I am writing this for the comfort of others, in case there is anyone who feels and/or thinks the same way as I....
I constantly tell people it is not safe to leave me anywhere alone. Simply because it means all that I have is me and my thoughts. Those things are not safe, at all. Most of the time, I do a mental re-cap of my day. I think about the things I did,the things I could have done, the things I should not have done, the things I said, the things I could have said, or the things I should not have said.
And if I am not doing that, I am over-thinking about the things I have to do for the next day, week, month, or year. Lately, I have been finding myself doing it more than usual though. I honestly believe it is because of the time of year it is. It is getting close to the end of the year, which means that I am about to be a senior. That also means that next year, people are going to be really looking up to me. In my mind, I keep asking myself, “Is this really happening, right now?” Surprisingly, myself answers back and says, “Yeah, it is. There is nothing you or I can do about it. So, buckle up and prepare for the ride.” It is just…. unbelievable.
I am already planning out all of the activities I am going to do or lead, the room I want to reside in, who I want to reside with (both room and suite wise), and what all I want for the room. I did not realize that I am such a critical thinker, especially of myself. I do not necessarily think it is a bad thing though. It just makes me feel as though I have a lot on me. Even though I know most of this stuff is not due until NEXT YEAR. I will be alright though, I think.
See what I mean about leaving me with my thoughts. This is what happens when I'm left with my thoughts. SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!
I tend to overthink things as well, we really are our own worst critics.