Author: James Ballard

“You have been drawn,” are a few of many words on the page. I can’t stop reading those four words. I can’t stop thinking, “I’m going to die.” I’m going to lose everything I care for. No one has survived. They can say they have all they want, but no survivor has been seen. I can’t believe I’m next. Why won’t my legs move? They feel so heavy. I need them to get to the door.  

“Parker?” my mom calls from the driveway. 

“Parker, what’s going on?” my dad asks standing next to her. 

“They… they drew me,” is all I can mutter back. 

My mother fell to her knees after hearing those words. It’s crazy how big of an effect just a few words can cause. Thes words cause me to stand frozen and cause my mom to weep on the ground and cause my dad to stand there trying to figure out what to do. 

About two years ago, the U.S. Government implemented a draft like plan. Every month, a handful of people would be drawn basically from a hat. If you are drawn, you are forced to have this experimental surgery. The surgery is supposed to help the government get a better understanding of this new biotechnology. Apparently, it’s supposed to revolutionize the way we live. Once used, it’s supposed to change everything. But the problem is, they won’t tell us anything about it. What it is, what it does, why we want it. Nothing. ` 

Everyone who gets drawn goes and never comes back. They always tell us that people survive all the time, but that is just a lie. My uncle got drawn in the first year. When he didn’t return, they told us he survived a moved somewhere else. Then every week we would receive letters from him saying how good his life was now and how his “enhancement” makes everything so much better. The problem was, he didn’t really talk to us much. So, why was he sending us letters. 

After many moments of crying and silece, we all decided to walk back inside. My dad holds my mom as she continues to cry. He carries her through the door where he lets go of her so she can go to the couch. 

“What do I do?” I ask. 

“What can you do?” my dad answers. This makes my mom weep even harder. 

“But I’m not ready to die,” 

“You won’t. Your uncle survived. I’m sure it’s going to be fine,” he tells me. 

“We haven’t seen him since he left for the surgery. We have no idea if those letters are even from him,” I yell. 

“I’ve told you time and time again, stop saying that! My brother is alive, and you know that. You will survive. We will have you back. There’s nothing for you to do,” says my dad. 

“No, I have to go. I have to run. Y’all have to take me somewhere. I can’t risk this. My whole life will go away,”  

“Run where? They’re going to find you no matter what. You have to do this. We will not let you run from this. For once in your life, you need to be responsible,” he yells at me. 

I look at my mom to see if she is willing to help. Our eyes connect, but she looks away. That was all I needed to see to know that she was on his side. At that moment I knew that I couldn’t stay there. My own parents weren’t willing to help save me. So, now I must go to a place where I can get help. 

Six months ago, not long after my uncle was drawn, I was taken to the police station after stealing a few things from a clothing store. Though I’ve been there a few more times since then, that was my very first time being arrested. I’m not sure why I steal. My parents don’t really support me in the way that I need them to. Maybe it’s for attention. Maybe it’s for freedom. I can normally get out of trouble easily, though. I’m a good liar. I use the young and stupid excuse all the time. It works like a charm.  

Okay, so this go home weekend, I had a problem. When I was driving the day before, my car was running funny. When I pulled out of parking spots and put it into drive, it would barely move even when I was putting my foot on the gas. After like 15 seconds it would work normal again, but after the third time of it happening, the check engine light came on. OH NO! So, when I got back to school, I was freaking out. But then Ms. Sudie started to ask me about how I was liking it, and I told her that I liked it, but I was also having a problem. Me and her came to a conclusion that it had to be a transmission problem, and she wanted to check my transmission fluid before I left. Mind you that drive is 3 hours for me.

The next day when she tried to check the fluid, we find out my cars model doesn’t have a dipstick for the transmission fluid. So, I had to take it to Autozone to get a diagnostic ran on it. When the guy came out to use the device, I knew I was doomed. The wire on it was all torn and taped up and it was awful. It took 20 minutes to run a diagnostic. If you don’t know, those are supposed to take at most five minutes. THEN WHEN HE GOD THE CODE, HE TOLD ME TO LOOK IT UP INSTEAD OF HIM CONNECTING IT TO THE COMPUTER AND PRINTING IT OUT. I was so mad. But I looked it up and it turned out to be a sensor in the engine. Not something with the transmission. But he gave me no info on the sensor. He told me to just not drive fast, and I’ll be fine. Then he said if I wanted to no more, I would have to go to the Nissan dealership. So, I did. Bad idea. The guy there spoke mechanic gibberish. I didn’t know what he was talking about. I don’t know cars like that. I told him about how long the drive was, and he was very hesitant with telling me that it would be okay and he just said it could be fine. Bro. Help. He also told me it would be 450 dollars to fix. The gulp I did…

After all that, I just left and went home. I still sped when the guy told me not too. I had no problems the whole way. The very next day my mom took it to her mechanic friend, and he said it was an easy fix and not that big of a deal. He fixed it for less than 100 dollars and it was as good as new. Well, kind of. The car is rejecting the sensor now. He told me that wasn’t common, but he has seen it happen. Btw don’t think this guy sucks. He’s the best mechanic I’ve ever had. But he told me the car will definitely last the two weeks I’m up here, so we didn’t get it fixed again because it would be to close. So, when I go back, I have to bring it to him to get it fixed. It’s been pretty fine. I think. Wish me luck, guys. Nothings keeping me out that driver’s seat though.

So, last week I went home for the weekend early on Thursday. I was so excited because I knew I would be coming back with my car. The only reason I didn’t have it was because we needed to get the insurance and all the paperwork filled out. Well, we got all that done, so I was ready to take it to school. But first, I had to get through the weekend first.

This weekend was awesome, because it was the very first time I got to drive my car on my own. It was on the way home from school where I asked my mom if I could pick my brother up when he got out of school (I left really early in the morning.) That was the only excuse I had in that moment to drive on my own. Thankfully, she said yes. Later that day when I was already home, I got ready and went and picked him up. For the first time, I had total control over the music. Even when I’m driving, my mom dogs on my music and tells me to change it constantly. But now, I got to blast the music as loud as I wanted and listen to whatever I wanted. My brother was embarrassed when I got to his school with music playing really loud, but at least it was Radiohead and not Niki Minaj or something. Later, I was supposed to see my nephew, but stuff didn’t work out. So, instead I took my brother to Gulfport to get popeyes and we drove around for a while. Later we got ice cream, and I had so much fun driving on my own.

The next day I picked him up again, and something awesome happened. I got to see my favorite teacher from Long Beach again. We got to talk while I waited on my brother to come out (he took forever). When he got in the car, another teacher I really liked came by and said hi. When we all were done, me and my brother left and went to McDonalds. We ate that right up and then got back on the road again, where I just drove along the beach with my music playing. It was so fun. After that, my mom called us home, so I drove back.

If you didn’t know, I used to live in Gautier, Ms before I lived in Long Beach. So, Gautier is where my best friend lives. Sadly, because we don’t live by each other anymore, I haven’t seen him since the summer. So, I decided that Saturday was the day I would fix that. I hoped in my car, and I drove the 45 minutes over there. The drive was not that bad at all, and I had a lot of fun getting there. When I got there, he hopped in my car, and I started driving around to see all the old places I went to a lot. Places like my old home and my old schools. There was one restaurant that I loved, but I didn’t get to go that day sadly. We spent the whole day driving around and going to different beaches. We ended the day at his house where we ate dinner. After that, I drove back home and went to bed.

Then came Sunday. This was the day I had to drive the three hours all the way back to school. But I’ve already done this drive two other times with my mom in the car and I did fine, so there wasn’t really anything I was worried about. The whole drive was pretty smooth other than me having to slam on my break twice because of other people. But I was fine. I made it to the school in one piece and got my parking pass to keep my car on campus. 

Diving my car around on my own has taught me two things. I need to get my AC fixed and driving with your mom sucks. I didn’t realize how fun driving was until she wasn’t yelling at me every time I made a mistake. It was sooooo freeing. Okay, that’s it for my yap sesh.

Okay, So I got a car and I’m sure everybody knows that because I made sure y’all did. But, I have yet to make it my own. I only drove it during spring break, and it had to stay at home until this next go home weekend. So, I decided to make an amazon wish list of all the stuff I want to put in it to decorate it. Now, obviously it’s all going to be Spider-Man stuff. Well, also the stuff Kendra wants to put in to decorate it.

The care has a few problems with the interior. The seats have tiny burn holes in them and the driver’s side visor is only attached by one clip. These are things that I can quickly fix with just one buy though. I just need to buy a replacement clip for the visor and then seat covers. I was going to get Spider-Man seat covers, but I figured that would be too much. I think I’m going to keep the Spider-Man stuff to small things that aren’t too big like seat covers are.

My license plate doesn’t have a cover, so when I’m driving, all you can hear is it banging around at every bump. My fix to this to stay on theme is to buy a Spider-Man license plate cover. It’s not a big thing that can be an eyesore, so I think it would be perfect. I also found one that came with a matching steering wheel cover, so I will probably be getting that too. Then, I found seatbelt covers that I can use. I’ve never understood what they’re for or what they protect you from, but they look cool and add to the theme so I’m going to get them anyways. I also found a lot of stickers and stuff I can put on the back window. And then some things I can hang on the rear-view mirror and clip onto the vents.

Next, I wanted to make the backseat a little more comfortable for my extra passengers. I found a lot of Spider-Man plushies and blankets to keep in the back and make it look nice. I do plan on doing road trips in the future, so that would come in handy.

The last Spider-Man thing I will get so far is the biggest thing and kind of contradicts what I said about only getting small things, but you know what? I don’t care. I want it. It’s a Spider-Man sunshade. It just his mask and eyes so it looks like my car is Spider-Man. I really want it. It’d be really dumb, but I’d love it. And it would be useful. My dashboard wouldn’t dirty up my windshield with all the protectants that evaporate off it during the summer which would be very helpful because one: I hate putting on new protectants. And two: I hate cleaning the inside of my windshield. It will also help with keeping my car a little cooler in the summer. 

There are also a few little things that I want to get that aren’t Spider-Man themed because it would either be too much or not practical. I want to get back seat curtains or window shade for those long trips where I might have to stop and lay down. I also want to get a panoramic rear0view mirror because that would help me a whole bunch.

I’m still looking around for stuff, but these are some of the main things I want to get. I hope to be able to get a few of them soon. I can’t wait to deck my car out. Before this blog and even after I titled it, I still didn’t have a name for my car, but I think I will call it my Spider-Mobile. Mayble that will change. Maybe Pete. Who knows?

Okay, so recently, Marvel Rivals has been my new obsession. Like, I am playing it any chance I get. It kind of messed my grades up for a bit but I’m fixing that. But this game is so fun for me, like It’s one of my favorites now.

When it was first announced and we saw gameplay of it, I did not want to play. I never found overwatch fun to play in my opinion, so looking at a game that looked so much like it made me not want to play. I was very upset because I really wanted a good marvel game to come out, because they have been Kind of lacking other than the Spider-Man games. 

It wasn’t until they released the beta of the game when I started to want to play it. I saw some streamers play it and it looked so fun. I couldn’t play it myself because the beta was only on PC, but I definitely watched. When they added Jeff the Land Shark, I needed it. I was so ready to main Spider-Man and play all day every day.

One day, the full release went out, and it was on all consoles. So of course, I downloaded it instantly and started playing. I quickly realized how hard it was, and I started to distance from it. I really wanted to main Spider-Man, but his play style just wasn’t for me. 

Every now and then I would play the game but quickly get off because I would play a character and get mad that I didn’t know how to play. It wasn’t until I stumbled upon Iron Fist when I really started to get back into it. When I tell you that dude if fun, I mean it. His abilities consist of punching, kicking, and more punching. All he does is kick people’s butts. He has HANDS. It’s so fun to go around and beat the crap out of all the vanguards and the supports. He isn’t the easiest to play and it does take a little bit to get used to him, but after I did, he became my main because I can’t live without him. Occasionally when we need a support, I’ll be Jeff, but Iron Fist is my ride or die. 

This game has put me in a chokehold, and I never want to be let free. Every single day I look forward to getting out of school and playing it. This is the most fun game I’ve ever played, and I pray that some of you will try it out. PLEASEEEE!!!

Don’t you just love getting in the cycle of being able to rot away in bed and not worry about school or academic problems because you are on break. I do too. But I feel like I have run into a problem that many others have run into. It’s really hard to escape that cycle when the time comes.

The first semester here at MSA has really been a doozy. It really felt like a whole school year already. So, when the time for Christmas break came around, I just stopped thinking about school entirely. I was so relieved to be gone I didn’t think about the fact that I would have to go back soon. I rotted away in bed, got the sleep I was looking for, relaxed. I did all the things I would do if it were summer. Because it felt like the year had ended.

The break was much needed for me, but I feel like it was too much. Especially combined with the snow break. Taking so much time away from school really through me off and made me lose all of my motivation. Writing was extremely difficult, and I couldn’t even bring myself to lift my computer. I began to get really behind in some classes, and I started to get even more stressed.

At first, I thought I was just being lazy, and it was only a me thing. But later I found out that other people were having this problem. Others also felt like they were leaving and not coming back for a while and coming back so soon threw them off too. I think the reason for this is because a full summer is enough to reset your brain and give you enough time to get ready for the next year. So, when you don’t think you’re coming back or it doesn’t feel like it, going back so soon doesn’t give you the time to reset and be prepared. I think we all had that in between of not enough time and too much. Leaning more toward too much.

I feel as if I am just now getting back into the swing of things after a month of this semester already being up. I’ve never felt this way before and I wonder if there are things I can do to prevent this from happening in the future. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t really want another break. I feel like the weekends are enough for me right now. 

I’m not sure if any of you relate or if this even made sense, but I hope some of you may relate and if you have any tips on how to prevent this, please share.

Inspired by the Urban Legend, “Baba Yaga”

Today, I walked past a cabin while I was on my morning walk. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but it wasn’t there yesterday. It looked normal from what I could tell. It had a door in the middle of the face, with two windows on either side, sort of like a face. It had two lawn chairs on the small deck. They practically took up everything but the doorway. A little table was off the side of the deck, sitting on top of a large wooden box so it could be level with the deck. It also had a stone chimney on the side that was being used. Not only did the cabin appear out of nowhere, but it already had residents or at least a cold realtor.

I went on my morning walk this morning. Admittedly, I was kind of looking forward to this walk. The cabin had me extremely curious. The only problem was that it wasn’t there. Just like it had appeared out of thin air, it had disappeared. There were no signs of it even being there. There wasn’t even any space cleaned out for a cabin. It was like it never existed.

It’s been about two months since the last time I saw the cabin. I have looked at every part of the trail. Not once did I see it. But today, it was just sitting there again. But it didn’t look the same. The door was on the right of the face of the cabin. The two windows had merged into one big one. The deck was a lot bigger, and it could fit both chairs and a new coffee table. The chimney was the same, and I was still in use. The cabin looked so different, yet it was the same. This time, I looked up my exact location and saved it. I’ll come back tomorrow to see if it’s still there.

I went to the exact location and it wasn’t there. I don’t know whether I should think I’m crazy or not. I proved that it disappeared, but now I don’t have proof that it ever existed. That’s why I’m writing these down. I want to tell somebody but no one will believe me. This is the next best thing. It’s the same as before. There is no indication of any cabin being here. 

It has been 5 months since I saw it last. This time, I’m looking at it while writing. The deck has been stripped of any furniture. It’s the same size as last time. The door is on the left now. The window is now split back into two and is to the right of the door. It now has a dormer on the roof. The chimney was now made of brick, and it was still smoking. I have been thinking about this mystery for way too long. This time, I’m going to see who lives here. The mailbox says Yaga. I’ve never heard of anyone with that name, but I’ve decided that I’m going to meet this “Yaga.”

Barry is a T.V. show that is available to stream on Max. Recently, I have been seeing a lot more people watch it. So, I wanted to write this blog for anyone else who may have been interested. Just a heads up, this is a show full of violence and trauma. Watch if you want.

Barry was a show that I watched a while ago before its season four even came out. The series started as if it were a more serious comedy. This is probably because Bill Hader plays the main character and wrote part of the show so there is going to be a decent bit of comedy. But basically, Barry is about a former marine that could go back to civilian life, so he became a hitman. While on a new mission, he had to go into an acting class. This sparked his dream for acting and then became something he runs back to many times in the story while he gets entangled with nearby mafias. His worlds begin to crash together as his acting life starts getting too close to his killing life. Eventually, when all seems lost for Barry, he looks for any way possible to fix it.

Barry is a much deeper show than it seems. On the surface there’s the main story, but underneath that, there’s nods to the end of the story and character details that become a lot more prominent near the end of the show. Whether that be narcissism, a weak will, pride, courtesy. This show has so many likeable characters in it. NoHo Hank is one of those. He is by far my favorite character in the show. When you see him and how funny his character is, you’ll see what I mean. He also has a big character arc and becomes way bigger of a character than he was in the beginning. There are also very unlikeable characters in the show. But, for some reason you know they are perfect for the show and help develop it more.

This show really kept me entertained at the start of the post covid times. I really think that it was a very wonderful creation by the makers of the show. It’s quick action and deep story forces you to binge the whole show in one sitting. If you watch this show, please let me know what you think. Thank you!

Over Thanksgiving break, I decided to finally watch Perks of Being a Wallflower. This movie was recommended to me by so many people and I just never got to watching it. So, when I did, I realized why they were recommending me this movie.

This movie centers around a freshman named Charlie. He goes into high school thinking he is going to hate it, but then soon finds out how fun it can be. He makes a bunch of new senior friends who take him on all kinds of fun adventures, and he becomes way happier than he was before. When he makes a mistake and gets abandoned by his friends, he starts going into a darker and darker place. Eventually, they all make up and things seem to get a lot better. But, when they all leave for college, he goes right back to that dark place, deeper than before. So deep he has to get help for it. But the help really works, and he is able to get out of it and make the most out of his life. Throughout this movie, he struggles with things from his past. These things have way deeper meanings, and that is seen as the movie progresses.

This movie was based on a book of the same name. After watching, I got the book and started to see the similarities and the differences between the two. So far, they are pretty similar story-wise. A few things were changed, but overall, they both are really beautiful stories and tell it great in their own ways.

This movie was probably the very first movie I’ve ever cried to. I don’t usually get emotional when watching movies, but this one really got me. The music in it was beautiful and it had really amazing scenes. It really encapsulates the “young and stupid teens” experience. Many of the things in the movie are really relatable and had me feeling a connection with the movie.

This movie will continue to be one of my favorite movies ever now. I don’t think anything can surpass it and if you think there is something that can, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!! But, if you have not watched this movie, I really recommend you do so. Your life will be changed after. Also read the book. I’m not done with it yet, but I can’t wait to continue reading because I am hooked.