Bailey Ownby – Literary Arts Blogspace

Let it go, bro (bars)

I may be alone in this, but sometimes one mean comment can ruin my entire week. It doesn’t even have to be something huge. Someone can make a little joke about you, say something unnecessarily rude, or make a comment that they probably forget five minutes later. But I’m still thinking about it three days later. Why did they say that? Did they mean it? Is that really what people think about me? We’re all guilty of letting other people’s words get in our heads. Something I’ve been learning is that not everything people say deserves a permanent place in our head. Accept your feelings and then let them go

People say mean things because they’re angry. People are trying to be funny and take it too far. Someone is insecure and wants someone else to feel small. Sometimes, people are just mean. That doesn’t make what they said true. That’s where I get confused. I hear something negative about me, and because someone else said it out loud, I start wondering if it must be true.

But someone else’s opinion is still just an opinion. If someone tells you that you’re annoying, that doesn’t make you annoting to the next person. If someone makes fun of something you like, that doesn’t make liking it embarrassing. If someone doesn’t like you, that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.

Not taking something to heart isn’t saying it didn’t hurt. If someone says something mean and you feel upset, that’s natural. Trust me, I’d know. You don’t have to be completely unaffected by everything. You shouldn’t want to become emotionless. You should want to learn how to feel something without letting it become your entire view of things. You can think, “Wow, that really hurts my feelings,” without thinking, “They must be right about me.”Those are two different thoughts.

The next time someone says something that gets under your skin, ask yourself one question

Do I actually believe this about myself?

If the answer is no, then why are you letting someone else’s opinion take up so much space in your head, bruh? And if the answer is yes, maybe that’s something worth thinking about..not because that person was right to be mean, but because you need to understand why their words affected you. You can’t control what people say, you can’t make everyone like you, you definitely can’t stop people from being rude. But..you can decide how much power their words get to have on your day. Next time someone says something mean, let yourself be upset if you want. I do. Then take a deep breath, remind yourself who you are, ask yourself whether those words are true. If they are, figure out why it hurt to hear the truth, if they aren’t, LET IT GO BRUUUUHHHH.

Okay love you, Bye byeeeeyeyeyeyeey!!!!

Conflict resolution

Hello everypony, my middle school self would like to formally apologize for the amount of friendship drama I witnessed…and caused

There was this girl I used to be friends with who had a specific way of dealing with conflict..she just ghosted you..in person. You could walk right up to her and start talking, and she would just walk away. This was her solution to literally everything.

That friendship definitely taught me something, though. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a lot more conscious of how I deal with conflict. I’ve made my own mistakes, obviously. I’ve argued over text. I’ve complained to other friends when I should have just talked to the person involved. I’ve said things while I was angry that probably would have sounded a lot better if I had waited five minutes. I’ve also learned that friendships are going to have uncomfortable moments. What matters is your conflict resolution.

It could be your friend has been acting weird and you have no idea why, you got left out of something, there’s a boy involved, someone said something that bothered you or maybe you don’t even know who is mad and why. Whatever the situation is, here’s what I’ve learned about dealing with it.

First, figure out what you’re trying to say.

You don’t need to write a speech or prepare a ten-page argument. Just know what’s bothering you. Before I talk to them, I think: What happened? Why am I upset? What do I want them to understand? What do I want to happen? If you’re nervous, write it down. Put everything in your notes app. Tell your mom. Talk to someone you trust.

And please, do not have the argument through text. I know it’s easy. You can type out exactly what you want to say, read it seventeen times, and send it without having to look at their face. Sounds amazing. Right? WRONG. If you can, talk face-to-face.. Sit somewhere quiet. Find somewhere you both feel comfortable enough to talk. AND DON’T INVOLVE PEOPLE WHO DON’T NEED TO BE INVOLVED.

Now, I start with the friendship, and not the problem. Before immediately listing everything they’ve done wrong, tell them why you’re having this conversation instead of just dropping them. Something as simple as, “I really care about you, and that’s why I don’t want to just ignore what’s been happening between us.” is usually my go to. That one sentence can completely change their mindset.

You’re not saying, Here is everything I hate about you. You’re saying, Our friendship matters enough to me that I really want to fix this.

There is nothing embarrassing about admitting that something hurt you. When you explain what happened, try to focus on your experience instead of attacking theirs. Instead of saying something like…

“You’ve been treating me like garbage.”

I’d say somethin like…

“I’ve felt really distant from you lately, and I honestly haven’t known what I did wrong.”

Same feeling. Just not as dramatic. And once you’ve said your part, stop talking and let them answer.

This is probably the hardest part for me because I might hear something I don’t agree with. Maybe they misunderstood something. Maybe they’re upset about something completely different. Maybe they have a perspective I never even considered.

You don’t have to immediately defend yourself against every sentence. You can say, “I didn’t realize you felt that way,” or even just, “I need a little time to think about that.”

Finally, don’t make the ending awkward just because the conversation was awkward. You don’t have to walk away with everything magically fixed. Sometimes the best ending is simply agreeing that you’ll both try to communicate better next time. You could say, “Can we just promise that if something is bothering us, we’ll actually say something next time?”

I know this is scary. Confrontation feels so so scary, but it’s a necessary part of growing up. So don’t be too scared to confront a bad friend!

We got this!

Okay love you, bye bye!!!!

The art of teen drama shows

This is something I am disgustingly over-educated in. I’ve seen it all. XO kitty, my life with the Walter boys, The summer I turned pretty, even Ginny and Georgia. I’m a sucker for something that I can watch without using any of the important parts of my brain. The lower the budget of the show, the better. I personally tend to stick with the Netflix originals.

If you’re a teenage girl you’ve probably seen at least one of the “To all the boys but I’ve loved before” movies. Kitty was Laura-Jean’s annoying little sister who sent the letters. XO Kitty is a spin-off revolving around Kitty as she moves to Seoul, Korea to go to a school called KISS. (Korea Independent School of Seoul).

Kitty had an online boyfriend who also went there named Dae. Kitty made the dumb decision to NOT tell Dae that she not only got into KISS but also was planning to surprise him AT KISS. Ugh. When she arrived at KISS, she learned that Dae, in fact, had a girlfriend there. This was the first major conflict in the show, and after that it never ends. It’s dramatic plot point after dramatic plot point. It has me hooked.

Another show I’ve been into as of late is called “My Life with the Walter Boys.” It is so stupid, but so addicting. The show follows a girl named Jackie, who has this tragic backstory that causes her to move to a small town in Colorado called Silver Falls. The people she moves in with is this big family called the Walters. The parents have so many children. I believe it’s 8 children plus two nephews, and now Jackie. 11 kids plus parents all under one roof. When Jackie arrives, she’s immediately interested in two of the brothers. Alex and Cole. This is like my very own team Edward or team Jacob. I’m on Team NEITHER. They both make very toxic boyfriends in their own way. Now, I know I have to pick one. So, I guess it’d depend on the season. Season one I’m going with Alex all day, but season two is going to have to be Cole. See, season one Cole was the bad boy player while Alex was the sweet one, but in season 2 it all kind of switches. Alex goes away all summer to some horse camp and when he comes back, he’s kind of a jerk. Meanwhile, Cole actually starts caring about school. It’s just drama after drama. I love it. Season three just came out, and I can’t wait to see how it unfolds. Okay love ya bye!

My first ever blog. -Bailey O

Hello everypony. I’m going to come up with a clever greeting soon enough, but for now we’re just getting words out. My blog is going to be a place that I HOPE feels like a conversation during a family gathering with your cool aunt. I want to talk about EVERYTHING here. I never want you to be afraid to tell me that my blog needs work or that it just sucks. I’m always open to criticism. The main topics I know I’ll talk about at least once are listed below.

Marvel
DC
Religion
My friends
School
Life hacks
Organization tips (it’s kind of ma thing)
Many more!

First impressions are very important, and this is mine. I hate when I meet someone and all they do is talk about themself, so why would I make MY first impression something I hate? Instead, I’ll describe how I hope you’ll interpret my blogs, my ideal reader, and a surprise topic. Wait. Those are kind of all about me. Yikes. I tried, people, I tried. Anyways! I hope my blog will feel like a one-on-one conversation with a friend. I never want someone to feel discriminated against or offended by anything I put here. Despite the fact I’m basically talking to myself here, I want you to feel like this is somewhere you can open up.

Without further ado…my ideal reader! My ideal reader would be a teenager for sure. Someone who doesn’t judge people before knowing them. A TEA DRINKER. An enjoyer of cinema and books. A person who was born in the summer. Wait. That was oddly specific? Because I just snuck my about me in on you!! It felt too vain to say, “I’m Bailey now read all about ME!” So, you read about me unknowingly. Boom. Obviously, I’m not my own ideal reader. My ideal reader is anyone who wants to read this

Next topic!

I know I may look boring, but I’ve got taste, people. Might I introduce you to my favorite thing? MY LITTLE PONY. Peak cinema. I grew up with My Little Pony. It’s hard to beat. I like to think I’m the most like Twilight and Pinkie pie, but of course that isn’t up to me.

I’ve had many people come up to me in the past and tell me that I’m too for My Little Pony. I think that’s silly. You should always do what makes YOU happy.

I think this concludes my first blog. Thanks for hanging with me. Love you, bye!!!