Losing control, and gaining self control

Hey girlies, how are we doing? I’m good you know, I’m still breathing. We’re still breathing…

Let’s take a deep breath. Yes, right now. Feel everything you’re feeling right now, and feel it leave your body. Feels better doesn’t it? 🙂 Relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw, take another deep breath.

Cool, now that you’re comfortable… what’s uppp, I missed y’all. Recently, I’ve been put in some tough situations. The situations that just come along with life. I’m doing good though. I’m taking everything for how they are, applying it, and continuing to move. When situations happen unexpectedly, it’s for a reason. You have to find that reason. It could be to knock you down, take you higher, it could be a million reasons, but it’s up to you to figure out what that is and why.

Through the situation life has handed me during the last couple of weeks, I was looking control in the face. Things would happen and I would be totally out of control of it. It was scary, honestly. It was a lot of things. It was infuriating. It was confusing. It was a hard slap in the face some moments.

There will be lots of things you can’t control in your life, and I had to learn that. I learned that there were going to be different types of situations that I was out of control of as well. I was put through so many, and with such a diversity, because I needed to learn how to respond to them all, to the variety. Because it will be that way my and your entire life. It’s not always going to be someone else choosing a restaurant that you hate when you wanted to go to a different one, you get what I’m saying?

Let’s break it down. When you’re out of control, the natural response is to worry about it, overthink it, sit on it for hours, but you can’t do that. YOU have no control over it, but it has some over you. It’s making you worry, whatever that thing is, it’s sucking energy out of you that could be used and put into something that will serve you. It could be used to smile at people, to write a cute little story, to read a couple of pages of a book. But because you’re worrying about it, that draining negativity is being manifested into your brain, and later in your environment, everywhere really. You see how you have no control, but it has a lot over you? Yeah, that’s not good. It’s not good for your beautiful mind to be hurting.

How can we fix it? You’re aware you can’t control this situation, good that’s the first step. Take some deep breaths, become mindful that you can’t control it. Now, just because this crazy thing has just happened to you, doesn’t mean that you lost all control over every single thing in your life. (That’s for the easily discouraged girlies that need that extra reassurance. It’s okay I do too. All we can do is keep doing.) YOU STILL HAVE CONTROL! You have every single piece of control over how you react to this crazy, time-stopping, experience that has just happened to you, and that is the beauty in it. Remember the variety, and millions of things it could be? I’m going to share two different things I’ve been out of control of and how I reacted to give you a little example. 

Being told no. I hate it. It is my number one tick. It’s what makes me the maddest. I honestly don’t know if its called being “spoiled” or not, but that’s not how I look at it. In my mind, I simply don’t understand how another human can tell me what I can or can’t do. They’re a human, they’re my equivalent. You know what I mean? But sometimes people tell me no, and sometimes I have to accept it. It’s always been hard for me too. I get so angry I don’t recognize myself, after I fight someone to their bone just so I can get my way. That anger is not serving me. It’s hurting me in so many ways. I’m wasting energy that could be spent on healthy things, I’m hurting people I love, I’m putting negativity in my environment. When I need permission to do something, it is no longer in my control, and whatever the answer I get, I need to accept accordingly. I learned that the hard way. I can’t control what their answer is going to be. I understand that. I take a deep breath, I tell myself there is nothing I can do, and I accept it with peace. I don’t use anger to lose a bigger battle, because I’m aware I’m out of control but in control. I do this for myself. I am in control of what I allow myself to feel. 

Another situation I was put in and had no control over was not being able to talk to one of my best friends as much as I’d like. It was hard. It was unexpected, it was a shock, but there was nothing I could do. I had no control over the situation, but I had control over how I coped with it. I looked at it as a break, a time to catch up on my schoolwork, to prioritize. I choose not to sit around all day and fixate on how much I miss them. I choose to turn the sad energy into productive and hopeful energy. 

In situations like these, all you can do is turn it into something beautiful, something meaningful, productive, peaceful. I know I sound like a broken record but people need to be aware of how they react and how they choose to make a situation what they want it be. The purpose of every day to me, is to grow from the person I was yesterday. You can never stop healing, progressing, and growing. The first step is being aware, and from there you got it. I believe in you. You can never control the crazy nonlinear experience of life, the people around you and how they think, and what they project, but you can be aware and mindful of how you handle all of these things. Do it for yourself, for your protected energy, for your peace in mind. It matters and you deserve it. I love you, and you are so strong. 

You got this in the bag :), you really do, drink some water if you haven’t today. Bye girlies 🙂