hello everyone !! so, this is a little last minute blog, but i thought it would be pretty cool to have a smaller laid back post after the influx of my highly detailed music odes. so yeah, i’m just going to be talking about my future after high school !! let’s get into it.
okay so, after graduating i will be applying to the honors college at ole miss !! for so long i’ve debated on where to go to college, and some part of me still wants to apply to the old ivy league schools i used to dream of (i’m looking at you, yale). maybe i will just for fun, but going to the university of mississippi is much more convenient and useful for me as a writer ! i will be majoring in journalism and minoring in something most likely related to english. i haven’t really thought about a minor, but i know i’ll be majoring in journalism. the thing that i’m scared about regarding that major is ending up with a boring job as a journalist for a boring magazine. i want to work for a music magazine, as writing about music is one of my biggest passions. i also want to BE a musician, but i’ve decided on doing that in my spare time rather than basing my entire life on it. however, if i get enough traction, i will happily drop everything to become a full time musician.
the honors college wasn’t something i really thought of until my amazing awesome cool rad friend locklyn recommended it to me !! i’ve always thought of going to ole miss, but i never really fully decided until this year. the honors college has so many features that are so appealing and i’m very determined to get in. i’m currently working on building my resume and adding more things to my name that will help increase my changes of getting in. when i’m in college, i want to work at a small part-time job. ideally, i’ll try working at the end of all music: a record store in oxford. i’ve been thinking about working there since before i even decided i wanted to go to ole miss (so for about a year). if i can’t work there, then any other store related to my interests will suffice.
after college, i have no idea what i want to do. i know i want to work for a music magazine, so i guess i’ll just go wherever that takes me. i know i want to live outside the state for a while, so if a job opportunity in another state comes up, i’ll use that as an opportunity to travel outside of mississippi. i know i want to continue doing the things i do now. i don’t want to be true professional, and i want to have a lot of fun. i want to live near a skatepark so after work i can skate with a couple of friends and explore the town at night. i want to do all the stupid teenage things i wasn’t able to do as a teenager: only after my future is secured.
after that, i don’t know. i want to keep music and writing in my life, but i doubt i’ll continuing writing the same way i write now. i’ll always be a writer, but i’m sure i won’t actually create creative pieces expect for once a year or so (whenever it comes to me, really). but yeah. that’s what i have planned out for my future. i never want to be old and boring, so if you ever meet me again while i’m living this future, i hope you’ll be able to confidently say that i never really changed.
so, we all knew this was coming. how can i have a series of odes to my favorite musicians without dedicating one to my favorite artist of all time? although he wasn’t the first one, he will definitely be the most fleshed out edition to this series. this post might be quite long, so i want to keep the intro as short as i can. so, without further ado, here is an ode to elliott smith
the early years: the location and upbringing of elliott smith
steven paul smith was born august 6th, 1969 in omaha, nebraska. for the majority of his childhood, he was raised in texas with his mother and stepfather. smith had a hard childhood, and suffered a strained relationship with his stepfather. later in his life, he would come out with stories about the abuse he suffered in his childhood home. smith started playing the piano at age 9, and quickly grew a large love for music. in later interviews in which he was asked how he learned how to play certain songs as a kid, he stated he would record a part of a song and play it over and over while attempting to match the notes. later, when he was ten, he started playing guitar- the instrument that would cement him as one of the greatest musicians of all time. at age 14, smith moved away from his mother in texas and went to live with his father in portland, oregon. during high school, smith would begin to experiment with recording music and even join the school band. outside of that, he also began to create his own bands, and was apart of the bands “stranger than fiction” and “a murder of crows.” he graduated from lincoln high school as a national merit scholar. shortly after graduation, he began to go by the name “elliott.”
dead air, cop and speeder, and yellow no. 5: heatmiser and elliott smith’s punk years
after graduating from hampshire college, elliott began to work in a bakery in portland despite having a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and political science. during this time, the band heatmiser was formed. the band consisted of guitarist and backup vocalist elliott smith, lead singer neil gust, drummer tony lash, and bassist brandt peterson. the band started performing in local venues in portland around 1992. under the heatmiser name, the group released the albums “dead air,” “cop and speeder,” and “yellow no. 5.” later, the group would release their final album before splitting, “mic city sons.” smith had already begun his solo career while in the band, and worked various construction jobs while recording what would later become his first solo album, roman candle. the contrast between elliott’s punk vocals and style in heatmiser and his softer melancholic tone in his solo music is often a shock for most, sometimes even elliott himself. while working on and releasing their album “cop and speeder,” elliott released his debut album “roman candle” and began to perform in small, local venues once again.
in this song, elliott smith is singing lead.
roman candle: lofi beginnings
in 1994, the debut solo album from smith was released until the title “roman candle.” the album featured 9 songs on it- to elliott’s shock, as he had originally signed a deal for a 7 inch record. the album is the calm after the grunge storm of the late 1990s. before its release, elliott claimed he did not expect the album to be well-liked because of the grunge movement. but once again to his shock, the album was incredibly well-received, and smith’s name was being brought up everywhere in the portland scene. while performing solo shows, smith often created sets of combined acoustic heatmiser tracks with his solo ones. a year after the release of roman candle, elliott would begin working on what would become his two biggest albums.
self-titled, either/or, and an academy nomination: elliott smith
in 1995, elliott smith released his self-titled album. while the album was similar in style to the previous debut album, the self-titled album was of greater recording quality and the songwriting showed significant improvement. songs like “needle in the hay” and “the biggest lie” began to cement elliott as a dark, depressing artist in the folk scene. smith would later resent this idea of him, attempting to diversify his songwriting in the hopes of erasing that characteristic. in 1997, elliott released what would later become his most well-known album, either/or. while the self-titled album introduced more instrumentation into elliott’s songwriting, either/or was arguably the single album that drove elliott to begin using more instruments in his music, later becoming more apparent in his album “xo.” songs like “angeles” and “between the bars” drove him to being featured everywhere, notably in director gus van sant’s movies. later, sant would create a movie titled “good will hunting,” and would call upon smith to create a song for the movie. many of smith’s songs were featured in the movie, but he created the song “miss misery” for it and got an academy nomination because of it. while he was nominated for the song, he did not win. he did, however, perform at the oscars, shooting his popularity into an unmeasurable size.
xo and figure 8: the beginning of the end
when creating his album xo, smith began to fall deeper and deeper into a depression. he talked about the idea of suicide frequently, and even had a failed attempt in which he threw himself off of a cliff. he was injured, but in the end survived. in 1998, elliott released xo and it received high praise. this album featured the largest group of instruments on any elliott smith solo album, and shortly after its released it was followed by a tour. smith began to appear on television more frequently, and even performed waltz #2 on saturday night live the same year. during a dutch special, smith performed “miss misery,” “i didn’t understand,” and “waltz #2,”- the last of which he stopped mid-song, claiming he “just couldn’t do it anymore.” in 2000, smith would release his final fully completed album, figure 8. around this time, he battled with addiction and would often perform shows too high and/or drunk to even speak. figure 8 was recorded at abbey road studios and was once again praised by the general public after its release. a tour followed the release and even more late night show performances took place, including one on conan and david letterman. smith grew addicted to heroin and his state started to worsen towards the end of the figure 8 tour.
a basement on the hill: addiction and recovery
while recording his final album- which would never be completely finished on his own- smith’s addiction grew worse. his paranoid increased and he began distancing himself from everyone helping him on the new album, leading to a delay in recording. even when smith was able to hold a session, it was often he would get kicked out of it for being high or abusing substances during the session. many times during the recording of the album smith would scrap it in its entirety. along with the album, smith had a lack of time to perform locally like he used to. he would more often than not choose to cancel most shows, and when he was able to make it, he was almost always on something during the shows. he would often leave the shows mid-set after messing up a couple songs. elliott was a perfectionist when it came to playing live sets, and that affected him greatly when he was no longer able to play with the same dexterity due to his substance abuse. in 2002, smith and his girlfriend were arrested for standing up for a man he believed was being abused by the police. they spent two nights in jail, and smith suffered injuries from the arrest that caused him to cancel even more shows. when he did play shows, he would tease songs for his upcoming album. he attempted to start rehab multiple times, but each time he was unable to find what worked best for him. slowly but surely though, smith began to fight his addiction. he continued scheduling shows to attempt to build his credit as an artist back up, but he was still struggling as his addiction had lasting effects on him during that period of time. as he continued to record a basement on the hill, he slowly got sober. right after his birthday in 2003, he completely cut out alcohol and even began to cut out red meat, sugar, and completely transform his diet. he also completely stopped using drugs, and close friends recalled him being at an ultimate high point in his life. he was doing well, and he was making unbelievable progress on the record. however, later that year, elliott smith would face a heartbreaking fate, putting a halt to his music and legacy, and most importantly, his life.
death.
elliott smith died on october 21st, 2003. he was 34 years old. he and his girlfriend were in their home in california when they got into an argument. his girlfriend, jennifer chiba, went to the bathroom and locked herself in there when she heard a scream from the living room. she ran into the room to find elliott with a knife to his chest. she pulled out the knife (she was a nurse at the time, which means she must have known pulling out the knife would have caused him to bleed out) and he fell to floor which caused chiba to call 911. elliott smith died in the hospital at 1:36pm. a suicide note was found on the scene- but with one problem: his name was misspelled on the suicide note. during an autopsy, doctors found no hesitation wounds on elliott- which are always present on suicide cases in which a knife has been used. while the first ruling of death was claimed to be a suicide, later it was opened up to be a possible homicide. we may never know what actually happened, but if you ask me, i think the reason for his death was right there in the room with him. a memorial was held for him at the same wall where the album cover for his 2000 album figure 8 was taken.
lasting impact and how he changed my life: the experience of elliott smith
elliott smith completely changed the music scene, and he has been a beloved musician throughout the ages since his death. while the circumstances around his death are deeply sad and troubling, we continue to celebrate his life and his creativity through tribute shows and memorials. he has inspired so many young musicians, including me. elliott’s music has been in my life since i was a very young child, and as soon as i learned to love music, i loved him. he has figuratively and literally saved my life time and time again, and i truly wouldn’t be here without him. he inspires me to write, create, and just as he was- be kind. not a day goes by that i don’t feel his legacy in my own life, and to end this blog i wish to introduce you to a song that will forever cement itself in my heart and my favorite song ever written. it has saved my life multiple times and it will continue to give me reason. here is “angeles.” elliott, we love you.
“i can make you satisfied in everything you do. all your secret wishes could right now be coming true, and be forever with my poison arms around you.”
“no one’s gonna fool around with us, no one’s gonna fool around with us, so glad to meet you, angeles.”
i’ve decided to make my music odes a series, and for the second artist in the series, i have decided to focus in on the music, rather than the details of his life and how he grew prominent in the music industry. jeff buckley is an artist that devastatingly took over my life within a matter of a couple weeks. his influence on my own art has been prominent ever since that first listen. his voice, his writing, his demeanor- all have contributed to my own growth as a human. not only has he contributed to the inspiration and life of millions of teenagers like me, but he has changed the music industry and even what we define as masculine. please allow me to introduce an ode to jeff buckley.
music in genetics: the upbringing of jeff buckley
jeff buckley was born in anaheim, california, to the musician tim buckley and his ex-wife, mary guilbert. jeff’s father, tim, set the path for the musician’s life, cementing the idea of creating in his head from an early age. however, jeff was not raised by his own father, but instead his stepfather along with his mother. he lived in california with his half-brother during an upbringing he titled “rootless trailer trash.” before his biological father’s death, jeff went by scott moorhead. after his father’s passing, he changed his last name to buckley and chose to go by his biological first name, jeff. even though he was not brought up around his father for a large portion of his life, he still had so much musical influence around him. his mother was a pianist and cellist and his stepfather introduced him bands like led zeppelin, pink floyd, jimi hendrix, and the who. at 12, he decided to start creating his own music, and received his first guitar at age 13. throughout high school, he played in different bands and developed a love for progressive rock. after he graduated, he attended the musicians institute for one year, later claiming it was “the biggest waste of time.”
the anticipation of a masterpiece: life before grace
before releasing his album, grace- which we will spend more than enough time talking about later in the blog- jeff passed his time in many smaller unrecognized bands before going solo. for six years after attending the musicians institute, jeff worked in a hotel while playing guitar in various bands that stretched across a large number of genres. throughout different trips to new york, jeff began writing the songs “mojo pin” and “grace,” two songs that would later be featured on grace. he then began to perform at small venues solo and started getting heavy attention from different record label executives. buckley then signed with columbia records and set off on recording his first EP, which would include four songs and a cover of van morrison’s “the way that young lovers do.”
grace: the masterpiece
in august of 1994, buckley’s first and only studio album, grace, was released. it featured the following songs: mojo pin, grace, last goodbye, lilac wine, so real, hallelujah, lover you should’ve come over, corpus christi carol, eternal life, and dream brother. the album has been claimed to be one of the greatest of all time, and is listed in rolling stones’ top 500 albums of all time. the album has also achieved platinum 8x in australia and was ranked 99 in a list of the top 1,000 albums of all time. buckley’s voice is like no other, not even his father’s, and his writing transcends the hot topics of the 90s that other musicians at the time were still infatuated with. songs like “lover, you should’ve come over” have proven to overstep time, as its popularity is still prevalent in society today. “grace” will forever be known as buckley’s magnum opus, even gaining attention from folk music legend, bob dylan- who claimed buckley to be “one of the greatest songwriters of this decade.”
last goodbye: the end of jeff buckley, the beginning of the legacy
while swimming in the wolf river harbor- contained within the mississippi river- jeff buckley passed away due to an accidental drowning. he was 30 years old. after his death, numerous collections were released, including many previously unreleased songs. his life and work have been celebrated over the years, even gaining attraction recently from his song “lover, you should’ve come over.” his name has been referenced in a wide variety of films, and musicians today continue to draw inspiration from his unique sound and voice. jeff buckley will forever be an artist that completely changed how i interpret music, and now i’d like to introduce him to you too. here is “lilac wine.”
car seat headrest is a band i was introduced to in march of 2022. i vividly remember checking my discover weekly on spotify and seeing the band and their song “it’s only sex” on the playlist. i had heard of them before, so i decided to check them out by listening to the song featured on the playlist. i remember thinking that the band sounded not at all like i had expected, so i went to their artist page and listened to the song “sober to death.” something happened when i listened to that song, and i immediately became obsessed with the band in its entirety. in that same night, i explored the majority of their discography and sparked a love that i am still feeling to this day. even now, when i hear “sober to death,” a certain part of me is awakened, something that rarely happened before i found the band. this week’s blog is an ode to car seat headrest: the band that changed me.
a teenager dancing in his dorm to his own song; will toledo and the early albums
car seat headrest was originally composed of one member, will toledo, who started the band when he graduated high school. the name stems from the place where he recorded most of his music: his car. he released four albums, named in order as 1, 2, 3, and 4. while 1 and 2 had a lack of structure, and displayed toledo’s experimentation in the early days of the band, 3 and 4 showed his later developed indie style. he would go on the release the “sunburned shirts ep,” followed by the album “my back is killing me baby,” which would include the song “something soon.” a student at virginia commonwealth university, toledo decided to record a music video by setting up a camera in his dorm and dancing to his own song. the video is a testament to the transition between teenage emotions and adulthood expectations, and has never failed at making someone like me- who is in between those stages- emotional. this is something toledo has proven to master in his music: raw emotion in relation to teenage development. however, it wouldn’t be until his release of arguably his magnum opus, “twin fantasy,” that people would start to take notice.
teenage love, dog motifs, and the start of something big
after transferring to william & mary, toledo found himself in the midst of a confusing and messy relationship. he found this relationship weaving its way into his music, and in 2011, he compiled those thoughts together and released the album “twin fantasy.” the album cover itself is notable, as it is two dog-like figures holding each other in an optical illusion. the album follows the interactions and love/hatred between toledo and his lover at the time. the album gained a cult following, and soon the band would follow up in 2018 with a re-recording of the album, now with three other members: ethan ives (guitar), andrew katz (drums), and seth dalby (bass). with this release, the album gained an even larger following. the original 2011 recording of the album is regarded as the “mirror to mirror” version, whereas the 2018 recording is the “face to face” version. depending on the recording, the album cover switches orientation. just a year before the rerelease of twin fantasy, toledo and the band released the albums, “monomania,” “disjecta membra,” “nervous young man,” “teens of style,” and “teens of denial,”- the last of which shot the band up in popularity once again.
making a door less open and sudden change; the future of car seat headrest
after the release of the face to face version of twin fantasy, the band set off to finally create new songs again. because the songs on twin fantasy were already previously created, the last album the band worked on and created together was 2016’s teens of denial, making a brand new album overdue. in 2020, the band announced the studio album “making a door less open.” this album introduced the character “trait” to the band, sparking will’s future of dressing up as the character at live shows. along with the announcement, the band released “can’t cool me down” as a single. the style difference between teens of denial and making a door less open are drastic- the band trading out their traditional indie-rock instrumentation for more hints of electronic and edm in their music. once released, the album received poor reviews, most fans upset about the sudden change in style. others argue that the change was executed perfectly and welcomed the new style the band had adopted. songs like “there must be more than blood” have been praised by fans of the band, even securing an acoustic version on youtube. while on tour in 2022, lead singer will toledo developed long covid and canceled a large number of shows. as of now, it is not apparent whether will has fully recovered, but with the amount of time it’s been, it is likely that he is still dealing with issues from the illness. the band is rumored to release a new album within the next two years.
crying during class, dancing alone in my room, and finding true acceptance; my experience with the band and their music
after finding the band in 2022, i went through an emotional rollercoaster. i’ve had many moments where i’ve found myself in music, but never has it happened quite like it did with car seat headrest (except of course elliott smith). i found a sense of belonging in the awkwardly-written teenage lines of twin fantasy, and i found happiness in between the sparkly guitars of teens of denial. in april of 2022, i prepared myself to see the band live. however, due to will’s sickness, the show was canceled and would not be rescheduled. emotionally, i was a wreck: before and after this. those previous and upcoming months i spent every second of the day listening to the band’s music. i remember distinctly arriving at school, sitting in the corner of the gym and listen to “something soon” on repeat while silently sobbing only to come home that day and listen to it again- this time dancing the cries out. after a couple obsessive months, i slowly fell out of the habits i developed around the band. it’s been a quite bit of time since i’ve distanced myself from their music: an uncomfortable quiet- the quiet before a breakdown that cements itself in your memories. with a declining mental state comes the revisitation of car seat headrest. that’s not to say you can’t listen to the band during any other state, if anything, the band covers all bases. to mirror this idea, and to close the blog, i’d like to introduce the song “beach life-in-death,” the climax of a song series dating back to the numbered albums. please, allow yourself to listen to this song.. in its 13 minute glory ..and feel every emotion this band has made me feel over the past year. enjoy, and goodbye.
side note: as writers, we must explore all forms of writing, even in the song medium. please, notice the writing as you listen to the song, and let me know what you got from it.
hello. today i’m going to devote this entire blog just to things i love. small things, big things, people, inanimate objects. just everything i truly love. (yes i am running out of ideas).
a long list of everything i love.
music
good acoustics
the sound of a perfect acoustic guitar
elliott smith
the song “angeles”
songwriting
perfect lyrics
poetry
a combination of words that is just right
rhythm games
getting totally distracted by rhythm games
human nature
whenever i debate my own human nature
sitting down and listening to albums all the way through
the fall of 2022
my boyfriend
october as a whole
haunted houses
david foster wallace
infinite jest
friends who love books
the way “prozac nation” by elizabeth wurtzel feels
being imperfect
waking up and not getting out of bed until an hour later
being late to class but almost on time
beating procrastination
my obsessive traits
finding friends who just get it
the experiences people have brought to me
my self respect
the voice in my head
my inner monologue would be better phrasing
having ideas come to me randomly
writing in a hurried state as soon as the idea comes
my family, forever.
the tv show succession
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
graham coxon
jennifer aniston
my close inner circle of friends
hippie culture
reading about the 70s
learning about WWII
donuts
going out because “why not”
writing in general
writing this knowing i’ll later remember so many things i left out
my cat, izzy.
rest in peace.
so yeah, that’s it. just a simple blog to try and get my mind going with some writing ideas. have a good week.
hello. it has been a while since i’ve done one of these, so i’d like to refresh everyone with a new edition to the series. i am slightly running out of ideas, so i’ll be using this post as an easy way to get back on track. anyways, here are the songs currently in my rotation !!
thy mission – the garden
the attitude that the garden present in their music is absolutely addicting. i had this song liked for a while, but i never really listened to it as much as i have recently. i love the lyrics, and i especially love the way they are sung. this song reminds me of the ideal group of friends i imagined i’d have by now. it overall reminds me of being a teenager, and more specifically, being a dumb teenager.
call the dogs out – the garden
another one from the garden. i liked the attitude in the last song, but in this song, i 100% love it. there are some days when i’m just annoyed by everyone and everything, and this song is the perfect additive for those days. whenever i get in those moods, it’s best to just amplify them and allow myself to be annoyed for a day. i don’t know why, but being annoyed is so much more enjoyable when this song is playing.
alone again (naturally) – guilbert o’sullivan
even just hearing the chord progression in the beginning of this song makes me teary-eyed. it didn’t use to affect me much, but after the bad spell of emotions i’ve been having recently, the song absolutely breaks me. i found it because someone said it sounded like what the beatles would of sounded like if they were still together in the 70s (to whoever said that: you weren’t kidding). the lyrics are so desperately sad, but the way it’s sung almost passes the emotions over as any ordinary event. i guess that’s where the title comes in. alone again, naturally.
the only living boy in new york – simon and garkfunkel
i love simon and garfunkel. this song is so homey to me, and i genuinely love it so much. it’s so light and almost melancholic. however, i don’t think the lyrics reflect those two descriptions in the slightest. or maybe they do. this is definitely my favorite song by them, and i love listening to it during rainy car rides on the interstate- much like the ending scene of good will hunting with elliott smith’s miss misery playing.
swamp – the talking heads
i’ve also had this song liked for a while, but i never listened to it much until i decided to clean my entire room at home while listening to the talking heads on shuffle. this song came on, and something about it drew me in. it doesn’t sound like a talking heads song i would even like, but i do- increasingly so with every listen. i think it’s the chorus. the melodies in the chorus are so addicting, and leave it up to the talking heads to create some of the most catchy rhythms and melodies.
my sweet lord – george harrison
before you say anything, this song is not about any religion in particular. however, at the end george does sing the hare krishna mantra of the hindu organization he follows, which i think is really cool. i absolutely adore george harrison, and i don’t care that this song is his most popular, it’s 100% my favorite. for some reason, it reminds me of looking out of the window of my moms car at the passing forest scenery. the guitar riff is instantly recognizable, and even the mantra at the end of the song becomes this sort of catchy riff.
so yeah !! that’s some of the songs that i’ve really been into recently. thanks for reading !
hello hello hi hi hi how are you guys i am doing good yes yes yes. okay, so, genuinely have been running out of ideas lately. i haven’t done a lot of non-list themed blogs… and i’m not going to start now. we’re doing another list blog !!! (woo) and this time i am going to be talking about some of my dream guitars. as of now, i currently have four guitars: two electric and two acoustic. as much as i love them, there is only one that i would consider to be a “dream guitar”, and it’s broken</3. so, with that being said, here are the guitars that i do in fact consider to be my dream guitars.
the kurt cobain jag-stang
oh how i would love my own bright red kurt cobain jag-stang. i am absolutely partial to fender guitars, and both of my electrics are made by fender. i’m also extremely partial to telecasters, but there is something about the jag-stang that has me in a chokehold. maybe it’s the bright red color, i don’t know- but i find myself thinking about this guitar all the time. seeing it in person has been a truly euphoric experience for me, as its beauty cannot be defined just by photos. also, the most important part: it sounds kickass.
the jimmy page mirror telecaster
now, i’m not a huge zeppelin fan, but i cannot deny how rad this guitar is. there’s something so,,, psychedelic about it to me. and if you know me, you know i absolutely love everything psychedelic (hehe). i haven’t heard a lot of demos from this guitar, but just from the price and the fact that it’s fender, i have no doubts in my mind that is plays beautifully. i would absolutely kill for this guitar, and i’d definitely want to see it being played in a dimly lit setting with different colored lights: that would be awesome.
1966 rickenbacker
now this one is a love purely based on looks, or, maybe the fact that george harrison played a rickenbacker. i first found this guitar on a beatles cover video, and i instantly fell in love and spent the rest of the day looking at the different models and specs of the guitar. i have heard a couple demos, and while i do think i enjoy the sound, i enjoy the design of it much more. however, from my understanding, these guitars are exceptionally hard to get in good condition nowadays. so, that dream might be over</3.
so, those are my top three dream guitars !! i probably have more that i really like, but these are the first ones that came to my mind and also the ones i’d think would be hardest to get. (availability, money, orientation, etc.) thanks for reading and i hope you guys have a good spring break !!!
with the announcement of an upcoming bob dylan movie, i’ve decided to look back at some of my favorite music docs !! as everyone knows, i love music, but i also love anything that could be related to music. reviews, documentaries, books: i love them all. but one of my favorite forms of media relating to music is music documentaries !! today i’ll be showing off some of my favorite ones and giving a little summary of them:) enjoy !!
walk the line
walk the line is a movie about johnny cash’s rise to stardom, and the effects that had on him and his family. joaquin phoenix plays johnny cash, and actually sings and plays all the instruments himself- something that is rare in music biopics. phoenix completely demolished this role in the best possible ways. in this movie, we see cash start his music journey and quickly rise to the spotlight. he then meets the love of his life, june carter. however, he still has a family back home, including a wife. like many artists of his time, cash had many serious decisions to make about his new life in regards to his music. 10/10 movie, absolutely loved it.
bohemian rhapsody
i wish i could put into words what this movie made me feel the first time i saw it. not only was the casting perfect- a task that isn’t easy to accomplish perfectly- but the acting was just as perfect, if not more. this movie took me through so many emotions, and i’d feel them all again at a moment’s notice. in this movie, the focus is on queen frontman: freddie mercury. this too like walk the line goes through the beginning of the band to their rise to stardom, but there is a particular focus on freddie himself. we find out about his personal issues, such as his struggle with his sexuality and his own relationship- one that he cherished, and even wrote a song for. we see everything: from the band’s formation to their monumental live aid performance. of course, we also see the worsening state of freddie himself, and eventually his death. 100/10 movie, cannot recommend it enough.
love & mercy
maybe this is just because of my slight obsession with paul dano, but i’ve always thought that this movie was truly beautiful. a lot like bohemian rhapsody, love & mercy depicts the rise of the beach boys, and more importantly: the slow deterioration of their frontman, brian wilson. this movie goes back and forth between two time periods: brian during the beach boys, and brian after the beach boys. during the beach boys, we get to see brian’s brilliant mind at work. however, we also get to see his issues and struggles that at the time, no one knew about. after the beach boys, we see brian under the toxic influence of his full-time therapist. later in his life, he meets a woman, and she slowly tries to help him escape from the people completely controlling his life. it ends on a good note, but i don’t want to spoil it !! (i know, i’ve spoiled all the rest of them, so why spoil this one?) well, it’s because i honestly don’t think people really know about what happened to brian wilson; i believe most people are aware of freddie mercury’s death and johnny cash’s infidelity. definitely recommend this one, it really moved me.
control
this is another movie i’m going to refrain from spoiling, as i don’t think many people know about the life of ian curtis: one that is very sad and cruel. this movie DESTROYED me, and not in a good way. well, kind of in a good way. it’s incredibly sad, and definitely portrayed his life in an accurate, but unfair and depressing way. this movie is much like the last ones, in which it shows us the rise of one of the most influential post-punk bands, joy division. we see more of the life of ian curtis in this one: the frontman of the band. we learn about his life before joy division, during joy divison, and well, at the end of joy division. we learn about his infidelity and his epilepsy diagnosis. we see him struggle with both of these problems until it finally ends towards the end of the movie.. but not in the way you think</3. 10/10, will make you sob.
the devil and daniel johnston
this movie is more in the documentary style, but trust me, it is done just as well. also won’t be spoiling this one, as daniel johnston is criminally underrated and i think people need to give this movie a chance. we see the ups and downs of the life of daniel johnston: one that is equally as sad as ian curtis, but much more compelling to learn about. daniel johnston suffered from a variety of things in his life, but he was still able to create beautiful outsider music that is praised by even the likes of kurt cobain, lead singer of the late band nirvana. a very long and interesting story, and every second of this movie was worth it. 10/10 !! definitely check it out.
heaven adores you
you should have expected this one. yes, the elliott smith documentary. i have watched this movie over and over and over and OVER. i wouldn’t even care if it was absolutely horrible, i’d still be horribly addicted to it. thankfully, it isn’t absolutely horrible, it’s actually very good and it is one of my all time favorite movies. (wonder why…) it follows the life of indie rock musician, elliott smith. it goes through his life- as early as birth- to his depressing death in 2003. we see his rise to somewhat fame, and his plight with drug usage. i may be biased, and by may be, i mean that i am.. but i do believe this documentary is well done and very beautiful. if you love elliott smith, watch it. hell, if you love ME, you would watch it. 1,000,000/10, forever and always.
so those were some of my fave music documentaries/biopics !! i’m sure when the bob dylan one comes out, it’ll make its way to this list. (most likely in my top 3 too) hope you enjoyed this, i know i did !! cya next week !!!
hello all !! so, fun news: i am most likely going to be seeing depeche mode for my birthday in october !! i’ve been a fan of this band for a while, and i’m honestly so excited because my mom is also a very big fan of them. i haven’t been to a concert since 2019, so i’m long overdue. and to be honest, i’ve been craving it. so, in honor of the very exciting news, i thought i’d rank my top 3 depeche mode songs, and tell you a little bit about why i love them !! they’re not in any particular order, they’re just three of my favorites !! i hope you enjoy:))
1. stories of old – some great reward
i absolutely love the backing track of this song, especially the melody that comes right after the chorus lines. the lyrics are also seriously addicting; i always find myself going crazy over the way they are sung, but that’s typical of a depeche mode song. my verses might be my second favorite part of the song, as the melody and twists they take totally have me at their will. i love love love this song and its stayed one of my favorites by them for a very long time. i really hope they play this one at the show !!
2. lie to me – some great reward
i honestly just recently found this song, but it has quickly found itself to the top of the list. a lot of similar themes with this one and the last one; i love the melodies and the lyrics. if the lyrics in the last song had me at their will, the lyrics in this song completely control me. i absolutely ADORE martin gore’s songwriting, and he’s one of my biggest inspirations for writing in general. a favorite line from this song is: belief is the way, the way of the innocent. and when i say innocent, i should say naive. so lie to me, but do it with sincerity. i absolutely go wild every time i hear these lines. i also love the main melody in this song, and it gets stuck in my head all the time. if they play this one at the show, i will go ballistic.
3. a question of time – black celebration
while the other two songs prouded themselves in being my favorites lyric-wise, this one is the exact opposite. well, kind of. i do really love the lyrics- they’re EXTREMELY well written- but they honestly really get to me and disturb me. and honestly, i think that’s exactly what they wanted to do. the melody that plays after the chorus is a fave, and was the first component of the song that drew me to it. i first heard this song on my vinyl copy of one of their live shows, and it sounded amazing live. despite this being such a disturbing and unnerving song, i can’t not dance to it. now, if they played this song, i would go especially ballistic, but i wouldn’t be surprised. from what i know, it’s a fairly popular song. that doesn’t take away from how much i love it though. i especially hope they play this one !!
short but really fun blog !! gave me an excuse to talk about seeing them live lmao. well, if you know any of these songs, let me know !! and please do give the band a listen !! i believe because they are so widely liked, anyone can get into the type of music they make !! i enjoyed writing this, i hope you enjoyed reading it. cya next week:)
“the surgeon at 2 a.m.” is one of, if not my favorite poem by the poet sylvia plath. the moment i read it, i was hooked. i spent the later half of that night reading it over and over again, and even geeking out about the poem to my mother. so, i thought it would be fun to geek out about it to you guys as well!! here are my favorite lines from plath’s “the surgeon at 2 a.m.”
*this is not a literary analysis
The white light is artificial, and hygienic as heaven. The microbes cannot survive it. They are departing in their transparent garments, turned aside From the scalpels and the rubber hands. The scalded sheet is a snowfield, frozen and peaceful. The body under it is in my hands. As usual there is no face. A lump of Chinese white With seven holes thumbed in. The soul is another light. I have not seen it; it does not fly up. Tonight it has receded like a ship’s light.
It is a garden I have to do with —- tubers and fruit Oozing their jammy substances, A mat of roots. My assistants hook them back. Stenches and colors assail me. This is the lung-tree. These orchids are splendid. They spot and coil like snakes. The heart is a red bell-bloom, in distress. I am so small In comparison to these organs! I worm and hack in a purple wilderness.
The blood is a sunset. I admire it. I am up to my elbows in it, red and squeaking. Still is seeps me up, it is not exhausted. So magical! A hot spring I must seal off and let fill The intricate, blue piping under this pale marble. How I admire the Romans —- Aqueducts, the Baths of Caracella, the eagle nose! The body is a Roman thing. It has shut its mouth on the stone pill of repose.
It is a statue the orderlies are wheeling off. I have perfected it. I am left with and arm or a leg, A set of teeth, or stones To rattle in a bottle and take home, And tissues in slices—a pathological salami. Tonight the parts are entombed in an icebox. Tomorrow they will swim In vinegar like saints’ relics. Tomorrow the patient will have a clean, pink plastic limb.
Over one bed in the ward, a small blue light Announces a new soul. The bed is blue. Tonight, for this person, blue is a beautiful color. The angels of morphia have borne him up. He floats an inch from the ceiling, Smelling the dawn drafts. I walk among sleepers in gauze sarcophagi. The red night lights are flat moons. They are dull with blood. I am the sun, in my white coat, Grey faces, shuttered by drugs, follow me like flowers.
it is a garden i have to deal with- tubers and fruit oozing their jammy substances, a mat of roots. my assistants hook them back.
i absolutely love how this poem looks at organs; a garden. almost like a map of things, strategically placed inside every human being.
this is the lung-tree these orchids are splendid. they spot and coil like snakes. the heart is a red-bloom, in distress. i am so small in comparison to these organs! i worm and hack in a purple wilderness.
something so unnerving, yet presented as though it is a ‘purple wilderness’, full of red-bloom hearts and lung-trees, orchids and feats of great patience and time.
the intricate, blue piping under this pale marble how i admire the romans- aqueducts, the baths of caracella, the eagle nose! the body is a roman thing. it has shut its mouth on the stone pill of repose.
probably my favorite set of lines in the poem. the body is a roman thing. that line persists through everything for me. i can feel my hands over the “marble” surface of skin, comparing it to the roman architecture of aqueducts. the stone pill of repose almost feels roman itself, and i can feel the cold stone statue of sleep on my face every time i read it.
tonight, for this person, blue is a beautiful color. the angels of morphia have borne him up. he floats an inch from the ceiling, smelling the dawn drafts. i walk among sleepers in gauze sarcophagi. the red night lights are flat moons. they are dull with blood. i am the sun, in my white coat, grey faces, shuttered by drugs, follow me like flowers.
almost this entire stanza staggers me. the portrayal of death is unlike no other; grey faces, shuttered by drugs, follow me like flowers. i can see languid movements instilled by death in my face, of course in the form of flowers. the garden theme starts out blooming, beating, and utterly alive. then, by the time we get to the end, the garden is dying. in a drug-like haze, this blooming, beating vessel is now slowly following someone else’s motions: the sun in their white coat.
this poem is honestly so beautiful and utterly haunting. i will never get tired of it. i hope you enjoyed my short little commentary. see you next week:)
