When I’m sitting in a space for a long time, I think of all the things I’ve ever done in life. For example, I’ve rode a pogo stick and I once climbed a very high tree. When I was 12, I went on a diet where I only ate strawberry yogurt. I used to push safety pins beneath the very thin layer of my hand. The dead skin layer, that did not make my hand bleed. These memories aren’t big accomplishments, but they are on the top of my head. I associate my past self with them. And they are all memories from childhood, years and years ago. It bewilders me that I can remember this stuff from long ago, but I don’t know what I did this past year or last week.  Sometimes I think it’s because I am not interesting enough. I don’t do all those weird things that kids do anymore, I’m not that excited about life. Therefore, my brain chooses not to remember me.

 I had a conversation this weekend with my friend, and it completely changed my view on this. We were talking about things, people, cars, air conditioning. Stuff you talk about with people you know. And they randomly told me they once lived on a farm with cows, horses and all kinds of herd. They gave very detailed descriptions of this memory, and I was dumbfounded. It seemed like they had lived this kind of life every day. Even if they did not, they have at least thought of the memory every day. But once the story was over, they looked as dumbfounded as I did. They asked me afterward, “do you ever have those moments of life that you simply do not remember until you sit down and start saying them out loud?” Firstly, I thought it was impressive that they had discovered this story from deep within their mind. It was amazing.

But when I thought about it a little longer, I started to understand what they were talking about. If this memory had suddenly sprang up on them, then maybe my problem was the opposite of that. I think most of the time we know about ourselves through our conscious minds, but our subconscious minds can play a huge role in it as well. Some memories are easier to pull up. Other memories are stored for later until something springs them up. In this case, it was the act of conversation. But it can be more things like a certain activity, maybe golfing.

I thought this was interesting to think about because I feel like I am not recording anything I do these days. The days just fly by, and it seems like I am taking them for granted. But what if I do remember them? I just can’t access them in the way I access memories that have more time behind them.

Superior Spider-Man is probably one of my favorite Spider-Man comics ever. I liked this comic so much that I even wrote a screenplay on it for a creative writing assignment last year. So, now you all have to read my yap about Superior Spider-Man.

It first came out in the 90s and was left alone for a while until the better version of it was made in 2013. It starts off with Spider-Man going to meet a dying Otto Octavius (who had been known to be reformed). He wanted to say goodbye before Otto died. They were talking to each other for a while until one of Otto’s robots rose and stabbed Spidey in the neck with a needle. That needle transferred Otto’s brainwaves to Spidey’s mind, and Sidey’s brainwaves to Otto’s mind. So, this meant that peter was now in Otto’s dying body and Otto was now Spider-Man and Peter died.

Otto was ready to ruin the name Spider-Man, but instead he saw all of Peter’s memories. His happiness, his struggles, his family, and his reason for being a hero. This changed Otto. Otto still was cocky and had his personality, but he had Peter’s ambitions. He was ready to be spider-Man. But he was going to be a Superior Spider-Man.

Otto quickly got to doing Spidey work. The only problem was, he had no idea the extent of Spider-Mans power. So, when he fought Scorpion first, he knocked his jaw off with one punch. That obviously killed Scorpion. That made Otto realize that Peter could’ve killed him at any moment, but instead pulled his punches. He saw Peter as weak because of that. That gave him one more reason to think he was Superior. 

He continued his work as Spider-Man. All he did was beat villains to a pulp. The public saw this and started to hate Spider-Man. He was no longer the Friendly-Neighborhood Spider-Man they knew. He hated that. He started to feel less superior and tried to fight more crime.

At some point, the Green Goblin started a rampage on the city. Doc Ock had to try and save the whole city from him. This was when he realized that he just wasn’t good enough. Then, he heard Peter’s voice in his head. A part of Peter lived on in his mind and was fighting to take back control. Him and Octavius then had a conversation, and Octavius agreed to give Peter his body back. This was the end of Otto Octavius and thus, the old Spider-Man was back to save the day.

It’s been a while since I’ve done an overwatch blog, so I’m coming back with some of my favorite characters and the lore behind them. One of my favorite things about overwatch is the backstory they give their characters. In the world of Overwatch, it takes place in the future. There was an omnic war where robots and humans fought. Only some characters actually fought in the war, and there’s also a group of evil people who were in the group Talon. So, I will be yapping about backstories and maybe get more into the actual groups another day.

So, the first backstory video I watched was Hanzo & Genji Shimada

Hanzo ad Genji grew up in Hanamura, Japan. Their family was the Shimada clan, a family of assassins that was established hundreds of years ago. When their father died, he instructed that Hanzo straighten out his younger brother, Genji, who was a troublemaker. During a dispute between the two Hanzo was forced to kill his brother. With a sword, which he had promised to never use again, Hanzo abandoned his brother half dead. Genji was found by Mercy and his body is now mostly robot. After the healing and coming to terms with his new body Genji studied with Zenyatta, who is monk, and learned peace, he forgave his brother. They met 20 years later; Hanzo would sneak into the castle and sit by a shrine that was made for Genji. Genji found him, but Hanzo didn’t know it was him until omgee dragons!! The two brothers have these dragon spirits that only the Shimada clan has. At the end of the fight Genji tells him that he forgave him and all that’s left to do is forgive himself.

Next up! Hana Song aka D.Va

Hana grew up in Busan, South Korea. She was a professional gamer, who was chosen to be a part of a group called MEKA since they claimed gamers would be able to control the mechs easily. D.va was chosen for her outstanding skill. South Korea established the mechanized armored drone unit to fight against a colossal mechanical monstrosity that rose from the depths of the East China Sea. The robotic creature caused terrible damage to coastal cities before retreating back to the city. In her video she is seen overworking herself, fixing her own mech and improving it as the robot evolves. She leaves to fight it on her own when it suddenly rises from the sea due to not having enough time to wait on her team. She fights the giant robot all by herself and ends up breaking a leg where she promises to take more time to rest.

Niran PruksaManee aka Lifeweaver

Niran grew up in Chiang Mai, Thailand. He was the middle child in an extremely wealthy family who always had high expectations for their children. His family believed in perfection, and he did not. He spent all of his time planting alongside his family’s gardeners. Early in his life he was too smart for everything, often getting answers wrong for overcomplicating them. His parents sent him to the prestigious Vishkar Architech Academy, desperate to instill order in Niran. While at the school Niran discovered hard light, something the founder couldn’t share due to Vishkar implementing restrictions to technology. Using the structure, Niran created something new. An unstable biolight that could create organic material and heal the world in a blink of an eye. Niran wanted to gift it to the world, but Vishkar wanted to claim ownership of the invention. Niran ended up leaving the school and his parents begged for him to return, cutting off all of the money he had from them. Niran retreated to the Atlantic Arcology where he stayed and perfected biolight, making it more stable. 

this is a continuation of the last journal entries I uploaded previously!

Day 54- I found out how to clean my suit and I found the thing that’s been fucking watching me. I turned on the security cameras today once I finally figured out how to get them up and running. I also found out how to pull out our emergency barricades, so I put those up to I don’t know how to put them down but as of right now I don’t plan on leaving. But as soon as I turned on the cameras, I saw something outside of Charles room and then I heard screaming. First off he had been alive this whole time! Well, he wasn’t for long because I saw this huge creature crawl, or I guess dragged itself? Into his room and I don’t know what went down from there because thank God we don’t have cameras in our room. I’m kind of glad Charles died though he would be a pain to work with during all this. But I swear the creature looked at the camera before all the shit went down. Something about it felt so human though I’m going to see if I can slow down the footage and see what the creature really is. 

Day 56- Ok so it took me two days to get these shitty cameras to slow down and show anything but grain! It was worth it and not in a way because now I’m terrified and probably going to go insane. This monster or creature I will say because I now know it is human. Many humans stuck together forming a giant mass. To be honest it’s horrifying and all of them are the ones I presumed dead. I feel a connection to them I feel awful for their situation, but I also know they killed my coworkers, and I don’t know if I will be next. 

Day 60- I have found a contact that will listen to me and it’s one of my old work buddies. God, I wish I had just kept that stupid office job and never chosen this hell over it. Johnathen said he is talking with our HR boss the stupid big man both metaphorically and not who ran this whole operation. Ran it from the comfort of his office where he ignored my emails for help. Johnathen, unlike me, is good friends with him and said he talked him into sending a team to fly me out. He said the boss had laughed when he was informed that everyone in our team had been killed, he said he assumed the last team he had sent just quit. Apparently making crude remarks and saying they must have died due to poor work ethic and no survival skills; I don’t think Johnathen will remain friends with him after this interaction. 

Getting away from ruining and picking apart children’s shows, I’m going to analyze my favorite songs. I enjoy various artists ranging from The Foundations, Chappell Roan, and even Incubus. This causes the genres I listen to, to also be all over the place. You will see that as I go through the songs today. 

According to stats.fm for Spotify, my top genres for the past 6 months have been Rock, Pop, Alternative, Classic Rock, and Mellow Gold.

    The 3-minute song, “Build Me Up Buttercup” by The Foundations is truly magical. It is in the C key and 4/4 time signature. The song is a story told by a lover who feels he is not getting enough reciprocation in his relationship/situationship. His lover never calls him when they say they will but he will love them still. This cycle continues throughout the song of the man’s lover continuing to not do right by him. Although the song is upbeat and fun, the lyrics depict a one-sided relationship that is mainly over the phone. This can be very relatable to current long-distance relationships who only ever talk through texting or phone calls. Many relationships develop and work that way. I enjoy this song because of the upbeat rhythm and the relatable lyrics.

    The nearly 4-minute song “Kaleidoscope” by Chappell Roan is a ballad that is in the B Major key and has a tempo of 77BPM. The song travels through a relationship that has just ended. The two were originally friends but ended up as more, we see this in the lyrics: “I guess we could pretend/ We didn’t cross the line” Roan still admires the other member of this relationship as she sings throughout the song. In the last of the lyrics, Chappell sings “Don’t be afraid to hold it close”, this makes sense because she still loves her ex-partner as a friend. It is still love but it is not the same kind of love, this follows the “Love is a kaleidoscope” metaphor throughout the song. I like this song because it shows how confusing love truly can be.

    The 3-and-a-half-minute song “Wish You Were Here” by Incubus is one of my personal favorites off of the morning view album. The song is about feeling free from yourself to enjoy life for a moment. The lyrics “The world’s a rollercoaster/ And I am not strapped in/ Well, maybe I should hold with care/But my hands are busy in the air..” are very interesting for me because they show how free the singer feels. Being on a rollercoaster without being strapped in and not holding on sounds pretty free… it also sounds like many injuries (although it’s only a metaphor). Relating to the title, the singer wants to feel this freedom with a certain person. Throughout the song, he repeats the lyrics “I wish you were here” to emphasize that. I love this song because it allows me to relax and imagine a place where I can be with someone I miss. This band is also very special to me as it was one of my late mother’s favorites. 

I’m embarrassed to admit that I grew up entirely on the Internet. My dad got me my first laptop when I was just 4 years old. Of course, he did it in good favor. I had always played games on his laptop so he just decided to get me my own. But instead of using his own laptop for work like he thought he would, he just spent all his time playing Club Penguin and Pixie Hollow with me. Times like that created the best memories I have to this day.

So when I moved to America in 2014, I was (unfortunately) chronically online at the ripe age of 6. I spent every single day on YouTube. Wasting hours of my day with my eyes glued to the screen. But honestly, I look back on those moments fondly. I had fun and that’s really all that mattered. I wasn’t doing anything harmful and I think I grew up to be an alright person. Hopefully others think I’m a little more than “alright,” though.

In my early days of YouTube, I got really into indie games (like most people). The first one I remember was Five Nights at Freddy’s but I refuse to talk about that one… So instead, I’ll discuss the ones that positively impacted me and still affect me to this day – like Undertale.

Words actually cannot describe just how much Undertale (and Deltarune!) impacted me as a person. I have 2 huge Undertale posters above my bed at home and a Deltarune print on my wall at MSA. I also have more merch on this year’s Christmas list so if anyone wants to get me a little something, you know what to get… 

Undertale was a game released in 2015 where you play as a little kid that falls into the “Underground” and you can either make friends with “Monsters” or kill them. I remember watching Jacksepticeye’s playthrough of it and then scouring YouTube to watch as many more playthroughs as little 7-year-old me could. I never actually played it, but I did play Deltarune which is kind of an alternate reality to Undertale.

Sally Face was another game that shook my whole world as a kid. This one was released in 2016, and I remember being obsessed with Gloom’s playthrough of it. It’s about a boy with a prosthetic face that solves mysteries and goes ghost hunting with his friends. I was so confused about the story and it took me so long to figure it out, because I was literally 8-years-old when the first chapters released. When I was a kid, I was really picky about the art styles of the games and shows that I watched, and I remember being somewhat grossed out by the style of Sally Face, but now I love it with my whole entire heart. I also have a giant poster of it in my room back at home (and it’s kind of creepy).

Stardew Valley actually changed me as a person. I would not be the girl I am today if Stardew Valley did not come out in 2016. Back then, I hated living in Mississippi and I wanted to move to big cities so badly, and then this little farming simulator came out and my entire world changed. It’s actually unhealthy. I’ll sit outside and think “this is just like Stardew Valley.” No girl, this is literally your backyard. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve made it my goal to move to the countryside when I’m old just because of Stardew Valley. Y’all wouldn’t get it…

I’m a little worried about how much I’ve bared my soul in these blogs. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop anytime soon. I just love to overshare. I’d love to hear about anyone else’s favorite memories about their early days on the Internet or if they were obsessed with indie games too. Expect my next blog to be about Deltarune.

Subnautica is a videogame that released its early access in 2014. It’s an underwater horror/adventure games where you swim around an alien ocean collecting materials to find a way to get off of the planet.

I played this game last year with my friend who begged me to get it. I had already known what it was due to my favorite youtubers playing it when I was younger. I also had it already; I was just too scared to play it. I was scared of the big open ocean that I had to explore. But, because of my friends begging, I played it anyways.

When I got into the game, I started off in a shallow area where I could collect basic materials without much risk. I was even scared of that part, but I still played because I knew there was a story to the game. I eventually progressed so much that I had a submarine and could go to the deep ocean where there was a lot of scary sea creatures. I was freaking out throughout the entire time I was playing, but I had so much fun. It had me thinking a lot and was a very beautiful game. It had a bunch of journal entries and data logs around the map that gave you some lore about the things that happened on that planet. Some of the aliens there weren’t even from that planet.

There were voice logs and crashed life pods everywhere that gave so much lore about the company that got the main character there. The main character isn’t even important to the overall story kind of. He’s just a janitor that just so happened to survive the crash landing and to something that really developed the whole story. What he does at the end of the game is really the only thing he does that contributes to the story. The rest of it is just him being vessel for the player to use to figure out the story and play the game. I thought that was really interesting.

Subnautica was a very big part of my early 2024. I loved going home to play that game knowing that I was closer and closer to finishing a masterpiece. I eventually downloaded the spin-off game and completed that too. All of this to say that YOU ALL SHOULD PLAY SUBNAUTICA. IT IS SUPER DUPER FUN. Also, Subnautica two is coming out soon. After years of waiting, we are finally getting it. So, when it’s here, don’t talk to me because that’s all I will be thinking about.

Shop is an album made by Jack Stauber that aired on adult swim in 2019. It consists of 8 songs, and I will be talking about the videos!

The musical begins with the main character struggling to choose a free sample. You can only get one and he’s not sure which on to get. The person selling it tells him to just take one and he walks away saying he’ll come back for it.

1. Milk

In the song milk a guy runs into an old lady saying “Pecan”. She wants pecan cookies, and he reaches to get them but grabs the wrong ones. The lady asks if he’s deaf then asks for him to get the right one, saying she’ll try the other cookies next time. He grabs the box but when he looks down the lady disappears. When he gets his milk, he sees that it’s expired.

The song consists of many questions. Like asking what kind of milk are you? What kind of life did you live? Was your life good or bad? Did you have friends or were you all alone? Did they laugh at you, or did you laugh with them? The song ends with saying your days are gone and the grocery list goes on. The guy eventually finds one that isn’t expired and puts it in his basket.

2. Bread

It starts with the guy looking at artisanal vitamin bread. A man grabs it from him and the guy calls it interesting and asks about it. The man says it’s for his dog, he says doesn’t shop there and practically calls the food inedible. The guy makes a joke about his dog being artisanal bred and the man asks if he’s deaf because he just said the dog ate the bread. He then leaves. 

The song starts with talking about everything artisanal. A house, a wife, a car, an artisanal life. Just to see what people would think of him. He asks, “What’s an artisanal me?” Which people are his artisanal friends? Does he impress you? Can he hide behind his success? Is it really success if he lets his things talk to him? Then they all go away and he’s on his own again. He then grabs a bread branded ‘WOWZA’ and puts it in his basket. (I just think it’s a fun name.)

3. Paper towels

This starts with a couple across the aisle looking for vegan hotdog buns. Something falls on the man’s head and it pans back to the guy where a glass falls in front of him. The employee asks if he just broke that, the guy says no. He then gets down and starts picking the glass up before cutting his finger. The guy asks if he’s okay, but the employee starts yapping about how the glass shattered instantly but it would take weeks to put it back together and it’ll never be the same. The guy keeps trying to talk but the employee keeps going on how even with his finger, it cut so easily but it’ll take years to heal. Then he tells the guy the paper towels are on aisle 8. He even says the more paper towels you use the more of a mess you make.

The songs start with saying messes are irreversible, unraveling, unstoppable. How can you contain it when it’s nonstop and endless? Can he put a halt on his? There’s an infinite gain but there’s a break in the chain. It’s out of his hands, the universe will expand! It ends with him finding and indestructible washrag. He even says, “No downside to mass producing these.”

4. Oatmeal

Starts with a man asking to guy to move out of the way. The man is clearly troubled and in a rush. He’s on a tight schedule and needed to be in the frozen sections 3 seconds ago. He won’t be able to have peas with his dinner this Wednesday! He says your body is like a clock and in you don’t plan accordingly you could, y’know. He stops explaining due to the fact he was behind. He then walks away, and the guy looks at oatmeal. A whole box isn’t expensive, for 100 bowls. He could eat it for the rest of his life!

The song starts with him saying he could have oatmeal for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He could have it when he wakes up and brushes his teeth. He could have an oatmeal job, and oatmeal home, oatmeal sleep. An everyday oatmeal routine. Life could have rhythm and harmony! The vibe of the song changes and talks about unexpected circumstances. How could you know what will happen? Is routine human? Is it a master? It’s disastrous without one, but you can adapt to chaos faster. The guy just grabs a mystery flavored oatmeal.

5. Coffee

He thinks he has the whole aisle to himself until a lady appears out of nowhere with a cup of coffee in her hand. The lady talks very fast before just stopping, her entire face drops, and he’s confused. She fell asleep and all it took was a sip of the coffee to wake her up. She looks at the time and says she forgot her son at daycare. She asks his name, and he sits in silence, so she asks if he’s deaf, she then leaves and says she’ll pray for ears before he spaces out.

The song starts with asking is it needed? The coffee. How it makes you feel alive, but do you really need it to survive? Just a sip, the coffee is coaxing him into having more, but he’s conflicted on if he needs any more. The coffee is turning into an addiction, he spends money on it and not anything important. He says maybe he needs a cup of self-control. The song ends with him just getting decaf coffee. 

6. Cheese (and all of the cheese puns)

In this song he doesn’t meet anyone. Instead, it starts by saying, “A dark walk through the five aisles of grief.

In the song he is overwhelmed by choice “This can’t brie”. There’s so much cheese and he doesn’t know which on he wants. “You gouda be kidding me. I can’t make these decisions on my provolone.” He’s conflicted and unsure on which one to chose. It’s a throwback to the beginning where he’s indecisive. “Could someone else select my cheddar?” He’ll just look the other way and let the universe choose for him. He did! Dairy free maple coconut water cheese. He says I could’ve picked something better than that.

7. Finale

In this song he realizes that he can make his own choices. He could pick something better for himself than anyone else could! His decisions make him a good go-getter. All milk expires and sometimes your oatmeal/routines need to be tossed and something new can come out of it. Moderate your coffee! Life gets messy and the things you own do not define you. 

The musical ends with him going back to get the free sample. He tries strawberry and thinks it’s amazing! He asks to try the other and the man tells him no.