Body Image Issues

Oh boy, where do I even start. 

So yeah, recently, I’ve been gaining weight pretty fast even though I am very active and everything.  I also keep getting more and more stretch marks.  I am really self conscious about them and they have gotten to the point they are all over my body, pretty much.  Some would make sense as I grew tall very quickly, but I don’t know why I keep getting them on my legs and stuff.  It is also weird because they don’t run in my family at all.  My mom never got any, even when she was pregnant.  I can’t even wear a crop top anymore because every time I do, someone asks me “What’s wrong with your hips?”  Nothing, I just have gross bright red and purple stretch marks all over them for no reason other than my body spites my existence.  I wouldn’t even mind if they weren’t so noticeable, but they are.  I don’t even know why they are there because I didn’t get them until after the majority of my growing.  

My mom (who is also a doctor) has suggested I might have Cushing’s disease.  It is caused by an overproduction of cortisol, and leads to weight gain and bright purple/pink stretch marks.  As well as other things such as acne and easily bruising, all of which line up pretty well.   

I don’t like how much weight I’m gaining or the amount of bright vibrant stretch marks I’m getting.  Of course me stressing about it has only led to me stress eating, which isn’t helping.  As someone who has always struggled with body image, and was actually starting to like the way I look until I gained so much weight, is very upsetting for me.

*Screams into the void* 

Here’s a resource:  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cushing-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20351310

Author: Lillian Denney

Award winning writer, Lillian enjoys writing short stories, poems, and other personal works. Lillian also enjoys art, gaming, basketball, and archery. She likes anime and other cartoons. She also enjoys reading but rarely has the time and has been reading "Cell" by Steven King for a year. View all posts by Lillian Denney