Author: Michael Coleman

man, you know what is crazy? this time next year, i will be eighteen and about to graduate.

i have always thought about this time, but i never thought it would be here so soon. i am scared of what happens next and so should you.

i should be scared because whatever happens next is up to me, to a certain degree. you should be scared because i do not know what happens next. that made more sense in my head. my advice to you is to make sure you have it together before now. i sort of had mine together, but not as together as it could have been, you know? i want everyone behind me to be better than me.

keep these things in mind, while going through everyday:

“when you take risks, you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail. both are equally important.”

this is a lesson no one took the time to really teach me because it was always about winning and being the best. in reality, everyone can not be the best at everything. somebody has got to lose and learn the lesson. at the same token, i feel like the “winner” should learn something as well.

go for what you want and want for what you go. < get it! clever, right?

anyways.. things happen. life happens. and they both happen because you happened. be grateful for them happening. love them, learn from them, grown from them, never leave the lessons of them.

love, support, and inspire others. display to people what you want them to display to you. put out what you want to receive. the universe gives back the energy you send it. make all the energy you use, COUNT. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12th grade-college.

For some odd reason, the past couple of weeks have been very hectic. I have found myself, on numerous occasions, listening to Better Days by LeAndria Johnson. I just want to share a few of the lines in the song that speak to me on a spiritual level:

1.

It can be rough in this world
I know it ain’t easy but hang on in there
I know better days are coming

2.

Friends will leave you all by yourself
But don’t cry
Cause better days are coming

3.

I know people, people
They don’t see the hurt you feel inside
But keep on smiling ’cause everything will be alright

I hope this helps you half as much as it does me. As long as I keep this in mind, I’ll keep pushing.

At this point in my life, I’m all about motivation.

We were assigned an Oral History Project last week and here’s a snippet of my creative fiction piece, adapted from the project…

“my mind wondered into adulthood for a moment because I know parents do everything possible to protect their children. So, I posed a question regarding safety persuasions. I asked if there were any specific things his mother had taught him or his sisters, in case the dogs or the hose were put on them.

“Well, some of those things were taught at the mass meetings by the leaders. And she you know would go along with that. She would just tell us to be safe and to watch your surroundings and stuff. I think we were more concerned about her cause we all figured we could get around better than she could.”

By this point, I’m so deep into the conversation, that I hear nothing, but his voice and I automatically have my next question. I asked if he and his family were in the 50s or 60s, would he preach to his children what his mother preached to him and would he put his children in “harm’s way.”

His response was so powerful I couldn’t believe it. It proved to me that his passion, his strength as a man, and his determination for the rights of a black man or woman in America. He said, “As a matter of fact, I do and I would. I preach to ‘em everyday you know tellin’ ‘em, in fact, they can say what I’ma tell ‘em before I get it out my mouth cause they’ve heard it so much.”

As the interview came to an end, I asked what the difference between the rights of a black man then and now. He told me that he and his sisters had earned AT LEAST a bachelor’s degree. He also said that the place where his mother served as a maid, was the same place he later became the superintendent of – this proved to me that no matter how hard things may be right now, there’s always room for change. It also proved to me that all those sleepless nights, rough fights, and all-night prayer meetings, worked.”

tired. of trying

tired. of caring

tired. of wondering

tired. of wanting

tired. of breathing

why try? why try when trying leads to confusion. confused by people’s reasons and thoughts.

why care? why care when caring leads to disappointment. disappointed by the world.

why wonder? why wonder when wondering leads to pain. the pain of a man just trying to make it.

why want? why want when wanting leads to emptiness. the emptiness of a mind, body, and soul.

why breathe? why breathe the same air as those who hurt me? why breathe the same air as those who chose to tear me down? why breathe the same air as those who feel as if they are superior to me? why breathe the same air as those who leave me to bleed? why breathe the same air as those… those… those people.

Who are you?
What did you do to me?
When did you trap me in this love?
Where were we? 
Why not someone else?

Who am I to care about you?  Who am I to worry about you, every day? Who am I to run to you, even when I do not want to?

What is this feeling I feel when we talk and when we do not talk? What is this sound my heart makes when I hear your voice? What is this smile that comes, when you make me laugh, or the frown that comes when you make me cry? What is this disappointment I feel, when you let me down?

When did I fall? When did you fall, if you fell at all? When did we fall, if we fell together? When will you fall, or will you ever fall?

Where did I meet you? Where did you meet me? Where did we meet, what day, what time? Where will we meet again? Where will my heart meet yours, if they are on their way to the same destination?

Why do I love you? Why do you love me, if you love me at all? Why will you not tell me, or let me go?

All the questions I should not have if we were falling in love... together.

I am writing this for the comfort of others, in case there is anyone who feels and/or thinks the same way as I....

I constantly tell people it is not safe to leave me anywhere alone. Simply because it means all that I have is me and my thoughts. Those things are not safe, at all. Most of the time, I do a mental re-cap of my day. I think about the things I did,the things I could have done, the things I should not have done, the things I said, the things I could have said, or the things I should not have said.

And if I am not doing that, I am over-thinking about the things I have to do for the next day, week, month, or year. Lately, I have been finding myself doing it more than usual though. I honestly believe it is because of the time of year it is. It is getting close to the end of the year, which means that I am about to be a senior. That also means that next year, people are going to be really looking up to me. In my mind, I keep asking myself, “Is this really happening, right now?” Surprisingly, myself answers back and says, “Yeah, it is. There is nothing you or I can do about it. So, buckle up and prepare for the ride.” It is just…. unbelievable.

I am already planning out all of the activities I am going to do or lead, the room I want to reside in, who I want to reside with (both room and suite wise), and what all I want for the room. I did not realize that I am such a critical thinker, especially of myself. I do not necessarily think it is a bad thing though. It just makes me feel as though I have a lot on me. Even though I know most of this stuff is not due until NEXT YEAR. I will be alright though, I think.

See what I mean about leaving me with my thoughts. This is what happens when I'm left with my thoughts. SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!

I started thoroughly enjoying music around the age of four, listening to Fantasia Barrino and Lee Williams. After listening to these artists for a while, I began mimicking the words and sounds in their songs. Four years later, I grew a strong interest in singing. So much so that I joined both my school and church choir. One afternoon, my school’s choir director heard my voice and encouraged me to perform a solo at the next school event. I did and I have been singing every day since then. Now, I occasionally perform at different venues. Audience members often say that I have a beautiful or soulful voice. That alone is all the motivation I need to keep going. Then, I was introduced to the band in the sixth grade. After taking the certification tests, I chose to study the saxophone. In the sixth grade, I could barely play the B-flat scale. By my middle school years, I had grown so much that I could play clarinet parts. Once I reached high school, I had become so well that my band director considered naming me the drum-major. Overall, music has been not only been influential, but an experience of growth. 

Dance has been more of an outlet for me. It all began with my cousins and I dancing in my living room, which lead to me joining the praise and mime ministry at church. Because of the rush I got from it, I explored different styles of dance and stumbled upon interpretive dance, hip-hop, and drill. From that point on, I spent day in and day out watching and attempting to execute the moves of those styles of dance. Now, I use those movements as an outlet for my emotions to flow through my body. For example, when I am under a lot of pressure, I use a more aggressive style of dance to release some steam. If I’m feeling down, I’ll use interpretive dance to release the energy. At school, people will stop in front of the gym and watch. Then, they will come in and say, “I just love how you dance.” Although it is a therapeutic mechanism, I am glad other people can enjoy it as much as I do.

My writing, however, comes naturally. Because I am a firm believer in “no one can tell your story better than you can”, I write from personal experience. There are times when I can pull out a sheet of paper, start writing, and not know one word that I am writing. But by the time I put my pen or pencil down, there is an entire story on the page. I cherish every syllable, word, paragraph, poem, essay, story, and play. My discipline teacher has even stated, “I enjoy that you have taken the initiative to start stepping out of your usual writing style. It is working for you. Keep it up.” So, this must have been one of the best decisions I could have made as a writer because I am growing every day. I aspire to one day write an autobiography about my journey and upbringing. I cherish my beloved pieces of work, for it is my passion.

everyday, i wake up
with a head-ache and a heart-ache 
now knowing what the day is going to bring
but still living with the same pain from yesterday
and the day before
and then the week before
and the month before
and then the year before 
because no one can see right through me
no one can see that this life in shambles
is it because i hide it so well?
with this perfectly shaped box
with these glistening eyes
with these glossy lips
with this heavy tone
with this bright smile 
with these dressy clothes
but who am i, really?
do you know?

Happy Black History Month to all! This year, I have found myself drowning in different poems and quotes that show some form of tribute to the “African-American community” to celebrate this month. For example, one of my Poetry Out Loud pieces:

BLK History Month by Nikki Giovanni

If black history month is not viable, then wind does not drop the seed and carry them on fertile ground. Rain does not dampen the land and encourage the seeds to root. Sun does not warm the earth and kiss the seedlings and tell them plain. You’re As Good As Anybody Else. You’ve Got A Place Here, Too.

The simple comparisons in this poem make the point she is trying to make so bold. I absolutely love it. Every morning, as soon as I wake up, I find a quote that I can go to throughout the day to help me to make it through. Here are a few:

“I consider myself a crayon… I may not be your favorite color but one day you’ll need me to complete your picture.” -Lauryn Hill

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.” -Booker T. Washington

“I didn’t learn to be quiet when I had an opinion. The reason they knew who I was is because I TOLD THEM.” -Ursula Burns

“The future belongs to those who prepare for it today.” -Malcolm X

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change we seek.” -Barack Obama

And the one I have chosen for today is…

“The arts are not just a nice thing to have or to do if there is free time or if one can afford it. Rather, paintings and poetry, muscle and fashion, design and dialogue, they all define who we are as people and provide an account of our history for the next generation.” -Michelle Obama

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know these are some great motivation to start and end my day. To know that there are still people who care and appreciate the lives of black people puts a huge smile on my face.

Oh, I almost forgot… MY BIRTHDAY IS THIS MONTH!!!!
So, if you see me on February 28th, if it won’t cause you a problem, tell your boy HAPPY BIRTHDAY, please. K, thanks. LOL!

Dear Mr. Kevin Hart,

             This book was an inspiration, aw well as somewhat of a mirror of my life. Much to my surprise, we have gone through some very similar situations. You know sometimes when I go through things, I feel like I am the only one, so it was like a breath of fresh air to know that I am not alone.

            The chapters that stood out the most were: Life Lessons from Dad, Life Lessons from Mom, Life Lessons from The Grind, Life Lessons from Obstacles, Life Lessons from Loss, and Life Lessons from Success. If you don’t mind, I would like to tell you why.

             When I read the title Life Lessons from Dad, I thought it would be about how your dad taught you how to be a man growing up. As I began reading, I saw that your dad taught you what not to do instead of what to do. Mine did the same thing. Then when I read the title Life Lessons from Mom, I thought it would be about the few things in life your mother could teach you about being a man. As I read, I saw that your mother showed you that when you must take care of business, that is just what you had to do, especially when there are children involved.

             Next, I read the title Life Lessons from The Grind, I thought it would be about the things you learned while trying to make a name for yourself. It was exactly that. Then I read the title Life Lessons from Obstacles, I thought it would be about the things you learned during the times that bad things started to happen. It was exactly that.

             At this point, I’m just not knowing what to expect, which is great, may I add. So, I read the title Lessons from Loss, and I thought it would be about the people or interest you would lose in certain things/people. Although it was that, it was also about the loss of the things and people you cherish too. And when I read Life Lessons form Success, I thought it would be about the wonderful things that come with success. It was like that, but much like Life Lessons from Loss, you would lose a lot with success.

             I say all of this to simply say that the way your formatted, organized, and wrote the book not only kept me wanting to read more, but also kept me not knowing what to expect. When writing something as grand as a book, that is a great thing to be able to do. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this. I’m more than positive that I am not the only person who is inspired by this book. Please keep doing your thing.