I love sleeping. Like, genuinely. I love getting into bed after a long day and knowing that for the next eight hours, give or take, I am not required to do a single thing. No homework, no conversations, no pretending to be in a good mood when I’m not. Just me, and whatever weird dream I have
The only problem is that I hate actually going to sleep.
I can spend an entire day yawning in class, practically begging for a nap, and the second I get into bed, suddenly I’m wide awake. I have thoughts. I have questions. I have memories. And God forbid I remember something embarrassing I did three years ago.
But once I’m finally asleep? Best feeling in the world.
I think my favorite part is waking up and realizing I still have time left to sleep. There is nothing better than opening your eyes, checking the clock, seeing that you have another hour, and rolling back over. Actually, scratch that. There is nothing worse than waking up from the best sleep of your life just to realize you have to go to school.
And don’t even get me started on naps. Naps are amazing.
I also think there’s a certain comfort in going to sleep at night. Not even in a deep, philosophical way. Sometimes I’m just tired of looking at people. Tired of talking. Tired of thinking. Tired of having to decide what to wear tomorrow and whether the person who left me on delivered hates me or is simply busy.
At night, I don’t have to figure any of that out. I can worry about it tomorrow, which is a problem for tomorrow me.
Tomorrow me is always dealing with my nonsense, though. I really should apologize to her.
And honestly, I think that’s why sleeping is so good. It’s a break from being a person for a little while. You don’t have to be interesting or funny or smart. You don’t have to answer anyone. You don’t have to know what you’re doing with your life. You just get to lie there and exist, which sounds pretty nice when you think about it.
Sometimes I wish I could explain to people how much I love being in bed without making it sound like I’m depressed. I’m not necessarily sad. I’m not necessarily happy, either. I just like being comfortable. I like being warm. I like having nowhere to go and nothing to do. I like the feeling of being so tired that my thoughts finally start getting quieter.
And maybe that’s lazy. Maybe I should be doing something productive with those hours.
But I spend enough of my life worrying about what I should be doing. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying the few hours when I’m allowed to do absolutely nothing.
Anyway, it’s getting late, and I have things to do tomorrow.
no wait that’s so real. sleep is honestly the best thing for making time pass by, i think, but actually going to sleep sucks.
This is so real. Sleep is genuinely one of my top three human experiences ever. Also, the ending was so satisfying!!
Really fun reading this knowing you wrote it in the middle of the night.
I get this so much. i LOVE sleep just the worst part about that is having insomnia. SAVE me.