junior literary – Literary Arts Blogspace

Me Personally, I Prefer Movies

Guys, I genuinely love movies so much. My roommate loves to remind me that every morning when she wakes up I’m watching something new. Ever since I was little, I just had an appreciation for seeing scenes being acted out on the screen. From the colors to the acting itself, it hooked a younger me into a world where anything can be what you make of it.

There’s so many movies I’ve seen that I’ll ask my friends if they’ve even heard of, and most of the time, they haven’t. And what sucks is I tried to get my roommate to watch my favorite movie and I couldn’t freaking find it anywhere. What do you mean no streaming service is showing Silence of the Lambs? I’m offended.

I’ve always been more of a movie person rather than a television show kind of person. Sure, I could watch an entire season of Dexter in one sitting, in a single day, but once I turn it off, it’s not coming back on for a while. There’s just so much to watch, so many movies to pick from, that it’s hard for me to sit down and finish a tv show. Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think I ever have actually finished a show.

I started watching the 100—never got through season six before it got taken off of Netflix. But hey, at least I got to finish all the good seasons, I heard the ending was trash anyway. As for my favorite show, Teen Wolf, I never got past season five. I just put off watching it for a while and then never picked it back up again. It’s been over a year since I’ve watched any of it.

Movie series? I have no problem whatsoever finishing one. Actually, the other day I decided to rewatch the Hunger Games for no reason other than simply wanting to. This morning, while I was getting ready, I finished the first movie. After I finish watching them all, I plan on rewatching Pirates of the Caribbean, and then maybe Harry Potter. Every year it’s all the same—I watch the same few movie series that I really enjoy, even if I’ve seen them all a hundred times.

Everyone always tells me that I would appreciate a tv show much more since they can incorporate a lot more detail over the span of seasons and episodes. But I just don’t have the patience to watch an entire series as fast as everyone else. I’m on the season three finale of Dexter, where I’ve sat for about two months, and so I likely will finish the series about this time next year. Till then, I’ll stick with my never-ending quota of movies that change genres everyday.

More IDV Character Lore (╥﹏╥)

Nothing really on my mind besides Identity V, so I decided to share 2 summaries of lore of characters I enjoy.

TW: Abuse, death, and miscarriage (?)

Photographer (Joseph Desaulniers)

“Don’t be fooled by his elegance, or you might become an item in his collection in a split second.” – Anniversary Tales Collection Booklet

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Joseph Desaulniers was born along with his twin brother, Claude, within a wealthy, aristocratic family in France. Growing up, he had little to no problems. That was until the French Revolution occurred. As a safety precaution, his family boarded onto a ship to find refuge in England. During the trip, Claude Desaulniers passed away due to an illness (likely tuberculosis) while the two of them were still young. Joseph would delve into a depression after his brother’s death. As he got older, he became fascinated with photographer. Capturing one’s essence, he called it. It got to the point to where he’d close out his friends and family. Eventually he came to his friends saying, “I found a way to capture someone’s soul.” It came as no surprise that the statement would be brushed off, but disappearances in town occurred. All of the people had a similarity between them; they allowed Joseph to capture a portrait of them using his camera. Strange enough, their portraits hung on his manor’s walls. A few people came looking for Joseph, now sixty years of age, but only found the manor empty save for the lone portrait of him on the foyer’s wall.

Toy Merchant (Anne Lester)

“The hope of life always comes from hope itself.” – Anne’s deduction quest 10

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Anne’s mother died when Anne was a toddler. Her father then resulted to abusing her verbally, physically, and emotionally since he believed Anne was the cause. The abuse would primarily be him comparing Anne to his late wife and saying stuff such as, “you’ll never be as beautiful as your mother.” Anne turned to toys as a coping mechanism, each and every one of them brought her great joy. Once she came of age, she’d gotten engaged to a man whom she dearly loved. She thought he felt the same way, but her fiancé and her father were working together to steal the inheritance Anne’s mother left for her. Eventually, she got pregnant but suffered a miscarriage. During that period, her father and fiancé stole the funds and left without a trace. She opened up a toy shop with little money she had left, but only the thought of seeking revenge held up within her mind.

I would’ve most definitely added more characters in here like Cheerleader, Sculptor, Naiad, Batter, and Prisoner in the lore summary, but it would’ve been too long I fear ;-;

Thank you for reading! As I always ask, what are your thoughts on this?

I Miss My Coworkers

Guys, I genuinely miss my coworkers so freaking much. I spent over two months getting so close to everyone, and now with my being in school, I see them once in a blue moon. It’s not like I can really text them or anything since I don’t have their numbers because I was used to just seeing them everyday. I miss all the inside jokes and the laughter before opening, the nicknames and the trips to yayas frozen yogurt once my shift was up. I had such memorable experiences with them all and it’s sad to me that I don’t get to be around them as much.

What really helped my separation anxiety from them was getting to see them all over the past weekend. Once Zoe heard I was only making a hundred bucks even though it would be a busy football weekend, she simply handed me a wad of ones wrapped in a rubber band. I honestly felt bad that she did it, but she insisted. Towards the end of my shift my other coworker Treyce handed me ten bucks and a firm pat on the shoulder. I always feel so loved when it comes to being around them all.

As the shift progressed, we all realized it wasn’t nearly as bad as we all had thought it would be—and not as bad as the previous day had been. That’s not to say it was slow, no, I mean we had a line out the door a few times, but that was quickly managed. From what I heard, the day before had had a line out the door practically all day and everyone was far too busy to notice the security guard they had hired from a company, who was acting as hostess, was taking money from customers to put them on a nonexistent waitlist.

I’m kinda glad it wasn’t busy, to be honest. That way, I got more time to just talk with my coworkers and catch up on things. Luckily, most of my favorites were on shift with me so I got the best of all worlds. Oh, and Ava came to see me. Once it really died down and was considerably slow, I invited her over since she was already in Oxford anyway. Her parents came, too. All four of us just sat down in a booth and ordered a little food, talked, and I introduced her to the coworkers I’d been telling her all about for almost two months. I already miss everyone, though, if I’m being honest.

Missing or Dead pt. 4: The Beginning of the End

Hey my peeps!!! This week’s blog should finish off the rest of Elijah’s story, so I hope you like it because this is the beginning of the end of Elijah’s journey.

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Beneath the beeping of his monitor, a soft creak sings into the room followed by an authoritative voice saying, “Ah, so you’re finally awake, Elijah.”

His eyes fall to the entrance that only now becomes visible thanks to its movement and trace the voice back to its owner. A tall broad figure in a freshly white medical coat walks forward. The closer the figure comes before the bed, the more Elijah can make out their full appearance. Besides a tall frame, the stranger wears an elaborate stag head, the color identical to blood, and decorated with the most majestic set of royal antlers, that twist upwards and out, ending in sharp knife-like points. While this crown of antlers appears heavy, the body hosting them stands with perfect posture making them seem weightless.

“…” Elijah wants to scream and question the person before him, yet his words play against him, getting caught in his throat.

“Oh, come on now, cricket.” The Stag snickers, “Use your words, not your eyes. I’m no mind reader.”

Elijah’s heart falls into a bottomless pit inside his chest, “…cricket..?” His voice chirps, “how… how do you know that name?”

The Stag’s head falls into gloved hands as he laughs; ones bound in the safety of smooth brown leather rather than a pair matching the latex ones that dangle from the pocket of the coat. “I know everything about you, Elijah.”

“No– you shouldn’t know that name!”

“But I do. I was the one who gave you that name, Cricket.”

“no.. you can’t be. My father died se–”

Manic laughter cuts Elijah off, as the Red Stag slams both hands, grasping the metal rails that trap Elijah in. “I NEVER DIED!” He screams. “That bastard brother of mine took you from me. You were perfect and pure. A beautiful sacrifice for Cernunnos until Riche tainted your spotless soul.” He paused, staring or searching my eyes before straightening his body once more and calming his tone with huffs of bitter breaths. “That’s not the point. I can’t use you as our sacrifice anymore, so I might as well find you a new purpose.” Once he is finished, he signals something to the farthest left corner. Not long after, Autumn and the other hind barge into this white cubed room dressed in similar coats and pushing a silver cart that chimes with surgical instruments. They push past my bed towards the back of the padded room, the lights dimming with them. Autumn appears on my right, forcing a cold syringe into my neck, pumping a burning liquid through my veins.

“Ok, Elijah. Let’s find your new purpose.” My supposed father says, grabbing a scalpel from the cart. I lose control and feeling throughout my body, and my eyes struggle to focus. Betrayal is the thing that accompanies me while my vision is encased with black and my body goes numb.

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Ok yay! I hope you enjoyed it and let me know if you want more blogs like this or if you want rants. Peace and love my peeps.

Save Me

Looking back on just a few hours ago, I’m completely sick with my decision to work on LSU weekend. I mean, I’ve been at school all week; God knows I’ll be tired by Friday and am not going to want to do anything until we come back to campus Sunday. Not to mention, I’m going to be on the square in Oxford, working at a place that has a bar for people to watch the game. Anytime over the summer any of my coworkers brought up football season, you could see them all physically shudder. On a normal day at work, the restaurant would have four servers, a bartender, a busser, and a food runner. On football weekends? Two bartenders, five servers, two bussers, and two food runners. Complete hell.

Sure, the money’s good and all, but my feet are screaming at me an hour in. Now, personally, I’ve never worked for a football weekend—I only started working at the diner over the summer for some extra money. But on days when I couldn’t even wipe a table down before another was sitting? Oh, I hated it. The good news was that we only had about two days like that during the summer since all the college students were gone. Now everyone is back, and I heard that there have never been more people at and watching Ole Miss since it opened. I’m scared.

Literally, someone pray for me. I know there’s going to be a line out the door all day, and a line halfway around the square before we even open. I feel like that one TikTok meme of the girl crashing out in her car and crying. If I make around two hundred bucks that’d be great, but will it be worth it? Maybe, maybe not. At least I know better than to even think I’ll get anything close to a break Saturday. And after work? I’m crying in the car and sleeping in my bed until it’s time to come back to MSA.

In my bio, I clearly said I’d be ranting on here, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. Ranting about a weekend that will indeed not go down in the history books. There’s only like two upsides to this entire situation: I get to see my coworkers again after so long, and I get money. I miss my coworkers so much, but that’s a rant for another day. I’m just happy my mom will be there with me. Did I forget to mention we work together? Oh well. It’s not like we’ll have any time to see each other unless we’re shouting, “Behind you,” every five seconds in that cramped diner on our way to juggle five more tasks.

Revisiting old activities ૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა

I’ve been getting back into old hobbies of mine that I’ve had since I was thirteen. I say this because I got back into playing Identity V (╥﹏╥) It feels that every year, around this time period, I get back to playing that stupid game. I mean it’s been helping me mentally I guess, but it just seems like I cannot escape this game no matter what I do. Though, I was able to meet someone within a few days of me getting back into IDV. Online friend, of course, and we just played ranked together with some other mutuals. Ranked is just as it sounds, a more competitive version of regular matches where the survivors can ban hunters (which causes the hunter player unable to play the banned characters) and vice versa. Though, the hunters are able to ban one more character compared to the survivors. Like the hunter bans three characters while the survivors can only ban two. Ranking with them has been alright. I’ve gotten on the top one-hundred leaderboard for my main (Cheerleader).

My cutie baby Lily, Cheerleader, that I so graciously main and play as too much.

I’ll can probs show some clips I have been able to get during my two weeks of staring up playing again.

I’ve also gotten back into drawing, as I’ve said before. It’s a slow process, but I’m getting there. I might try to do anatomy studies and others so I can draw whatever pieces I want besides the usual bust up or headshot I do. I need to study hands especially even though I hate the thought of it.

The big three chudlings were drawn by me (˃𐃷˂) first one is Akaza from Demon Slayer, second is my OC (Original Character), and last one is Joseph Desaulniers from Identity V. I like how Akaza and Joseph have the same expression; I only just realized that when I uploaded the images.

It’s nice to go back to activities I’ve once did. Now, they can serve as a little stopping point whenever work gets too stressful. Maybe I can try to do other hobbies I put away in the past. What do you think about it? Do you have any hobbies that you’ve dabbled into once again? I’d love to know ٩(ˊᗜˋ)و ♡

The odd nature of love.

The strangest thing about love is that almost everyone knows what it feels like, yet almost no one can explain what it is. Including me.

We use the word casually. We love our parents, our friends, our pets, our favorite books, even places we like to go. The same word carries all of these feelings, even though they are not identical. To love a person is different from loving a place, and loving a friend is different from loving someone romantically. Yet something connects them. Love seems to begin when something outside of ourselves becomes important enough to change us.

That may be exactly why love is so difficult to define. A definition gives something boundaries, while love seems to exist by crossing them. It makes another person’s happiness feel connected to our own. It makes their absence noticeable. It can even change the meaning of ordinary things simply because someone we love is attached to them.

Romantic love is perhaps the clearest example I can think of. A stranger can become part of the way someone imagines their future. Decisions that once belonged entirely to one person begin to include another. Where should I live? What should I sacrifice? What kind of life do I want? The questions remain personal, but the answers no longer belong entirely to you, because now you’re considering them aswell.
This is why romantic love can seem irrational. It can make people hopeful without certainty and vulnerable without guarantees. We do not simply see the person we love. We begin to see the world with their existence included in it.

But romantic love is not the only kind capable of changing us.
Friendship. It doesn’t always involve the same promises as romance, but it can still make another person’s happiness feel drastically important.
Perhaps, then, romantic love is not necessarily deeper than friendship? They may simply be different ways of allowing another person to matter…
Human beings like to categorize things because categories make uncertainty easier to handle. That’s a fact. We call one relationship friendship and another romance, as though feelings will always respect those boundaries. But they do not always. Friendship can become romance. Romance can become friendship. Some connections refuse either name.
Maybe that is the uncomfortable truth about love: we want to understand it because understanding makes things feel more controllable
But love is rarely controllable.
To love is to admit that something has gained the power to hurt us by becoming important. Yet avoiding that vulnerability would also mean avoiding one of the things that makes relationships meaningful?
So the question is not, “What kind of love is this?”
Perhaps it is, “What has this love taught me to care about?”
Love may be romantic, friendly, familial, or something that refuses a name. There may never be one definition capable of containing all of it. That is fitting, I think. Some things become less true when we reduce them to an explanation.
Love may be one of them. We recognize it not because we can perfectly describe it, but because somehow, someway, another person, place, creature, or memory has ceased to be merely part of the world and has become part of our orbit.

Okay, love you (how ironic) bye bye!!!!!!!

Executing ideas… ꉂ(°□°’˶)

Having so many ideas regarding pieces sounds pleasant and fun but coming around to execute said ideas is a different story. Firstly, my idea sounds great to me, and I share them to my friends, and they agree it sounds great. Then I get to trying to flesh it out. The direction of how the characters interact feels wrong, how the plot moves feel wrong, basically every component of the story falls flat to me. It’s a cycle even with the stories I was most excited to write about. Even the pieces I made that others have enjoyed well enough doesn’t sit right with me. It might just be my personal judge (my mind) speaking to me. Now, I would like to share some sentences that I made in the first thoughts practice that I liked but didn’t use it in the follow-up assignment due to it not fitting right with the piece.

“A tree caked in blood whispers in my ear of secrets it stole from you.”

“My blood seeps into your bones as my heart whispers your name.”

“Drag me to our coffin so we can rot together.”

“Hang my limbs as decor while my rotting scent snuggles into the cloth of your furniture.”

“Wrap your fingers around the blade that’ll tear my skin for you to crawl in and be whole with me.”

Now a lot of these share a similar theme. The speakers wants someone to be with them, but it’s conveyed in a morbid way. I did like these ideas for a main character that could develop into this unhealthy mindset, but it would have to come another time as I’m working a whole lot on other projects. My idea for this speaker isn’t that they’re in ‘love’, it’s obsession instead, and not the glorified version where the obsessed one is a ‘hopeless romantic’. I’d like to think of this main character growing attached to whoever they’re talking to that develops into this unhealthy obsession. Within these lines, it does feel like a little power imbalance as the speaker wants the person to initiate all of these morbid actions. Maybe I could write more lines to steer it into a direction I’m satisfied with.

If I said there wasn’t a direct inspiration behind these lines, I’d be lying (sort of). I talked about Foxtails and IHS a good bit in previous blogs. I would say, at least the idea, the lines were based off of lyrics from both of these bands I have stored in the back of my mind.

Maybe you could pitch in some ideas also, maybe a sentence to go along with the ones I’ve listed or maybe a whole nother one for me to bounce off of. Either way, I’d love to hear it (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)

Editing is Such a Hobby

Guys, editing is so not for the easily irritated. Don’t get me wrong, I love editing—it’s been my hobby since I was like ten. It has times when it’s rewarding, and then it has times when you spend hours upon hours on the same project, just for it to get completely ignored by the media. Depending on what kind of editing you do, it can prove very time consuming. Luckily for me, the style I do is very basic and honestly doesn’t take that much time if you know what you’re doing.

The software I use to edit looks so complex to learn and it kinda is. It took me almost two years of using it to get where I am today, but I still try new styles here and there. Let me say, Adobe After Effects is not for the faint of heart. My first time using it I nearly cried just trying to figure out how to import and cut clips. If anyone could go into the software knowing what they were doing, I would bet on the medias since they are already familiar with Adobe.

Now, depending on what style you want to learn—whether it’s 3d or a simple tiktok style—it might take longer to get mastered. I could, and probably will, never touch 3d because I know it takes so much more time, effort, and I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Especially with all the school work and assignments, I just wouldn’t have the time to spend six hours on a twenty second edit.

For me, it’s a really fun hobby that I actually enjoy. If you see me with my laptop, I’m always doing one of three things—school work, watching youtube, or editing something. When I listen to music, I find myself unconsciously listening to the beats and thinking in my head, “This would be a great audio for an edit.” It’s almost annoying. But, it’s thrilling to see your visions come alive on a screen through transitions and hand-picked scenes.

As I’m writing this, I just finished an edit earlier that I actually like. Being in the middle of school, it’s hard to find time to just sit down and work on an edit, especially one that I don’t know if I like. But hey, I somehow manage to find time between things. The edit I just made, from the coloring to the effects, is honestly my favorite one that I’ve made in a long time, and that’s saying something. Posting it is gonna be so fun.

Music Galore (˃ꇴ˂)

In my last post, I had gone on a little rambling of my favorite artists and songs from them. I decided to expand on that section furthermore by dedicating this post to songs and artists I recommend. I will preface this before moving on, my music taste it diverse. A little bit of everything mixed into a pot. So, I don’t believe that all of my recommendations will land well with everyone. Most of my recommendations within this post are within the rowdy realm like metal, screamo, etc ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)

Without a further ado, here we go ٩(˶´༥`˶)و

About a year ago, I had dabbled into punk music. Most specifically, d-beat, it’s a music genre that has inspired Crust Punk. For a little bit of background, Crust Punk is a fusion genre between extreme metal and anarcho-punk. Songs within this specific genre contains lyrics of real-life problems and the vocalist’s stance on it. All discussion within songs is primarily anti-capitalism, environmentalism, anarchism, etc. There have also been other discussions like feminism, veganism, and animal rights sung within this genre. D-beat takes its name from a band named Discharge (D-beat means Discharge-beat) I’ll link some songs that fit under this genre.

Drunk with power – Discharge
Police Bastard (covered by Pesti!) – Doom
My Meds Aren’t Working – Dystopia

I also recommend ‘Number One Hypocrite’ by Dystopia (✧∇✧)

Indie holds a piece of my heart (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) The artist I’ll say I listen to the most within this genre is Alex G or Big Thief, but I also listen to Black Box Recorder a whole lot too. Indie music, also known as independent music, is characterized by creative freedom and a DIY mentality to it. This makes a varying about of musical approaches, lyrics, how they’re sung, the instruments, etc. Here’s my recommendations (✧0✧) Each artist has their own section with songs I’ve selected. I’ll underline the ones I’d recommend the most.

Black Box Recorder – Kidnapping an Heiress, The Art of Driving, Child Psychology
Mitski – Cop Car, Drunk Walk Home (Live version), Last words of a shooting star
Alex G – Hope, I’m not like the other girls (unreleased), Forever
Big Thief – Paul, Not (live), Vampire Empire (Demo)

In my previous blog, I discussed a lot of metal. So, I’ve decided to talk about it furthermore.

My love for metal has been a thing since I was young. Skillet was my first exposure to it when I was 7 years old. It died down, but then in 2023 a friend introduced me to Deftones. Deftones had made me love metal more than I can ever state. I have a collection of merch like shirts and CDs ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I own almost all albums, but I still have another eight albums to get. I also own some Korn and System of a Down albums along with a Skillet and an Evanescence album. I haven’t been to any concert yet, but I hope to go to one soon.

Scream of The Butterfly – Acid Bath
Duct Taped to a Flagpole – Party Cannon
Tavern – Netherwalker
Misanthropy – Decalius
Absurdism – Glistening
I’m Sorry – I will always remember
Siege Tower – Curta’n Wall
Rabid – Mortician
Mascara – Deftones

I feel like a cornball for liking Screamo, but this genre is so good please trust me ( °ㅁ°) There have been some Screamo songs that have gotten popular, but only for a certain part. It does mess with me a little because there are songs that are genuinely the best songs ever (੭ ;´ ⌂ `;)੭

Metamorphosis – Your Arms Are My Cocoon
let’s get married – Your Arms Are My Cocoon
To Remember – septemberistheonlytimeidontthinkofyou
Everybody tells me nothing – beforeyouleave
San Francisco – IHS
i experienced ego death on an nde thread – foxtails
embers – Dead Butterflies
When We Turn To Dust – noragami
好きです – that same street

I love sharing my favorite genres and specific songs within these genres ₍₍⚞(˶>ᗜ<˶)⚟⁾⁾ I hope maybe I’ve added a few songs to your playlist or made you a fan of some of these artists. What do you think of some of these tracks? Do you recommend any songs for me to take a listen to ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀) I’d love to hear what you have to say!