I walked outside, and I saw some of the most beautiful scenery I had ever experience. Powdery snow cloaked the ground and the rooftops in white, and everything was covered in a layer of frost. Because the cold came on so quickly, the plants didn’t have the chance to die out yet — they were just concealed in coats of ice that looked like glass magnifying their colors in contrast with all of the bleakness that surrounded them.
5. The Fallen Lantern
I think this last photo is my ultimate favorite. It wasn’t the best memory for me, but it is beautiful, and I desperately needed beauty on that day. The picture was taken at the lantern release after my sister’s funeral. The sunset was stunning, and seeing all the lanterns lighting up the sky in honor of her was one of the most touching experiences of my entire life. I think that this photo sums up how I felt about that day. Something beautiful had fallen out of the sky and landed in the water, its light being snuffed out way before it should have been — way before all of the other lanterns that still burned so brightly. However, the beauty of the scene and the silhouette of the girl going out into the freezing cold water to pick up the fallen lantern symbolized how our love for my sister has carried on even after she died, no matter how dark or cold that might feel for us.
That wraps up today’s blog! Thanks for reading, and please let me know if you’re ever in need of pretty pictures!
